Chapter Sixteen
brEANNA
MY STOMACH has been in knots all morning. It’s easy for my mind to say I don’t care that Mato will be here today; I’ll just treat him like any customer and it will be like any other day.
But the clock says they’ll be here soon, and my heart speeds up while butterflies flutter in my stomach. This is ridiculous, I shouldn’t care where he is or what he does.
Soft whining comes from the box on the floor next to the desk in my office, and I look down at the little balls of fur snuggled up together. It’s getting close to their next feeding time, so I distract myself and go to the break room to make their bottles.
I’ve been up with them every few hours all night, and I’ve already learned which one is the hungriest, which one has the sweetest temperament, and which one is the aggressive one.
The sound of tires on gravel out front almost makes me stop in my tracks as I’m carrying the warm bottles down the hall to my office. Rolling my shoulders and telling myself he’s just another customer, I continue to my office to set the bottles on my desk.
Shaking my fingers out, I step into the hallway just as I hear the doorbell in the waiting room. I’d already propped open the staff entrance door separating the waiting room from the back area, and I see them as they walk in.
Koda is in front of Mato, wearing the same clothes he was in yesterday, with a bookbag that looks like it’s on its last leg slung over his arm. His eyes are bright, and he sees me instantly.
Without thinking, my gaze moves to Mato, the urge like a magnet.
His dark blue t-shirt is tight across his chest, and the sleeves are pushed up to his elbows, showing off his corded forearms, and his jeans hang low on his narrow hips.
He’s pulled the top of his hair back into a tie on the back of his head, like he used to do when it was long.
He looks so much like the boy I loved with all my heart, and the raw feelings from so long ago make my lungs burn like I just walked through fire.
Our eyes meet across the room, looking back at me from the soft dark brown is nothing but gentleness and sincerity. His lips tip up, and he lifts a donut box in one hand and a carrier of coffee cups in the other.
“I brought breakfast. There’s plenty of cream if you still like your coffee sweet.”
He remembers that I drink my cream with a splash of coffee.
The ache in my chest makes my nose sting, and I quickly look at Koda as I nod. “I do, thanks.”
Don’t forget, not one phone call in ten years.
Sucking in a deep breath, I smile at Koda. “I hope you’re ready because I have five little fur balls ready for their next feeding, and there’s a lot to it.” Standing to the side, I lift my arm to point my hand to my office.
His smile lights up his entire face as he rushes past me. “I’m ready.”
Briefly glancing at Mato, I tip my head toward my office and turn to follow Koda. The soft thud of his military boots on the tile follow behind me.
Koda is already on his knees next to the box, sliding his finger across the tops of their heads, talking softly to them. “Hey, remember me?”
Turning my head to talk over my shoulder, I move a small, unpacked delivery of gloves, syringes, and IV needles from the built-in counter on one wall. “You can set that here.”
Mato sets the box of donuts and the drink carrier on the counter.
He bends to let the box slide off his hand, and the counter that hits at my hips seems dwarfed next to him.
When did he get so tall? He looks around the room at the posters of equine and bovine anatomy; the dry-erase board with patient information, times, and procedures; the built-in cabinet with bottles of medications; my bookshelf full of medical books; and the cot I keep in the corner.
He turns to face me, his eyes shining and his smile warm. “This is great, Breanna. You did it, you got your dream.”
From the time I was ten or eleven, I told everyone I wanted to be a vet and have my own hospital.
When I was in high school, the school system partnered with one of the local tech schools, and the students who had the grades and drive spent half of their day learning their chosen trade. That’s partly how I got my scholarship.
It was the summer before I went to college, when the slow panic consumed me.
I felt like I had to choose between my dream of vet school or Mato.
Without a second thought, I chose him. The fear that he would find someone else before I finished school was like a black hole swallowing me up. I couldn’t lose him.
Something about being this close to him erases some of the anger and distance I’ve been holding onto like my life depends on it. Holding his gaze, flashes of our life before fill my mind: his kisses, his laugh, his hugs, the safety of him.
The long, deep lowing of a heifer in the inside observation area fills the silence and pulls me out of my thoughts.
He’ll leave again.
Shaking my head, I clap my hands together as I look down at Koda. “Right. Are you ready to learn all about feeding puppies?”
He doesn’t even look up at me. “Yep.”
“Good, because we have mid-morning rounds to make after this. I intend to take advantage of having another set of hands here with me today.”
He finally looks up at me, confidence in his eyes and a smile on his face. “Does that mean I get to help with the other animals?”
“Yes, but you have to do everything I say since some of them are cranky from not feeling well.”
His head bobs. “Okay, I will.”
Mato is still standing in the same place, and I face him. “Can you pick him up around three or four?”
Disappointment crosses his face, and he nods. “Yes, I have some things to do at the gym today, so I’ll be back later.” He lifts his hand in a half-wave as he grabs one of the cups of coffee and turns to the door, and I force a smile.
“Bye,” Koda says over his shoulder as he stands and looks at the little tray of bottles on my desk.
We spend the morning taking care of puppies, and he helps me feed the boarded animals and the recovering animals. As we put the hay cart back in its gated-in area at the back of the stable, I close the gate behind us, and the latch pulls loose, allowing the gate to swing open.
“Shoot.” I turn and grab the gate to stop it from hitting the metal stall and spooking any of the animals with the noise.
