Chapter 57
NOW
Paloma
He’s so perfect, brutally handsome. Raised to be exactly this, a suit-clad gladiator in some make-believe boardroom. Under the twinkling starlight, I watch as he nods and sips a glass of sparkling grape juice, talking with adults twice his age as if he’s the one with the power.
Bennett Reiner is gorgeous, strong and steady. Hair styled perfectly, suit pressed, no tie because he hates the way it feels around his neck. I’m not sure where he found a suit so expensive looking to fit his massive frame.
But he’s perfect.
He’s kind and careful, gentle with everyone.
He’s steady and unmoving, trustworthy. Someone I know I can lean on, and he’ll always, always hold me up.
Bennett Reiner has taken care of me when it yielded him nothing.
Carried me home from my worst nights, held me through nightmares, fought my demons without knowing who they were, the extent of the damage they did to me.
He chose me. He loves me.
And I’m just . . . this, forever. It only takes the small reminder to reignite the fear that I can’t have him, not really.
I might be beautiful, but it’s nothing more than this body. And being beautiful is the thing that’s hurt me most.
Bennett exits the conversation he’s engaged in, then eyes me and struts to my side without a moment’s pause, his hand gracing my hip so he can pull me completely into the shelter of his body.
“You okay?” he asks.
I open my mouth to reply, but pause because I spot someone first. Graying blond hair, slender build, severe all-seeing gaze.
My body flashes cold.
“Why is your ex-stepdad here?”
“Oh—I forgot,” Bennett says, sipping at the sparkling cider. “My mom decided to bring him as her date. I guess they’ve grown close again recently. She told me she thinks they’ll be getting remarried.” He presses a kiss to my temple and hugs me tighter. “The year of rekindling, huh?”
I practically swallow my tongue, tripping backward—except Bennett is holding me up. I don’t stumble.
My eyes trail Bennett’s open, gentle expression again, trying to memorize the way he looks now so I don’t forget it. Just in case. Despite every layer of growth I’ve had, I’m almost too ready to run.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” He leans down to kiss the shell of my ear and then press his nose to my hair. “We can leave whenever you want.”
I shake my head. “I’m fine.” The lie slips painfully from my mouth. “I’m going to get some water. Promise you’ll be right here when I get back?”
“I won’t move,” he vows.
My hand grabs for my purse off the back of my chair, reaching for my phone to call Alessia. Just for a pep talk. Or maybe a getaway car.
I start toward the other side of the grand ballroom and spot Anna Koteskiy with two young boys. She’s kneeling in her beautiful dress, fixing the tie on the younger one while the older of the boys surveys the room. He looks like a mini bodyguard.
Smiling lightly, I relax a little. Ethan will not scare me this time.
Things are different now. Look at Sadie and Rhys. You can have this life.
“You deserve better,” I mumble to myself under my breath, tucking my phone back into my clutch.
A shoulder bumps mine, followed by a quiet, “Excuse me,” from a taunting voice I know too well. Ethan Marks, shoving into me intentionally as he makes his way over to the bar, right toward the only solo patron there.
I do a double take, scanning over the girl anxiously twittering at the bar, where Ethan has just stepped up arguably too close to her.
God fucking dammit.
My weird little roommate, Lily.
She’s teetering on her too tall heels, but the girl barely reaches five feet.
She’s dressed in long white silk, stark against her pinkened pale skin.
The fabric clings softly to the thin shape of her, built more stick-straight and column-esque in contrast to my curves.
The only thing holding the fabric up is the halter tie around her delicate neck, trailing down her back a little unevenly, like she tied it herself.
But it leaves most of her pale back exposed, and just as she starts to falter on her heels again, Ethan moves his hand to the low pointed dip of her dress.
I’m moving before I can stop myself.
I can’t hear what he says, only that he’s laughing in that same condescending way.
“Is that right? Lovely girl—”
“Don’t talk to her.” I almost growl the words. My eyes lock on Lily and I pull her wrist so she stumbles in closer to me. “Lily, what are you doing?” I snap, a little gruffer than I mean to be with her.
“I just—I wanted to order a drink. But I don’t—”
Her eyes widen, welling a little, and my chest tightens. Still, I’m too anxious to apologize.
“She wants a sparkling rosé,” I order for her. The bartender nods, a look of relief flitting my way as he pours her drink into a tall, thin flute.
Lily beams at me, anxiety forgotten as she takes a drink of the bubbling pink liquid. “Thank you. I was looking for you. I didn’t know you were coming, but I’m so happy you’re here.” Her words are bright, eyes starry as she looks at me.
Ethan steps in closer, opening his mouth to speak, and my shoulders climb to my ears.
“Excuse me,” a deep timbre rumbles. A tall figure looms over Lily as Adam Reiner steps up next to Ethan, nearly casting the smaller man in shadow. My heart turns over in my chest, thumping hard and fast.
“Everything okay?” Adam asks.
“Fine. Good to see you, Adam,” Ethan grimaces, gulping down his drink. My body steps closer to Adam, a comfort in knowing Bennett’s dad won’t let anything happen.
