Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
Blakely
“Okay, hold on, let me get this straight,” I said as I sipped my third mocktail. Amanda was amused by all my reactions as she told me the major things I’d missed over the past two years.
I’d missed a lot, and we weren’t going to get through everything tonight, but I was eager to know all the same. “You,” I said, pointing at Amanda. “You, Reed, and Josh are all three together. Reed owns his own gym, and Josh runs Murphy’s Law, which the three of you also own.”
Amanda nodded and sipped her own drink.
“But you’re still teaching, right?”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “Whether I admit it or not, I love the little prepubescent psychos.”
“Wow, that’s a lot.”
Ivy, who was not only gorgeous but also kind and hilarious, lifted her eyebrows and glanced at Amanda out of the corner of her eye. I noticed the look and watched Amanda roll her lips, like she was holding back something more.
“I don’t want to get into it tonight,” she said hesitantly. “But my brother, Adam, got caught up dealing drugs and ended up owing his boss a crap ton of money. And when his boss realized Adam wasn’t going to pay, he came after Reed. Well, me and Reed, but mostly Reed since he’s the one with the crap ton of money. He held us at gunpoint and everything.”
My jaw dropped, and my palms flattened against the table. We were sitting at one of the many tables surrounding the pool tables where the men and Hazel still played.
“Are you—are you kidding? Amanda, that’s?—”
She waved me off and pushed her empty glass to the center of the table. “We can talk about it another time. Tonight is supposed to be fun, and talking about almost dying is not fun.”
“Holy shit. Yeah, we definitely will be talking about that later,” I promised, but I let it go as I turned to Ivy. “So, can you tell me about you and James? He was such a workaholic, I can’t believe he was here before seven on a Friday night.”
Ivy chuckled and shook her head, her red hair brushing around her shoulders. “He definitely was a workaholic, but he actually quit his job.”
Again, my jaw dropped, and I nearly choked.
“That was exactly our reaction, too!” Amanda exclaimed. “Ivy is magic.”
Ivy rolled her eyes. “Not magic. He just realized what was important. His job was sucking the life out of him, and he knew it wasn’t worth it anymore.”
“So, you worked here?” I asked. “That’s how you two rekindled?”
“Yeah, I was a bartender. We hadn’t seen each other in years, and everything just happened from there. We fought it for a while, but nothing that happened before was enough to keep us apart.”
She glanced to her left and searched around the pool table until her eyes landed on James. The soft smile that graced her lips, and then his, was one of the sweetest things I’d ever seen.
“And Hazel and Luke got married almost a year after…” Her wo rds trailed off, but I knew what she meant. That’s how I referenced time as well. It was an easy way to gauge it. There was the before and the after.
Thank God there was an after.
“And she’s pregnant and due in what?” Amanda turned to look at Ivy. “A month?”
“Yeah, around then, but the baby is measuring big. She’s probably going to deliver early.”
Since I’d seen her rounded belly the first time, I’d been trying to identify the feelings that overwhelmed me each time I thought about it. Therapy had been good for that—identifying and differentiating my feelings.
But seeing Hazel pregnant brought on a whole new set of emotions I couldn’t begin to pinpoint. Because there was a possibility, in some alternative reality, that it never would have happened. That the injuries she sustained during her kidnapping would have been too severe, and maybe she wouldn’t have had a future at all.
And it was hard not to think that it would have been my fault. It would have been?—
“B?” Amanda asked, and I blinked. The dark thoughts retreated momentarily, and I faked a smile for my friend. My friends.
“Yeah, sorry. Lost in thought.”
“You want another drink?” Ivy asked, sliding off her barstool.
I looked down at my empty glass and considered ordering another mocktail. Whatever magic Josh did to it, it was amazing. But I shook my head. “Water would be nice, though.”
“I’ll take another,” Amanda said, pushing her empty glass to the edge of the table.
Ivy gave Amanda an unimpressed look with one eyebrow raised. I laughed at the no-nonsense expression. “Umm…how about some water first?”
Amanda huffed but didn’t argue .
Ivy walked past the rest of the group playing pool and easily drew the attention of her boyfriend. He shoved his cue stick at Devon and followed his girlfriend into the crowd of people toward the bar.
Reed had an arm wrapped around Josh’s back as they taunted Luke, who was leaning over the table and lining up his shot. Only he got distracted by his wife at the last minute and nearly missed the cue ball.
They all doubled over into fits of laughter.
“I’ll be right back,” Amanda said, hopping down from her stool and landing on unsteady legs. She quickly gained her balance and hurried toward her boyfriends. They both welcomed her with open arms as she slid between them. She rested her head on Josh’s chest, and Reed kissed the back of her neck.
It was so good to see them all so happy. Like everything that had happened to them didn’t break their spirits, and honestly, made them stronger.
My eyes landed on Devon again. I’d tried not to look at him all night, but it was harder than I thought it would be. My eyes were like magnets; no matter where he was, my attention found him.
Piper arrived a few minutes after we’d started our first game of pool, and Amanda filled me in on their new relationship.
