Chapter 22 #2
She sighed with contentment as she stared into the flickering flames of the bonfire set up next to the lake. The sky was clear, the stars bright and the weather cool enough to need a blanket despite the heat emitting from the fire.
Dayne had resort staff set up the firepit, the chairs, two chilled bottles of wine, along with a boxed dinner from the lodge’s kitchen and everything needed to make s’mores for dessert. Her mouth watered when she learned about the s’mores since she hadn’t had them in years.
Most of the time, they ate dinner in the lodge together, surrounded by dozens of others, and breakfast was shared with his siblings and their significant others at the farmhouse.
So, tonight was a real treat since it was only the three of them enjoying a glass of local wine, great food, and light conversation.
Despite her stomach being full from the dinner expertly prepared by Danica’s cooks, Cara accepted a metal skewer from Dayne. He’d already jammed an oversized marshmallow on the end.
Cara glanced to her left and took in Heath’s strong profile.
His Adirondack chair was butted up against hers and Buttons snuggled in his lap.
He stared into the fire with his lips slightly curled at the ends.
In one hand, he held his roasting stick over the fire and used the other to mindlessly stroke her dog’s ears and back.
Buttons was in Heaven whenever she came to the farm. Her Boston Terrier loved all the attention, not only from “Aunt” Dani, but Dayne and Heath as well as all of the resort employees and guests.
Dayne, holding his own long metal stick, set the container of graham crackers and chocolate nearby before settling into his seat to Cara’s right with a groan. He stretched out his long legs. “Man, I haven’t made s’more since I was a kid. We’ll have to do this more often.”
More often.
There seemed to be no end in sight for the three of them. But right now, they were living weekend to weekend without discussing the future.
Of course, they hadn’t set out to forge a permanent relationship. Despite it starting out solely about sex, somewhere along the way, it had grown into something deeper. But, again, none of them brought it up. They allowed this connection to simmer below the surface.
In truth, she had no idea what Dayne and Heath thought about their triad. Did they simply want to continue on as it was until it petered out? What if it never dwindled? What if their bond only grew stronger?
Of course, being burned in the past made her cautious about entering into another serious relationship and she had a feeling that Heath felt the same way due to his ugly divorce.
And as for Dayne…
She had no idea where his thoughts lie. While he was an open book, most of his pages were blank.
Since they lived separate lives during the week, maybe the current state of their relationship was the perfect scenario for both men.
She would love to spend more time with them, so it wasn’t as perfect for her. During the week, she not only looked forward to their shared weekends, but her heart didn’t feel whole.
One night, while she laid in bed at home with Buttons curled against her side, she realized why.
She had fallen in love with both of them .
After Glenn, she hoped to be able to love and trust again, but never in her wildest dreams did she think her love would be shared between two men. But here she was, enjoying a peaceful night sandwiched between the men she loved.
Maybe she could spur some conversation to see if either, or both, had any thoughts on their future. Though, at this point, she’d keep her feelings to herself since she didn’t want to pressure either of them into saying anything they don’t mean.
She rotated her marshmallow to brown it evenly. “What a perfect night. If a year ago, you had told me I’d be sitting in front of a fire at a sex resort roasting marshmallows, I would’ve thought you had booked a one-way ticket on the crazy train.”
“I’d have to agree with that,” Heath said on a chuckle. “Came for the sex, stayed for the s’mores.”
That’s it? He stayed for the s’mores?
Dayne snorted. “Well, you know how we go above and beyond for our guests.”
“But we’re no longer guests,” Cara reminded him, hoping that would be a good opening.
“You’re my personal guests.”
“Is that all we are?” Cara asked Dayne.
“Of course not.” He extended the hand not holding the stick between them.
When Cara clasped it, he gave it a slight squeeze before interlocking their fingers.
It was awkward assembling her s’more with one hand, but she didn’t want to let Dayne go to do so.
She tried again. “I have to thank you both for everything you’ve done for me in the last few months. For showing me I can trust men again and helping me come out of my sexual shell. Even treating me like a queen by spoiling me.” Her eyes flicked to Heath’s lap. “And, of course, accepting Buttons.”
“You don’t have to keep thanking us, sweetheart.” Heath squeezed her blanket-covered knee. “Doing so was our pleasure. Literally.”
Dayne smirked. “Lots and lots of pleasure.”
“Neither of you had to invest so much time in me,” she continued. “You did it willingly and, Dayne, you gave up the guests available at your disposal to concentrate on us.”
“It wasn’t a sacrifice. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to. Plus, I love seeing you flourish. I’d say that’s the best revenge after what happened between you, your rotten friend, and your ex.”
“Maybe my former friend did me a favor by sleeping with him. I might have stayed, despite the shitty sex, if Glenn hadn’t cheated.
I can’t deny the betrayal was painful at first but, sitting here tonight, I can now say I’m grateful.
She’s now stuck with that shitty sex and”—she squeezed Dayne’s hand while pointing a smile at Heath—”I’m not. ”
Truthfully, she’d never had a man cherish and respect her as much as Dayne and Heath do.
She dangled the carrot next. “Even so, I’m going to be a lot more careful if and when I choose to ever settle down again.”
“Same,” Heath grumbled. “I said it before and I’m going to say it again: I never want to go through another divorce.
I’ve spent too much time and energy trying to recover from all of the financial and emotional damage.
Though, I have to admit, I’m finally getting there with the help of you two.
I also can’t ignore the fact she finally got married again last month and I no longer have that insane alimony check as a monthly reminder. ”
“I’m sure that’s a relief.” Dayne released her hand so he could tuck his burnt marshmallow between two graham crackers and a piece of a chocolate bar. After taking a big bite, he moaned as he chewed. “Damn, that’s good. Almost as good as your pussy, Cara.”
“I’m not sure what to do with that compliment.” Despite teasing him, she was disappointed neither man tried to take a bite of that carrot. “Would you ever marry again, Heath?”
It took him a few seconds to respond. “I don’t know.”
“What about having children?”
When he turned to face her, the firelight reflecting off his face deepened the shadows of his furrowed brow.
“Since I’m forty-five, it would be something I’d have to consider soon.
I wouldn’t want to be the oldest father at my kid’s graduation.
Plus, who wants to be changing diapers and running after toddlers in their fifties? ”
“Plenty of men do it,” Dayne said.
“I’d never say never. I’m just relieved I didn’t have any with my ex. That might have made our divorce an even bigger disaster and force me to be tied to her for years.” He shuddered dramatically.
“But if you did, you would have loved them no matter what,” Cara said.
“Of course.”
She waited for him to expand on that, but instead, he went back to eating his s’more. “Dayne?”
“What?”
“What about you?”
“Yes, I could eat another s’more,” he answered.
She clicked her tongue. “I’m asking about marriage and children.”
“Oh.” He sighed. “I don’t know. I kind of like how my life is now.”
“Nothing could improve it? ”
“Oh, plenty could improve it, but I’m not sure marriage and children would fit that bill.”
“So, you never want to settle down?”
He stared at her. “Why are you asking?”
“I’m only curious. You said you’ve had relationships in the past, but nothing serious. I understand why Heath and I would be gun shy about it, but what’s stopping you?”
“Nothing is stopping me except personal choice. Marriage and children aren’t for everyone. But like Heath, I’d never say never.”
Then he stopped talking and concentrated on lighting his next marshmallow on fire.
She mentally sighed.
Maybe now wasn’t the right time to talk about their future and what it meant for the three of them. While she didn’t want to keep pushing them and ruin the evening, if this relationship kept continuing on its current path, it would need to be addressed at some point.