11. Cassie #2
I stare at him, my jaw practically hitting the tabletop, as unexpectedly delighted as I am horrified. “Did you just call me a pleb?”
Amusement glints in his pretty blue eyes. “A former pleb. Does that help?”
Shaking my head at his audacity, I lean back, laughing despite the absurdity of sitting in a booth at Holroyd’s receiving a classist insult from Torrance fucking Walters. “Wow. Well, enlighten me, Emperor—how do you think the world we live in is set up?”
He leans back too, crossing his arms as he warns me, “You’re not gonna like it.”
“Yeah, I figured. I want to hear it anyway.”
“People like you will never get ahead of people like me.”
Very quickly, my amusement dissipates, but I don’t interrupt.
“You believe in a system of right and wrong, where people who do it right should be rewarded, and people who do wrong should be punished, but in real life, morals and merit don’t fucking matter.
On a personal level, they might, in interpersonal relationships, but the overall system, how the world operates?
None of that matters. Nobody cares. You don’t succeed at the highest levels in this world by being the best. You can work harder and do better than ninety-nine percent of people and still get fucking nowhere.
I mean, you have an edge if you are good at something, but you don’t have to be.
What you need is proximity to the board.
Most people don’t have that and never will in their lives, but suppose you get there.
Then you have to know how to play the game and be willing to play it.
It’s the food chain we learned in science class as kids.
The human world works the same way. We’re a little more sophisticated in the ways we devour each other, but the premise is the same.
You can be at the top, or you can be consumed by the things at the top.
There’s not much room up there, so most people are at least some level of prey—but the best fucking trick of all: nobody thinks they’re the prey. ”
I shake my head. “People are more sophisticated. We have laws, societal norms, morals—”
He holds up a hand to stop me. “Yes, you’re right. We do. For the prey. To manage them, to keep them in their place. Do you see the people at the top holding themselves to those standards?”
My face is hot, and I glare at him even though it’s not really him I’m mad at.
“Of course you don’t. They do whatever the fuck they want. And do they ever pay for it?”
“Not usually,” I say quietly.
He nods, and I feel him easing up a little. “Not usually. Now, you got sick of that. You said, fuck no, you’re not consuming me, and you made a move, and I respect that. I really do. But the only way that doesn’t catch up to you is if you keep moving until you’re out of hot water.”
My soul feels heavier than it has since before I pulled the trigger. “I don’t want to operate this way. I like having morals and living my life in a way that feels right. I didn’t… I didn’t want to… I just wanted justice.”
“I know,” he says, and I can tell he means it. “But the world doesn’t care like you do. The world operates the way it operates, so you can accept that and act accordingly, or you can spend your life wearing yourself out, swimming against the tide.”
“I don’t agree. Some people do care about what’s right.
Maybe those people don’t live in Holbrook, but not everyone will sell their soul to fit in among the ghouls.
Things can—and do—change, but never for the better if the people on the bottom—or the people fighting for the people on the bottom—give up and let the shitty people win.
We are not simple-minded animals. We are capable of being better, and we have a responsibility to each other.
Adopting the ‘every man for himself’ mentality is how the shitty people at the top get away with their crimes.
People at the top of our ‘food chain’ don’t deserve invincibility.
They should be held every bit as accountable as anybody else.
Frankly, if they consider themselves so elite, their behavior should reflect that.
They should be setting a good example, not setting everything on fire. ”
He shrugs. “What they deserve doesn’t matter. We don’t live in a fair world.”
My eyebrows rise. “So you’re okay with the people who have the most power just steamrolling right over the little guy?”
“What I’m okay with doesn’t matter. I’m only the emperor in your mind,” he says with a wink.
I fix him with a glare. “We’re being theoretical here, and you know it. Do you believe the people at the top of the food chain are better than the people at the bottom?”
“No. They’re probably worse across the board, morally speaking—and intellectually once spoiled, dipshit heirs come into play.
The people who actually accumulated that kind of wealth and power likely did some pretty bad shit to get it, but the fact is they’re willing to.
They don’t confine themselves to the same boxes as those on the lower levels because they know they don’t have to.
They know the rules don’t apply to them. They know they can get away with it.”
“Not always,” I state. “Your brother didn’t get away with it.”
That’s a little mean, but it’s the truth.
“You’re right, but you’re also proving my point.
The system didn’t make him pay. You did.
And in doing so, you broke the norms and mores of your assigned level.
The problem is you don’t have the money or power to do what you did, but you did it anyway.
That gets most people put in prison—gotta keep the plebs in line.
But you lucked out. You have a protector with the right resources, and I’m willing to play dirty to keep your freedom—even if you aren’t. ”
His chosen words cause my heart to skitter. Of course he’s been my protector, but to hear him commit to the role…
Even if I know he can’t get me out of this after what I’m sure Russell has told—or is currently telling—the police, I do appreciate how hard he has tried.
“Can I ask you one more thing?”
“You can ask me anything you want.”
“You didn’t stand up for me before. If you felt… if you weren’t really on your brother’s side, if you didn’t believe he was innocent or didn’t agree with what he did, why were you always on his side before?”
He sighs, considering, then his gaze finds mine again. “I wasn’t raised to follow all the rules like you were, but I was raised with one unbreakable value. Family loyalty to me is what all your good girl shit is to you. It isn’t easy for me to break that.”
I sit with his words for a moment, then ask the question that has been on my mind since however many hours ago it was that my life changed forever.
“Then why would you do that for me?”
He holds my gaze for several quiet heartbeats, then says, “I had to make a split-second decision that I knew would impact the rest of our lives. I had to trust my gut, and all I knew at that moment was that I wanted to protect you—no matter what it cost.”
His words make my heart flutter and soften at the same time, but he’s not even finished.
“Watching you navigate life since last summer has been eye-opening for me. I know you don’t like to hurt people even when they hurt you, and I know how much you must have been hurting to reach a point where this felt like your best option.
I wish you hadn’t been the one to pull that trigger.
I wish you didn’t have to carry that. I can’t change what happened to you, and I can’t erase the pain you’ve had to endure since.
What I can do is shield you now, and that’s what I’m going to do.
We don’t live in a fair or safe world, Cassie, but I’ll keep you safe if you let me. ”