CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN #2
Tom’s eyes narrowed and Raina turned to see what he saw.
It was Ottie, returning to the buzz of the party with a feverish look in her eye and a slightly chaotic gait.
She glared at both Raina and Tom before returning to the bar.
Raina glanced around for Seb, locating him by a pillar, with an entirely different woman to the one from before.
They were leaning in close to hear each other speak.
There was an electricity in the air that made Raina nervous.
‘Dance with me.’
The words jolted Raina back into the moment. ‘I don’t like dancing, remember?’
‘Let me hold you and sway then.’
She laughed and relented, following him to the middle of the room. They found a square on the vast marble floor and stood as they had at the Hathaway Dinner. Only this time, they had their own private history. One they’d forged.
‘Is this the dress you’re wearing to the Mondays?’ asked Tom as they danced.
‘Oh, no, that one is quite something. You’ll see.’
‘I can’t wait to take it off you, whatever it looks like.’
Raina laughed against his mouth as he bent down to kiss her. She was excited for the awards show, now only a few days away. She was allowing herself the luxury of anticipation.
As Tom whispered sweet promises in her ear and kissed her neck, she spotted Ottie. She stood by the end of the bar, staring at them with cold detachment. It sent a chill through Raina and instinctively made her want to pull free of Tom’s arms and run.
‘Everything all right?’ Tom asked. He must have felt her body tense.
‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ she said, hearing the restlessness in her own voice.
She wondered if she should tell him about his friends.
He would surely hear some version of it eventually.
But her past kept her quiet. Whenever one of Matt’s friends had done something awful to her, he’d told her she was being too sensitive.
She knew Tom wouldn’t be that way, but she was still resolutely committed to staying out of their business.
As she’d said to Ottie, she would never make him choose.
She wished they were back in the snug. She wished they’d never been disturbed.
As if reading her mind, Tom bent to speak low in her ear. ‘I want to take you home now. Just us. I want to take you to bed and make you come, and then we’ll order something. And talking to you about nothing will be more interesting than talking to every other person in this room about something.’
Raina smiled and pressed her cheek to his shoulder. ‘Not your place?’
‘It’s not a home; it’s just a den. I’m going to sell it and buy somewhere for us. Where do you want to live, Raina? I’ll find us somewhere beautiful.’
She lifted her head to stare at him. ‘You’d do that for me?’
‘Of course,’ he said, looking down at her as they swayed. As if it were the most natural thing in the world. As if he were offering to pick up some milk. ‘I’d do anything for you.’
Raina felt the full force of his feelings, as well as her own, and it overwhelmed her. She could still feel Ottie’s cold eyes on them, so as the music slowly faded out and the DJ moved to take a ten-minute break, she said, ‘Can we go to the garden? Bit of a sensory overload in here.’
‘Of course.’
As he turned to escort her out, another guest quite accidentally bumped into a waiter. The brief collision sent an entire tray of champagne glasses tumbling to the floor. The sound of the crystal breaking and the spatter of liquid made Raina jump and the entire room fell silent.
For a moment, there was only the sound of the waiter apologizing profusely. Tom was starting to bend down to help clear some of the broken shards when a voice spoke.
‘Raina can clean it up.’
The words caused both Tom and the waiter to stop, and for everyone, Raina included, to turn towards the bar. Ottie Langham had spoken the words with piercing projection and ice-cold clarity. As if venom and pain had sobered her up and left her ready to burn everything down.
‘What did you just say?’ Tom asked, his voice harsher than Raina had ever heard it before.
‘I said . . .’ Ottie stepped forward, fired up by the silent room and the rapt attention of its occupants. ‘Raina can clean it up.’
Raina swallowed. She could feel hundreds of people watching her.
She felt their confusion. Or perhaps that was just her.
Maybe the feeling was so intense it was filling every part of her.
She glanced at the crowd around her but she couldn’t read their expressions.
It reminded her of being assessed and shown picture cards of different faces.
She hadn’t known how to describe what they were emoting.
It felt like that now. She felt the A on her forehead, for all to see.
‘Ottie.’ Tom addressed his friend once more, and his voice was low and chilling. ‘You must be out of your mind. To say something like that.’
‘Did you know that about your little work project?’ Ottie asked loudly, her voice carrying well throughout the room. ‘That she used to be a cleaner? Used to scrub other people’s dirt?’
Seb started to make his way towards his fiancée. When he tried to whisper in her ear, she shoved him away.
‘That’s what she is though, right, Tom? Your work project?’
‘No,’ Raina corrected her.
