18. Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Eighteen
LUCAS
S oon after Penny left to see Darren, Hayden and Finn showed up at my door, convincing me that what I need to take my mind off what was happening in Penny’s apartment was hitting golf balls. And if I refused, they’d take pleasure in dragging me from the apartment by my feet. I take their threats seriously. It’s not the first time they’ve done something similar. Now here I am at the driving range, pulling my phone from my pocket for what feels like the tenth time, waiting for Penny to respond to my text. Smashing balls has not distracted me. I desperately want to know what’s happening.
As Finn takes a swing and watches his ball sail into the netted driving range, I look around me. The place is filled with mostly middle-aged to elderly men.
“What happened to us going to bars and drinking alcohol…lots and lots of alcohol?” I ask.
Hayden plucks a ball from a bucket, tosses it in the air, and catches it. “We’re married and fathers now. Those days are over.”
I screw up my face with disgust. “Doesn’t mean you have to turn into boring, old men.”
“This boring, old man is happy.” Hayden puts the ball on the tee, gives a practice swing, then hits it.
“Nice shot,” Finn says.
It’s my turn for a hit. I pick a ball and place it on the tee on the synthetic grass. Before I position myself to take the shot, I pull my phone from my pocket and check it just in case I didn’t hear the notification sound. Still nothing. Is she okay? Does she need my help? Is he trying to convince her to go back to him? I’m so distracted with thoughts swirling in my head when I swing at the ball, I miss. Shit! That’s embarrassing.
Hayden and Finn burst out laughing. “Concentrate on the ball, not your phone, then maybe you’ll hit it,” Finn suggests with a grin.
“In case you don’t know, it’s the little round thing near your feet,” Hayden jokes.
I flip them the bird. “Assholes.”
My response causes more laughter.
“Penny will contact you when she’s ready,” Finn says.
“What makes you think I’m waiting to hear from Penny?”
Hayden clasps a hand on my shoulder. “You cried like a baby because you didn’t want to leave your apartment in case Penny came home. And you haven’t stopped checking your phone since we arrived at the range. Who else would you be waiting on?”
Giving up on hitting the ball, I slide my club into the golf bag. “Maybe I’m meeting up with someone tonight.” That sounds lame and unappealing even to my own ears.
Hayden and Finn glance at each other then burst out laughing once again. Slapping his thigh, Finn chuckles, “You’re joking, right? You’re a man in love, and it’s with Penny. There’s no way in hell you’re going elsewhere.”
The breath gets knocked from my lungs. “What did you say?”
“You’re not going elsewhere—”
“No…not that.”
Finn smiles. “You’re a man in love.”
I scratch my fingers through my hair. “You’re mistaken. I don’t… I’m not…”
“Don’t look so shocked. It’s better you accept it now. There’s no point fighting it. I know from experience. I wasted so much time denying my feelings for Harper. Love will always get you.”
I clear the lump in my throat. “What makes you think I’m in love?”
“You can’t keep your eyes off her. You’ve changed your whole life for her. The thought of her with Darren is driving you nuts. The past three days you should be at work, yet you rush from the office to get home early.” He counts the reasons on his fingers. “Oh, and you’re glowing.”
What the fuck? “I’m not glowing .”
“Like a lightbulb,” Finn teases.
“Fuck you. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I’m not in love with Penny. Love isn’t an option.
“I know exactly what I’m talking about. So does Hayden. We’ve been through it. We recognize the signs.”
Hayden nods in agreement.
“You know I’m helping her. That’s all,” I say.
Hayden and Finn both wear dubious expressions.
“You’re reading too much into things.” I try to convince them.
Hayden leans on his golf club. “Are you saying you don’t have any feelings for Penny?”
“Nothing more than friendship.” My gut twists into a tight knot like something is trying to tell me I’m lying.
“So, when she moves out and eventually finds another guy you’ll be okay with that?” Hayden looks at me intently.
At the thought of another man’s hands on her, heat boils my blood. The words she’s mine ricochet through my mind.
Finn points his golf club at me. “By the thunderous look on your face, I’d say the thought makes you want to punch a hole in something.”
My phone buzzes in my pocket with a text. Knocking Finn’s club away from me, I step away to read it.
I’m on my way back to the apartment. I’ll tell you all about what happened when I get home. Penny
That’s it? That’s all she has to say? I’ve been waiting anxiously, and she can’t give me something? She said we’ll talk when she gets back. There’s probably too much to say over a text.
I’m out with my brothers. I’ll leave now.
Before I hit send , Finn snatches the phone from my hand. “What the fuck? Give that back!” I demand.
