Chapter 40 #2
A chef in a red bandana was cooking meat and singing along to “Livin’ la Vida Loca” that was playing on the portable speaker.
Two servers were doing a salsa routine while weaving between stations, their feet never missing a beat.
The dishwashers behind a mountain of plates were betting on who could stack the highest. No one batted an eye at the couple sloppily making out near the freezer without any care about workplace propriety.
Four men were gambling with a card game and hurling insults at each other.
The sophisticated gala in the ballroom was less than fifty feet away, but it may as well have been another universe. I doubt anyone here would murder their sister for her inheritance or manipulate their fiancée with lies and deception.
It wasn’t until the chef noticed my fancy dress that he dropped his spatula with a clatter.
A horrified expression crossed his face, not having expected guests to wander into their haven.
The music screeched to an abrupt halt. Everyone froze in place, as if they had been caught with their hand inside the cookie jar.
Jace grinned, stepped up to the counter, and grabbed a plastic cup. “Relax, guys. Rose is cool,” he announced. “She’s the stowaway.”
That was all it took for the kitchen to accept me as one of their own. They knew if I snuck into this boat, I didn’t have the means to fuck with their livelihoods like the rest of the guests. I was one of them.
“Stowaway?” the chef asked sarcastically, giving my expensive jewelry a once-over. “She looks like royalty.”
The room burst into an off-key chorus of “Your Majesty!” with exaggerated bows. “Welcome, Your Grace.”
I giggled as the music returned to its original volume, and the couple against the freezer returned to dry humping each other.
The lively kitchen was like an underground rave filled with vulgarity.
There seemed to be an understanding that allowed the staff to party without any service interruption to the gala.
One group would transport food and drinks to the ballroom.
As soon as they returned, they participated in the shenanigans with a break, while another group swapped places to work the front.
It was ingenious and exactly the escape I needed, seeing that a real escape was out of my reach.
“Shots?” Jace asked, pulling out a bottle of tequila. Before I could answer, he lined up a row of shot glasses. A bunch of people gathered around us at the sound of that word.
“What are we celebrating?” a petite blonde asked.
“Nothing,” Jace replied. “Rose had a shitty night, so everyone has to drink with her.”
“Aww, sorry to hear it, Rose.” The blonde squeezed me.
Another man placed a bulky hand on my shoulder. “Let’s drink till you forget.”
“We got you, girl.”
Everyone was at my side without so much as demanding an explanation. They were a ready-made family, and my heart warmed at the thought. I had stepped through a portal, where there were no judgmental eyes, calculated moves, or blindsided engagements.
Even as the thought crossed my mind, an image of Caden wrapping my bandages with OCD precision flashed brighter. Each fold had been perfectly aligned, not because he had the compulsive need for it, but because he thought the asymmetry might bother me.
He had twisted my mind into knots between his cruelty and tenderness.
It made me wonder whether I could actually follow through with leaving him.
If only I could understand the reasons for his cruelty, then I wouldn’t feel so conflicted.
Instead, I ping-ponged between wanting to get away and imagining a future with him.
I grabbed a shot and downed it.
Why couldn’t things be black and white? It would be so much easier if I just hated him.
Instead, I had loved him since the moment on that roof.
With a huge cheer, I took another shot with the group. Instead of the alcohol submerging through my brain, my mind was infiltrated with more images of Caden.
The lab he had repainted in my favorite color.
His new wardrobe that reflected my taste.
The way he gave in to my every whim.
I shook my head to dispel the thoughts.
“One more round,” said the chef, and I had no idea how he was pumping out the deep-fried risotto balls despite his fourth shot of tequila.
When he saw me salivating over the large pan, his eyes twinkled. He set me up with a plate, but only if I took another shot with him.
I tossed back the tequila and felt pleasantly giddy.
“You gamble?” one of the busboys asked me, nudging me toward the card table. Two kitchen staffers were shuffling a deck at lightning speed.
With a smile, I shook my head.
“How about a dance instead?” Jace pulled me to the middle of the kitchen. Others followed us, throwing their heads and hips back with the type of dancing the guests in the ballroom would have been horrified by.
My dancing was clumsy as Jace twirled me around, and we laughed out loud. Dancing with another man was a part of the rebellious streak against Caden’s high-handed ways. There was only one problem.
No amount of sloppy dancing and nonjudgmental eyes could replace Caden’s warmth. The hands touching me didn’t light up the sky with fireworks. The hot breath on my neck didn’t elicit a moan. If I believed in magic, I would think Caden had put a spell on me.
Jace smiled at me kindly. “I’m guessing this is more your scene than that ballroom.”
Being in Caden’s arms was my scene. I sighed, realizing freedom kind of sucked without him. While I was unsure whether I could live with him, I was completely positive that I could never live without him.
Jace stopped dancing. “You look sad, Rose. Too sad for someone who just got engaged.”
I stilled.
He laughed. “Don’t look so surprised. I was working the floor when Dr. Maxwell practically announced your engagement to the world. Shouldn’t you be celebrating with your fiancé instead of hiding out in the kitchen?”
I sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“I have got time.”
Jace seemed to be one of those people who had a way of deflecting intensity, like an energy-efficient lamp for bad moods. It was impossible to look at his puppy dog eyes and not want to pour your soul out.
And that was precisely what I did. The alcohol had loosened my tongue, and I spilled my guts. I left out some details that might get Caden into trouble.
We had a toxic relationship, and I ended things with him.
I lost my memories, and he took advantage of it.
I had been hopelessly in love with him since I was eleven, though I left out the part where I mistook him for his twin.
My memories had returned, only to realize that I both loved and hated the man.
After my verbal diarrhea, I tentatively asked, “Got any advice for me?”
“No.” Jace’s brow furrowed as he studied me. “But I do have a question.”
“Only one?” I was surprised, having expected an interrogation after everything I had revealed about his elusive boss.
“Yes. But when I ask you the question, you can’t think about it. Just say the first thing that pops out of your mouth.”
“Okay.”
“When were you happier—then or now?”
“Now.” The answer was immediate and reflexive.
His lips curved into a knowing smile. “Sounds like you know what you want.”