Chapter 5
Vaughn
My shirt looked huge on him. It wasn’t that I was even that big of a guy, Aleks was just so…
Beautiful.
I sighed silently at my brain’s attempt to be logical.
The reasonable side of me was fully aware that the now twenty-year-old Aleks had lost some weight over the years, making him look pretty lean.
Although Marcus had used food as a means to control Aleks, he’d also prized Aleks’s beauty and had made sure he was physically healthy, so he hadn’t starved him long-term.
But that didn’t mean he hadn’t withheld food to punish Aleks.
And while I’d never seen Marcus strike Aleks firsthand, there was no denying that the man had physically abused him at one point because I’d seen the scars on Aleks’s back.
His back.
Where admirers were less likely to see the marks when Marcus paraded his pet in front of them.
I felt my anger stirring at even the image my mind was conjuring up of all the things Marcus had done to Aleks, and it took all of my power to focus on the road in front of me.
But of course, I couldn’t stop sending glances Aleks’s way, mostly because he was fingering the hem of my shirt.
The move was distracting the hell out of me, but I knew Aleks wasn’t even aware of it.
He was clearly nervous and I couldn’t really blame him.
It was probably only now registering with him what he’d done by choosing to stay with me rather than go home.
I half expected him to beg me to take him home.
Which I would.
As badly as I wanted to keep him safe, I hadn’t considered what my actions would do to him. I also knew he’d only chosen me over his brother to keep Dante and the rest of his family safe.
I said I believed you but that doesn’t mean I trust you. I don’t… not anymore. Not ever again, Vaughn.
Fuck, that had hurt.
Still did.
We’d gotten back on the road nearly an hour earlier and Aleks had yet to speak to me. He hadn’t even asked me what was going to happen next. I thought maybe it was because he didn’t trust me to tell him the truth, but I was starting to wonder if there wasn’t another reason for his silence.
Just like he’d reverted to believing Marcus was alive when I’d tried to untie him earlier, maybe he was relying on the behavior that had kept him alive in the past.
Don’t speak unless spoken to.
Don’t ask questions.
Don’t talk back.
It was likely an endless list of hard-learned lessons and I hated that he was associating any of them with me.
Another hour passed in silence. The sun was just starting to come up over the horizon when we reached the interstate.
“Do you want to stop for something to eat before we get on the interstate?” I asked. “I need to get gas anyway.”
Aleks’s right hand moved to his mouth so he could chew on his fingernail. He shook his head. “No, thank you… sir.”
I actually jerked the wheel a bit when he called me that.
If he’d called me “sir” in a snide tone to prove he was pissed at me, I would have been relieved because it meant he felt something.
But he’d added it so naturally… like when he’d addressed any one of Marcus’s colleagues that he’d either encountered at the mansion or at one of the few outside events Marcus had taken him to.
I found myself pulling the car over to the side of the road because I was so disturbed I found it hard to breathe. I wrapped both hands around the steering wheel and held on like it was my lifeline.
Because if I didn’t, I’d take my anger out on the damn thing and Aleks didn’t need to see that.
I had no clue how long we sat there for because I lost track of things. My mind was reliving every moment where I could have gotten Aleks out of that fucking mansion sooner. I could have done it the very night I’d spoken to him for the first time.
But no, I hadn’t been able to risk it back then.
What if I had? Would we even be here now? Would things have been better for Aleks if I’d just given in to the temptation?
“Vaughn.”
I startled as I realized Aleks was calling me, his voice sounding strangled. I turned to look at him. I expected to see him cowering against the car door, but he wasn’t. His hands were in his lap and he was watching me, a look of concern on his face.
Concern?
For me?
At least he’d called me by my name.
The rage and regret were still too strong to make it possible for me to respond to him.
“I’m sorry, Vaughn. I shouldn’t have called you that. You… you don’t deserve that. It’s a habit—”
“Aleks,” I practically croaked.
He stopped talking and dropped his eyes.
I couldn’t help but reach for his face, though I only touched his chin briefly so that he’d look at me, because I didn’t trust myself to have any kind of extended contact with him.
Not to mention I didn’t want to cause any kind of discomfort by coming into contact with the bruises the men who’d abducted him had left on him.