“I knew it!” Finn exclaims as he looks at the screen. “You’re hurrying home to be with her.”
I try to grab the phone, but Finn holds it out of reach. “So? You rush home to be with Harper all the time.”
“Yeah, because she’s my wife and I love her.” A huge, shit-eating grin spreads across Finn’s face. “What’s your excuse?”
I’m tempted to pluck a club from the bag and whack him over the head with it. “Give me back my phone.”
His fingers fly over the screen as he types something. What the hell? I propel forward only to be pulled back by Hayden. When Finn is done, he tosses the phone to me. Hayden lets me go in time to catch it.
“I changed your message to tell Penny you’ll see her in an hour or so,” Finn says unapologetically.
“You had no right to do that,” I fume.
Finn rolls his eyes. “Relax. It won’t kill you to spend a little time apart.”
“Why did you tell her I’m coming home later?”
“Because we need to talk,” Finn says.
“ We need to talk ? Are we teenagers? Should you braid my hair while we’re talking ? Maybe Hayden can paint my nails.” I hold my hand out to inspect it. “He’s got experience with that.” Hayden often comes to work with different-colored fingernails. Courtesy of his daughter Lily, who he can’t say no to.
“I’d recommend shimmering gold. It will match perfectly with your skin tone,” Hayden jokes.
I scowl at him. I’m not finding the situation amusing. All I want is to go back to the apartment. I need to know if Penny’s okay. Hold her in my arms if she’s not. Fuck that—hold her in my arms either way.
Taking a seat, I cross my ankle over my knee. “You wanna talk? Let’s hear what you have to say.” They won’t drop it until they’ve said their piece. The sooner we have the conversation, the sooner I can see Penny.
They take a seat opposite me. “Tell us how you’re really feeling about Penny.” When I open my mouth to speak, Finn cuts me off. “And don’t give us any bullshit about it being nothing but a fake relationship or how you’re just friends. We know you. You’d never do this with any woman. Something is happening.”
Dropping my foot to the ground, I rest my elbows on my thighs and let my hands fall between my legs. “We’ve gotten close.”
When I don’t elaborate, Hayden waves a hand for me to continue. “ And …”
“ And …she’s leaving. Then things will go back to normal.”
What will normal be like? Work—I’ll go back to traveling for photoshoots. Play—casual hookups and drunken weekends aren’t appealing anymore.
“Will you keep seeing Penny?” Hayden asks.
“As friends. If she wants to. That’s it.”
“That’s bullshit,” Finn fires at me. “You’ve moved beyond friendship, and I don’t mean because you’re sleeping together. There’s a connection between the two of you. We can all see it.”
They better not mention me being a man in love again. Because they’re wrong. Aren’t they?
“What could you have possibly seen in the few hours we were together?” I ask. The night we arrived back from the cabin we had dinner and drinks. Conversation was flowing among us all. It wasn’t like I had my hands all over Penny or whisked her away for private time.
“We saw everything we needed to. It didn’t take long to understand what was happening,” Finn explains. “Why aren’t you pursuing this?”
Staring at the ground, I toe at the synthetic grass. “Maybe she doesn’t want more. She’s said nothing about taking the next step.”
“You didn’t give her the ‘I’m just like Dad’ speech, did you? Because if you did, of course she wouldn’t tell you if she wants more,” Hayden says.
“It’s true. I am like Dad.”
Finn and Hayden both roll their eyes. They’ve heard my reasoning for not doing relationships before. They always thought it was bullshit.
With a huff, I get to my feet. “I’d only break Penny’s heart.”
“Just because you and Dad share similarities doesn’t mean you’ll do what he did. He never loved Mom, no matter how many times he said he did. You don’t treat someone you love like that,” Hayden states.
“I can’t risk it.”
“Do you love Penny?” Finn asks.
I turn my back on them and stare sightlessly at the driving range. Do I love her? Penny has made me feel things I’ve never felt before. But I can’t fall in love. Not when the outcome could be disastrous.
Before I get to answer the question, both Finn and Hayden’s phones buzz with a text. Turning around, I find them checking their messages.
“The girls want us home. They’re planning dinner for us all,” Hayden says, rising from his seat.
Finn follows. “That includes you too. Apparently they’ve already told Penny and she’s on her way to Hayden’s house.”
“I thought we were hanging here for a couple of hours?”
Finn grins. “When my woman calls, I run to her.” And he says it with such affection, like being pussy-whipped is the best part of his life.
Hayden pats me on the back. “Think hard about what you want. Don’t let Dad’s misdeeds cloud your mind. You’re onto a good thing with Penny. You should see where it takes you.” With that, we leave the driving range and head toward our women.