Koda turns to see what I’m talking about, bending over the latch to look at it like it’s a puzzle to be solved, and says, “I can fix that.”
Without waiting for me to say anything, he takes off running to the door of the breezeway that connects the front office with the stables. Lifting my eyebrows in surprise, I wonder how he thinks he can fix it.
It doesn’t take long for him to come running back with his tattered bookbag.
He drops it next to the gate and pulls out a little black box that looks like one of the mini tackle boxes Tucker used to use when we went fishing as kids.
My eyebrows climb even higher on my forehead when he opens the box, and it’s full of mismatched screwdrivers, a pair of bent pliers, the wire cutters from yesterday, screws and springs, and a small flashlight.
He drops to his knees in front of the gate with a screwdriver and a rusty washer from the box. His bag flap is open, and I peek in to see an assortment of junk like a TV remote, part of a doorknob, an old flip-phone, and a broken toy car.
He likes to take things apart.
It takes a few minutes for him to finish what he’s doing and push the gate into its cradle, and it latches.
I’m impressed and sad at the same time because he’s definitely a smart kid, but his home life can’t be good, based on his clothing and the horrible, uneven haircut that no mom should let their son walk around with.
Smiling up at me, he shyly shrugs his shoulders. “It will hold until you can get a new one.”
The washer is too big and looks out of place, but he’s right, it’s holding for now until I can get a new one.
I nod my head, and not wanting to insult him with exaggerated gratitude, I keep it simple.
“That’s really great, thanks.” Pointing at the ratty bag that looks like he might have taken it out of a trashcan, I say, “You know, I’ve got a bookbag in the closet in my office that I bought to carry supplies in when I’m on call, but it’s too small. You can have it if you want it.”
He tilts his head and looks thoughtful. “It’s not pink, is it?”
A laugh escapes my lips, and I set my hand on his shoulder. “No, it’s not pink, smarty-pants, it’s black. Come on, I’ll show you.”
Back in my office, he’s looking at the bag I dug out of the closet as I complete the rounds chart for the morning when my cell rings. It’s Marley.
I tap the call button. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Breanna.” She sounds anxious, and the hairs on my arms stand up. “Dad’s had another heart attack, we’re following EMSA to the hospital.”
Goosebumps erupt all over my body, and it’s hard to take my next breath.
Daddy.
“Okay, I’ll call my backup and meet you at the hospital.” My voice is shaking, and I hang up before she can say anything. I don’t think I can bear to hear her say anything else.
Grabbing my keys as I call Leslie, I go from door to door, locking things as the line trills in my ear.
“C’mon, c’mon.” I mumble to myself on the fourth ring.
“Hey,” she finally answers.
Talking over her, I tell her about the phone call and that I need her to come to the hospital to cover me so I can go to the human hospital.
“Of course, I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”
“Okay, I’m locking everything up, and I’ve recorded everything for the morning.”
Turning around to grab my purse, I remember there is another person here. Shit. He’s looking at me, confusion all over his face since I started running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I’ll have to take him with me. I’ll call Mato on the way so he can come get him at the hospital.
“Koda, something has happened and I have to meet my sister, grab your things.”
He nods, but he still looks confused.
I don’t have Mato’s number. He called the main line yesterday, it will be on the caller ID. Running to the front desk, I search through the numbers until I find the one with his name on it.
Tapping the number into my cell, I run back to my office to grab Koda. The line only trills once before he picks up. “Breanna?”
My voice is shaking as bad as my hands as I run to the front door. “Mato? H-he had a heart attack.” My breaths are coming fast as I try to control my emotions.
“Take a breath, nudo, who had a heart attack?” His warm voice is calm and steady, just as I remember it.
“My dad. I have to go to the hospital.” Hearing him use his old Cherokee endearment that roughly translates to moon or sun squeezes my chest even more.
My truck chirps as I unlock the doors, and I wait for Koda to buckle his seatbelt before I put the truck in gear.
His voice is reassuring, as usual. “Okay, I’ll meet you there. Please try to stay calm and drive safe, okay?”
“Okay.” I disconnect the call and drop my phone into the console.
I can’t lose my dad. Aside from Mato, once upon a time, he’s always been my rock. I suck in a breath to stave off the panic. He had a heart attack about five years ago and he was okay, maybe this will be the same. He’ll go home with orders to rest and recuperate.
Gripping the steering wheel with both hands, my knuckles white, I nod my head with my thoughts. Yeah, he’ll be okay.
“Is it your dad?” Koda’s small voice is next to me. His old backpack is on the floorboard, and he’s hugging the one I gave him to his chest.
I forgot he was there.
Nodding my head again, I keep my eyes on the road. The sun is shining, and the sky is clear blue, but I feel like my world is closing in on itself, turning dark.
“I haven’t seen my dad since I was in kindergarten. He went to the store one night and didn’t come back.”
His truth jars me out of my spiraling thoughts, and I flick my eyes to him before I look back to the road in front of me. “So, you only have your mom?”
Shrugging his shoulder, he watches the trees fly by outside the window.
I’m not sure what to say to that. The panic squeezing my spine is making it hard to think straight, so I reach across the console and slide my hand down the back of his head and squeeze his shoulder before putting both hands back on the steering wheel.