“You don’t owe me any kind of explanation… or apology,” I said firmly.
He held my gaze a moment and it looked like he wanted to say something, but as soon as he opened his mouth, he closed it again. My eyes fell to his fingers.
“What happened here?” I asked as I motioned to the small cuts on his fingers. I already knew what they were, but I needed something, anything, that would get him talking. And there was one thing I knew Aleks would talk about without fail.
“They’re, um, from working with the flowers,” he said as he studied the nicks on his fingers.
I could see a little bit of dirt on the pads.
It was the perpetual plight of someone who worked in any kind of gardening job, but for Aleks, those little flecks of dirt were new.
Although Marcus had rewarded Aleks by letting him work with flowers and plants in the greenhouse on the property’s mansion, he hadn’t tolerated dirty hands.
I’d seen Aleks scrubbing his fingers until they were raw on more than one occasion to get the grime completely off before he met with Marcus.
His hands had been so clean, he might as well have been wearing gloves when he’d worked with his beloved plants.
I’d once asked him why he didn’t wear gloves, but all he’d said was then it wouldn’t feel the same.
I hadn’t been sure if it’d been a literal reference to not being able to work with the plants and flowers as well, or if it’d been something else…
like touching that dirt had somehow made him feel free and safe and… normal.
“Father would be so angry,” Aleks whispered when he fingered some of the dirt.
God, I wanted to kill the fucker all over again.
“Not possible,” I said as I put the car in gear. “He’s too busy burning in hell.”
I got us moving and found a gas station. I didn’t even bother to remove the keys while I filled the tank. Even if Aleks hadn’t been with me willingly, I was starting to realize he wouldn’t have tried to escape.
He was too afraid of angering me.
My phone dinged just as I was rounding the trunk of the car. I pulled it out and saw who the text was from. Relief went through me when I saw both a time and address listed in the text.
Thank fuck I wouldn’t need to do this on my own.
I sent a quick text back, then got into the car. Aleks was sitting quietly with his hands in his lap. He was still staring at his fingers. I almost covered his hands with mine but decided against it. He’d probably let me touch him, but not necessarily because he wanted me to.
I went to start the car but didn’t turn the key. “Aleks,” I said softly.
He didn’t look at me.
If I wanted him to, I’d have to ask him.
No direct eye contact unless otherwise instructed.
Another fucking rule that I wanted to send Marcus and the others to hell all over again for.
“We’re going to be driving for most of the day. Are you sure you don’t want to eat something?”
“No, thank you,” he said.
Thank fuck he left the “sir” off this time.
It was all I could do not to order him to eat something.
But when I went to start the car, he whispered my name so softly that I almost didn’t hear him.
I pulled my hand back from the ignition and waited.
If it took him all day to speak again, I’d happily sit there and tell anyone who needed to get gas to fuck off.
“How… how long since… since they took me. Was it… was it last night?”
More guilt went through me as I realized the trauma had left him without any sense of time.
I had to wonder exactly what he did remember about the night before.
His memory appeared completely clear up until the point where he’d asked me to take him home and I’d told him no.
But he didn’t seem to remember thinking Marcus was still alive.
“It’s been about ten hours since they took you from the alley behind your shop,” I said. “After I…” I paused because I most certainly didn’t want to verbalize the next part.
After I took you and refused to take you home…
“After I got you out of the van, we drove for a little over an hour. You were… tired,” I said lamely.
He’d been a lot worse off than “tired.”
“I found the abandoned house and carried you inside because you’d fallen asleep. I took your shoes off and put you in the bed.”
“Did you sleep with me?” he asked.
I had no idea if he was asking me if I’d had sex with him or if I’d slept in the same bed with him, and the fact that I couldn’t make that distinction made me feel like the lowest form of life on the planet.
It was a question he never would have asked me in the final weeks in the Parks mansion where I might as well have been his jailer.
Because he’d trusted me then…
“I sat in the bed next to you, but I didn’t touch you. I worked on my computer while you slept and when you had a bad dream, I just called your name to wake you up… until that last one. I had to touch you that time because you weren’t responding to just my voice.”
Aleks pulled in a deep breath and nodded.
“You slept for about eight hours.”