16. Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen
LUCAS
T oday’s the day we venture out in public. Time for the world to see us as a happy couple. Hopefully they’ll fall in love with our relationship.
If it were up to me, I wouldn’t give a fuck what the media said. It’s not the first time they’ve written shit about me. I’m doing this for Penny. She deserves better. Her business and reputation shouldn’t suffer because of what her ex did.
Why I feel so strongly about helping her, I’m not sure. Or I just don’t want to delve into it. If I did, what would I discover? Something I’m not ready for. Something I’m not made for—monogamous love.
“I still can’t believe you agreed to that bullshit statement you let Claudia post.” I tug on my boots.
Penny stops shimmying into a pale blue skirt. “We had to do something.”
Watching her stand in my bedroom in only a bra and skirt, I want to say to hell with everyone , rip off the little clothing she’s wearing, and throw her in bed and fuck her for hours. It’s exactly what we’ve done the past three days. Eat, sleep, fuck. And I’ve loved every minute. Judging by the smile Penny wakes up with every morning, I’d say she’s having a great time too.
Never in my life have I wanted to spend more than a few hours in bed with a woman. Yet with Penny, I never want her to leave it. I spend every minute wanting to be with her. Not only in bed, but talking with her. The conversations we’ve had about our childhoods, careers, and everything in between is more than I’ve learned about anyone besides my family.
Unfortunately, if we cross the line from friendship to a relationship, I’ll only hurt her. So, when this is over, I will say goodbye. That way we can stay friends. I’d rather cut off my right arm than cause her pain.
I rise from the chair and slide my hands into my pockets. “You apologized for something you didn’t do.”
A white blouse is on the edge of the bed, she picks it up, puts it on, and ties it in a knot at the waist. “Should my statement have been more like yours?” I had her clothes moved into my bedroom. She belongs in my room. In my bed.
“Nothing wrong with telling people to worry about their own lives and fuck off out of mine.”
Shaking her head, she rolls her eyes. “Thank goodness your PR manager said it more eloquently than that.” She turns to the mirror and adjusts her clothing, finger-combs her hair, and applies lip gloss. With a heavy sigh, she says, “Do you think this is going to work?”
I walk to her and slide my arms around her waist. Resting her back against my chest, I prop my chin on the top of her head. We look at each other through the mirror’s reflection.
“There’s a good chance it will,” I say. “It might take time though.”
Her chest heaves up and down. “It’s been nearly two weeks and Darren is still riding the media wave. People are on his side.”
“This is why we can’t hide away anymore. Let’s show our faces. Act like we’re in love.” My heart pounds in my chest. Somehow I feel like I won’t have to do much acting. “They’ll get over what happened, and everything will go back to normal.” And she’ll be out of my life. It’s selfish of me to want this to drag on. But I do.
“What if it doesn’t work and it only makes things worse? My business is suffering because of this. It can’t take much more. I can’t. This has broken me.” Tears shine in her eyes, and she bites her trembling bottom lip.
Her tears are like a spear through my heart. Never do I want to see her upset again over this. Her ex needs to pay for what he’s done and for what he’s putting her through.
Spinning her around so I can face her, I hold on tight when I say, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about you, it’s that you are unbreakable . You have survived nasty beauty pageants, naked photos, a humiliating breakup, and a media circus hounding you. Not many people could get through all that without major damage. You’re the strongest person I know. You’ve got this.”
She gives me a small smile. “After all the years of hating each other, never in a million years would I have thought we would be here like this.”
“We’re meant to be—” I bite my tongue before I say we’re meant to be together . She looks at me intently, like she’s wondering what I was about to say. “We’re meant to be friends,” I correct myself.
She nods, her eyes downcast. Is she disappointed? God, I hope she’s not feeling things other than friendship and lust for me. Feelings I can’t return.
Having her living in my apartment is blurring the lines between friendship and love. We’re saying this relationship is fake, yet we’re sleeping in the same bed every night. Having breakfast together. Talking about our lives, our goals, our dreams. I spend more time working from home than in the office. When I’m in the office I’m excited to get home because I know Penny is waiting for me.
Just like a real couple.
Dropping my hands from around her waist, I step away. I need to pull back and put some distance between us—keep emotions out of it. Shit! This is the worst time. We are about to walk into a pack of wolves. All eyes on us. Every move will be monitored. This is not the time to fuck this up.
