Chapter 3 #2
My fight is exactly fourteen days from now. Carlos is livid about my lack of training. I can’t summon the strength to care—all I can think about is her—to be close to Rainey. “I’ll work out at my place at the pool house while you swim.” It’s not the same. I need someone to spar with.
“Good. I want you to be ready for this fight you have been preparing for. It seems like a lifetime ago when you were sitting on the balcony porch watching a boxing match, dreaming of one day it would be you.”
I laugh just thinking about that night when she crunched so loudly I couldn’t hear, which led to an argument.
“You’re right, tesoro. I’ve been waiting a lifetime for this moment.
To have you by my side.” That’s my truth.
I’ve been waiting for her to be by my side since the day I went professional.
She has always been my reason and will always be the star I reach for.
I knew right there and then, when I stared into Sol’s eyes, she would be the person I wanted to fight for, to battle beside in this shitty world.
But now, staring at the woman who’s captured my heart completely, I see only fortress walls rising between us, mortared so thick and towering so high that I fear I’ll never find my way inside.
The harder I climb, the thicker and taller the walls she’s built.
My greatest fear is losing her once again.
The doors to my pool house stand wide open.
My fist connects with the leather, sending the bag swinging.
I’m mid-combination when she surfaces. I hold the bag still.
Just for a second as the water runs off her shoulders.
Her emerald swimsuit catches the sunlight when she turns.
Then I remember what I’m supposed to be doing.
I shift my stance, throw two quick punches, angling for a better view instead of focusing on my form.
She steps out of the pool, shaking out the water in her hair, and Daisy sunbathes on a chair.
Throwing another punch, I ignore the blood rushing in my shorts. Rainey bends to get her towel, and the bikini bottom rides higher. Her ass is in perfect display, and all I can think about is having her bent while I…
Nope. Cut that shit out, Max. She’s going through so much. The last thing she needs is for me to screw her all over the house.
Cálmate, estúpido. Calm down, stupid.
I turn, giving her my back, and continue hitting for another twenty minutes. Sweat trickles down my face. I take off my glove to grab a clean towel. My phone has been ringing for the last thirty minutes.
“Hello.”
“Are you alive?”
“Carlos—”
“Fuck, Max, why are you so hard to reach?”
I sigh into the phone at Carlos. Nothing new. He’s pissed. “I was a little busy hitting the bag and training.”
“Why not come to the gym? We have a lot of work to do. You’re fucking up, man. Time’s ticking.”
“I can’t leave her.”
He cuts me off. “Max, she can come here or hang out with Vanessa at the house.”
“It’s not that simple.” Well, at least to me it’s not. He didn’t have to go through Nessa being abducted. I had to see Rainey’s life flash before my eyes twice. I saw her heart rate fading… I almost lost her.
“Sure it is. Nothing is going to happen to her if she’s in the gym with you.”
“She’s going through a lot. She doesn’t need to see violence. I don’t need anything triggering her. I’m training at home.”
“I understand, Max. I can have Vanessa take her shopping, or maybe they can do some girl shit at home.” He sighs, clearly frustrated with me.
“You have worked hard to get here. I don’t want you to miss your chance.
” The click and clink of the pistachios against the glass jar fill the quiet space between us.
After a long pause, I respond. “It’s no longer my priority. She is, and if I have to give it up to keep my woman safe, I’ll do it.”
Soft hands wrap around my waist, spinning me around to face her.
Fuck, how much did she hear?
“I’ll call you back, Carlos.” I click the line before he responds and give my attention to my girl, who’s frowning at me and a little pissed. Her hair is damp, and she’s changed into black shorts and a white tank top.
“How was your swim?” I ask, running my fingers through her hair.
“You.” She points. “Are. Not. Leaving. Boxing.” She drops her hands. “Do you hear me?”
“How much did you hear?”
“Enough, Max!” she shouts. “Enough to know you haven’t been training, going to your own job, not leaving the house. You’re gone for only three hours, only because you’re at my café. You’ve kept me cooped up in the house. You love boxing.”
Gingerly, I cradle her face. “I love you.”
“And I love you, honey. You’re allowed to love the sport. You live and breathe boxing.” She releases my hands from her face. “Why did you say you can’t leave me so you can train? I don’t need a babysitter, Max.”
Rainey will not be happy that I hired Johnny and Gary again.
