Chapter 45 Dawson
Dawson
The air was thick with tension as my teammates and I rested on the benches during halftime, the sound of our heavy breathing and smell of our sweat permeating the locker room.
Coach Walker came in and silently scanned the room with his hands on his hips, locking eyes with each of us as he went.
I could almost feel the nervous energy coming off the guys around me as we waited for him to say something.
“This is it. This is the day you gentlemen have been working towards for months, some of you years. You have poured blood, sweat, and tears into preparing for this moment, pushed yourselves to the absolute limits, and proven your mettle against teams that have gone for your throats out on that field. We’re down by sixteen, but I don’t want to just make those points up.
I want you to pull so far ahead of them that you can’t see them in your goddamn rearview mirror.
You can do this. You have earned this. This win is yours for the taking.
Get out there and let’s win us a fucking championship! ”
Our roar reverberated around the room, vibrating our bones and firing us up.
Coach called out our five minute warning as I opened my locker and checked my phone.
I didn’t know what I was expecting to find since my and Theo’s no-phone agreement meant I hadn’t heard anything from him in the week he’d been gone, and I wouldn’t for another three weeks.
Possibly more if things didn’t go as planned with his treatment.
I locked it and went to put it back in my bag when the screen lit up with a missed call notification followed shortly by a voicemail alert. My heart flip-flopped seeing the unknown number because somehow I knew exactly who it would be.
I rushed to open the voicemail, plugging my other ear against the surrounding noise so I didn’t miss a single syllable, and when I heard Theo’s throaty timbre, my stomach somersaulted violently.
“Hey there, beautiful. Soooo I bribed my new bestie over here, Meryl, to let me borrow her phone so I could call you. We’ve been watching your game here and I couldn’t help myself.
Even just seeing you on TV makes it fucking hard to breathe…
and I might have popped an inconvenient boner when you threw that eighty yard pass in the second quarter.
Have I ever told you how sexy your arms look when you throw?
And those pants should be illegal because your ass could start a prison riot, damn.
Wait—fuck, I’m rambling. Not enough time for that.
I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that I’m not there, but know that I’m watching and rooting for you, babe.
Just imagine that I’m there, front and center, cheering you on.
You’ve fucking got this. Don’t let those assholes get to you out there.
You are Dawson fucking Hayes, so go out like the champion you are.
Bring home a win for me, baby. Fuck, I miss you so much, Mercury…
and I hope you’re waiting for me. Oh, shit, halftime is almost over…
okay, go kick some ass! I love you! Bye! ”
I choked out a watery laugh, my knees going weak hearing the longing in his voice.
I sniffed and discreetly wiped at my eyes as I tried to pull myself together.
A bittersweet ache bloomed behind my ribs, elation and heartsickness warring inside as I closed my eyes and tried to imagine him just as he said.
I pictured his flawless, white smile and the way one eyebrow always quirked up when he was feeling cheeky.
I imagined him grasping my face and kissing me senseless before I ran out on the field, promising me a carnal reward if I won that would undoubtedly leave me hard and throbbing.
And most importantly, I imagined his alluring rasp in my ear as he told me he loved me and he’d be waiting for me at the end.
Coach’s whistle cut through the din of the locker room, signaling us to line up for the team entrance.
The guys clapped my shoulder or knocked my helmet with theirs as I passed through to the front of the tunnel.
I twisted around to face them all as it sank in that this could be the last game we played together, the last time we walked onto that field as a team.
“Listen up!” I shouted, all eyes swinging to me. “Playing beside you all has been one of the greatest privileges of my life, and I am damn proud of each and every one of you. But this is our field and our fucking championship. Let’s show them that if they want to mess with Texas—”
“They’ll get the Horns!”
Their collective chant thundered in my ears and made my chest swell with pride.
I slid my helmet on and rolled my shoulders back before bursting from the tunnel, our fight song barely audible through the cheers of the crowd.
I ran out with fire in my veins, my team at my back, and Theo’s ring hanging right above my heart.
