Chapter 20
Luke
It’s hard undoing an entire schema. My whole life I’ve thought relationships were between a man and a woman. Mostly because regardless of what I feel for Sloan, I am attracted to women. I love the feel of sinking into them. I love their breathy moans, their soft curves, and tits. God, I love tits.
I can’t even blame my straight-is-the-only-way notions on religion because I honestly think God is happier with a same sex couple who loves and respects each other than He is with a hetero couple who lies, manipulates, and uses each other, but still, it’s like somehow that doesn’t apply to me, even in my own head.
No, I don’t know how I came to feel that love between two men is wrong, but I did. Perhaps it was my own self-loathing kicking in subconsciously, but as my hands explore Sloan’s chiseled torso, I find that I’m not disgusted at all. I’m in awe of the work of art in front of me.
“I’ll make sure I do this time,” Sloan rasps his desire to swallow my cock, making a shiver race down my spine. The smirk he gives me in response has pre-cum pouring from me.
“Look, I know this is my last chance. I need to make sure I’m ready and I don’t want to blow it,” I say, trying to explain my need to go slow.
He throws his head back in laughter. “I hope you’re planning on blowing something.”
“Let’s start with the range, okay?” I smile, hoping my nerves aren’t as obvious as I feel they are.
“Yeah, okay. You take the reins today, Lucky.”
My heart skips a beat when he uses my nickname.
We finally make it back out to the 4Runner and I’m mortified when my phone connects to the speakers as I start the car. Beautiful Deceit’s Spotify station has been playing for months on my phone.
“Hey, I know this song.” Sloan laughs. It’s the one with my favorite guitar solo. Something about it sounds familiar and apparently, I’m a glutton for punishment because it’s on repeat…which he notices. “Any reason you listen to this one the most?”
I opt for the truth. Push through or die trying. Retreating is for cowards. I don’t want to be a coward anymore.
“Yeah. I like your solo. It reminds me of one of the songs you used to play in the barracks.”
“That’s because it is.” When an embarrassing whimper escapes from my lips, he presses for more and the forced whisper is really not helping things. “Tell me, Lucky, you ever jerk off listening to this song?”
No point in lying. “Yes.”
“What do you think about while you’re pumping your cock to my music?”
I swallow hard, keeping my eyes on the road ahead. “You. You’re hands. Your voice. Your laugh. The way you used to strip in the barracks without a care in the world about who saw you. The way I wish you’d do it now and give me the chance to explore what I missed out on back then.”
“Fuuuck,” he groans when I don’t hesitate with my answer. When I risk a glance, he’s pressing his palm into his crotch. “You’re making me hard.”
Instantly, my dick springs to life, not wanting to be left out or outdone. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. My throbbing cock is straining against my BDU pants, and just like the song on repeat, Sloan notices. I swear, if he touches me, I’m going to have to pull over.
“You’re killing me, Lucky,” he finally says, and I don’t think it’s his stressed vocal cords causing the crack in his words this time.
All my senses are on overload as this thing between us gains speed. I need to focus on getting us to base without crashing my car. I stay silent but give his forearm a squeeze as I turn up the volume. “Rest your voice.”
Finally pulling up to the guard station outside the base, I roll down my window and flash my badge. The guy in the booth asks about my passenger. Sloan leans over the console and plants his hand on the seat between my legs so he can show his face to the guard.
He’s overly-exaggerating the movement. There’s no need to be in my lap, but I smell his shampoo as his curly hair gets close to my face. His wrist grazes my balls, making me jump.
He’s fucking with me and it’s working oh, so well.
“Sloan Alexander, sir.” He grins to the man in the booth.
“Sloan Ale—No shit. Like the Sloan Alexander? From Beautiful Deceit?”
“One and the same,” the man spread across my lap replies as he moves his hand from the seat to the growing cock laying against my thigh. Thankfully, my SUV is so high, the guard can’t see my lap. Not that he can take his eyes off Sloan, anyway.
“Hey, would you mind if we grabbed a selfie really quick?” The guard asks, coming out of the booth — which he’s not supposed to do.
“Uh, Soldier?” I say to the man, irritated that he’s fangirling over my date.
“Oh yeah, yeah, I’ll wave you through, just let me get this picture. Yo, my brother is not going to believe this!”
Sloan hops out of the SUV and walks over to the guard like he does this all the time.
I suppose he probably does. My aching dick is immediately pissed at the loss of contact.
Sloan drapes his right arm across the guy’s shoulders and holds his left index and pinky fingers up while his thumb pulls his middle and ring fingers down in a classic rock on gesture.
A lot of rockstars don’t smile in their pictures, but not Sloan.
He always looks like he’s having the time of his life.
The guard snakes his left arm around Sloan’s waist and holds his right arm out in front of them to take the picture. Squeezing a little tight there, aren’t you buddy?”
I roll Sloan’s window down so I can address the soldier pressed against his side. “I’d appreciate it if you could keep quiet about this. I don’t want to get court-marshaled for causing a disturbance on base.”
“Yeah, of course. No problem.”
“I’d also appreciate it if you could let him back in my car now so we can get on with our business.”
“Oh, right.”