“You’re still healing, sunshine. I just can’t leave you.” How do I tell her I’m scared of her dying on me when I’m not there to save her? I lost my mom, and my dad is MIA. I don’t know where he ran off to.
“What is it? What are you not telling me?”
I close my eyes when her hands rub the side of my face, framing it. Damn, do I love her touch.
“Is Daniel still after us? Me?”
“No, he’s not. I squared things off with him. I met with him while you were at the hospital, and I let him know we didn’t rat him out.”
A loud exhale leaves her lips. “Well, that’s good to hear. He reminds me of a Doberman with a pinch of golden retriever in him. He’s a cruel son of a bitch, but there’s a possibility of him having a soft side.”
My brows compress. “Did you develop Stockholm syndrome? Do you have a soft spot for him? Did you two have dinner together?” I’m confused. How in the hell would that man have a soft spot?
“Oh god, Max, now you’re being ridiculous.
I’m just saying it could have been worse; he could have let his men…
touch me, but he didn’t. He said he doesn’t allow his men to hurt women and children.
For some reason, he has a soft spot for you.
” Her head tilts to the side, and her arms cross over her chest. “We are getting off track, Max, so tell me, why can’t you leave me alone so you can do your normal routine? ”
I rake my fingers through my damp hair, looking away from her.
“I can’t shake this fear,” I whisper, the words barely audible, even to myself.
“That someone might steal you away again, that they’ll hurt you.
These memories—they don’t fade. They play on repeat, like they’re happening all over again. ”
Rainey’s head drops, staring at her feet. “At the foster home, when I hit my head…does that still give you flashbacks?”
Lifting her chin with my index finger, I meet her beautiful eyes. “It did for a long time until I saw you again at the high school. The solace of knowing that you were fine was a relief. You don’t understand, tesoro. I can’t fathom something happening to you.”
Tears roll down her cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize. You have nothing to be sorry about.
” With my thumb, I wipe her wet eyelashes.
Daisy runs to Rainey’s side and growls at me.
Since the accident, Daisy has been on the lookout for any signs of distress in Rainey.
She’s very protective of her. “I’m not hurting her.
I’m wiping her tears, girl.” Daisy then nuzzles my leg.
“I’m sorry you are going through this, Max, but I’m going through the same, only worse. My body is healed, although the inside of my head and my heart aren’t, and I can’t stay at home. It’s not healthy for me to live with my thoughts.”
She’s right. I can’t keep her locked up as much as I wish I could, because of my fear of losing her. “May I make a suggestion?”
She bites her top lip. “What do you have in mind? If you say Johnny and Gary, the answer is no.”
Fuck. That was one idea, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right? As long as she’s safe. “I need to teach you self-defense, Rain.”
She stares at me.
“Boxing.”
Her hands go up in the air. “Max,” she whines.
“Don’t fight me on this. Please.”
“Eres tan molesto.” Her nostrils flare in displeasure.
The tightness in my chest loosens, and a laugh erupts from my chest. Damn, I missed her banter in Spanish. As kids, we used to tell jokes to one another. It was nice because no one understood us.
“Me annoying? Never,” I tease her. “But gracias amor.”
A lopsided smile curves across her lips. She tries to hide it.
“How about we get you wrapped up and ready?” I drop a kiss on that smile. “Thank you for doing this for me.” Another kiss. “I love you, Sol.” She goes still. So do I.
Her smile vanishes. Sol. She hasn’t been Sol since the day she lost her memory. I haven’t called her Sol since then. We haven’t talked about what name she wants to go by. Hell, we haven’t talked about much because she avoids it.
She gave me memories of that innocent young girl.
I love both versions of her. This is the first time I have uttered those words.
I love you, Sol. It’s always I love you, Rainey or Sunshine, but to many it might seem I’m thinking of another woman.
To me, I’ll love the young girl who numbed the ache in my chest, who befriended me when few did.
She became my best friend and cared for me when no one else did.
In return, I took every belt buckle, hit, kick, and punch for her.
I’d do it again in a heartbeat to keep her innocence.
When I met Rainey in high school, she was beautiful, intelligent, and still the same outspoken girl.
When she kissed me, it felt as if it awakened my soul.
Now the woman at the cabin is who I fell in love with.
Yes, I loved her as a kid, having a crush, but this was where I fell in love with the woman I wanted forever.
I will always love both versions of her. She will always be my forever.