Chapter 7 #2
“Oh, come on…Luke, right? We’re having a bonfire tonight to celebrate being done with this album and hitting the road again.
Stay. We’d love to hear about Sloany’s Army days,” Brett says, slinging a friendly arm around Luke’s shoulders.
I expect Luke to stiffen at the proximity but he doesn’t seem to mind Brett’s arm at all.
Perhaps it’s because he knows Brett’s straight based on Bri and Riddik’s presence.
“I don’t think I’m the right person to share those stories,” Luke replies tightly, flashing me a quick glance.
“Well, get drunk with these idiots and then we can decide.” Brett laughs, already leading Luke out of the studio toward the serene space in the woods where the eight of us have gathered several times since Noah and Sienna moved in to this place.
Brett and Bri bought two acres from Kinky and built a house next door.
Ryan and Emma also moved out this way but moved into a gated neighborhood the rest of us can’t afford despite our major increase in income.
Ryan’s family is loaded and his dad has incredible investors who helped get Ryan on the right financial track when he was like two years old.
Which just leaves me in the house we all bought together six years ago. It’s forty-five minutes away and it’s a pain in the ass to drive back and forth, so on nights like tonight, Jen and I will crash with Noah and Sienna or Brett and Bri.
It’s hotter than Satan’s asshole around the fire, and even though the sun’s gone down, the air is still unseasonably warm for May.
Noah passes out vodka and lemonade to everyone except Brett, Bri, and Jen. Luke tries to decline as well, but gets suckered in when Noah says, “Oh, come on. How many chances are you going to have to drink with the band?”
Luke might’ve held strong until I added, “None, because after tonight, I’d better never see his face again.”
I can feel Ryan watching me. The most emotionally intelligent and mature one out of all of us, I know he’s processing all the pieces of information I’m inadvertently giving him right now.
I also remember it wasn’t too long ago when he and I were alone around this exact fire pit and I mentioned my relationship with Grant for the first and only time.
I was careful not to say his name or reveal his gender, but I mentioned the relationship and that was more than I’d ever done before.
“Think you’ll ever settle down?”
“No. I had my chance and I lost it.”
“When?”
“A different lifetime, man.”
Have I ever come right out and told my bandmates I’m attracted to both men and women?
No. It’s not that I’m ashamed of it. I see beauty in almost everything.
I happen to really like that about myself.
I think it’s one of the things that protected me during deployment.
Nothing about war is beautiful, but there were moments where soldiers and civilians connected and created something bigger than the war that put us on opposite sides.
There was beauty in bonding with your comrades over a game of soccer on a dusty road knowing it might be the last game you all played together.
There was beauty in the stray dogs we’d find who would become our companions during long patrol hours and in the kids who didn’t care which uniform we wore as long as we kept them safe.
No, it’s not that I’m ashamed. It’s because Grant and Hailey deserve more than to be a memory and to reduce them to that doesn’t feel right. My bandmates didn’t know the Tomlins. Hearing about them now would make it seem like they were just another couple with a kink.
Another couple engaging in polyamory because they’re broken, or misguided, or because they want to label it in an effort to make themselves feel different or special.
But the truth is, Grant and Hailey were so much more. They were special. They were my family. None of us planned it. And it’ll never happen again for me, so there really isn’t a need to reopen the wounds which are already beginning to bleed thanks to Luke’s presence and Hailey’s death.
Two chairs down from me, Luke throws back his drink like maybe if he gets to the bottom of it fast enough, he can leave… or maybe it’ll make him invisible.
“You planning on making the military your whole career?” Noah asks, trying to put the conversation on even footing for Luke.
“Yes.” He nods his head once, no hesitation.
“What do you do?” Brett asks, sipping on his water. “I mean something medical, obviously,” he says, waving at Luke’s scrubs, “but what?”
Briefly, Luke’s eyes find mine, flames dancing in his silver irises. “I’m a physician in the ER. I’m currently stationed at Alexander T. Augusta Military Medical Center in Fort Belvoir outside of Alexandria.”
It feels like some kind of weird, ironic, superstitious sign that he goes to work every day in a building with my last name on it.
“Can you still get deployed?” Noah asks.
“Yeah, actually physicians are some of the oldest service members to get deployed because we’re always needed.
” Luke’s eyes tell me he’s reliving the same memory I am, but he recovers much faster than I do.
If I’m not careful, I’ll end up stuck in that memory until I’m screaming in a ball on the floor.
“But thankfully, when we deploy, everyone works extra hard to make sure we stay alive so that we’re around to keep them alive. ”
Jen sits up a little straighter as Luke talks about his work in the medical field and begins asking questions of her own.