At Hayden’s house, we’re met with music blaring from the speakers coming from the living room. Following the sound, we find Harper, Alyssa, and Penny dancing around the room.
Alyssa is holding Lily’s hand, and she spins her around like a ballerina in a music box. Harper is lifting Avery in the air as they bop to the beat. When I take in Penny, a train-sized force slams into my chest. She’s swaying to the music with Sadie cradled in her arms. Our eyes meet across the room. She smiles her sweet smile my way, and I want to drop to my knees and give her anything she wants.
Don’t let Dad’s misdeeds cloud your mind.
Hayden’s words repeat over and over in my mind. When I look at Penny, all I want is to have her in my life.
Then fear grips at my chest and strangles my throat.
Lily skips over to me. “Come and dance with us, Uncle Lucas.”
Hayden and Finn are already wrapping their arms around their wives, getting into the swing of things. How can I refuse the request from my gorgeous niece?
I take Lily by the hands, and we move to the beat. I show off my best sprinkler move, causing Lily to giggle uncontrollably.
When Lily moves on to dance with her dad and Alyssa, I shimmy over to Penny. Moving behind her, I wrap my arms around her waist, rest my cheek against hers, and we sway from side to side.
“You’ve got some serious skills on the dance floor,” she jokes.
“I’m a man of many talents.”
Sadie is cradled in Penny’s arms, and she stares up at us with sparkling green eyes. Holding Penny like this feels so right. My heart is full. I can’t imagine her walking out of my life and never having her this way again.
This life is within reach.
If only I had the balls to take it.
During the next few hours, we overeat on pizza, drink beers, and laugh. I love watching Penny interact with my brothers and their wives. It’s like she’s already part of the family. She fits right in. It’s the best time I’ve had with them in a long time. Sure, I enjoy our time together, but I often feel like the odd one out. They’re on a different path than me. They talk about feeding schedules, baby stuff, school projects. Things I have no clue about. Women and partying was all I was interested in. Now things are shifting. Those days are blurring, and I’m left wondering if I really enjoyed that kind of life.
Or I made myself believe it was all I deserved.
Sitting on the couch, Penny rests her head on my shoulder and lays a hand on my thigh. I slide my arm around her, and she nestles in closer. It’s all so natural. We’ve gone beyond pretending.
On the other side of me, Hayden nudges my arm. Turning my head toward him, he gives me a look that says just friends ? I scowl at him. I hate when my brothers are right.
I have the sudden urge to get Penny back to the penthouse and into my bed. Strip her naked and get lost in her. I haven’t had the chance to talk to her about Darren, but that can wait until later.
“Let’s go home,” I say. Home . My apartment never felt like home until she moved in.
She nods her head in agreement.
Rising, I take her hand and help her to her feet. “We’re leaving.”
Alyssa looks at her watch. “It’s only eight o’clock.”
“It’s been a big day. I’m tired,” I say as an excuse.
Hayden gives me a knowing grin. “You golfed for two minutes, how tired can you be?”
Ignoring his question and everyone’s knowing grins, I say, “We’ll see you later.”
Penny gives everyone a goodbye kiss on the cheek.
As we leave the room, Finn calls out, “Sweet dreams.”
A chorus of laughter follows us out.
The drive home seems like it’s taking forever. Finally, my building appears in my view, and I’ve never been so happy to see it. We barely make it into the apartment before stripping each other out of our clothes.
Whisking her off her feet, with our lips fused together, I take her to the bedroom. I place her gently on the bed and lay next to her. Propped on an elbow, I brush her hair from her face and stare down at her. My breath escapes in a rush. She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. It’s getting harder and harder to suppress my feelings.
She reaches up and cups my face, a small, worried crease forming between her brows. “Is something wrong?”
I shake my head. “Everything is perfect. You’re perfect.” And damn my heart is ready to explode in my chest. I want to tell her everything I’m feeling, yet the words still can’t leave my mouth.
“Lucas…I…” Is she going to say it? Is she going to say she loves me? How will I respond? “I…I think you’re perfect too.”
My shoulders sag. Is it with relief or disappointment? I’d say the latter. How would it feel to hear her say those three little words?
How would it feel to say them?
I press a kiss on her lips then swipe my tongue to open her mouth. Her hands slide up my back to clutch behind my head, and the kiss deepens. Breaking away, I kiss along her jaw to her neck, feeling her pulse beating against my tongue. Her hands skim up and down my back, and when my head dips and I take a hard nipple into my mouth, she digs her nails into my skin.
“Oh God.” Her body squirms beneath me.
