Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
North
When our feet touch the Sanctuary ground, I wait until Gryphon has eased the sickness in Oli before I take her hand and lead her away from the group for a moment.
My eyes roam over every inch of her that I can see to check for wounds, but she was guarded closely while we were there, and there isn’t a scratch or bruise to be found.
Her eyes are bright as she looks me over the same way, a soft smile on her face, and I move to wipe a smear off of her cheek.
It’s just a small spatter of blood, but I don't want her to see and get upset when she returns home.
I want nothing more than to fix every last one of these problems so I never have to see that anguish on her face ever again.
“How are you feeling? Tell me the truth, Bonded,” I say.
Her smile turns into a grin and she bounces on her heels. “I should probably feel bad about how good I feel, shouldn't I? They were just regular souls, so I feel as though I've just slept for a month straight, and I'm ready for more. More hunting, I mean. I only wish we'd found that god-bond.
I nod my head, stripping my helmet and gloves off before throwing them on the ground, careless for once in my life because nothing matters to me except this perfect girl standing in front of me.
“I can't go back up to the house with you just yet. There's something I need to do first, but I need you to go up there and be safe.”
Her eyebrows furrow for a moment, but she nods her head, leaning forward to press her hands against my chest as the others begin to murmur behind us. I want to tell her before I do it, but I don't want to start another argument with any of them either.
Instead, I lean forward to press our foreheads together and then send through just to her, I'm going down to speak to the god-bond.
I'm going to offer it something to get more information out of it, and when I'm done with that, I'm going to have a meeting with the rest of the council.
I need you to know that I'm getting rid of it.
I'm done with that. Our people are done with that.
Her eyes widen, but she doesn't pull away from me, instead leaning in even further, like she's trying to crawl under my skin.
It makes me want to scream, not at her, but at everything else for keeping us apart.
All I want to do is lift her into my arms and carry her back up to my office, lay her out on my desk, and eat her out for days.
Worship her in the ways that only I can.
I'm a selfish and terrible man, but I want to lock the door and have her all to myself for as long as she will let me.
If that's what you think is best. Just promise me that no one is going to try and stab you in the middle of the night for suggesting such a thing. That will definitely make my bond cranky.
I smile at her. As if anyone could get past all of us. As if anyone would try, Bonded.
She shrugs and then leans up on her tippy-toes to kiss me, a simple press of our lips together. But the moment she touches me, my control snaps. My arms band around her waist as I deepen the kiss, ignoring the groans behind me.
“We’re out in the open! You’re the one who calls the rest of us out for that,” Atlas snaps, and I find myself acting completely out of character when I do nothing more than lift a finger up to him, flipping him off.
I enjoy the giggle that Oli lets out at my expense. When she breaks away from me, breathing hard and her eyes twinkling, I glance over to find Kieran standing with his back to us both, his fingers in his ears as though he's trying to completely remove himself from this situation.
The savage look on Gryphon's face explains why, but Nox is staring at Oli with the sort of hunger that he only just allows himself to show around her, and it tempts me to abandon my plans and just drag her upstairs instead.
She gives me a coy smile, patting my chest for a minute. “We have time, Bonded. We have a whole lifetime ahead of us. Go and do what you need to do. I will wait for you back home.”
She's the perfect Bonded for me and for everyone else, there's no question of that.
* * *
I wasn't expecting the cells underneath the Tac Training Center to fill up so quickly with people that we can’t process because of their relationship to my Bonded Group.
As I walk down the long hallway, still covered in the blood and gore of the Wasteland, I peer into each of the cells at the people that are our biggest issues to work through at the moment.
Gryphon’s mom is in one of them.
Aurelia is in another, and Jericho is rooming next to her.
They stare back at me with varying levels of distrust as I walk past them, their eyes tracing over the filthy Tac uniform I’m wearing, a clear indicator of where I’ve been today and the lives I’ve taken.
