Chapter 14 #2
Jamael regarded me thoughtfully. “So when you think about the duke, you see that tricky balance?”
“Exactly,” I nodded. “Everything has stakes here. I can’t dip into something that could mess up my focus on Casey.”
“But what if you allowed yourself to feel those emotions temporarily?” Jamael suggested. “What if you could acknowledge them without losing sight of your duties?”
I frowned, wrestling with it. “Best case? Just a fling. Worst case? Heartbreak and distraction, which would ruin everything.”
“Those are valid concerns,” he acknowledged. “But you also need to consider your well-being.”
“Seems a little selfish to worry about myself when Casey's counting on me,” I replied quietly.
“It's not selfish. It’s human,” he reminded me. “You have to be whole to support him through his recovery.”
I sighed, feeling every point he made hit home. “I get that. But it feels like too much right now.”
“Remember that feelings are temporary,” Jamael said, offering reassurance. “They evolve, change. What feels intense now may shift later.”
“I hope so,” I said. “Because right now, it feels really intense.”
“As you process these feelings, don’t forget self-care: rest, nutrition, moments to connect with yourself beyond this role,” he encouraged.
“I'll try,” I promised, rising from the chair. “Thanks again for listening.”
“Anytime,” Jamael replied as I stood. “That’s what I’m here for.”
I left Dr. Winters' office feeling a little lighter but still weighed down by the complex issues tying my professional and personal worlds together. The conversation helped clear some of the fog, but the reality? It remained unchanged. Ricard would leave, and I’d stay.
That was the deal we signed, no matter how much I wished it were different.
As I walked through the wellness center, my gaze drifted to the large clock mounted on the wall near the exit: 9:42 PM. Which meant… Casey would still be up.
The realization hit me like a lightning bolt. I hadn’t spoken to my brother since I got here, and I needed to hear his voice. Something real and grounding amid all the insanity.
Before I could think too much about it, I changed direction, heading toward the main building.
My feet moved with newfound purpose, carrying me through the elegant corridors of Dove Canyon Ranch.
Even at this hour, the place hummed with activity—staff buzzing about their duties, clients relishing the ambiance.
I kept my eyes forward, not wanting to catch anyone’s attention. After my Dark Room session and the heavy chat with Jamael, I felt raw. The last thing I needed was to get pulled into another interaction.
The main building’s reception area was quieter than during the day but still staffed. A guy I recognized from orientation, Marcus, sat behind the polished wooden desk, deep in work. He looked up as I approached, a professional smile crossing his face. “Good evening. How can I help you?”
I cleared my throat, feeling like a kid asking for a favor. “I was hoping to make a phone call. To my brother, in California.”
His expression changed, more cautious now. “Let me see if that’s possible.”
He turned to his computer, typing quickly. “Bennett, right? Theo?”
“That's right.”
More typing followed, a series of clicks and beeps. The monitor's glow reflected in his glasses. “You haven't scheduled communication in advance. According to protocol, all external contact requires 24-hour notice and approval from a supervisor.”
I sighed. “No, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I just finished with a client and was thinking about my brother, and… I’d really appreciate it if there's any way to arrange it.”
Marcus studied me for a moment, his eyes softening a bit. “Let me make a call.”
He picked up a phone and dialed, turning away from me as he spoke. I couldn’t catch what he was saying but caught phrases like “first-time request” and “family situation.” After an eternity, he hung up and turned back. “Vincent has approved a ten-minute call. Follow me, please.”
Relief washed over me.
As I walked behind him down a short hallway lined with offices, he stopped at one of them, using a keycard to unlock the door.
“This is one of our communication rooms. I should mention that all external communications are monitored and recorded for security purposes, though your privacy will be respected to the extent possible.”
I nodded, understanding what that meant. Still, it made sense.
The room was small but cozy, with a simple desk, a comfy chair, and a standard landline telephone. No windows, I noticed, probably soundproofed. Marcus gestured for me to take a seat. “I’ll need the number you wish to call.”
I gave him Casey's number at the nursing facility, watching as he made a note of it. “I’ll place the call for you and connect you once it goes through. Remember, ten minutes maximum, and please refrain from discussing your job or location.”
“I understand,” I said, heart racing with anticipation.
The phone on the desk rang, and my pulse surged. I picked it up. “Hello?”
“Mr. Bennett, I have your call connected. Please remember your time limit,” Marcus said.
“Thanks,” I replied, trying to calm my jittery nerves.
There was a click, followed by the sound of a different line ringing. Once, twice, three times. Just as worry began to creep in, there was a click. “Thousand Oaks Skilled Nursing Unit.”
“Hi, this is Theo Bennett,” I said, breathless. “Casey Bennett's brother. I was hoping I could speak with him if he's available?”
“Theo! Yes, of course.” Her tone instantly warmed. “He’s been asking about you. Let me check if he’s still awake.”
“Thanks,” I said, relief flooding through me. Hearing a familiar voice would ground me amid the chaos.
There was a brief silence as she presumably went to check on Casey. I used the moment to take a deep breath, centering myself.
More shuffling sounds, and then, “Theo? Is that you?”
Casey's voice hit me like a wave, a rush of emotions sweeping over me—joy, guilt, fierce love. “Hey, buddy,” I managed, my voice catching a bit.
