Chapter 24
Max
They say alcoholism seeps into your blood through family history like water through soil.
I’ve always been careful—one glass, maybe two, never enough to blur the edges of my world.
Until the night I was at the gym, when we celebrated my victory.
My first real stumble into drunkenness left me raw with shame the next morning, knowing she’d witnessed me unraveled, my careful defenses down.
I should have known better. That kind of vulnerability invites predators.
Annette certainly recognized her opportunity.
Although it was only a photo, I hate it.
The years I’ve spent without Sol were crushing.
I kept myself busy with a goal in mind to build an empire, so when I found her, I’d have Sol seated on the throne instead of drinking myself to misery.
In the last couple of months without her by my side, I’ve done the same, kept busy.
Right now, the cool bottle to my lips and the burning of the bitter alcohol running down my throat is better than being in the company of others.
Carlos once asked me why I still cared for my father after everything he’d done.
He might not understand it, but I do. I pity my father because I know the feeling of losing the one you love repeatedly.
My father has to live with the hollow in his heart for the rest of his life.
So do I, but I know it’s different for him.
God forbid if something were to happen to Sol.
Not being with her, I can still steal glances at her, hear her laughter, see her beautiful smile, hear her voice, but a life without her would burn me alive.
I’ve always been easy on her and forgiving, but this, her being alone with him in his office, I can’t do.
He’s been after her for years. I can understand any other professor who didn’t have the hots for her.
It has me wondering if she’s always had a thing for him?
Why did she feel comfortable speaking and coming to him?
I know I’m not a professor with a doctorate degree, but I know her.
My jaw tightens just thinking of her sitting in the office, both of them eating together while he’s eye fucking her.
The thought has my blood boiling. Still, I think of her.
Is she at her house, thinking of us? Is her heart ripped to shreds as mine is?
I’m sitting here thinking of her smiling at the fucking professor.
I chug the last of the twelve-pack of beer and toss the bottle in the trash when I reach for the handle of the fridge. There’s a knock at the door.
“Open up, asshole.” Drake’s voice comes from the other side of the door.
Goddammit. I’m not in the mood for company.
“I’m coming,” I shout, a little tipsy.
Drake walks in, Xander behind him. Since I introduced them, they have clicked. Xander wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle, so of course, that gave him a major hard-on, and Drake took him to his place to show him his bikes.
Drake scrutinizes me, then peers behind me at the bottles on the counter. “When did the party start? Thanks for the invite.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. I can hear the sarcasm in his voice. “What happened, Max? Sunny called me. She was crying.” His voice is stern like a father scolding.
“I broke it off with her.”
“How is that possible if she dumped you first?” Xander butts in.
“I mean for good. She’s been spending time with her professor.” My voice comes out low and sloppy. My ass hits the soft leather sofa, and I throw my head back.
“Maybe you’re making it more than what it is,” Drake indicates.
“No.” I shake my head. “I’ve thought about it, and I’m not. I’m pissed off at her and hurt. Fuck that. Who wants a traicionera in their life?”
Drake sighs. “I hope you’re not making a big mistake, Max. You know what, I have a buddy. He’s a good guy and always finds these dumbass chicks. Sol would be a good match. She would love him.”
I growl.
“Don’t growl at me. You said you’re done with her. Sol is a good catch. Anyway, how about we head to the strip club? Since you’re so ready to let her go, might as well start now. Get yourself a lap dance or cheap pussy.”
I know Drake is goading me. I don’t want another woman, and all I want is for these fuckers to leave me alone.
“I’m good. Those days are over for me.”
“No shit, that’s because you two are not done.
The thing is, you two will never be. I went to her house when I heard how hysterical she was on the phone.
She cried in my arms until she fell asleep.
She wouldn’t tell me what happened. All she said was she didn’t do anything wrong and that they needed you. ”
They? Of course, Daisy.
I sigh. “Right now, I’m pissed at her. If I’m around her, I’ll say cruel shit like I did hours ago.”
“What did you say?” Xander asks.
