Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
EVE
I swallow hard and see his gaze, watching my throat move. Why is this so hot? My body is on fire right now, and I can feel how damp my panties are. He’s looking at me like he wants to devour me, but there’s something else there that I’ve never seen before. I search his eyes until I see it brimming just beneath the surface. Anger. We’ve never once brought anger into our lives, let alone our bedroom. We had no reason to. Our life was perfect together up until I left.
It’s here now, though, weaving its way through the air. He’s finally going to give me what I want—his anger—and I can finally be free of my guilt.
“Let’s go,” I say, pushing off the door. He wants to get out of his hell, and I want to be the one who pulls him out of it.
His eyes burn into mine before he steps back and opens the door.
“After you.” He motions at the door, and I step through. Taking my hand again, he walks us over to Bobby. I smile at him when we approach where he’s standing. He’s in his mid-forties, and like most of the guys who work here, he’s covered in tattoos. His dark beard is trimmed nicely, and his warm brown eyes capture mine as he smiles back at me.
“I’m taking the afternoon off. We’ll be back tomorrow to get Eve’s car.”
He looks at Ryder, and I can tell he has a million questions. “So the meeting went well? You didn’t screw it up and make her quit on us?”
Ryder rolls his eyes at him. “No, Eve’s part of the business now and will be in charge of running the office and anything else she wants to get her hands involved in.”
Bobby grins at Ryder. “Thank God. You were drowning back there.”
“I know,” he laughs.
Bobby turns and meets my eyes. “Ryder has told me a lot about you these past couple of years. It’s good to finally have you here.”
“All bad things, I’m sure,” I murmur. I can only imagine what he told everyone about me when I left.
“Actually, all good things. You had a lot of great ideas for this place that Ryder made sure I implemented. You have an eye for business.”
I’m taken aback by the compliment and the fact he never talked badly about me for leaving. “Thank you,” I say softly. I glance at Ryder, and the corner of his lip turns up.
“I told you this place was as much yours as it is mine.” He focuses on Bobby and turns serious. “I’ll have a meeting with the guys about Eve and her role in the business in more detail, but let them know it goes without saying that she’s to be treated with respect and off limits. I’ll be having this conversation with Nick especially. If he values his job, he will respect my boundaries.” Ryder has a death grip on my hand, and I see his tense jaw as he makes it known that I’m his. Something inside me burns even more.
“Got it, Ryder. I’ll let them know, and you can talk to them more at the meeting.”
“Thanks, Bobby. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He pulls me with him, and I wave goodbye to Bobby as I try to keep up. Chuckling, he lifts his hand before getting back to work.
He walks me over to a black Porsche GT3 before opening the passenger door for me.
“This is yours?” I’ve only seen him drive Travis’s truck. I haven’t stepped foot in the garage at the house. He told me he got us matching black vehicles, but I didn’t know he finally got his dream car.
“She’s mine,” he looks at her with pride in his eyes. “She was in a bad wreck, and I restored her from the ground up.”
I slide into the black leather seats with the red trim and look around as he gets into the driver’s side. There are only two bucket seats, and everything is modified to perfection. He slips on the seatbelt, and I do the same.
“She’s beautiful, Ryder. You always wanted one of these.” I run my hand along the gleaming dashboard.
“I found her broken and knew exactly what she felt like,” he says quietly. “I bought her that day. I saved her, and in a way, by putting her back together, she saved me.” I reach out and place my hand on his arm, wanting to comfort him. He looks down at my hand, and I see him tense. “I don’t need your pity right now, Eve. I need your anger. If we are going to do this, I need you with me. If I see pity in your eyes when I look at you, I won’t be able to feel the anger that’s been brimming underneath the surface since you first came back. I’ll stuff it back in, and it will always be there.”
I take my hand back and rest it on my lap. “It’s hard to find my anger when I feel so bad about what I did to you. I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes because of the guilt I feel,” I admit.
