Chapter Fourteen
THE SECOND TY showed up, the air in the clubhouse changed. The hairs on the back of Kelsie’s neck rose to attention, and her scalp prickled with awareness. Drawing air in her lungs became a challenge, and her skin felt hypersensitive as though every breath he took wafted across her exposed nerve endings, making her shiver from across the room.
A better woman might have reacted differently, but the anger in his gaze when he noticed her on Pulse’s shoulders sent a dark thrill of delight through her.
And here she’d thought the night”s biggest win was tolerating another male friend.
Playing the game with Pulse was completely innocent and a giant step forward. The fact that she let a man touch her in a platonic way felt like she’d made a huge leap in her healing. She hadn’t felt so much as a flicker of fear as they’d played the absurd game Harper dreamed up. Pulse was there the night she’d been rescued. He’d helped check her over and make sure she had a private room at the hospital. Next to Ty, she trusted him most but still hadn’t been willing to be too close to him.
Until tonight.
She was tired after Lorenzo’s visit. Too tired to maintain her usual level of vigilance and anxiety. So, when Harper brought up the game, she’d pounced on the chance to play without allowing herself to think too much. Pulse acted as the perfect gentleman, and they’d had a blast.
But then Ty was there, scowling, and all she could think of was getting away from Pulse before the poor guy ended up with a fist in his face.
No one else seemed to notice the tension radiating off Ty in thick waves, but then she was attuned to him on a different level.
But now he was leaving without speaking to her—again. After being away for four days, he’d popped in for five minutes and checked out again.
“Ty’s not sticking around?” Harper asked with a frown as Jinx wandered back over from the bar.
“Nah, he’s heading home.” Jinx opened his arms to Harper, who walked straight into them. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head that made Kelsie’s heart skip a beat.
“What is up with him?” Jo said as she snagged a chip from a bowl on the table.
“He’s good. Think he’s just beat from the long ride back.”
Kelsie also grabbed a few chips.
Jo huffed. “Well, tell him we miss him around here. I’m worried about him.”
“He’ll be around tomorrow. Promise he’s okay. He’s just got some shit to work through. His head’s a bit messy over something he wants but is worried he shouldn’t have.”
All gazes swiveled her way. Kelsie froze with a chip halfway to her mouth. “What?” she squeaked, making Jinx laugh.
“He’s going to his house,” Jinx said, spearing her with a stare that had her squirming. The guy could be intense as hell when he wanted. “Pretty sure you’ve been there before, you know, in case you wanna stop by.”
Tracker snorted. “Subtle, big guy.”
She still held her arm up with a chip poised near her mouth, but she’d completely forgotten it. “Why would I do that?”
Jinx shrugged. “No reason.”
“Oh my God, this is ridiculous, you guys.” Liv huffed and tossed her shiny hair behind her shoulder. “Kelsie, Ty wants you.”
She gasped.
“Don’t act like you’re surprised. Clearly, he left town because he was fighting with himself over wanting you. He’s worried you’re too young and is stressing over… well, everything you’ve been through.”
Kelsie’s face heated.
“Liv…” Brooke muttered.
“No. Kelsie has nothing to be ashamed of, and we’re not doing her or Ty any favors by dancing around these issues. Girl, if you want him, he’s yours. You’ll just have to make the first move because this nonsense is actually him trying to be chivalrous. And if you don’t want him, tell him so he can move on.”
“That’s my girl,” Spec said with a laugh as he slung his arm around Liv’s waist and pulled her back to his chest. “Such a delicate flower.”
Kelsie’s head spun. Was it true? Did Ty skip town because he was fighting his attraction to her for her own good? “I—” She had no idea what to say or do. Her body sure seemed to know what it wanted, though. A delicious throb started up between her thighs. The kind that made her want to squirm and press her legs together. The kind she’d worried she’d never feel again after what she’d suffered. But there it was. And there she was, all needy and growing uncomfortably warm.
All because there was a chance Ty did want her.
“We can drive you over!” Liv practically shouted. She jumped up and down, clapping in Spec’s hold.
“Jesus, woman, scream a little louder.” Spec cupped a palm over his ear.
“Sorry, I’m just so excited for them.” She spun and grabbed Spec’s arms, shaking him.“Let’s drive her over. She’ll be stranded at Ty’s house and have to spend the night.”
“Guys—”
“Yes!” Brenna clapped once, then pointed at Liv. “Do that.”
“Yikes, babe,” Lock said as he laughed. “You realize it’s Kels going to Ty’s, not you, right?”
Without so much as a glance in Lock’s direction, Brenna whacked him on the arm. “I know. I’m just excited for her. This has been a long time coming.”
Oh my God, this train had completely derailed. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Guys, this is insane. He’ll probably toss me out on my ass, and I’ll be calling you to pick me back up within three minutes.”
“Nah,” Spec said as he stood. “The girls are right. Let’s do this shit. Ty needs a good shake-up.”
