Chapter Thirty
brEANNA
“DON’T WORRY about us, we’ll be fine. Go to work.” Marley’s not looking at me as she says it. She and Sloane are making their usual huge breakfast as the house wakes up.
She helped me get Nova up and dressed after I got up to get ready for work. The little girl has the sweetest disposition. She hasn’t said anything yet, but as I put her new clothes on her and pulled her thick, shiny, black hair into a French braid, she did everything I said without complaint.
Lifting her up to set her between my legs on the bed so I could fix her hair reminded me of all the times Marley did all these things for me. I may not have had my mom, but I had Marley, my dad, and my siblings to make me feel wanted and loved.
My heart beat faster as I realized I’d like to do the same for her and Koda.
I can’t miss work, the hospital is set up in a way so that I have to be there every day. It’s never been an issue, it is what it is, and since I love my work, I never thought about having it any other way.
But now Nova sits in the breakfast nook, her brown eyes watching my every move, and I can tell that even though she hasn’t said anything, she is listening to everything.
Turning my attention back to Marley, I sigh. “Are you sure? I’d take her with me, but I don’t have a way to take care of her there through the day.”
Marley finally turns and playfully rolls her eyes. “You act like the house isn’t already full of children running and playing all day. She’ll be fine, she can play with Sofi and Niki. They’re almost the same age and the girls will love to show her their toys.”
Yesterday, after some of the nervousness wore off, Nova watched the twins from afar, taking in the energy of everyone around her.
When we sat down for dinner, she stayed close to me and climbed into my lap as if I were her safe space.
My heart melted, and I looked across the table at Mato.
I didn’t consciously look at him, it was almost like muscle memory, except I haven’t used that muscle in ten years.
He was already looking at me, his smile warm.
Glancing at the big brown eyes glued to me and then back to Marley, I motorboat my lips in a frustrated exhale. A small giggle fills the air next to me, and my eyes flick back to Nova. A smile shining on her face, brightening the room. Smiling back at her, I wink and do it again, making her laugh.
About that time, Mato walks in with Koda in new clothes, ready to drop him off at school. His hair is combed; I don’t think I’ve ever seen it so tame, and the backpack I gave him is on his shoulder. We bought him a new, more kid-like backpack, but he refused. He said he likes the one I gave him.
Mato’s eyes find mine and I swear my heart somersaults in my chest and my lower belly heats. He’s pulled the top part of his hair back in the way I always loved, and his black, long-sleeved t-shirt is stretched across his chest, molding to the muscles that my fingers twitch to touch.
He always wears black tactical pants, the same kind I see Mason and Jax wear all the time. It must be a military thing. But they make his legs look really long; his narrow waist tapered into his strong thighs. And then there are the military boots they all wear.
Trying not to let him catch me looking at him, I look down at Koda. “You ready for school?” He nods his head, and I think I see peace on his face. I can’t imagine being ten years old and being concerned about the little sister he had to leave alone.
I want to give him that peace every day, and my eyes burn as I look at him.
Mato walks behind me to grab a biscuit and some bacon from the island that is quickly filling up with food, and his warm palm slides up my shoulder blades to the back of my neck where he gently squeezes before letting go. Goosebumps break out over my arms, and a shiver skitters up my back.
Pretending it didn’t just happen, I focus my attention on Marley. “Okay. I’ll be back around five or six. I’ll try to make it in time for dinner.”
Marley leans her hip against the counter and smiles at me. “Don’t be a mother hen.” She winks at me because she can see I don’t want to leave her. “We’ll see you this evening.”
Talking around the food in his mouth, with only half of the biscuit left in his hand, Mato says, “Me and Koda will be here for dinner. He’s going to walk to the gym after school, like he usually does.”
This all feels so domestic, so far from what I’m used to.
Turning to face him, I hold his stare for a moment, his eyes are full of warmth and something else I’m afraid to acknowledge, and my heart beats faster.
“Okay.” I want to say that I’ll see him then, but it feels too intimate, and I swallow the words.
Turning to Koda, I slide my finger across his forehead to push aside a chunk of hair that has fallen.
The kid should be as tall as my shoulder, but he’s only up to my chest. “Have a good day at school, okay?” I crouch in front of him just enough to get to eye level and take his hand as I lower my voice.
“Don’t worry about Nova; we’ll all take good care of her. ”
His gaze flicks to his sister behind me before meeting mine, and he nods, putting his trust in me.
“Okay.” I stand up and kiss the top of his head before I grab my coat I tossed over the wooden bench at the breakfast table.
“Are you coming back?” A beautiful, tiny voice floats through the air, and I nearly burst into tears.
Nova is sitting tall on the built-in bench in the purple sweatshirt with glitter flowers on the front and pink tights I put on her just an hour ago, worry in her big eyes looking up at me, and her fingers curled over the edge of the table that’s level with her chin.
My heart melts again; this kid’s gonna kill me.
Lowering myself to my knees in front of her, I grab her knees, turn her to face me, and take her tiny hands in mine and try to cover my emotions with a smile. “Yes, I’m coming back. I have to go to work, but I’ll be back around dinnertime.”
She tilts her head in that way I’ve noticed she does when she’s contemplating - sizing up. “Promise?”
Sliding my knuckles over her cheek, I tilt my head to mirror her. “I promise. I’ll come back to you.”
Scooting to the edge of the bench, she leans toward me and wraps her arms around my neck.
Her hair still smells like the strawberry shampoo we used last night, and she rests her head on my shoulder.
I don’t even think about it, I wrap my arms around her tiny body and hold her against me as I set my cheek on her head and close my eyes.