“Under all that guilt, I know you are fucking pissed at your parents for what they did, and I’m going to drag it out of you.” He roars the engine to life and shifts it into gear, peeling us out of the parking lot.
He takes the longer way home, where the streets are more deserted. I watch his strong muscles flex as he shifts gears. He’s in complete control of the machine beneath us, and I can’t help the way my heart rate goes up as adrenaline rushes through my body. He glances over and notices me watching him. A smirk plays on his lips as he focuses back on the road. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me. My eyes roam his body, and when I see him straining against the front of his jeans, satisfaction weaves its way through, knowing he’s feeling the same.
A low growl escapes his lips, and I jerk my eyes to meet his. Greys pierce me before shooting back to the road. He finally shifts gears and slows down as we near his house. The garage door opens, and we enter it before silence fills the air. He’s out the door the minute the garage door shuts. I fumble with my seatbelt, my hands shaking from the anticipation of what’s to come. He opens the doors and pulls me out, leading me to the back door and across the pool deck.
Thankfully, Jake and Miles are working today, so we don’t have to deal with any questions about why Ryder is pulling me into his place in the middle of the day. The door closes behind us, and I hear a soft click as Ryder locks it. His eyes lock onto mine as he walks toward me. I instinctively walk backward into his room until I hit the bed, forcing me to stop.
Bending down close to my ear, his scent invades my senses. He’s always smelled amazing to me, like sandalwood mixed with a hint of spice. “You were gone for exactly nine hundred and eighty-nine days. I know because I counted every fucking one of them. I have had this fierce possessiveness towards you ever since you came back. The need to claim you as mine over and over again consumes my every waking moment,” he breathes against my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
“I want to own every inch of this body, so there is no doubt in your mind of who you belong, too. We’ve both been in hell for the past three years and a huge part of me wants to punish you for that.” He pulls hard on my ear lobe with his teeth. “I want to take back what we’ve missed and turn this pain into pleasure.”
He grips my hips tightly, and I can tell he’s barely hanging on, but he wants my permission first.
“Do what you need to erase the pain,” I whisper. “I want to be punished for leaving. It will take some of the guilt away. It’s still there, choking me every time I think about the hurt I caused you. I want to be set free.”
“I have guilt too, Eve, and this is where I’m going to get your anger out.” He turns and paces the floor like a lion put into a cage. “You have to know that I waited. I waited so damn long for you, praying you would come back. At first, it hurt like hell, and then, as the months went by, it turned to anger. I almost went mad thinking about you being with someone else when all I could think about was you. A sick part of me wanted to hurt you in the only way I knew how.”
“What are you saying, Ryder?” My heart feels tight in my chest, and I start to feel sick to my stomach. I know I’m not going to like what he has to say.
“About six months ago, I started letting girls take me home. I had given up on you ever coming back, and I wanted to try and feel alive again.” He was right about one thing…he was getting my anger out. I feel it rise to the surface as I face the guilt in his eyes.
“And did you? Did fucking other girls make you feel alive again? While I was crying myself to sleep every night trying to find my way back to you, you were fucking girls to get through it. Perfect,” I snort, throwing my hands in the air. I know I’m not being fair. He didn’t know what I was going through or that I was coming back, but I can’t help the jealousy that’s flowing through me right now.
He storms over, invading my space. “I didn’t fuck other girls,” he grounds out. “You were the last one I was inside of.” His hand grabs the back of my neck tightly as he bends down close to my ear. “You were the last one I kissed.” He sucks my neck hard, and his teeth leave a mark. I welcome the pain and the rush of heat that pools between my legs. “The last one I tasted on my tongue. I couldn’t even get hard unless I closed my eyes and pictured you,” he whispers against my skin, sending goosebumps across my arms.
I’m breathing hard, and I don’t know what to feel. I want to cry and scream and throw something all at the same time.
