Chapter 2 #2
My heart sinks. I know he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart, but…
“Max, I appreciate your help, but it would be nice if you included me in decisions in my own shop. Also, I can’t afford him. I haven’t been to the café in over a month. I’m not sure how it’s doing.”
His eyes soften. “Perdón, I didn’t mean to impose.
” He cups my cheeks. “The café is doing well. I’ve made sure of it.
You mentioned you would like to go back to school soon.
I wanted to make sure you had all the help you needed, and I know you’re going through so much”—he points to my head— “in that brain of yours. The last thing I want you to worry about is something I can help with.”
I sigh. “Max, don’t apologize. I know your intentions are good. It’s just me.” Slipping my hands around his neck, I pull my weight to lie on his hard body. “I’m just overwhelmed. I need to get some fresh air and keep my brain busy. I love you for being my rock. You always have.”
His lips brush against mine. “I love you. You’re my whole damn world. How about you shower, and we’ll go to the café?” He pats my butt. “How does that sound?”
“I would like that. Are you going to work? At your surveillance company?” He has neglected that job as well and decided to work from home.
“I’ll do some work at home in my office.”
Figures he would say that. “Okay.”
Max rolls me over onto the bed. “Go shower. I’ll take a quick one in the other bathroom.” Max doesn’t see my frown. I know he’s avoiding intimacy for very good reasons. He thinks I’m not ready. My mental health is struggling, but my body has healed. I’m no longer sore, and my arm is fine.
Throwing the silk sheets off me, I grab a pair of leggings and a shirt and head to the shower while Max does the same, walking to the bathroom down the hall.
How is it you can long for a person and, at the same time, want to give them the space they deserve?
My smile grows as we park at the café. God, I missed it here.
The second we walk in, Isabella’s face glows with a grin spreading across it. “Mija.” She runs to me, wrapping her arms around me in a warm, comforting hug. She always gives the best ones, like a mother figure. “I’m so happy to see you’re doing better. You have given us quite a scare, sweetheart.”
The store is booming with customers. Everything looks perfect.
I see stacks of new books and a sign that reads Spicy Books and another that reads Book Boyfriend Material.
They certainly have it down. I didn’t even think of that.
I missed the amazing aroma of baked goods and the lingering smell of coffee.
“I’m happy to be back. I’ve missed you.”
Isabella had been to the hospital many times and had also checked on me at Max’s. But being in the workspace with her is everything.
“Missed you, mija,” she says with a grin.
“So, how has the place been holding up? Max mentioned he hired two employees, plus a pastry chef.”
She places her hand on the small of my back, guiding me behind the counter. “The café is doing well. Yes, we had to hire, we’re so busy. Wait until you see!”
I follow her gaze across the room. Max walks out from the back wearing an apron.
He looks ridiculous, but at the same time, hot.
How can he look so incredible in anything?
He struts out so nonchalantly, like he’s done this a million times.
His biceps bulge from the shirt he’s wearing, which grips him like a vise.
My heart melts, and the tingling between my thighs erupts.
He grins at my biting lip, and in the blink of an eye, he turns into a broody man, giving orders to the employees.
“He’s been a pleasure to have around; he’s such a sweetheart. My husband came to meet him, and I think he has a man crush.” She laughs. “I have some chisme for you,” Isabella whispers.
I snort. “What’s the gossip?”
“Max is the perfect marketing tool. Women have been lining up at the door to buy a book along with a coffee and a warm dessert. Whispers circulate the room, saying he’s the perfect book boyfriend.
Also, men who love him as a boxer come in for a treat and get his autograph.
He’s done great.” She fans herself. “You’re a lucky lady. ”
She’s right. Everyone keeps telling me. He is an amazing man in my life. A line forms at the door. Some are on their tiptoes trying to see the broody man in the back stocking pan dulce. The two new girls he hired have hearts in their eyes as he instructs them on where the bread goes.
“Raineyyy, you’re here.” A loud, hyper voice pierces my hearing from behind.
I spin on my heels to meet Leo’s open arms. He squeezes me into his embrace. I squeeze him just as tight. I’ve grown to love Leo.
“How’s the noggin?”
“It’s like I have a game of Scrabble living in my head.”
Leo frowns, making him look childlike, which is adorable. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But life molds and strengthens us, and some of us see a future while others can’t see past the tunnel.”
We move to get away from the line that’s wrapping around tables. What in the actual fuck! It’s like they’re coming to see a model.
My gaze veers back to Leo. “What do you see in your future?” I ask.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
His dimples indent. “I don’t see a future. I live day by day.”
Now it’s my turn to frown. “Maybe you feel this way because you haven’t found the one.”
He laughs and points at the bookshelf behind him. “Life is not always a novel, Rainey. I’ve flipped through some of those pages when I helped stock.” He shakes his head. “What’s in it is…crazy.”
“You’re getting off the subject, Leo. I think you’re blocking the light.”
Always trying to help others. Always trying to fix them. And I can’t even fix myself.
“Even in the darkest moments, I’ve never been alone.
The gym gave me a place to land. Max, Xander, and you gave me a reason to stay.
You are all my family.” Leo glances at Max across the room.
He sees a brother. Max would say the same.
“But that warm glow only reaches so far ahead. That traditional path—the spouse, the children, the suburban dream—remains in the shadows. It’s invisible to me.
An unwritten chapter. One I’m not sure I’ll ever find my way to. ”
My heart clenches. I just want to hug this man who always wears a smile. “I think maybe you’re not looking hard enough. Don’t you want the picket fence, children, and wife?”
He shrugs. “Never thought of it. I used to think being dead was better than living a fucked-up life. How about you, Rainey? What do you see in your future?” Leo juts his chin toward Max.
I have to swallow hard at this. “I’m unsure.
I once saw family, love, a husband, and kids one day, but now…
just like you, I see unwritten pages…pages that don’t end with a happily ever after.
” Every string in my heart tugs. To admit this hurts.
Memories of a future with the man I love had been in my head and heart.
Ever since all those truths surfaced, it’s hard to look ahead.
Max deserves a better life than I can ever give him.
“He sees the whole nine yards with you. He loves you.”
“I know he does,” I say, my voice low, my insides breaking. “I can’t give him the love he needs. I’ll ruin him,” I whisper, and a single tear threatens to fall, but I wipe it in time. “How can I give him everything he deserves when I don’t know who I am?”
Leo rests his hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
I don’t know why I’m pouring my heart out to him, but something about Leo gives me the feeling I can trust him.
“We all have weak moments. If you have to venture on your own to find Rainey or Sol, he’ll always be waiting for you.
Just don’t make him wait too long. He’s a pain in the ass when you’re not in his life. ” He gives me a weak laugh.
“I’m not going to leave—”
“You left before. This is why he’s been a helicopter boyfriend. He has a gut feeling.”
“He told you?” My brows scrunch.
Leo chews on the side of his lip. “No, of course not. I just see it.”
He has been a helicopter boyfriend. Does he think I’m going to leave him? Maybe that’s why he hasn’t shown any sign of intimacy. He hasn’t even gotten hard under the covers.
Maybe he sees it. That I’m not what he needs right now. He has a fight to prepare for.