“Alright losers,” Nate yelled over the noise in the bar. “Please raise your shot glasses to the real winner of the night, Captain QB himself! To Dawson!”
Whistles and whoops of celebration exploded from the crew before they knocked their glasses to the table and tossed the shots back.
Rhys and Micah erupted in coughs while Nate, Griffin, Bash, and Cal howled like drunken wolves while some of the crowd around us joined in.
Kenji and Aly gave each other matching looks of wry amusement at their reaction.
It’d taken some pushing and prodding from Aly to agree to come out with everyone tonight after our big win.
It had been an intense game in the second half, but the guys back out with a vengeance.
I played my heart out and we ended the game against Texas Tech thirty-six to twenty-two.
And when I’d been lifted onto my teammates’ shoulders, I’d looked right into the cameras to wink and blow a kiss, knowing without a doubt that he saw it as my silent message to him.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to celebrate with my friends, but I was having second thoughts about the location.
The karaoke bar was packed with the usual crowd, plus the fans who came to revel in the UT victory.
My gaze trailed to the corner of the bar where I’d watched Theo that night last summer, nursing my broken heart as he’d flirted with his date.
It seemed like a lifetime ago and the surreality of where we were now hit me.
Now, I was sitting there with my friends for yet another celebration, missing Theo just as much as I had back then, but with my heart finally healed over and stronger than before, waiting for him to come home and reclaim it.
“Earth to Dawson?”
I blinked out of my stupor and turned to see Aly smirking at me.
“Sorry, I kinda zoned out.”
“Were you thinking about Theo?”
“When am I not?” I mumbled into my beer.
“Did you get to talk to him after your game? They allow phone calls there, right?” Rhys asked from where he was settled on his boyfriend’s lap.
“They do, but we decided not to call each other and keep him ‘unplugged’, so to speak.”
“But why? Oh no, you guys aren’t on a break while he’s away, are you?” Rhys gasped.
“I hope not, dude. That shit never works out…just ask Ross and Rachel,” Cal chimed in. We all shot varying looks of surprise and amusement his way. “What? Friends is one of Rhys’ comfort shows, I can’t escape it at home.”
“Yeah, but…you like, legit watched it, didn’t you?” Griffin teased. Cal just looked him dead in the eye and double-bumped the sides of his fists together in true Friends fashion.
“No, we’re not on a break. We both talked about it and we thought it would keep Theo focused on his treatment better,” I explained.
“But I think a large part of it is that he wants to prove to himself that he can do this alone, push through it without using me, or even his Dad, as a crutch. Even though he’s doing this partly for us, this is about him. ”
It was weird to be able to talk freely about Theo’s disorder and all the related issues with our friends, but I was also hella relieved to have them to lean on, to have people in my and Theo’s corner that truly cared.
None of this was easy no matter how strong we were trying to be about it.
The episode, the rehab, missing him, and even what came next for us weighed on me more than I cared to admit, but they’d all been as supportive and compassionate as I always thought they’d be.
“That makes a lot of sense actually. The rough patch Micah and I went through last year was what pushed me to try therapy, but then it really became about me and my healing so I could be the best version of myself, regardless of whether Micah gave me a second chance or not,” Bash added.
“Rough patch? Really? Is that how you’d describe how you were—”
Bash kissed Micah soundly on the mouth to cut off his snark, earning him a teasing glare from Micah when they pulled apart. “We don’t need to get into that here. Different story for a different time, my love.”
“That must be pretty hard though, going through all this without being able to check on him and know how he’s doing?” Rhys flashed me a sympathetic look.
I was still getting used to opening up to my friends about how I was feeling, but it did make things easier to process and helped me not feel so alone in my own head.
“Harder than I thought it’d be, if I’m honest. I figured as long as he was there getting help and working through things, I would be fine with the radio silence, but all I feel is…
useless. Helpless. I know this is something he needs to do by himself, but I wish there was something I could do to be there for him, or at least… ugh, I don’t know.”