Chapter 46 Theo
Theo
Mercury,
We had music therapy today and it made me think of you. We had to choose two songs that we connected to. One that represents who we were before rehab and one that represents who we want to be after.
I’ll tell you, it was a lot fucking harder than it sounded. And without my phone to browse through Spotify? Impossible.
But then I thought about you and all the songs you’ve played for me over the years.
I thought about how you mostly choose to play piano when you’re feeling some type of way and you need to process your emotions.
But you play your guitar when you really want to pour your heart out and send a message, those times when the only words worth saying are better sung.
You play the piano with your head, but the guitar with your soul.
So I thought of my own piano and guitar songs. My “head and soul music”, as ridiculous as that sounds. Want to hear what they are?
I’m gonna tell you anyway.
But if you laugh, no blowjobs for a month.
My head song was Avril’s “Head Above Water”. Yeah, I know, it was a little on the nose. Stop laughing.
All I was doing was barely treading water, trying to survive before I came back to you.
I never told you this, but there were a few seconds when I went under at the lake that I didn’t want to come back up.
And I’m not sure I would have. But then you saved me and a switch flipped inside.
Suddenly all I wanted to do was fight to keep you.
I wanted to keep resurfacing no matter how many times I went under because I couldn’t be without you.
You saved me in more ways than you can comprehend, baby.
I think I’ll save my soul song for when I see you again. It’s better if I tell you in person.
Just wait for me.