“What did they get in return for sucking your dick?” My eyes blaze into his, and from the look on his face, I guessed exactly right. If he wants to get this off of his chest, then he’s telling me all of it.
“I fucked them with my fingers and then left feeling like I just cheated on a ghost. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.”
“How many?”
“How many times?” He avoids my eyes and looks away.
“Yes. If we are going to get past this, I might as well know all of it. How many girls sucked your dick.”
“Would you please stop saying it?” He closes his eyes before opening them. “Just six. If I thought for one second you were coming back or that you still wanted me like I wanted you, I would have waited. I would have waited forever for you.” I search his eyes and can see the guilt in them. I know Ryder too well to know this has been eating him up inside since I came back.
I drop to my knees and start unbuckling his pants.
“Eve, what are you doing?” He asks quietly.
“I’m going to be the last one to taste you. Whoever that girl was doesn’t get to be the last any longer.” I unzip his zipper and free him. He’s already swollen and ready as I grip him hard, bringing my hand down in a long stroke, just like he likes. His head bows back, and his beautiful lips part on a moan.
“I want your eyes on me, Ryder. I want my lips to be the only one you ever see around you again.” I don’t know where this strong, confident girl came from, but a fire has been unleashed inside me, and all I want to do is remind him of what I can give him. I want him to know he’s mine.
“You’re all I ever see. Even when I didn’t want to because it hurt too much, I still saw only you,” he says in a strained voice as I lick his arousal off his tip. Wrapping my lips around him, I bring him deep into my mouth. I hear a moan, but I don’t know if it was me or him. It’s been so long since I’ve tasted him, and I feel myself get wet as he grips my hair tightly.
“Fuck, you feel so good. I’ve missed your mouth around my cock. No one has ever made me feel the way you do.”
I go deeper and faster, wanting to brand this image into his head. His hands dig into my hair, and I can tell he’s close. I grab his ass and bring him to the back of my throat. His shout rings out in the bedroom as I greedily take every last drop he gives me.
“Jesus Christ,” he pants. I stand up and lick my lips as satisfaction weaves its way inside. “Feel better knowing you are the last?” His voice is breathless, and his chest heaves as his body fights to get under control.
“I do feel better,” I smirk.
I watch him remove his t-shirt and toss it to the floor before stepping out of his shoes and pants. He stands completely naked in front of me, and I take my time looking at him. God took his time with this one. He’s made to perfection. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful. With his broader shoulders and chest now covered in several more tattoos, he only looks more dangerously sexy to me. The gleam in his eyes tells me we are nowhere near being done here.
“I want to see you.” His eyes rake over my body and leave a scorching path in its wake. I fumble with the buttons on my blouse before sliding it down my arms, where it lands at my feet. My heels go next, along with my skirt and thong.
His eyes watch my every movement as my body starts to crave him. Reaching behind me, I unclasp my bra, letting it hit the floor. He’s already swollen and ready for me again as he fists his hands by his side. He steps closer until our chests are almost touching.
“How is it possible that you got even more beautiful?” His hand skims down my neck before torturing both of my breasts. I gasp when he pinches my nipple hard, sending desire straight to my core.
His hand moves down lower and cups my wetness. He moans when he finds my body ready for him. “I don’t know how many times I stroked myself to images of you. My heart was destroyed, but my body craved you like it needed you to live. Did you lie in bed at night, touching yourself to images of me? Wanting my dick inside of you so badly that you thought you were going to die without it?” He pushes two fingers in, and I moan at the invasion.
“Yes,” I whisper. “I thought about you every second of every day. The nights were the worst, and I wanted you next to me so badly. I would touch myself, wishing it was you, and then cry myself to sleep because you weren’t.”
Groaning, he sucks my bottom lip before frantically kissing me. Our tongues collide and seek that connection. He breaks away, breathing hard, his eyes lit with a storm that’s brewing.