She looked at Liv, who was practically bouncing around the room, nodding and grinning like a loon.
Am I really doing this?
“Okay.” Liv hopped away from Spec. “You’re taking too long. I’ve decided for you. Let’s go.”
Guess I am.
She stood on unsteady legs and set off after a very perky Liv. She took one step, and a loud wolf whistle rang through the clubhouse.
“Get ’im, girl,” Jinx shouted, then whistled again. “Don’t go easy on him. He deserves a little punishment for skipping town if you know what I mean.”
“That’s right, maybe a good spanking,” Jo added, waggling her eyebrows.
“Oh my God.” Kelsie dropped her face into her hands as it grew hotter than the damn Florida sun. “You guys…”
More hollers and whistles followed her as she practically fled the clubhouse. She’d never had friends like these people. The kind who were all up in each other’s business and had no problem commenting on each other’s sex lives. Not that she had a sex life. Despite their teasing, she only planned to have a conversation with Ty tonight. They needed to clear the air, and that was more important than her awakening libido.
Maybe, if he didn’t freak out at her uninvited arrival, and he seemed open to it, she’d be brave enough to try for another kiss.
But that was as far as it’d go. Her desire might be coming back online, but the reality was different. She couldn’t handle the humiliation of a panic attack if they tried for more, and it triggered a flashback.
Her stomach swooped.
This was a terrible idea. She opened her mouth to call the entire thing off when Liv slid her arm through Kelsie’s.
“Spec will meet us outside.” She pulled Kelsie out the door into the warm night air, then stopped on the porch. “Look, we are a loud bunch, and we get carried away easily, but we mean well and love you lots. There is no pressure here. You can return to your room, and none of us will think any less of you. There is no pressure to do anything.”
She almost took the out. It would have been easier to run back to her room and hide away until the nerves passed and returned to her comfort zone.
But the more time she spent with the Handlers, the more she wanted what so many of them had.
A true partner.
Someone who loved her and she could love with her heart and body. That probably wasn’t going to be Ty. He’d made it clear he didn’t view her in that way, but she knew for certain he at least found her attractive. She’d felt the evidence when she’d climbed on him.
Most importantly, she trusted he wouldn’t hurt her and would stop if she asked.
So, even if she humiliated herself, maybe she needed to take this first step if she ever wanted to find something special like Liv and Spec had.
“No,” she said, straightening her shoulders. “I need to do this. For me.”
Liv squeezed her arm in a hug. “Proud of you. You’re one tough chick.”
“Doesn’t always feel like it.” Especially not when her insides were swirling like a summer storm.
“And yet you’re still pushing through. Strength.” Liv smiled, and Kelsie couldn’t help but return it.
Fifteen minutes later, Spec rolled his truck to a stop outside Ty’s house.
Kelsie sat frozen next to Liv, unable to open the door as she stared at the little house Ty kept so well-manicured.
“Hon,” Liv said in a soft voice that still made her jump.
“Sorry. I’m just…”
A smooth hand squeezed hers. “No worries. Our situations are different, but I understand fear and trauma.”
Kelsie turned her head to meet Liv’s gaze. Spec stayed quiet, letting his ol’ lady have the floor. “How did you get over it?”
“I wouldn’t say I’m over it. I don’t know if you ever get over it completely. But each day gets a little easier and a little brighter. Time helped, and my chosen family really made the difference.” She smiled at her ol’ man. “But mostly this guy.” She leaned back against Spec, who turned her way and wound an arm around her as he kissed her neck.
That. Kelsie wanted that so badly, and she’d never get it if she didn’t take this first step.
She gripped Liv’s hand in return. “Thank you for the pep talk.”
“Any time, sweetie.”
“He’s sitting outside in his backyard,” Spec said as he gazed at Ty’s quiet house.
Liv tilted her head up and frowned at her ol’ man. “How do you know?”
“Lights are on out back. He never leaves them on unless he’s out there.”
Kelsie faced the house. “Thanks.” If she knocked and he didn’t answer because he was in the backyard, she’d have probably left.
And cried.
“Here goes nothing,” she whispered as she opened the door and slid down from Spec’s tall truck.
“Give ’im hell,” Spec said while Liv just grinned.
Her pulse fluttered in her neck, making her lightheaded and almost giddy with nerves and anticipation. The second she slammed the truck’s door shut, Spec pulled away. Now, she couldn’t hop back in and chicken out.
She tried not to let her gait show how wobbly her legs felt as she walked around the well-lit side of Ty’s house on the stone path. The gate creaked when she pushed it open, making her wince—so much for the element of surprise. She’d be lucky if he didn’t greet her with a gun like last time.
“Someone there?” Ty called as she shut the gate with another screech. The damn thing needed some oil STAT.
“Asked you a fucking question,” Ty yelled.
“Um, it’s me,” she hollered back. “Uh, Kelsie. Okay, if I come back?”