‘No,’ Tom echoed. ‘And we’re leaving. You don’t get to speak to her like that.’
‘I’m not his work project,’ Raina said, as Tom caught her hand in his.
‘Oh, yes, you are,’ Ottie shot back. ‘I’ve seen the writing on the wall. Literally. He has this huge board—’
‘Enough,’ snapped Tom, pulling at Raina’s hand. ‘Let’s go. She’s drunk.’
‘Her mother is a drunk, not me. An alcoholic. That’s on his board. That true, Raina? Does your family like a drink? Because he’s planning to write about that. What else? Oh! Yes! Some lovely quotes, too.’
‘Oh, God,’ Solana gasped.
‘Shut your poisonous mouth, Ottie,’ Pepper barked, appearing behind Raina. ‘Or I’ll fucking shut it for you.’
Ottie whipped her smartphone out of her bedazzled clutch and swiped through some photographs.
Raina was as lifeless and as still as some of the marble statues adorning the perimeter of the room.
She could barely think, let alone react.
This felt like the most painful assault, both physically and psychologically.
They were all just standing there. Staring at her like she was some sort of creature.
‘Here,’ Ottie said, flashing a picture on her phone screen. She zoomed in and started to read, ‘I think it’s gross hearing disabled people talking about sex, sorry. I just do. Wow, Tom. Also, something about your hair being too long. Something about you being boring.’
‘This is really mean,’ Solana said, looking ten years younger as she stared at her sister in dismay.
‘Ottie, that’s bullshit. I don’t think those things,’ barked Tom. He turned to Raina, his face softening and his eyes imploring her. ‘I don’t. I never have. You know that. They’re . . . I never . . . She’s distorting everything.’
Raina finally felt her body move, though her mind was still lost somewhere else. ‘Distorting what? So, it’s true?’
‘No, Raina. I mean, the board exists. But she’s taking it out of context.’
Raina staggered backwards, staring at him in distress and revulsion. ‘Taking what out of context? You wrote those things?’
‘No, they’re quotes. And they’re private. Let me explain; let’s go somewhere. Please, sweetheart.’
‘I don’t think so,’ Pepper said, suddenly blocking Raina’s view of Tom as she stared him down in a fury. ‘I think you’ve said quite enough.’
‘I feel ill,’ Raina whispered, no longer able to see people’s faces. She was finding it difficult to take a breath and her vision was blurring. Her hands were shaking, and sound was becoming a warbled pain in both ears. ‘I-I need help.’
The three words she hated more than anything. The three words you were always told to say, but no one ever really wanted to hear.
‘Raina.’ Tom dodged by Pepper and tried to hold her, his voice vibrating with worry. ‘I’m here, I’ve got you.’
‘No, I have got her,’ snarled Pepper, pulling Raina from him. ‘You and your disgusting friends can leave. Quickly. Before I set that dog on you.’
The Great Dane in question looked too soft to chase away a butterfly, but Pepper was quivering with rage and clearly not to be trifled with, so a few people shifted their positions, obviously concerned that some kind of skirmish might happen.
‘I just thought you should know, babe,’ bellowed Ottie, leaning around Seb to speak directly to Raina. ‘I’m a girl’s girl. I would hate for you to think he’s following you around because he actually likes you.’
‘You’re twisted,’ Tom shouted back at her. Then to Raina, with agonizing softness, ‘I know it sounds awful, but she’s being dishonest. She broke into my room to find it; I didn’t know she had pictures. I don’t just like you, Raina. I love you. More than anything. I’m in love with you, Raina.’
‘Don’t,’ Raina said, pushing away from him. ‘Don’t say that to me.’
‘But it’s true! It’s been true for months!’
‘You let her come to your flat,’ Raina said stiffly. ‘When you’ve never let me.’
‘She and Seb showed up! To give me the invite for tonight. Everything on that board is private. It’s work. It’s research. None of it’s what I think or feel – they’re observations and quotes.’
‘Tom, stop,’ Raina said, pressing a hand into her stomach as it twisted and ached. She was so aware of everyone watching them. ‘Please. This is all so—’
‘It was private. I might write something someday, yes, but it’s nothing like she’s making it sound. It’s not about you, I swear, sweetheart. It’s—’
‘Pepper, I need air,’ Raina said, clamouring for her friend, who was there in an instant.
‘I know, sweets, let me get you into the garden,’ Pepper said soothingly, her gentle voice at odds with the way she smacked Tom’s arm away from Raina’s body.
‘Raina, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. This has all been twisted and misrepresented.’