Chapter 25
Ricard
He didn't look up, and that small gesture, that unwillingness to meet my eyes, sent a spike of pain through my chest. In the brief days of our separation, he seemed to have changed. His shoulders were held with a new tension, his posture more guarded than I remembered.
I reached out, unable to stop myself, and placed my finger beneath his chin, tilting his face up toward mine. The simple contact sent an electric current through me, a reminder of everything I'd been missing in the hollow days since walking away from him.
His eyes widened when they met mine, shock and something else, something vulnerable and wounded that made my breath catch, flashing across his features.
Those expressive eyes that had haunted my dreams now searched mine with a guarded hope that was painful to witness.
For a moment, we stared at each other, the distant sounds of laughter and music from the main plaza floating on the air.
“Ricard?”
“Hello, Theo.” I stepped back, gesturing inside, struggling to maintain composure when confronted with the raw emotion in his eyes. “Would you come in? I'd like to talk to you.”
He hesitated, his gaze flickering between me and the interior of the villa. Then he nodded, a slight, almost imperceptible movement, and stepped past me into the room.
I closed the door behind him, watching as he moved to the center of the space and turned to face me, his posture shifting subtly.
The vulnerability I'd glimpsed moments before disappeared, replaced by the professional demeanor of a companion.
“As you wish, Your Grace.” His voice had changed too, taking on that smooth, practiced tone that I'd heard him use with other clients.
There was something else there as well. A hint of darkness, a shadow of sadness that tightened around my heart like a vise.
I crossed the room in three quick strides, reaching for his wrist before he could retreat further behind that professional mask.
“No,” I said, my voice sharper than I'd intended.
I softened my tone, gentling my grip on his wrist. “No, that's not what I want.
I don't want a companion. I want to talk to Theo, the man. My friend.” I swallowed hard, forcing myself to say the word that had been echoing in my mind since our parting. “My lover.”
He stiffened, his eyes meeting mine with a flash of defiance. “We've never been lovers, Your Grace. This was a business arrangement.”
The words struck me like a physical blow. I pulled him closer, not roughly, but with an urgency I couldn’t contain. “Do you really believe that? There’s something real between us, isn’t there?”
Finally, his eyes met mine. “What are you doing here, Ricard? I thought you were gone, back to your royal duties with your brother.”
“I was,” I admitted, needing space to collect my thoughts.
The villa's living room felt too small for the weight of my confession.
“I was sitting at breakfast with Remy this morning, listening to him outline how I would once again help salvage his reputation, when something shifted inside me. Something broke free.” I ran a hand through my hair, still marveling at the clarity of that moment.
“Perhaps it was your words that finally penetrated, about choosing my own path, about demanding my own happiness. Or perhaps it was simply that having experienced genuine connection with you, I could no longer accept the hollow substitute that has comprised my life until now.”
Pacing to the window, I looked out at the night sky without really seeing it.
“I've spent my whole life in his shadow, cleaning up his messes while he gets away with everything because he's charming and everyone loves him.
I've been the responsible one, the dutiful one, the one who sacrifices without complaint.
And what has it brought me? A life half-lived, emotions contained, desires never explored.
I turned back to Theo, who hadn't moved, who was watching me with an intensity that made my heart race.
“I'll do my duty to my family, of course, as I always have. But from now on, it will be on my terms.” My voice grew stronger with each word, conviction replacing uncertainty.
“If they can't accept me for who I am and who I love—” I crossed back to him, taking his hand in mine, feeling the warmth of his skin against my palm like an anchor to what truly mattered, “—then the monarchy can collapse around them for all I care.
For the first time in my life, I choose my own happiness. I choose you, Theo, if you'll have me.”
His eyes widened at that, his mask cracking further. I squeezed his hand, willing him to believe me. “You're worth a thousand thrones, Theo. More.”
He stared at me, speechless, and for a horrible moment I thought I'd miscalculated, that I'd read too much into our brief time together. The memory of our last argument hung between us, the cruel words we had both flung in anger.
Then his free hand came up to touch my face, his fingers trembling against my cheek. “You came back for me?”
I watched the emotions play across Theo's face—disbelief, hope, and then something darker settling in his features. His hand dropped from my face, creating a distance that felt like a chasm between us.
“You can't be serious,” he said, stepping back despite the obvious tension between us, that invisible thread that had connected us from our first meeting.
“You're a duke. I'm—” He gestured at himself, at the villa, at the entire resort surrounding us.
“I'm just some guy who couldn't even afford his brother's medical bills without selling himself. Your family would never accept me. Your people would laugh at you.”
His words struck me like physical blows. How could he not see what I saw when I looked at him? How could he reduce himself to mere circumstances when he was so much more? I reached for him again, unable to bear the distance he was creating.
“Do you think so little of yourself? Or of me?” I asked, feeling pain tighten my chest. “Do you think I care what anyone else thinks when it comes to what's in my heart?”
The vulnerability in his eyes nearly undid me. I wanted to gather him in my arms, to protect him from the doubt that was tearing at him, and at us.
“You should care,” he insisted. “This isn't a fairytale, Ricard. I don't magically transform into royalty when the clock strikes midnight. I'm always going to be the guy from the wrong side of the tracks who worked at a sex resort.”
“And I'm always going to be the man who met you here,” I said, letting the truth resonate between us. “The man who, for the first time in his life, felt truly seen by another person.”
I took a deep breath, studying the conflict playing across his features. The tension in his jaw, the uncertainty in his eyes. He was fighting the same battle I had fought on the flight back.
“Theo, I see two paths before me now.” I moved closer, relieved when he didn't retreat further.
“One leads back to Avaline, to court, perhaps eventually to the throne itself if Remy follows through with his threats to abdicate.
It's the path I've been groomed for since birth—duty, responsibility, appearances.”
I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling the weight of generations of expectations pressing down on me. “And in that life, I would have everything my title promises—wealth, power, respect. Everything except the one thing I've discovered matters most.”
My voice softened as I reached for his hand again. This time, he didn't pull away.
“The other path...” I swallowed hard, the reality of what I was proposing still new and terrifying even to me.
“The other path might mean walking away from it all.
Finding a quiet corner of the world where I'm just Ricard, not His Grace the Duke. Where I could wake up each morning next to someone who knows me, truly knows me, and loves me, anyway.”
Theo shook his head, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I can't be what ruins your life, Ricard. I won't be.”
The words hit me like a physical blow. I tightened my grip on his hand, afraid he would slip away.
“You'd be saving it, not ruining it,” I insisted.
“No.” His voice cracked. “One thing I know about you is how much pride you take in being the responsible one.
The one who fixes things, who keeps it all together.
I've seen how it shapes you.” He pulled his hand from mine.
“What happens when you throw that away for me?
When your family falls apart because you weren't there? When Avaline suffers because you chose a… a sex worker over your birthright?”
I flinched at the deliberate harshness in his voice.
“You'd grow to resent me,” he continued, wrapping his arms around himself. “Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually. Every time you saw news about your brother or your country, you'd remember what you gave up. What I made you give up.”
“That's not true,” I argued, desperation creeping into my voice. “I'm making this choice myself.”
“And it's the wrong one,” he whispered. “I can't be the reason you abandon everything that makes you who you are.”
I shook my head. “It's terrifying, stepping into that unknown. I've never lived without the weight of my title. I've never had to make my own way.” I squeezed his hand. “But I know which path I'd rather take a chance on, Theo. I'd rather have one real thing than a lifetime of gilded emptiness.”
I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what came next. “I'm asking you to take a chance on this... on us. To come with me, to stand by my side as I figure out what my future looks like now.”