Running both hands through my hair, I answer. “Told her I should find Annette and have her on all fours and fuck her.”
Drake curses under his breath, and Xander is looking at me with raised brows.
“Like I said, I was pissed at her and still am. She unraveled her feelings with him as if I were nothing. When I’ve been here waiting for her.”
“Have you though?” Drake barks. “Because Carlos, Henry, and Bob have had you by the balls. I can hardly get a hold of you. I didn’t even know you were going to fight in the Underground again until Xander filled me in.
” He walks to the fridge and pulls out a water bottle.
Twisting the cap, he turns back to me. “Watch your back, Kiddo. It’s been a while since anyone as skilled as you has come along in the boxing industry.
Everyone is looking at you like a meal ticket and/or gunning for you. Especially Carlos.”
I cock my head at him, my brows pinched together. “Carlos has always been my rock. He’s the father I never had.”
Drake rubs his beard. “Remember, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Then you’ll see.”
I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about. When I introduced Carlos to Drake, they really didn’t click. It could be because Drake is rebellious, but then again, so am I.
Drake asked if I wanted to go for a night ride, but I had way too much to drink.
Xander steps out, and Drake lingers at the door.
“She feels guilty.”
Lifting slightly to my side from my back on the sofa, I rest my weight on my elbow, feeling the cushion beneath me sink, as I shift into this half-risen state, to hear what he’s talking about.
“The marks on your back. Sunny thinks it’s her fault and is terrified you’ll resent her one day.
Those memories live in her head. She didn’t tell me, but I think she has this idea that if she did what Jason wanted, then you wouldn’t have been punished for it.
” He shuts the door behind him, leaving those words hanging.
Before Daniel abducted her, she had mentioned my scars were there because of her.
I told her, “Baby, I’d do it in a heartbeat all over again for you.
” Those scars hold no regret but are a token of my love and loyalty to her.
I might have been too young to be in love, but I loved her as a friend and a kid crush.
Now I’ve filled my body with ink, a symbol of the woman who captured my heart and taught me what love truly means.
I have a couple of new tattoos. I know she hasn’t noticed them.
The day I had my fingers buried deep in her pussy, she had been so aroused she didn’t see the name Sol on my knuckles and Love on the other.
As of right now, I’m not sure if my anger will wear off, but what I do know is that I can’t forget how she’s shattered my heart.
On the screen, Sol walks out to her car.
I wish the indoor cameras were working. I knew that if I sent one of my techs to work on them, she might be upset, since she knew I’d keep an eye on her, and I wanted to respect her space.
As long as I could watch her arrive home safely, that’s all that mattered to me.
That was then, and now I realize I need to delete the app from my phone and stop checking on her at work.
I couldn’t get myself to do it. The memories of her always calling me to watch her strip in her office became something I enjoyed, what man wouldn’t?
The ache in my chest deepens from watching her—tears flood her vision as she walks to her car and backs into her mailbox and drives off, leaving the flag on the box hanging down.
A knock comes at my door, and I shut my phone off.
Utah? “Why has she been going there?” She had asked me to go with her to show me something.
Johnny bites his bottom lip. “She’s been visiting a friend at a…umm health center.”
“A health center?” I turn the phrase over. “Come in,” I shout, my voice gruff.
Johnny makes his way in with a scowl on his face. I called him at six a.m. sharp to come to my office. “What is it that you couldn’t wait for? It’s seven a.m., and Gary is on duty. I needed to sleep after having a toddler up all night.”
I adjust the watch on my wrist. “Where has Sol been going and with whom?”
He lifts a shoulder, yawning. “Work, school, doctors’ appointments, therapy, shopping, and Utah.”
Who did she know in Utah who was at a health center? “Is she okay? Is it for her?”
“It’s not for her,” Johnny says carefully.
I prop my elbow on the desk, rub my freshly shaven face, wondering who she’s been visiting. “Who’s the friend?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Who does she go with?”
“Leo’s only gone once with her and the other times alone.” Leo has never mentioned any of this, and I never pried.
I let it go. I shouldn’t have.
