5. Cassie #2
“I guess it was his idea. I wasn’t really in a place to… look after relationships, but I think he hoped I would snap out of it and…”
“Come back to him.”
My face feels hot as I nod.
“Why’d you break up with him?”
I hesitate. “It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got time.”
“There wasn’t just one single reason. It was hard for our relationship to continue after…
” I glance toward him, but can’t make eye contact.
“I wasn’t emotionally available after what happened.
I tried for a little while, but it didn’t work.
I resented his expectation for things to go back to how they were before, and I physically couldn’t handle a single bit of pressure. ”
“Did he pressure you?”
“Before he did. After that night, he cooled it, but…” I shake my head, really not wanting to think about this.
“One night we went to a party with his friends. The first one I could bring myself to go to after… And he was drinking, which wasn’t anything unusual.
But I wasn’t. And I was already struggling with feeling uneasy and out of place there, then I went out on the back porch to get him.
When I came around the corner, I could hear him and his friends joking around, ribbing each other.
And one of them made some disgusting ‘joke’ about how Tim Walters got inside his girlfriend before he could.
And my heart dropped. I stopped dead in my tracks.
I expected him to get pissed, to defend me, but all he said was, ‘Don’t be a fucking dick.
’ Maybe I interpreted it wrong, or maybe…
my expectations weren’t fair. I don’t know.
But I felt like he was saying that for his own ego, not for me.
Like the guy was being a dick for pointing out he hadn’t slept with me yet, but some other guy...
got there first. He didn’t sound outraged that someone would make that awful joke about what happened to me.
He sounded annoyed, like he would with any ribbing comment, and I just felt myself lose all my feelings for him at that moment.
It was like someone poked a hole in me and it all just leaked right out. ”
Given that my own mother told me I had overreacted, I expect Tor to feel similarly, especially being a guy himself.
But he surprises me by nodding like my feelings about it make sense.
“You want a man whose loyalty you never have to question, who will prioritize your feelings and reputation over not making waves with the boys—or anyone else. Someone you know will always have your back. It’s a sore spot for you at this point. An absolute prerequisite.”
His response takes me off guard and knocks some of the air out of my lungs. It feels like he put into words something I’ve been afraid to acknowledge myself. “Yes.”
“Do you think he would say anything to implicate you?”
It takes me a second to recover from feeling like a guy I’ve barely interacted with might understand me better than people I’ve spent my entire life with and track down the original thread of this conversation.
Russell. The gun. “I don’t think he would volunteer anything, but I don’t know what he’ll say if the police question him. ”
“All right. Well, you need to meet with the lawyer today. You shouldn’t talk to Russell before you do.”
“Yeah, about that. I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think I can stomach letting that asshole represent me. I’m not even sure it’s a good idea.”
“It is a good idea because he’s the best lawyer you’re going to get. You really want to go back to someone who couldn’t get you a win when the evidence was on your side?”
“Not particularly, but surely, there are other lawyers.”
“Other, yes. Not better. Not around here. If there were better lawyers, my family would have hired them. If there was anyone close, they would have done a consult so you couldn’t hire them.”
I scowl. “Your family sucks.”
He cracks a smile. “They don’t expect to pay for their wrongdoing. Consequences are for people who cross us, not for us.”
Maybe before last night.
I don’t say that, of course.
It feels a bit cruel, and while I’ve considered Tor an asshole the entire past year for not breaking ranks with his family and having a conscience, I didn’t really expect him to, either.
And last night, he showed up for me in a way I could never have expected. Kinda makes up for it.
“We’ll both be meeting with him today, but I’m sure we’ll meet separately before we meet together—if we meet together.
Me first so they can grill me and try to convince me to turn on you.
That won’t happen, of course, same as last night.
We stick together no matter what, and you’ll be okay.
Our new reality is that this is not true.
You didn’t commit any crime. That was some intruder we didn’t see because we were upstairs in bed together.
Any embarrassment or guilt that you can’t hide can be attributed to that.
Be warned that my father will likely want to talk to you, and he will grill you—probably worse than the police or the lawyer.
He will be mean even though I’m going to tell him not to.
He will view you as the enemy, and he will be suspicious of this story no matter how airtight we make it. ”
“Even though you and your brother were close?”
He nods. “I didn’t get my careful thought process from my mother. He’s an observant son of a bitch, and he knows what it is to have a ruthless mindset.”
I hesitate, then decide to say the annoying thing that has been lurking on my conscience. “I can’t let your parents pay for my legal defense, Tor.”
“Why not?”
My eyes widen. “Because I killed their son? That’s so fucked up.”
He nods, but in a way that I can tell means he’s going to try to convince me otherwise. “Haven’t you been resenting them for raising a rapist? For going after you because you went after him?”
“Well, yes…”
“So let them pay. I’m here for the renaissance of Cassie Pritchard,” he says, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, “but stick with it. Let the people who wronged you bail you out of trouble for once.”