I clear my throat. “Are you ready?” Am I? I have to be. This was my idea.
“Yes.” She picks up her purse from the dresser, and I follow her out of the room. Her hips sway with each step and my gaze follows. I breathe a sigh of relief. I don’t think I’ll have a problem proving I’m into her.
Stopping in front of the restaurant, I grip the steering wheel and stare out the windshield. This is it. When we get out of the car it’s game on. No backing out.
“Hey, you’ve been quiet all the way here. Is something wrong?” Penny asks as if she senses my unease.
“No,” I say.
“Are you sure? Because you’ve been frowning since we left the apartment. If you don’t want to do this, it’s okay. You have done so much already. This is my mess to fix. I’ll think of another way to win back the public’s affection.”
I give her a quick glance. “I’m a little nervous,” I admit.
Putting her hand on my thigh, she says, “Me too. Let’s turn around and go home.”
I shake my head. “No, we’re here now. Let’s see it through.” I reach for her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. I don’t need to hold her hand; no one can see us. Yet my instincts have me touching her every chance I get. “Are you ready to go inside?”
Biting her bottom lip, her gaze locks on mine, her eyes a little wide with fear. I bring her hand to my lips and kiss her knuckles to try and steady her nerves. Hell, it’s to steady mine too. So much for keeping my distance. This is not pulling away.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she says with a too-bright smile.
“That’s my girl,” I say, and her eyes snap to mine. I keep doing and saying things I shouldn’t, yet every fiber of my being is screaming she is my girl! I drop her hand and open the door. “Let’s do this.”
We get out of the vehicle, and I move around the hood of the car to Penny. Once again, I take her hand. It’s small and soft in mine. This time I’m holding it for no other reason than for show.
Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that, buddy.
A valet hurries to the car, and I hand him the keys, and we make our way inside.
We chose the Italian restaurant for its location. It’s not a hotspot in the center of the city where celebrities go to be seen and photographers line the streets to get a photo. If we turned up at a place like that, it might look too obvious that what we’re doing is all an act. This restaurant is still busy enough to get noticed in a more subtle way. If all goes well, the paparazzi will get wind we are here.
The hostess greets us with a smile before she does a double-take. Okay, here we go. She’s recognized us. That’s a good sign. She picks up leather-bound menus and guides us to a booth in the corner of the restaurant and in front of a window. We are exposed to the diners and to whoever walks past outside. Claudia picked the restaurant and arranged for this table, said it was the perfect position to be seen.
As we take our seats, I glance around the room. People are looking our way and whispering to each other behind their hands. We’ve attracted their attention. It won’t be long before they take what they think are sneaky photos of us and upload them online.
With jerky movements, Penny opens her menu. Her face is pale and stiff. This is hard on her. I hate that she has to go through all of this because she picked an asshole for a fiancé.
“Hey, Pixie,” I say, my voice lowered. “You won’t convince anyone we’re in love if you’re firing daggers at the menu.”
Her head snaps up. “They’re talking about us and staring.”
I nod and smile like she’s said something sweet. “Yeah, that’s the plan.”
“Like really staring. They’re not even trying to hide it,” she says with disgust.
Brushing a lock of hair from her face, I tuck it behind her ear. At my touch, her face softens. “Pretend they’re not here and focus on me. You are with the hottest guy in the room.”
Laughter springs from her lips. That’s better. This is real.
With an amused expression, she says, “Is that so? I think the guy in the gray suit at the next table is super-sexy.”
I quietly growl and nip at her jaw. Her body quivers. Yeah, she’s relaxing. “You only have eyes for me, Pixie.” I know she’s only joking, but the thought of her looking at another man makes my gut churn. I selfishly want all of her attention.
Before she can respond, a waitress comes over to our table. “Hello, Ms. Aldin, Mr. Alessi. Are you ready to order?” Her attention flicks from me to Penny, and I can tell she’s taking us in. Probably fishing for juicy details to pass onto the other staff.
We pull apart to look at the menus, my thoughts far from food. I give it a quick glance. Penny orders penne alla vodka, and I order the same. We both could do with a drink, and I ask for a bottle of merlot.
Like we hoped, it doesn’t take long for word to get out. Through the window and past the garden edge, paparazzi are arriving and setting up their cameras. After getting Penny to relax, her body stiffens again and fear is etched on her face.