Gryphon's mom stands from the bed and walks over to the glass, pressing her hand against it as she stares at me with distrust written all over her.
I would rather not have this confrontation with her right now, but I know how much she means to Gryphon and Kyrie.
The fact that she had brought Oli's parents’ ashes home without question for her son, even when the General had tried to refuse, also makes my steps slow a little.
I bite my tongue and step forward to speak with her.
“Are there any other survivors? Anyone at all?”
I shake my head, the corners of my mouth turned down in disgust, but I try not to let it show, another concession. I shouldn't have to hide the repulsion I have for this woman, but I do it for Gryphon.
“Why did you go? You could have stayed here, just refused to leave the house. He would still be here raging about it, and the rest of those people would be here too.”
It's not fair of me to say. The entire catastrophe that has taken place isn't exactly her fault, but some of the blame can be laid at her feet. With no one else left to share that burden, it’s placed all on her.
She sighs, looking thirty years older than she had only a week ago. “No, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t listen to me about this. He never did. I can have all the regrets in the world about what happened, but he never would listen.”
Her eyes fill up with tears, and I have a sinking feeling in my chest. I've seen Bonds lose their Central before.
I've seen it a lot, unfortunately. They turn into an empty shell. You can see that the person left behind has had everything good sucked out of them. All their past joy is forgotten and every future opportunity is torn away as well. There’s no hope for that light to return, no chance of ever feeling anything positive ever again.
It’s not like this.
This is the regular kind of grief, the grief that says you've lost someone very important to you. Someone you shared a life with and had children with. This is not like losing a piece of your soul, something so vital to you that without it, your life is rendered meaningless.
This is not how Gabe’s mother reacted when his father died.
Trying not to arouse her suspicions, I get out my phone and send a quick message to Nox, something I don't usually have to do anymore thanks to the mind connection. I don't want to force Oli to keep secrets from her Bonded though, and I don't want Gryphon involved just yet.
I'll rely on technology for now.
“Is there anything that I can do? Anything except sitting here in this cell and rotting?”
I give her a cold look and shake my head. “There really isn’t. Everyone that could be spared went out to the Wasteland to fight, but it was too late. You’ll just have to wait here until we can decide what we're going to do with you.”
Her eyebrows dip down low at that, confusion clear on her face. “What are you going to do with me? It doesn't make any sense to leave me in here. I was a victim of the Resistance out there, you know.”
I shrug back at her apathetically. “You’ll stay here until a decision is made.
I can’t exactly let you out now that we all know what you think of my Bonded and the rest of the Draven Bonded Group, now can I?
We can’t very well let someone who was part of the defection freely roam the streets.
If harm came to my Bonded… Well then, you might finally see the monster I can be. ”
Her jaw drops open a little as she glances around, but I continue, “Gryphon went home with our Bonded to break the news of the General’s death and what we found in the Wasteland to Kyrie.
He deserves to get some rest after everything that’s happened.
He doesn't have time to come down here and coddle someone who left him.”
She closes her mouth and opens it again, no sound coming out.
I lean forward and lower my voice, my rage clear in my tone.
“You did more than just leave your children. Every time the General snapped his fingers because he was so angry or jealous about something that his son was doing, instead of feeling proud of him, you left. You told Gryphon and Kyrie you were doing it to get him away from them, to give them a break, but you never even tried to stick around. Your son is far more understanding than I will ever be. Loyalty means everything, and you have plenty of it—just for the wrong person. Now you really can rot here for all I care.”
I turn on my heel, and she slaps her hand against the glass to get my attention. “You're never going to pick someone else over your Bonded, Draven. You can't judge me when you haven't been put in that position yourself.”
I turn to look back at her, shaking my head, aware that Aurelia and Jericho are watching this entire exchange and finding that I just do not care anymore. I really have lost the ability to put up with people's bullshit. Something inside me has snapped, and it won't ever go back together.