“Are there any civilian contractors that work at your hospital?” she asks, sounding hopeful. Her question catches my attention.
“Looking for a change in location, Jen?” I ask, uncomfortable with the idea of she and Luke working in the same hospital. Luke answers Jen before she can answer me.
“Yes, we do employ civilians. We’d love to have someone driven and excited about the field like you. I’ll give you my number before I go and we can talk more about it.”
“The fuck you will,” I finally snap at Luke. “Jen, I’ll buy you your own goddamn hospital before I’ll let you work with this asshole.”
Jen’s head whips to me. “Let me? Sloan, this is my career we’re talking about.
I don’t tell you where you can perform,” she argues.
“You know the hospital I work in is so understaffed and outdated. I leave work every day with a migraine thanks to the white walls and flickering fluorescents. Plus, I have to imagine working for anyone other than Adam is a bonus.”
Adam. Douche of the year.
“Who’s Adam?” Noah asks at the same time Ryan says, “Jen, is that prick still bothering you?”
Jen looks at Noah first as I pull her out of the chair next to me and onto my lap, wanting to remind her whose arms she actually belongs in.
“He’s the nursing manager and he’s…fond of me.” Looking at Ryan, she sighs. “He’s out of town this week so I’ve been enjoying a reprieve.”
“Why don’t you report him?” Luke asks from across the firepit. When he talks it gives me an excuse to look at him.
“Because our hospital is small. They won’t let him go and then he’d know he gets under my skin. It would just make things worse. When I make it to the trauma floor, he won’t be my manager anymore so I’m just trying to lay low.”
“You wouldn’t have that problem at Alexander. Our staff would get in serious trouble for harassing an employee, civilian or not.”
“You sure she wouldn’t be harassed, Luke? ‘Cause it sounds like you’re already pushing a little hard there.”
Before the conversation can devolve any further, Ryan pipes up, changing the subject.
“So, Luke, do you know Nina Cosgrove?”
“Yeah.” Luke laughs. “I know Neen. She busted Sloan and I’s asses one time off base when—” He looks at me, his laughter dying immediately. “Maybe, uh, you guys should ask Sloan about all this.”
“Sloan won’t tell us anything about his Army days. We’ve never even seen pictures,” Brett laments.
“It was a tough time.” Luke gives a tight smile to the group as he finishes his drink and stands. “Well, hey, it was really cool watching you guys practice, thanks for that, but I should probably hit the road.”
“Don’t leave without me signing those damn papers this time.
” Although I wanted him to bring the paperwork to me, now that he’s here, I don’t like that he’s in my space, with my friends.
Practice was one thing, but this bonfire and the people around it, are my safe place.
I’m also not thrilled with my band mates pumping him for information, or with Jen for wanting to exchange numbers.
“Right. They’re in my car.”
“I’ll walk you out like a proper date then.
” I couldn’t reign in the sarcasm if you offered me my weight in gold.
On the surface, I know he thinks he was doing me a favor by telling me about Hailey himself.
I know he thinks he was helping by bringing the papers out here to me.
And I know he was genuinely offering to talk to Jen about opportunities.
Unfortunately, I also know how things turn to shit when Luke thinks he’s doing the right thing.
I purposely walk too close to him in the dark, and when we get back to the huge circular driveway, I make my move.
He reaches for his car door but I grip his arm and spin him around, caging him in against the side of his 4Runner, bringing my mouth to within an inch of his.
His eyes drop to my lips but I wouldn’t even piss on him if he were on fire so he definitely doesn’t have to worry about me kissing him.
“If my friends ever give you an invitation to stay again, you decline. Are we clear, Major?”
“I don’t take orders from you, Sloan,” he pushes back verbally but keeps his hands to his sides.
“You’re about to take a lot more from me than an order. I said, are. We. Clear?” I push the lower half of my body against his, pinning him with my hips so I can have my hands free to punch him in the fucking face.
“Crystal,” he finally bites back, his mouth in a tight line, clearly uncomfortable with my groin pressing into him. “Now, can I get the papers or would you prefer we keep rubbing our dicks together?”
I rear back and let my fist fly. I hear the crunch of his nose under my fist this time. As he brings his hands to his face, I grab his shoulders and bring my knee to his balls, making him double over in agony.
It isn’t until he’s coughing and sputtering on his knees that I realize he never fights back and it’s really starting to piss me off.
I leave him there and reach in the car for the briefcase in the backseat. Finding what I need, I sign his fucking papers and leave him to sort himself out while I go back to my friends twice as mad that breaking his nose has only made me feel worse.