I lean toward her, making out as if I’m nibbling her ear, and I whisper, “Relax. This won’t work unless it looks real.”
Turning her head to face me, she says, “I’m used to people looking at me. It’s part of my job. These people are scrutinizing us. I feel like an ape in a zoo.”
“Want me to throw shit at them?”
Her head tosses back, and she laughs out loud. The sound warms my chest. Penny is getting under my skin, and I’m not sure how to stop it.
“Look at me. Not them,” I say.
She does what I say, and I get caught in her gaze. This is dangerous territory for me. Because while I’m looking in her bright blue eyes I’m scared I’ll fall in.
“As long as they keep their distance and don’t abuse me for being a whore, I’ll be okay.” She adjusts the collar of my shirt and places a light kiss on my cheek. Now she’s getting into the spirit of things.
“When you’re with the hottest guy in the room—no, in all of New York City—they’re thinking what a fucking lucky bitch.”
She tosses her head back and laughs. “Conceited much?”
I shrug. “Just stating the obvious.”
If this banter keeps a smile on her face and convinces everyone this is the real deal, I’ll keep it up. For Penny. For show. This is not for me, I remind myself.
“Do you think it’s working?” She gnaws at her bottom lip.
I take her chin in my fingers and place a light kiss on her lips. Before I can deepen it like I’ve wanted to do since we’ve sat down, the waitress arrives with our meals. The interruption keeps the kiss at a PG rating.
The waitress gives us a big, approving smile and places our plates on the table. “I love the two of you together. I’m so happy for you both,” she says before she walks away.
“It looks like it’s working,” I say. “We could win an Oscar for our performance. Our acting is brilliant.”
A shadow crosses Penny’s eyes. “Yes, we’re good,” she says with a smile that looks stiff on her face. I hate how this is taking a toll on her. She picks up her fork and starts eating her pasta.
A few moments later, Penny’s attention is drawn to the front of the restaurant. Her mouth drops open on a gasp.
Following her gaze, my jaw clenches tight. “What the fuck is Darren doing here?” Word must be spreading. He’s not the attention we want to attract.
“I don’t know.” Her voice shakes like she’s dreading what’s to come.
He walks toward us, but before he reaches our table, I stand up and shield Penny from him. There’s no way I’m going to let this piece of shit near her. When he reaches us, he tries to step around me, but I block his path.
“Get out of my way,” he demands.
If we weren’t sure whether we grabbed the attention of the diners before, we have it now. All eyes are focused on us.
“Not going to happen. You lost your right to Penny when you fucked another woman,” I say loud enough for everyone to hear. I want them to know what a scumbag he is and stop pointing the blame at Penny.
“Get the fuck out of my way. Penny is my fiancée.” His mouth twists with anger.
Everyone has stopped eating. Cameras are pointing in our direction. Shit! This is not good.
“Penny isn’t your fiancée anymore. She’s my girlfriend. If you don’t turn around and leave, I’ll personally toss you out on your ass.”
“Penny!” he calls out, trying again to step around me.
I stand my ground and don’t let him pass. “One last warning…fuck off.” Rage is bubbling inside me, wanting him to give me an excuse to put my fist in his face.
Penny puts her hand on my back. “Lucas, it’s okay. Let him tell me what he wants so he can leave.”
Every muscle is vibrating in my body, telling me not to move, but I step aside for Penny to stand next to me.
“What do you want, Darren?” she asks.
Like nothing has happened, like he hasn’t slandered her name, ruined her reputation, and betrayed her, he steps forward with his arms out wide, going in for a hug.
I reach out and put my hand on his chest, stopping him from coming any closer. “Do. Not. Fucking. Touch. Her.” I grind out each word. The threatening tone in my voice makes him retreat.
He shuffles his feet. “I’ve seen things online. I wanted to check out if it was true. You really are involved with him.” His unimpressed gaze travels up and down the length of me.
Asshole, she’s upgraded to first class. You’re not good enough to be put in baggage.
“Looks like it didn’t take you long to shack up with him after you tore my heart out,” he sneers.
Penny, along with the diners, gasp with shock. The onlookers aim their sympathetic gazes at Darren. I need to get him out of the restaurant before he ruins everything we’re trying to fix.
“Darren, leave. Now.” I control the anger in my tone and try to stay as calm as possible.
