26. Penny
TWENTY-SIX
PENNY
Wow. It was later, after the best shower I’d ever had, after being pretty darn proud of myself for being so bold, and after we grabbed drinks. I was curled up in Gavin’s bed, my head on his shoulder and my hand draped across his stomach while we watched House . I’d never seen it, but Gavin loved it, and after one episode, I was hooked. But it wasn’t the show that was holding most of my attention. It was that shower. The way he touched me. The way Gavin was always so patient and understanding. The consent he asked for with such openness and willingness to pause if I said no. I was falling fast, far too quickly to be able to land safely if the bottom dropped out from me. There was no escape plan.
Gavin and Josie were it for me.
He alternated between combing through my hair and making large, sweeping circles up and down my back. I hadn’t gotten fully dressed after the shower and forewent the pajamas pants that would have been far too large on me, so I was only dressed in Gavin’s gray T-shirt he’d dropped to the floor. He was wearing a fresh pair of skintight boxer briefs and nothing else.
“I’m going to tell Josie this week,” Gavin whispered into the dark room with the light of House on in front of us.
“Already?” I pushed up.
“I don’t want to keep hiding you, and I want to be able to touch you and kiss you whenever I want. I want your nights spent with us, either here or at your house, and occasionally, I want us spending more nights together like this.”
“It’s soon,” I said, and a lot of change, for me and Josie in a short time.
His arm at my back tensed. “Do you not want that?”
“I do,” I assured him and kissed his chest before sitting up next to him. “But it was only an hour ago you told me you were scared when you met me, and we’ve only been this for a week or so.” I gestured between us with a finger. “I want to make certain you think it’s a good idea, for Josie, too.”
“Josie already wants you to be her mom, Penny.”
I froze and my jaw almost hit the mattress. There was no way he meant what he said… that was far too fast.
Gavin laughed and swiped his hand over his mouth. “Good grief. I don’t mean that’s happening anytime soon.”
Relief rushed through me. Who knew what expression I made, but it must have packed a punch. Gavin was still chuckling, scratching at the scruff on his cheek already growing back since that morning’s shave.
“I meant she loves you, and she’ll be thrilled to see you more. She wants you with me, Penny, so she won’t be angry.”
He had a point. Marriage and mommy bit aside, I wasn’t sure Josie had the capability inside of her to be angry.
But there were things we still needed to talk about, and he needed to know I was on the same page as him.
Using my earlier boldness, knowing I was safe even if this was terrifying, I whispered, “I want you to know, if this does continue and grows, I’ll love Josie like my own.”
“I know. That’s another reason why I’m not scared anymore.”
He leaned in close, brushed his lips over mine, slipped his tongue inside my mouth, and all conversation ended.
Soon, he was pulling off my shirt, rolling me to my back, and falling in between my spread legs.
“I want to do something.” As he spoke, his hands slipped down my body, where he found my sex already warm, wet, and wanting him.
Goodness, every touch of his lit me up from the inside out. It made nerve endings ignite and my body ache for more. And I wanted it. I wanted him . “Gavin,” I rasped and leaned up to do the same to him.
“Not tonight,” he said and pushed me back. His fingers slipped inside of me, and I arched at the pleasure, the quick bite of adjustment it took before Gavin was kissing down my throat, swiping his tongue over my nipples.
He played my body perfectly until the only sounds were my rasps of excitement and need and his hum of approval against my skin. He encouraged me with more and that’s it and louder before he finally scooted down to the end of the bed and pushed my legs apart, and pressed my feet to the mattress.
He looked up at me from there , running his tongue up the inside of my thigh to my knee, back down the other one. “Have you ever…?”
“No.” I shook my head and curled my fingers into the sheets beneath me. Just the thought of him going down on me had me craving it. “Please. Before you ask if you can, yes, please, whatever you want, whenever you want, you can do it.”
He chuckled against my thigh, brushed his mouth up my legs, and then he was there.
Tongue flicking out, lips wrapping around me, he played with my bundled nerves and made me feel so good it almost hurt from the pleasure barreling through me.
He kept a grip on my thigh so I could barely move and slid his tongue down and back and then in . “Oh God,” I groaned, bucking against him.
It felt divine. It was heaven and sunshine and terrifying storms and perfection. So amazingly perfect, I shoved my head against the pillow, fisted the sheets beneath me, and enjoyed every torturous minute of the experience until it could no longer be contained.
My thighs shook, heat swarmed me from my core to my toes, and then I came.
It was otherworldly. Like I’d been thrown off a cliff and caught up in the air. It felt like flying and a dizzying drop to nowhere. Light burst behind my closed lids and my body rolled with the force of it.
It felt unending and all-beginning. It was all-encompassing and consuming, and it seemed to last forever, so much longer than in the shower, and when I finally came to, Gavin was still there, satisfied smirk on his face, lapping up my wetness before he kissed my thighs and climbed back over me.
“I can’t move,” I admitted, limp and boneless and so satisfied I wasn’t sure I was awake.
“Good.” He curled me into his arms and kissed my head. “Then you have to sleep here.”
I laughed and kissed his shoulder. “Are you... do you need…?”
Hopefully soon, I’d grow bolder to take without asking, but I liked that he didn’t care I was hesitant or nervous or new.
“I needed to do that and nothing else. Go to sleep, Penny. We’ve had a long day and a longer day coming tomorrow.”
Where’d I have to go to school, teach his daughter, and probably face down Faye all while pretending the only place I didn’t want to be was right here, wrapped up in Gavin.
