Chapter Thirteen
Ulysses
“You’re not kicking me out?” I yawned from the comfort of Finn’s embrace.
Sushi dinner—with very few answers—had led back to Finn’s place where, again, we’d fucked like gay rabbits.
This time, in our post-coital bliss, I had my head on his chest and I was curled around him. Awkward was the word I’d use. I should’ve been comforting him. He’d admitted he knew David.
“I’m too tired to kick you out.”
“Do you want me to go?”
His grip tightened on me. “Only if you want to.”
Progress.
“I’m comfortable.”
“Then stay.” He said the words on a yawn.
Better catch him before he falls asleep. “So did you know the kid who ODed?”
“David? Yeah. He played basketball in the rec league I run. I’ve known him for about a year. I didn’t know he was doing drugs, though. Don’t bother to ask about that.”
“Someone has to know something, though, don’t you think? I mean, unless that was his very first time—”
“It might’ve been. Hell, they haven’t formally said he died from an OD.” He sighed. “He likely did, though. And that’s just shit.”
“I agree. But wouldn’t it be better to know what’s going on so you can prevent it from happening again?”
He snorted. “You’re assuming I have any sway over these kids. News alert—I don’t. They’ll do whatever they want and I have little say in the matter.”
“But they look up to you, right? Admire you?”
“That’s possible. But David didn’t trust me enough to come to me with whatever he was facing.”
I winced—even though he couldn’t see. “Look, I'm not here tonight to write a story about the kid. His life is a tragedy—and yes, reporting on it might stop another kid ODing. But what I really want to know about is where he got the drugs.”
“Why?” Finn gripped me a little tighter.
I considered. “That’s the bigger story. But also, I like investigating crime. I report it, then hand everything over to the police.”
“That sounds simplistic. Shouldn’t the cops be investigating?”
“I’m sure they do. But they’ve got dozens of crimes. I’m focusing on just one.” I stroked his chiseled abs. “So tell me about David?”
He sighed. “Good kid. Good grades. Natural aptitude on the basketball court. He was planning to try out for the school team next year. He was on the short side. He was good, for certain. He’d hold back, though, with the other rec kids.
He never showed off. More often, he was willing to help them.
Almost acted like my assistant coach. Which is why him doing drugs makes no sense. ”
“Do drugs ever really make sense? I read the autobiography of this really successful business guy in Vancouver. Top of the world. His company was doing great and he was happy. He started dating a woman from Seattle who coaxed him into trying crack. Why? He was never able to articulate that. But his entire life changed on a dime. He spent the next few years down the addiction rabbit hole. He’d do whatever it took to chase that high again.
It affected his work, it impacted his relationship with his children, and he blew through all the money he had. ”
“Jesus. He survived to write about it?”
“I can get you a copy of the book. It’s a damn fascinating read.” I pressed my hand to Finn’s sternum. “The guy hit rock bottom. For some people, that’s death. For him, he’d lost everything and had ceased to function at work. He went to a friend and confessed everything.”
“Please tell me the friend was understanding.”
“Yep. We should all have such good friends. He got the executive into rehab and the guy hasn’t touched drugs since.
But it’s not usually that easy. He found reasons to put his life back together—but it had to be for himself as much as for other people.
Eventually, he repaired his relationship with his daughter.
And he’s gone on to be successful again.
But he can’t get those years back.” I ran my fingers lightly across Finn’s abdomen.
“I don’t understand that kind of high. And I’d never risk finding out.
Some people are more prone to addiction, and maybe he was one of them. ”
Finn ran his hand across my scalp. “You don’t have any burning obsessions?”
I stilled. The words were on the tip of my tongue. Here, in this quiet space, I could reveal all.
And yet I didn’t.
“Work is a bit of an obsession. Hence me wanting to know about David. Hence me attending the fires and trying to find answers. Or me going to the animal shelter to find out if they’re involved in anything illicit.”
“Ah.” He sighed. “That’s a lot of juggling. You can forget the shelter, though.”
“I’m good at splitting my focus. And Spring’s got a few things she’s working on as well.”
“Spring’s a very bright woman.”
“She seems to be on par for the Dixons.” I smiled and pressed a kiss to Finn’s chest. “I like strong and brilliant women.”
“You’re bi?” He caressed my cheek.
“Not even a little bit.”
“Ah.”
“You?”
“I’ve dated a few women. Strong preference for men, though. Especially sexy older men who ask way too damn many questions.”
I laughed. “Oh really.”
“Yes, oh really. You intrigue me, Ulysses. I want to know everything about you, and yet you hold yourself apart. You have secrets.”
I swallowed. Hard. “Everyone has secrets, Finn. Everyone. Even you.”
“Nope. My life is an open book.”
I considered my next words carefully. “We’ve all done something in the past that we regret. Someone we hurt, something we did—inadvertently or advertently—that did real damage. A careless word. Even an ungracious thought. It’s there for everyone, Finn. It’s part of being human.”
A long silence followed.
Eventually, Finn said, “I…I don’t know about that. I really do try to live my beliefs. I suppose I’ve had uncharitable thoughts on occasion. Impure ones as well.” He pulled me tighter. “Like all the things I want to do with you.”
I angled my head up so I could gaze into those gorgeous dark-blue eyes. “And? Care to be precise?”
“Eating your ass? Fucking you into oblivion?”
“I didn’t realize you wanted to top me.”
And I’m not sure how I feel about that.
Finn laughed. “I pretty much want to top every guy I’m with—as well as bottoming on a regular basis. I just happen to love everything about sex.”
“Okay. You haven’t shown me that side.”
“We’ve had sex almost every time we’ve gotten together.”
“Because you won’t answer my questions if I don’t sleep with you. That sort of sounds like…extortion?”
He chuckled. “Only you would see it that way.”
“How do you see it?”
“As a way of us both getting what we want. You’re always free to say no. But for an old guy, you definitely have more stamina than I’d expected.”
I pushed off him. “Old guy? Old guy?”
He grinned impishly. “Forty is close to over the hill.”
“Twenty-seven isn’t a young pup. How old is your mother?”
“Forty-nine. Why?”
“Is she over the hill?”
“Of course not. She still does long shifts as a nurse. She still contributes.” He appeared to consider. “You know, you’re closer in age to my mother than you are to me.”
“Oh Jesus.” That hit. Hard. “Am I robbing the cradle?”
He chuckled. “Oh hardly. If you are, I’m choosing to be stolen.” He coaxed me closer. “Can I show you how young you actually are?”
I cocked an eyebrow. “And how, precisely, do you plan to do that?”
“Well, we’ll start by eating you out, and then I see myself fucking you into—”
I launched myself toward his head. I grasped his cheeks and sealed our mouths together.
Yeah, I’m game for this.
And so I was.
He edged me as he fucked me into oblivion—after having eaten me out.
In the morning, with great regrets, I had to leave. I gave him a blow job before I headed out.
Only later did I realize how few questions he’d actually answered.