“I'm good! Miss you. When are you coming home? Did you catch any big fish today?” The questions tumbled out in quick succession, a pattern I recognized from his therapy, the language exercises they'd been working on.
I smiled, despite the pang in my chest. “No fishing today,” I said, sticking to the cover story. “Had some training. Learning about different kinds of boats.”
“Boring,” Casey declared. I could almost picture him making that face, his nose scrunched up just right like he always did. “Fishing is better.”
“Yeah, it really is,” I agreed, playing along. “How's therapy going? You being good for Dr. Martinez?”
“I'm good,” he insisted, his stubbornness peeking through. “Did all my exercises. Made progress.”
Pride swelled in my chest. “That's awesome, Casey. I’m really proud of you.”
“When are you coming home?” he asked again, circling back to the question that tugged at my heartstrings.
“Soon,” I promised, hating how vague it felt. “I need to work a little longer, make some money. But I'm thinking about you all the time.”
“Florida is far,” Casey pointed out, his tone a mix of facts and mild complaint.
“I know, buddy. I’m sorry. But I’ll be back before you know it, and I’ll bring you something cool. Maybe a shark tooth.”
This piqued his interest. “A real shark tooth? From a real shark?” His voice shot up with excitement, the pitch higher than I remembered before the accident.
“Absolutely,” I promised, grateful for his enthusiasm. “The biggest one I can find.”
Casey laughed, and I could almost feel the weight lifting off my chest. “Theo the shark hunter!”
“That’s right!” I laughed too, relishing this moment.
There was some muffled commotion in the background, and then Casey said, “Sofia says it’s time for meds and bed. Have to go now.”
“That's okay,” I said quickly. Time was slipping away. “You take your meds and get some sleep. I’ll talk to you again soon.”
There was a rustle, then Sofia came on. “Theo? Casey needs to head to bed now. Thanks for calling. He asks about you like every single day.”
The guilt twisted hard in my gut. “I’m sorry it took so long. The job… it’s been pretty intense.”
“I understand,” she said. “Just so you know, he’s doing really well. Making good progress.”
“That’s great to hear,” I replied, noting the sense of relief flooding through me. “Thank you for taking such good care of him.”
“Of course,” she replied warmly. “He’s a special guy. Everyone here loves him. Take care of yourself, Theo.”
“You too,” I said before the line went dead.
Sitting there in silence for a moment, holding the receiver, I felt comforted but devastated by the conversation.
Hearing Casey's voice was what I needed, but now I felt acutely aware of the reality of our situation.
His recovery was long and uncertain. There were no shortcuts.
The slight slurring of his words, the childlike persistence, the memory gaps—all of it hammered home just how far he still had to go. And I wasn't even there beside him.
Just the path I was on now.
A knock at the door startled me from my thoughts. “Mr. Bennett? Your time is up.”
Marcus's voice was gentle but firm.
I replaced the receiver and stood, pulling myself together before opening the door.
My legs felt strangely unsteady, and I had to take a deep breath to center myself, squaring my shoulders and forcing my expression into something resembling composure.
“Thank you for arranging that,” I said. “It really meant a lot.”
Marcus’s expression softened. “I hope your brother is doing well?”
“He is,” I said, managing a small smile. “Better than expected.”
He nodded. “That’s wonderful to hear. If you'd like to schedule regular calls moving forward, we can set that up. Once a week is standard for companions with family obligations.”
The offer caught me off guard. “Really? That would be great. Thank you.”
“Of course. Just let me know the day and time, and I’ll get it set in the system.” He led me back to the reception area. “Is there anything else you need this evening?”
I shook my head, already mentally planning when to call Casey next. “No, that's all. Thanks again.”
As I headed back to the companions' quarters, all these emotions were colliding inside me.
Missing Casey like crazy, feeling like garbage about lying to him, and this hardcore need to make sure all this was worth it.
Plus this weird ache that had zero to do with my brother and everything to do with a certain blue-blooded European who wouldn't get out of my head.
Ricard's face floated into my mind—his intense eyes, the way his expression softened when he looked at me, the vulnerability he revealed when talking about family burdens.
The memory of his body against mine in the Dark Room just hours ago, how quickly everything else had faded away when we recognized each other.
I pushed the thought away. Dr. Winters was right. What Ricard and I had, whatever it was, existed in a bubble, a fantasy world designed for connection without the messy reality. It didn’t matter.
The night air was warm against my skin, crickets buzzing in the background. In another world, I might've found it romantic, a perfect setting for a vacation fling. Instead, I saw it for what it really was: a gilded cage containing and controlling, offering the illusion of freedom.
By the time I reached the companions' quarters, I had regained my equilibrium. Talking to Casey had reminded me why I was here. Tomorrow, I’d enjoy my day off, rest as Jamael suggested.
To regroup. When I returned to duty, I’d keep things professional with Ricard for however long his stay lasted.
I’d give him the service he paid for, protecting my heart while I was at it.
As I entered my room, I caught sight of the framed photo of Casey and me on my nightstand. In it, we were standing by a lake, arms slung around each other's shoulders, grinning like fools at the camera. It had been taken just before the accident, a rare moment of happiness.
I picked up the frame, running my thumb over Casey’s face. “I’m gonna fix this,” I whispered to the photograph, my resolve strengthening. “Whatever it takes. I promise.”
If that meant sacrificing whatever might have been with Ricard, so be it. Some prices were worth paying.