Chapter 11 #2
Instantly, his eyes go into slits, and a growl vibrates out of him.
Like father, like son. They look identical, even their mannerisms. “I know I’ve done wrong with my son.
Especially now, with a clear head, the view before me is entirely different.
I feel every ounce of pain I have caused him, but to know others have mistreated him makes me want to go feral and beat down every son of a bitch.
And that includes myself.” For the rest of his life, he will have to live with his guilt, and that itself is the biggest sentence anyone could get.
My stomach grumbles like I didn’t just eat a double cheeseburger with fries dipped in barbecue sauce. That was two hours ago.
“Come on. Let’s get you something to eat. I’m a little hungry myself.”
We walk into the big cafeteria dining hall.
A long metal sandwich cart gleams under lights at the center of the room, surrounded by a small crowd of families.
In the back corner is the cafeteria, where the menu reads grilled chicken, seasoned green beans, and mashed potatoes, including a freshly baked roll.
The smell of the chicken stings my nose.
“Let’s have a sandwich. The crinkle of your nose tells me you would prefer that.”
I didn’t mean to make a face. The food looks amazing, but it’s just me. “I’m just getting over the flu. I’ve been queasy these past days. But a sandwich sounds refreshing.”
Two bites in and I already want to throw up. Hector’s bologna with mayo sandwich is grossing me the fuck out. Especially when they slopped it on his bread. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love mayo, but this bug is messing with me.
Hector’s gaze stays pinned on me. “How long have you been sick?” he asks, studying me.
I shrug. “I don’t know. It feels like a long time. I have been stressed, and my head is not screwed on right, so it can be a little of everything. They say stress can do a lot of damage.” And a heartbreak.
“?Estás embarazada?”
My head juts back so fast that I almost fall off the bench. “I’m not pregnant.” My hand swings to my chest, gripping my shirt. No. I can’t be. I shake my head repeatedly. “No,” I say softly.
He sets his half-eaten sandwich on his plate.
“I remember when my wife was pregnant. She was glowing, and everything grossed her out.” He laughs like he’s remembering.
“She never had a problem with morning breath, but in her first trimester, she was having a hard time.” He shakes his head.
“She didn’t tell me it bothered her when I would roll over to kiss her.
Her face gave it away. So, I made sure to brush my teeth before she woke.
” He speaks of Marabel as if she were his lifeline.
Perhaps she is—to the point it drove him mad.
Hector scoots the plate to the side. Now I feel bad. “It seems you might just have the symptoms. Your face is glowing.”
Lana did say my face was glowing. My mind scrambles to recall the date of my last period, but I draw a blank. Meanwhile, my right leg won’t stop jittering. I did have a period after the accident.
Ay Dios mío, I can’t even think straight.
I’m not on birth control. And he pulled out sometimes when we would remember. Fuck. It’s a possibility I am.
Hector gently taps my laced hands. “It’s okay. Everything will be fine. Max will be happy.”
The sandwich regurgitates up my esophagus, but I take a sip of water and push it all down. No, it won’t be fine. I want to say I left your son so he can have a better life. Now what the hell am I going to do if I am?
The drive back felt endless. Two and a half hours alone with my thoughts and a question I wasn’t ready to answer.
I called Lana on the way back and mentioned everything Hector said.
I even looked it up, and it all aligned.
Lana was waiting for me at the house with five different tests, and thank God, Bethany is at my café.
She’s been bugging me to tell her why I broke it off with Max.
I told her to drop it. I’m sure Leo told her because she stopped.
Lana hands me a clear plastic cup as I sit on the toilet in tears.
After peeing in the cup and on a couple of sticks, we wait—the longest two minutes of our lives.
“I don’t know what to do if I am. Like, how would I tell him?
” Or not tell him. How can I break it up, then crawl back? Also, I’m still fucked in the head.
Lana squeezes me into a hug. “Let’s figure it out a little at a time. First, we wait for the results. Then if you are, we soak it all in. Then we plan.”
The alarm rings. Neither of us moves for a moment. Then we walk back together. My heart tightens with a mixture of emotions.
Overwhelmed. Fear. Joy. Love. I’m pregnant.
My poor friend blinks rapidly, mouth half-open, fingers tapping at her sides as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other, gaze darting between my face and the floor.
On autopilot, I pull her into a hug, and Lana’s arms wrap around mine.
I weep and weep. Joy and grief tangled together—because this child belongs to the man I will love for the rest of my life.
Then there’s that part of my heart that’s conflicted about what to do.
I let this man go so he could spread his wings.
I let him go so he wouldn’t stare at his past.
“I’m here for you, Ney. You know that, right? Whatever you want to do, do it. If you want to flee from here, then I’m your girl. I’ll be Thelma, you be Louise.”
I snort. I’m sure there is snot on her shoulder. “Can I be Thelma?” I half joke.
“Of course, but I think I’d be a better Thelma.” I pull back to look her in the eye and make a face. We both laugh. “Jokes aside, babe. Are…we happy?”
“Yes…I’m overjoyed.” I rub my belly. I’m not sure how many weeks I am, but I’m thinking I’m two months at the least. “I just need a day to soak it all in, then I’ll think about what I’m going to do.”
“Good. Congratulations, you’re going to be an amazing mother.” Lana smiles, wrapping a lock of my hair around her finger. “Your baby is going to be gorgeous, considering who the father is. And you’re stunning.”
More tears run down my cheeks.
“Okay…um, let’s not talk about him then.”
“No, it’s not about Max…I mean, it is, but I’m bringing a baby into this world when my brain is scattered.
It’s obviously not a good time, but he or she is coming, and I need to get my shit together.
I’m going to make an appointment with a therapist. I enrolled in college.
I just need to go down there to make a payment.
I’m going to start eating healthy. And I need to learn everything about Sol.
I need to know my history. Where my parents are laid to rest, and my grandmother.
Is she alive, or did she pass? I have a feeling she passed as well.
” That reminds me of the letter from the attorney.
I still haven’t picked it up. Everything keeps moving, whether I’m ready or not.
“I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
I truly have the most amazing best friend. “Thank you.”
Max mentioned wanting kids once, but that was before all this happened.
What if he changed his mind, especially now that he has a busy life?
Everything just became more complicated.
I know what I said to him. Did I expect him to text me or drop in?
Kinda, to be honest. I didn’t think he would give in so easily.
Maybe Carlos was right. It’s what he needed, a break from me.
He saw the real me, the mess I am. I know I can be too much at times.
“I’ll tell him when the time is right.”