They’d met at Ivy’s birthday party a few months earlier and had been casually dating ever since. They’d only made it official recently. Apparently, she was fitting in well with the group.
She looked sweet and seemed nice, but I didn’t know firsthand. She’d waved a polite hello when she’d arrived, but otherwise, she’d done her best to stay away from me. Well, I couldn’t be sure it was intentional, but it felt that way.
And Piper keeping her distance also meant Devon had been distant.
They were sitting on the opposite side of the pool room. Piper was idly sipping her drink and watching the game of pool in front of them. Devon sat across from her, brown boots propped on the bar of the stool as he leaned back against the wall. He’d rested the pool cue James had frantically given him against the wall next to him, freeing his hands. One large hand gripped the glass of whiskey that was sitting on the table. He’d been nursing it all night, rarely sipping it, while the other tapped to the beat of the music against his leg.
A leg—or legs— that were hugged by dark jeans that complimented his green shirt.
Not thinking, my perusal continued. I began considering how much I liked his longer facial hair when I noticed his eyes. They were locked on me.
My eyes widened, but I tried not to react otherwise. Internally, though, I was freaking out a little. There was no telling how long he’d noticed that I was staring. And of course, his face gave nothing away.
I would have looked away if I could, but it was impossible.
Even from several feet away and across the room, Devon had the ability to make me feel calm and seen. It was a characteristic I’d always been in awe of.
There was a slow tightening in my chest the longer our gazes collided, and the urge to stand and walk over to him grew until Ivy and James walked between us.
Ivy smiled at me and slid the water across the table. Suddenly parched, I grabbed the glass and gulped.
I faced forward and was determined to keep my eyes that direction as well, except I could feel the heat of someone’s stare on the side of my face. Ivy hopped back into her seat and said something about an upcoming karaoke night, but I didn’t hear her exact words.
Apparently, I had no self-control because my eyes slid back to their table. I expected to see Devon watching me, but he was intently studying his drink. It was Piper whose stare was boring into the side of my face.
When I realized it, I looked away as quickly as I could, but not quick enough to miss her eyes dart back over to Devon. Her eyes bounced back and forth between us, and I wanted no part of that silent interaction anymore.
Luckily, I couldn’t have paid attention to Piper even if I wanted to because Hazel was walking, better yet waddling, over to me. She stopped at our table, and Ivy began to stand.
“Do you want to sit?” she offered, but Hazel waved her off.
“No, thanks. Sitting, standing, breathing—it’s all uncomfortable right now. I think Luke and I are about to leave anyway. But,” she said, turning to look at me. “I’m planning a girls’ day at our house in the next few weeks. We wanted to do it sooner, but coordinating everyone’s schedules is tough. It’ll probably be the last time we can all get together before baby S is born.”
I nodded along, hoping my assumption was right and that I knew where she was going.
“Would you like to come?”
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her if she was sure, but I didn’t want her to question her decision. Because I really, really wanted to go.
“Absolutely. I would love to come,” I said.
“Great, I’ll get your number from Amanda and text you the details.”
She waved goodbye and followed Luke out of the room and into the main part of the bar.
Less than a second later, Amanda bounced back over to our table. Her excitement was palpable as she reached for my hand and squeezed once.
“See, I told you!” she exclaimed. “Just a little bit of patience. Also, our new bartender, Grant, may or may not be heading over here to talk to you. And if you need me to run interference, I need you to tell me immediately. Otherwise, Ivy and I are going to make ourselves scarce.”
Two years later and Amanda still spoke a mile a minute. It took me a little bit longer to catch up, but when I did, my eyes darted past her, and I noticed the tall, brown-haired guy walking toward us.
I hadn’t been on a date or even thought about it since…and I wasn’t sure that was the right time to start. But the closer he got, the less I felt like I had an option to say no. And the more I realized that maybe I was ready. The terrifying, debilitating feeling that had come over me when I’d considered it before didn’t appear.
“Okay, thanks for the heads-up,” I said. Amanda’s smile widened, and she grasped Ivy’s hand. She led her over to the rest of the group and waved at the guy, Grant, as they passed by him.
“Hi,” he said, coming to a stop next to the table. He had a kind, easy smile, and the black Murphy’s Law T-shirt he wore stretched across his chest and emphasized the muscles beneath it. “I’ve been standing behind that bar all night, hoping you’d come over and order a drink, but no luck.”
I was so out of practice. I sucked in a shaky breath and said the first thing that came to mind. “So, what? You’re just making your own luck now?”
Delighted surprise flitted across his face, and he leaned in a little closer. He propped his elbows on the table and clasped his hands together.
“I guess you could say that I am. I’m Grant,” he said, offering me his hand.
I took it and was thankful when he dropped it in an appropriate amount of time. He smiled, and we began the slightly awkward tradition of trying to preliminarily gauge if there could be anything more. Which meant the small talk had fully commenced.