“Have you seen her with Alex, her professor?” I ask, jealousy hanging on every word.
An unsettling chuckle comes out of him. “Someone’s jealous,” he quips.
I glare at him, my head still spinning from the amount of alcohol I had, which is not much for someone like me who doesn’t drink regularly. I won’t lie. I do want to crack open a beer right now and forget today and the day after.
“No, Max. You, of all people, should know her better than anyone.”
“I thought I did.” I set my phone face down on the desk. The pulling in my gut had been there since last night. The part of me that knows her, that has always known her, telling me I’d missed something. That I’d swung at the wrong thing. I wasn’t ready to listen to it yet.
Johnny shakes his head. “You’re wrong. Lately, you’ve been so occupied you haven’t noticed anything.”
He’s not the first person to say this to me. Drake said it, but they don’t understand the pressure I’m under. And I’ve never been the type of man to have a lot going on in my life. The spotlight, the interviews, management, social media, and the noise. I just want to fight and have her.
He leaves the office, and I reach for my phone.
I don’t call her.
I continue to keep myself busy, which is the only thing I know how to do when I’m sitting still, and my head is spinning.
Sol
I woke up this morning and lay there for ten minutes before I could make myself move.
The kind of pain that lives in your bones doesn’t announce itself.
It just makes everything heavier. Getting dressed took longer than it should have.
Eating was impossible, but I forced myself.
And I got up. I always get up. If I were not pregnant, I’d curl up in my bed and wither away and not be willing to eat or see daylight.
But I have to keep moving and living with the ache in my heart.
I’m disappointed in Max and hurt. Did I think that Professor Mills would send flowers to my house?
Of course not. Did I give Mills any indication that I was interested in him?
No, but it wouldn’t be the first time. The summer when Max packed up and left, and I returned to school, he was hot on my tail.
It’s been five years, and still, I thought he would respect his boundaries, but apparently not.
Opening the doors to my psychology class, I spot Professor Mills at his desk, retrieving papers from his briefcase.
He looks up when I walk in. Something in his face changed, not surprise exactly, more like a man who has been waiting for a consequence to arrive and is relieved to discuss it.
Class starts in about twenty minutes, and it’s empty.
As I near, I gasp when I spot the huge bruise under his eyes, still red and swollen.
It doesn’t surprise me. Max already paid him a visit.
“Professor,” I say, my voice stern.
He swallows and looks away.
Standing in front of his desk, I point toward him, my hand trembling slightly.
“Look.” I bring my hands to my side. “There’s been a misunderstanding.
I came to you for academic guidance, not…
whatever you thought this was. The flowers at my doorstep?
That crossed a line and was completely unprofessional.
I’ve only ever seen you as my professor, someone whose expertise I respect.
Nothing more.” I hold his gaze. “You ruined my relationship with Max.” My voice holds.
Barely. “And the chance of my child having a family.”
The room goes silent.
He scrutinizes my belly way too long. The shirt I’m wearing is a little snug and shows the roundness. Something in his eyes flickers. Sadness.
“I’m sorry.” He peers at me. “I didn’t know you were pregnant…
” He looks away. “I have fallen in love with you. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but all these years I’ve thought of you.
When I ran into you, my heart leaped to finally see you again.
I wanted to take the opportunity to capture your attention.
It seems your heart had already been captured way before I came along.
Just like he once said, you’re his, and I should have respected that.
” He laughs, then runs a hand over his messy hair.
“I’ll talk to the academic office and see if they can switch you to another class.
I think that would be for the best. Of course, it’s up to you. I will be respectful.”
If I’d known his feelings were this strong, I would not have sought his expertise or his class. He’s a kind man, and I honestly wish he’d find himself a great woman. “I think that would be for the best, Professor.”
He simply nods. “I wish you the best.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, taking a step back. Before I walk out, I say, “I hope you find the kind of love that pulls you in so deep you can’t see straight.”
I don’t wait for his answer. I walk out and let the door close quietly behind me, which feels more final than slamming it ever could.