“You’re mine, Eve. You’ve been mine since the day we met. I don’t care if the devil himself comes to you and threatens you. You are never to leave again. Ever.” He grips the side of my face and pierces my soul with the untamed look in his eyes.
“I barely survived leaving you once. A second time would end me.”
“It would end me too.” His deep voice is low as he searches my eyes. I see the pain clash with the anger and feel the rawness in his voice when he speaks again. “You broke me, Eve.”
“Then let me unbreak you.” His greys are a full-fledged storm of emotions now, but it’s the love I see that starts to burn bright again that I hold onto. “You can trust me, Ryder,” I whisper.
I see the moment he makes his decision. His lips slam roughly into mine as his teeth tug and pull with an urgency between us now that wasn’t there before. It’s a frantic need that we have to grab on tight to one another. Whether it’s from love or fear, the line is too blurred to tell.
He breaks away, and his eyes are wild with need. “Hands on the headboard.” His voice is low, and there is no mistaking the tone telling me this is going to get intense. I turn and crawl to the headboard, and a low growl comes from behind me as I grip the top of it.
The bed sinks as he comes closer. He presses against my back, and I feel him swollen against my bottom as he grips my hips tightly. I feel him at my entrance seconds before he’s deep inside, and I’m molded around him. I moan loudly as my body eagerly wants more. I hear him breathing hard, and I know he’s fighting to hold back as he slowly starts to move.
He stills and grips my hips tighter. I press back into him, encouraging him to let go.
“I trust you, Ryder. Do what you really want to do. Don’t hold back because this is something I need, too. Spank me hard, bite me, fuck me raw just…free us.”
“Jesus,” he says, panting hard. “If it becomes too much…”
“I’ll tell you,” I say, interrupting him. “Now fuck me hard, Ryder,” I demand, not giving him any more reason to think about it.
He slams into me, and I grip the headboard as the force of it pushes me forward. His fingers dig into my flesh with a bruising grip as he goes harder and deeper. I feel his hand come up into my hair as he fists it, yanking my head back.
It’s painful but, at the same time, creates a deep pleasure brimming beneath the surface. His body slaps against mine with a force that has me biting my lip to stop a scream, whether from pain or pleasure—I can’t tell. It’s so easily blended together.
When his hand palms my behind, I gladly welcome it. “Do it,” I pant. “Punish me for fucking leaving you.”
His hand comes down hard, and I cry out from the contact. He rubs the spot, and I immediately want more.
“Again,” I ground out, preparing for another blow. He does the other side as tears prick my eyes.
“Again,” I say through clenched teeth. He does one more on each side before he’s panting against me.
“That’s enough,” he says roughly. He reaches around and teases my swollen bud, turning the pain into pleasure. I moan when he goes deeper. “I’m going to cum hard in you now, my evening sun, and I’m going to take you with me.”
He brings me to his chest, slick with sweat, as his hand comes up to squeeze and torture my breasts. I sink down on him, setting a pace that has us both moaning with pleasure. He kisses my shoulder and lightly nips my collarbone, sending my body into a spiral. I cry out his name as my orgasm slams into me with such intensity that I’m no longer in my body.
“Fuck!” He roars, spilling into me. His body molded to mine like we don’t exist without the other.
He holds me tightly against him, and I wrap my arms around him as our fingers interlace. Our breaths come out fast as our minds try to catch up with the intensity of what our bodies just felt.
“Are you okay?” He asks in a quiet voice once he can speak.
“I’m better than okay,” I smile, turning my head to look at him. “I feel…” I try to search for the words. “I feel lighter somehow….free.”
“Me too.” He slowly releases me before laying down and pulling me to his side. “That was…intense,” he laughs softly.
“Intense and hot. I may have a spanking fetish that I didn’t know about,” I giggle.
“I’m sure I can arrange to punish my naughty girl when she misbehaves,” he grins down at me before turning serious. He softly brushes back my hair, and I start crying when I see nothing but love shining back at me.