“Kelsie? Shit. Fuck. Yeah, I didn’t mean to shout at you. Come on back.”
She smiled, and his deep and confident voice washed over her. Though her nerves hadn’t dissipated, she relaxed a fraction. Being in his presence gave her a sense of safety she didn’t have in any other circumstance, and she loved it.
She rounded the back of his house and found him smoking on a round, cushioned daybed. He hadn’t bothered with a shirt and wore a pair of lightweight gray sweats on the bottom. A white stream of smoke danced upward from the end of his cigarette—nope, that was a joint.
Interesting.
“Everything okay?” he asked, sitting straight and on alert.
She drank in the sight of him shirtless and sexy as hell. After not seeing him for days, she couldn’t keep her gaze from raking over his body from top to bottom. Those tattoos, the muscles, God, he was the whole damn package. “You’re so tan,” she blurted.
He grinned, making him even more appealing. “I did a shit lot of surfing.”
Kelsie shivered. The sun-kissed tint looked damn good on him.
“You ever been surfing?” He brought the joint to his lips and inhaled.
Kelsie tracked the movement, noting the way his lips wrapped around it as he sucked.
Her nipples perked to attention.
“No, never.”
“I’ll have to teach you.”
“Yes!” The word came out so fast and loud that she winced. “I mean, yeah, that’d be nice.”
“What are you doing here?”
Ahh, what a question. One she probably should have planned an answer to before she arrived.
“Um, I haven’t seen you in days, and you ignored me tonight.”
Ugh, too needy.
Ty sighed. He took another drag of his joint and said, “Let me get rid of this, and we can talk.”
Shaking her head, she walked toward him. “Don’t. It doesn’t bother me.”
He huffed a laugh and then grunted. “You’re full of surprises tonight. Next, you’re gonna tell me you want to share.”
Her pulse fluttered in her throat. “Would you?” How hot would it be to wrap her lips around his joint and inhale the same smoke he’d been sucking on? She reached the edge of his lounge chair and held his gaze with as much confidence as she could portray.
“Kelsie…”
His tone held a warning, as though he was about to turn her down, but she wouldn’t accept that tonight. She’d come all this way and mustered the courage to show up and put herself out there. She couldn’t turn back now, even if her legs were primed and ready to flee.
If the sight of him lounging there looking a mix of bad boy and hero did anything, it confirmed how much she wanted him. She wanted his hands and his lips on her, all over. She wanted to be better and unafraid. She wanted to feel good, sexual, and desired.
And she wanted it all with Ty.
Now.
Her heart thudded so loud she wouldn’t have been able to hear him if he spoke. Part of her brain screamed a warning, telling her to turn and escape, but she fought it. She knew in her gut that Ty would not harm her. The only risk was humiliation if he rejected her or if she panicked, but she would never move forward in life if she didn’t try.
So, she forced herself to continue even though her chest was too tight to breathe. She lifted one leg and placed her knee on the lounger outside Ty’s ankle, then did the same with the other. She now straddled his lower legs.
He sucked in a harsh breath. “What are you doing?” he croaked.
“Share with me.” She knee-walked up his legs until she straddled his thighs.
“Kelsie…” His agonized voice sounded like a plea for mercy.
But there’d be no grace from her tonight.
She lowered herself onto his thighs.
Ty stared up at the night sky with a groan. “Jesus Christ,” he whispered as though praying for salvation.
After a moment, he seemed to gather his strength, and he met her gaze. “Sweetheart,” he said, voice rough. “I’m not giving you my joint.”
A grin spread across her face. “I’m not asking for your joint. I’m asking for you to share with me.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“Yes, Ty,” she whispered. “I do.” Hopefully, that sounded as sure to him as she meant it to.
He stared at her, indecision warring in his gaze. The quiet lasted so long that she was sure a kindly-worded but firm rejection was imminent. But then, as though in slow motion, he lifted the joint to his mouth.
She stared, transfixed, as he parted his lips to make room for the blunt. As his mouth closed around it, her body throbbed in anticipation.
The sizzle of burning herb and paper was the only sound in the quiet night. The pungent fragrance of the weed tickled her nostrils. His intense gaze stayed locked with hers as he inhaled a long, deep breath.
He lowered the joint.
Kelsie stared at his mouth for a beat, then opened her own as she leaned in, stopping when their lips were so close that nothing but a whiff of air could fit between them.
He breathed out, passing the smoke to her.
Kelsie inhaled his breath.
The unique flavor filled her senses as she drew it into her lungs. It was earthy with a note of sweetness that could have only come from Ty. She shut her eyes and closed her mouth, letting the sensation wash over her, trapping the smoke in her lungs.
When she finally opened her eyes and let the lingering smoke slip from between her lips, she found Ty only a few inches away.
The intensity in his gaze had her gasping as a wave of need rippled through her. No matter what he said next, his eyes told the truth.
They were bright with white-hot lust and consuming desire.
Kelsie said the only thing she could have in that moment.
“Again.”