“I’m going to tell her tonight,” Gavin said through the phone. “And if she’s okay with it, I’d like you to come over for cake and ice cream.”
It was Josie’s actual birthday, but since the family celebrated her last weekend with me, Gavin declared this night was only for them.
He was anxious to tell Josie, tired of our porch kisses and sneaking around with conversations and text messages.
“Are you sure?”
He chuckled. “Not backing down now, Penny. Be ready for a text later, okay?”
I rolled my lips together and breathed through my nerves. “Okay. Either way, let me know.”
He chuckled like I had nothing to be worried about. I probably didn’t. Josie bounced into my classroom every day and treated me no differently than any other teacher. I might have hung out with her in public occasionally, but she seemed to understand the difference in how we interacted given the circumstances.
“I will, Pen. Talk soon.”
We ended the call, and I dropped my phone to the side. Gavin called me shortly after I got home from school. I had hours to go before he’d see Josie. He was working out at the neighborhood he was helping build and usually worked until it was too dark to do anything else. He might have owned the company and had a half-dozen workers, but he was there every day, working alongside them. Usually coming home with drywall dust in his hair or specks of dried spackle on his arms.
I did the only thing I could do to help pass the time and work out my nerves.
I stress cleaned.
And then I texted my sister.
Gavin is telling Josie about us tonight.
Rock on. About time.
I rolled my eyes. Did no one seem to realize how new this was? It wasn’t us together, it was the speed we were moving, the quickness with which we were falling.
That was what concerned me for Josie’s sake.
My phone pinged again, and I glanced down.
You’re nervous for nothing and I can tell so don’t say you aren’t. It’ll be fine. Josie adores you.
I adore her.
Which is why this is good. Put down your dust rag and relax.
I glanced at the rags on my counter and my vacuum I hadn’t yet put away.
How’d you know?
I got an eye roll response.
By the way, you heard from Mom lately?
No. Why?
When it came to Mom, no news was usually good news. Hearing from her meant she needed help. But Maize rarely asked about her.
Because it’s the holidays and she always hits you up for money this time of year.
Not true.
Bullshit. Stop giving it to her, especially now that you don’t need to take care of me.
True to her word, I’d received an email from her university saying I should receive a return for the winter tuition I’d already paid before Maize switched over her finances with them. It was going to be thousands of dollars I got back, and it’d help me immensely. I could finally look for a new car, one that wasn’t a decade-plus-old and that could handle the snow better than my tiny Sentra.
But this was Mom. Our mom. And while Maize and I never seemed to agree on the kind of mom she was, she was still the only mom we had.
I don’t think we should talk about this.
That’s because you know I’m right, and before we get into an argument, consider this. Think of Jenny, or even Faye and Dolly. Would they treat their kids like Mom treats us? And do you think they’d ever ask, and demand, money from their kids? I know you love her, but taking care of her isn’t your job, either. Not when she doesn’t give back.
Before I could text her back, argue with her, although in this case, she was probably right, she texted again.
I love you, that’s all, and I don’t want you taken advantage of because you’re so kind. I’ll get back to studying and let you go back to stress cleaning.
I snorted.
Love you, Maize.
Always and to the moon.
I reread her texts and replayed the hundreds of conversations about Mom we’d had and ended up disagreeing on. She was right, to an extent, but she was our mom.
If she needed help, it wasn’t my place to deny her if there was a chance she could someday figure out a way to take better care of herself. That was why I did what I did because I still held hope. Until the time came that hope withered and died, I didn’t mind clinging to it.
Even if she wasn’t going to win any Great Mother of the Year awards.
My phone pinged again, and I glanced at it, expecting to see Maize’s name, but it wasn’t her.
Gavin
Josie’s demanding you come over right this very second.
He’d told her. Already? I glanced at the time and flinched. Dang. My stress cleaning had lasted hours.
All for nothing apparently.
Because she’s excited?
She’s tugging on her boots and coat right this very minute to go get you because you’re taking too long.
I took that as a yes.
He also wasn’t exaggerating. By the time I grabbed my phone, slipped into boots, and gathered my own coat, Josie was already on the sidewalk across the street from me.
“Come on, Miss Pesco! You have to come eat with us!”
“I’m hurrying as fast as I can,” I shouted back and turned to lock my door. That done, I tugged on my coat while rushing down the driveway and jogging across the street.
As soon as I reached her, Josie flung her arms around my waist and squeezed me tight. “This is the best birthday present ever! Even if Daddy didn’t get me a puppy like Goldie, I’m so happy that he told me you two are boyfriend and girlfriend. You have to come have cake and ice cream and celebrate with us.”
She kept holding on, vibrating with excitement, and showed no intention of moving anytime soon.
I laughed and ran my hand down the back of her head. “How about we do that and get inside then so your ears don’t get cold?”
“They won’t. It’s impossible to be cold when you’re this happy!”
Tears sparked my eyes, happy tears that made the moonlight shimmer and Gavin’s truck blur in the distance.
“Come on.” I unwrapped her arms from me and held her hand. “Even happy people can be cold.”
“Doubt it,” she sang. She danced along the sidewalk, purple boots clip-clopping away on the cement, and pulled me along behind her until we were walking up to her front door, where Gavin stood, holding it open for us.
“Told you.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek as Josie bent down and removed her boots.
“Fine, you’re right,” I said back. “Happy now?”
“Yeah.” He grinned and his whole face lit up. “I am happy.”
Well, I suppose that said it all, didn’t it?