My tongue flicks over the nipple before pulling it in deeper, causing her to quiver. Moving onto the other breast, I give it the same attention. Penny’s soft moans urge me on. Making me want to hear those sounds every damn day. My mouth is lapping her up, and one hand skims down her belly and between her legs to her sweet spot. As my fingers slide between her sex, her body jerks off the mattress.
“Lucas…yes…” she pants.
I love how responsive she is.
My thumb presses on her clit, pulling another moan from her. “I need…more.” A tremble is racking through her body. She’s on the edge.
“Not yet, Pixie. I need to taste you first.”
Kissing my way over her quivering stomach, taking nibbles from her hip bones, I settle myself between her legs. I spread them wide then dip my head and place my mouth on her sex. My tongue takes a long swipe over her folds before sucking her clit into my mouth.
Her legs open wider, her fingers tunnel into my hair, and she rocks her pelvis in time with my tongue.
“So…good,” she moans. “How did you get so good at this?” She shakes her head. “No…no…no…don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”
A lot of meaningless sex taught me the skill. Over time, knowing how to pleasure a woman became easy. Yet nothing has ever felt this good. I’ve never wanted to please a woman as much as I want to please Penny. It had always been about fucking with no attachment. Sex with Penny is so much more.
I continue to lave her with long, slow strokes, bringing her close to the edge, yet not close enough to fall. While my mouth is lapping her up, my hand caresses along her body to her breasts, massaging them, and flicking and pinching her nipples.
Tugging at my hair, she pulls me up to her. Our kiss is long and deep, our tongues battling it out with each other. She breaks away, gasping for breath. “It’s your turn.”
Not giving me time to question her, she lifts up and pushes at my chest until I’m on my back. The heat in her eyes tells me exactly where this is going, and I’m rock-hard just thinking about it. Hovering above me, she dots kisses on my neck, across my chest, over my stomach, and hesitates at my aching cock. Her warm breath fans over my blistering skin, and my erection twitches with anticipation.
Licking her lips, she takes me into her mouth, sliding down and up. My hips jerk at the soft touch, and I clutch at the bedcovers. Her tongue twirls over the tip and then licks down the length, back up, and she takes me into her mouth again. I wrap her hair in my fingers and hold on tight.
“Fuck, Pixie…you’re going to kill me,” I groan. I couldn’t think of a better way to die.
Gripping her hand at the base of my erection, she slowly pumps as her mouth works me over. I watch as her head bobs up and down, picking up speed as my cock fucks her mouth. My body tightens; I’m ready to come. But not like this. I gently tug at her hair, pulling her off. If I wasn’t so hard and ready to fuck her, I’d laugh at her disgruntled expression.
I sit up and place her on my lap. I stop myself from sinking deep into her to pull the drawer open on the nightstand and pluck out a condom. Penny takes it out of my hand and rips it open. My head drops forward to watch her roll it on my cock.
Once in place, I swiftly flip her onto her back and settle myself between her open legs. Positioned above her, our eyes lock. I see more than lust for a good time shining from her eyes. Is she seeing the same from mine? Because every nerve in my body is screaming for me to claim her, and not just her body. Never in my life have I wanted anything as much as I want Penny. I’m so consumed by her she’s on my mind from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep at night. Hell, she’s even in my dreams. I can’t get enough of her.
She wiggles beneath me, telling me she’s ready for more. Inch by slow inch, I enter her, both of us moaning when she’s taken all of me in. Our breaths hitch. Our bodies tremble.
Dropping my head, I kiss her as I begin to rock. Slowly at first. Taking my time. Feeling her tight pussy squeeze me. Her hands caress my shoulders, my back, and dig into my ass. She pushes her pelvis up, encouraging me to pick up speed. Hooking her legs around my waist like she wants to keep me there. No problem. There’s no place I’d rather be. I pick up the pace even more. Our bodies slapping together. Our breathing labored.
“Oh…yes…yes!” she screams with each thrust. She’s so fucking close. I’m so fucking close.
“Fuck me!” I groan as my body convulses and I pound harder into her.
“That’s it…I’m…I’m…” Her mouth falls open as an orgasm rips through her body, whipping away whatever she was going to say.
We thrust, buck, quiver until every ounce of our bliss is wrung from us. Dropping on top of her, I’m careful to keep my weight on my elbows. I rest my head on her shoulder, breathing in the sensual scent of sex, sweat, and her sweet floral perfume.
Perfection.
Rolling off her, I pull the condom off and toss it on the floor—I’ll dispose of it later. Gathering Penny into my arms, I hold her close. As I drift off to sleep thoughts of her being in my life is as important as breathing.
I can never let her go.