“Girls,” Adam says, turning to where I’m half in front of Lily. “I think your dates are looking for you.”
He’s clearly rescuing us, but I take the out.
Pulling on my roommate’s hand, I smile politely at Adam and waltz backward away from them.
I eye Lily. “You brought a date?”
“Oh, um, yeah. My dad made me. He doesn’t like me very much.” The statement is said on a laugh, but her eyes wander away from my face, trailing to my cleavage in her usual way that makes me want to smirk.
“Where is he?”
“What?”
“Your date. Which one is he?”
She straightens, looking over her shoulder and tilting her head. A handsome, reedy man in a charcoal gray suit stands by one of the farther tables, chatting animatedly with Coach LaBlanc. The guy looks mid- to late twenties if I had to guess, which surprises me, but I don’t say anything.
She takes another sip of her sparkling rosé, and I catch the glint of a massive diamond on her right hand. “Jesus, Lily—you’re gonna blind me with that thing.”
Her eyes go wide and she follows my gaze to her own hand with a deep blush. “Oh—yeah. It’s big.”
It’s gaudy for sure—and also kind of ugly. It definitely doesn’t look like anything she’d wear.
“My dad made me wear it,” she says with a shrug, finishing off her glass before letting one of the passing waiters take it.
It’s a brief reminder that this is the girl who told me to “pay whatever I wanted” for a nice townhouse in downtown Waterfell. Whose outfits I’ve suspected would cost more than a semester’s tuition any given day. Coach LaBlanc has Reiner kind of money, if this jewelry is anything to go by.
“I’m gonna go hide in the bathroom,” Lily mumbles. “Do you wanna come?”
My eyes gloss over the circle of Bennett and his friends and parents. Running away hasn’t gotten you anywhere good. Stand and face it.
“I’m going to go back to Bennett,” I say. My hand rests over her pale, bare arm and squeezes. “Do you want to come with me?”
She shakes her head. “I’m okay.”
I tuck a fallen piece of her hair behind her ear, checking to see she’s wearing her hearing aid. “Come find me if you’re not.”
She smiles and touches over the place my hand was before trotting off. I wait until she’s in the hallway toward the bathrooms before I head back to Bennett’s side.
He wraps his arm around me, pulling me in and kissing the top of my head briefly as the conversation continues on.
Rhys’s father, Max Koteskiy, and Adam Reiner are talking plans for the next phase of fundraising for the new charity.
And everyone is listening, quietly watching and only contributing when asked.
Rhys says something to Bennett from his side as Sadie attempts to slip out of his hold. He doesn’t even pause, grabbing her back in his arms as he continues whispering to my boyfriend.
“Will you be giving a speech?” Ethan suddenly asks, directing his question to me as he steps into the circle alongside Bennett’s mother.
“W-what?” I’ve zoned out, watching the silent struggle for dominance that feels half real and half foreplay between Sadie and Rhys, so I’ve missed most of what’s been said.
“I just assumed—I’m sorry, Paloma. I thought you might be partially invested in this particular charity, considering . . .”
He lets the word hang. A ringing starts in my ears, the warmth of Bennett’s palm on my waist disappearing as my body goes numb.
“Considering what?” my boyfriend asks.
Ethan’s brow furrows, but I can see the slight upward curve of his lips hidden behind his glass as he takes another sip. “Did Paloma ever tell you that we actually know each other?”
Ice shoots through my veins and I stagger slightly in my heels.
“No,” Bennett says, eyes confused and almost hurt as he looks down at me. “P?”
“I—”
Ethan smiles and reaches his hand out toward me, patting my arm lightly. I barely hold in a flinch.
“It’s okay, Paloma. No need to be ashamed,” Ethan says, serious. The same caring intensity he had when I was thirteen and terrified.
Then, to the entire circle—Adam, Max, Helen, Rhys, Sadie, and Bennett—he tells the story. My story.
“I met Paloma when I was still a cop, assigned to the area where she lived—a trailer park we tended to frequent. Her mom was hooked on several drugs and usually had some lowlife guy or other in and out of the house. And Paloma was so young—god, how old were you? Ten?”
“Thirteen.”
“Thirteen. Wow.” He smiles at me. And I know that the web he’s weaving is ensnaring them all—that he took pity on a poor little girl.
I feel sick. “Anyway, I didn’t recognize her before, but with the blond hair .
. . it’s impossible not to see that same girl.
And I am just so happy to see you doing so well now. ”
He turns his chin back to Mr. Koteskiy and nods. “Paloma is exactly the kind of kid this new charity will help. I’m so thrilled that you two have put this together.”
I stumble back, away from the group, barely keeping down the vomit I can feel coming up.
“I-I need to go,” I say, words garbled and half-formed. “Sorry. I-I—excuse me.”
It’s the best I can get out before I take off across the ballroom as fast as I can in my heels, transitioning into an all-out sprint the second the doors open to the refreshing cool night air.
So much for not running away anymore.
Pathetic, the hateful voice whispers. Only this time it doesn’t sound like him.
It sounds like me.
A hand wraps around my shoulder.