“This is a public place. I have a right to be here. Maybe I’ll join you for lunch,” he says with a mocking tone and a smug smile. He crosses his arms over his chest like he’s challenging me to do something. It’s taking all my self-control to not kick him out.
I lean toward him, and he flinches like he’s scared I’m going to hit him. Not so tough under all that bravado. Keeping my voice down, I say, “You’re only here to cause trouble for Penny. Don’t you think you’ve done enough to her? Get lost before things get ugly.” I nod my head in the direction of the entrance.
He ignores my warning and looks at Penny. “How could you do this to me? After all the years we were together, don’t you think flaunting your affair in public two weeks after what should have been our wedding day is a little insensitive?” He said the words loud enough for everyone to hear. I wouldn’t be surprised if the chefs in the kitchen heard.
Penny’s gaze darts around the room, her face turning bright red. “Can we go somewhere private to discuss this?”
“There’s no way I’m letting you go anywhere with this asshole. He needs to fuck off and keep his distance. He’s here to humiliate you, and it’s working.” I step between them. “Get the hell away from my girlfriend. If you so much as come near her again, you’ll be eating through a straw.”
Darren pokes a finger into my chest. “Make me.”
Rage is running through my veins. I shove at his chest. “Don’t tempt me.”
Darren’s fist flies toward my face. Lifting my left arm, I block it then slam my right fist into his gut. He buckles at the waist with a groan, clutching his stomach and wheezing for air.
Gasps and chatter spreads through the room.
Penny’s eyes are wide with fright, and her hand is covering her mouth.
The hostess comes scurrying over with a worried expression on her face. “I’m going to have to ask you all to leave. We can’t have this kind of behavior in our restaurant.”
I pull my wallet from my pocket and toss money on the table. “I’m sorry for the trouble.” But not sorry for punching the asshole.
I clasp onto Penny’s hand, nudge Darren out of the way, and lead her out of the restaurant.
Outside, we’re greeted with the frenzied sound of clicking cameras pointed in our direction as the photographers yell our names out at us like we’re going to stop and pose for photos. Fuck! With all the commotion, I’d forgotten about them.
I signal for the valet to bring the car around and hope we don’t have to wait long. Glancing at Penny, I see that all color has drained from her face. Her body is trembling, and I’m betting she’s trying her damned hardest to keep it together. I wrap my arms around her and use my body to shield her from the cameras. Pressing her face into my chest, I hear her sniffle. All I want to do is protect her. Fuck everyone for doing this to her.
As soon as the car arrives, I usher her inside. Jogging to the driver’s side, I slide in next to her and try to pull out onto the road. The paparazzi surround the car, pointing their cameras at us. I slowly drive forward, tempted to run them down, and finally get onto the road. We drive in silence until we arrive at the apartment building. Pulling into the entrance of the garage, I park and turn off the ignition. No one moves. We just sit in the dim silence.
Finally, she turns to me and says, “We can’t do this anymore.”
“What?” The soft light in the garage shows me she’s getting some color back in her face.
She waves a hand between us. “Pretend to be a couple. I don’t want you thrown into my mess of a life. It’s not fair for you. You should have walked away from me that night you found me in the hotel hallway.”
Incredulous at what I’m hearing, I twist in my seat. “You never asked me to do this. It was my choice,” I remind her.
“You have gone above and beyond. It’s time we end this. I’ll kick Darren out of my apartment and get on with my life, no matter the outcome.” Her phone rings, and she pulls it out of her purse and looks at the screen. “It’s Claudia. She’s probably seen what happened at the restaurant.” Penny declines the call. A second later, it rings again. She glances at the screen again, then blows out a frustrated breath. “My mom.”
“Don’t answer. You can call them back later. We need to talk.”
“If I don’t answer, she’ll only keep calling.” She accepts the call and presses the phone to her ear. “Hi, Mom. Before you ask me a thousand questions, I’m fine. I’m back at Lucas’ place. Love you. I’ll call you later.” She hangs up and gives me a ghost of a smile.
“Wish I could deal with my family like that. You need to teach me,” I joke, pulling a bigger smile from her. There’s my girl. And there’s that thought again… my girl . She’s not my girl, except the more time I spend with her, the more I see her that way. Maybe it is time for her to go. Not when I can’t offer her anything more than a fake relationship.
Am I ready for her to walk out of my life?
No.
And that’s fucking selfish.