But he was sweet and mostly engaging. He had just started working at Murphy’s a few weeks ago and was in his midtwenties. He was a little younger than I would have entertained, but he was nice to talk to, and it didn’t have to go any further .
Grant glanced over his shoulder. The crowd around the bar had grown, and he straightened.
“I guess I should get back to work, but it was so great to meet you, Blakely,” he said. “Does my luck extend to getting your number?”
I returned his smile and was about to answer, but the words died on my tongue.
I felt him behind me before he appeared to my left. Devon’s hulking frame slid between the wall next to me and my barstool. He stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets and stared straight-faced at Grant, who stood a little taller.
I glanced between them, but neither were paying any attention to me.
Finally, I cleared my throat and looked up at Devon. “What’s up, Devon?”
He didn’t immediately look down at me. Instead, he held Grant’s stare another second before he blinked.
“I’m heading home,” he said, and it took me a moment to remember that he’d been the one to drive me to the bar. “Amanda said she’d give you a ride back to my place later if you don’t want to leave now.”
“Oh,” I said, peering back over at Grant, who didn’t appear as confident as he had a few seconds earlier. Seeing everything through his eyes, it was no wonder he’d begun to retreat.
“I didn’t realize…” Grant muttered. He tapped the tabletop twice and stepped back. “Sorry, man.”
Stunned, I whipped my head around to look at Devon, who appeared unruffled by Grant’s insinuation. I waited for him to object and tell Grant that it was absolutely not what he thought, but Devon didn’t speak.
A thought, wild and uncontrollable, crossed my mind. It was fast—there and gone almost too quick for me to comprehend. But the gist of it was crystal clear. It was an inconceivable “ what if .”
What if it wasn’t an insinuation? What if it was real ?
It was enough to make a shiver whip down my spine and to push me into action.
“Wait,” I said, reaching out and lightly gripping Grant’s forearm before he could walk away. “We’re not.” I waved my hands between Devon and me and made a slashing motion through the air.
“Here.” I retrieved my phone from my bag and slid it across the table. Grant’s demeanor changed, although the hesitance in his eyes remained. I didn’t blame him, though. That was to be expected in Devon’s company.
Grant added his number, slid my phone back across the table, and smiled as he went back to work.
I shoved my phone into my bag and twisted in my seat to look up at Devon.
“That was weird. You’re being weird,” I said simply. Devon was still staring at Grant’s retreating form, and I shook my head. “I’ll go with you.”
I slipped off the barstool and said goodbye to Amanda, Reed, Josh, James, and Ivy.
As he had when we entered, Devon parted the crowd as we walked through the main part of the bar. I stepped out from behind him when we got to the front door and came face-to-face with Piper.
I muttered out a startled “Hi” and stopped just a few inches short of running her over.
Her eyes widened, and she said a quick hello back. Devon pushed open the door and the three of us walked outside. The temperature had dropped in the hours we’d been in the bar, and I regretted not wearing a coat or a thicker sweater.
Reflexively, I wrapped my arms around my midsection and trudged against the wind and through the parking lot. He and Piper broke off, veering toward the other side of the lot and away from Devon’s SUV.
“I’ll be right back,” he said. I watched them approach a small, white sedan that was exactly the car I expected Piper to drive. She was tiny, so her car ought to be as well.
Not knowing how long they would be, I knew standing in the middle of the parking lot wasn’t the best idea. I hurried over to Devon’s car, but when I reached for the handle, it stuck. I tried again, only to confirm it was locked.
Turning to holler at Devon to unlock it, I stopped short. I looked at the precise moment Devon leaned down and kissed her. It was quick—or at least I thought it was—because I whipped back around before I could see the end. And before the dropping sensation in my stomach could get any worse.
I heard his steps behind me, and the car doors unlocked. I pulled it open quickly and jumped inside, out of the cold.
He slipped into the driver’s seat. “Sorry. I thought I’d unlocked it.”
“It’s okay,” I said and buckled my seat belt, dropping my bag on the floorboard.
Devon backed out of the spot and turned onto the street. His hands were tight around the wheel, and I could see the muscles in his jaw tic.
“Everything okay?” I asked quietly.
He blinked and grunted, which was as much of a response as I’d expect from him.
Most of the time I was okay with the silence, like we’d had on the drive to the bar, but with the frustration and anxiety tumbling through the car, I wanted to get his mind off it. Whatever it was.
“Tonight didn’t go as bad as I thought it might.”
He nodded, and I saw his shoulders relax slightly. I readjusted in my seat, the black leather squeaking beneath me, and looked back over at him.
Wanting to gauge his reaction to my next words, I watched the side of his face as I said, “Thank you for bringing me along.”
His jaw slackened and his hands loosened their unyielding grip on the wheel. He did a double-take, looking back and forth from the road over to me.
Then they settled on me. Passing streetlights reflected in his hazel eyes and illuminated the questions and emotions behind them. My pulse thrummed, and the temperature in the cabin climbed higher until a car honked and broke our concentration.
Devon righted the wheel and settled back into his seat. His eyes didn’t leave the road for the rest of the drive.