“You want to try that again, Private?” I emphasize his rank this time and the fact that it’s below mine.
“Right, sir. Sorry, sir.” He flashes a look at Sloan. “Thanks, man.”
Afterward, the guard shakes Sloan’s hand before climbing back in the stand and waving us through the now-open arm of the gate.
“Idiot didn’t even scan your license,” I grumble.
“Fame has some perks.” Sloan smiles.
“Does everyone touch you like that?” The question is out before I can stop it and Sloan immediately sees it for what it is. He turns to face me even though I refuse to look at him.
“Yeah. A lot of them do. Sometimes it’s worse. Usually, our security team will get to them before they do any real damage, but occasionally one or two will get a handful of my balls.”
This makes me angry. Really angry, and I lash out.
“For fuck’s sake, Sloan! Hire more security! Stay behind a perimeter or something! Carry a fucking club so these assholes learn some respect!”
He grabs my hand off the steering wheel and tries to lace our fingers. As much as I want the comfort and I want to know that maybe he’s mine in some way, I pull my hand out of his grip.
We’re on base and my windows aren’t tinted.
“I see,” he says angrily. “You want to explore this when no one’s watching. When it doesn’t put you at risk or cost you anything. You want to claim me but only in a way that’s safe for you. I should’ve known. You know what? Take me home.”
I want to stop the car and set him straight but I have to keep driving. People get really uptight about shouting matches on base. I stay quiet and keep driving toward our destination.
“I said take me home, Luke.”
“Fucking hell, Sloan. Stop trying to yell! Can you give me two minutes to get us to our destination and let me explain?”
“Explain what? How you’re still a chickenshit?” he snaps.
I fly down the gravel path to the range, kicking up dirt and pebbles.
I reserved the whole thing so we could have some peace and privacy for a day, so no one else is down here.
It’s back in the woods with nice shade from the trees.
The summer sun has been brutal this year but there’s a slight breeze today offering some mild semblance of relief.
I slam on the brakes and get out of the car, ready to rip his door open and drag him out of the passenger seat, but he beats me to it.
“I’m trying!” I bellow. The range is so isolated, I’m confident no one from the busy base up the hill can hear us.
I push at his chest with both hands as hard as I can.
He only takes one step back so I follow and push him again.
“I lied to the range commander about why I needed it privately today. Just being here with you could have me in serious fucking trouble so don’t you dare say this cost me nothing!
” I shove him again. “This uniform is to me what your guitar is to you, Sloan! I’m risking everything right now for something I don’t even understand! ”
My outburst of anger seems to calm his.
“No one cares who you’re fucking, Luke.”
“I care. And they won’t pull my rank for fucking you. They’ll pull my rank for closing down the shooting range on an active military base to have a picnic and an uninterrupted moment with my boyfr—”
I quickly shut my mouth.
“—with a civilian,” I finish.
Sloan smirks slowly but then turns so fast, his hand wrapping around my throat, forcing my chin up, as he backs me against the hood of my SUV.
“Cameras?” he asks. Seems like you can never completely take the soldier out of the man.
I shake my head as much as I can against his hold. “Disabled last month. Manpower to monitor was needed elsewhere,” I choke out against the hand squeezing my windpipe.
“You naughty man,” he says before kissing me. This part feels like it’s slowly getting less weird for me. It gives me hope that the more we do…other things…the more comfortable I’ll be with them too.
I don’t expect anyone to drive down here, but that doesn’t mean they won’t. I slowly pull away.
“Let’s grab the gun cases and head up to the shooting deck.”
He nods and then leans in to trace my lower lip with his tongue, his hand still around my throat. The fire in his eyes says I’m not going to escape this afternoon with my sanity intact.
I move around to the back of the 4Runner and open the hatch, suddenly embarrassed at the cooler I packed. Fuck, I’m so corny.
Without even trying, Sloan puts my embarrassment at ease. “Thank fuck. I’m starving.”
I flash him a grateful smile and hand him the cooler as I reach for the two rifle cases and several boxes of ammo before we make our way toward the covered, multi-story, open-air platform that kind of reminds me of a fire tower.
Nothing fancy. Targets are set up down-range from twenty yards to three hundred yards and you can shoot at various heights depending on what you want to simulate.
“Where do you want to start?” I ask Sloan. I’m out here every week but it’s probably been years for him.
“Crow’s nest,” comes his immediate response, and we start climbing. The tower only goes up four stories, so we don’t have to climb that high. I’m still in full uniform though, as required when I’m on base, and the climb has me sweating profusely even though I’m not winded.
I roll the sleeves of my uniform jacket up and catch Sloan’s eyes watching me expectantly.
“You know, I don’t think anyone can see you up here, Major.
And I certainly wouldn’t be such an asshole as to rat you out.
” He gives me a pointed look. Touché, Sloan.
“Besides, the high is ninety-six today and I think you run a real risk of having a heat stroke if you don’t start shedding some layers. ”
“Smooth, Alexander.” But damn him, it works and I start stripping out of my BDU jacket.
“Here, let me.” He gets through all the buttons on my jacket and immediately starts on my pants.
“Sloan,” I whisper urgently.
“At some point, you have to let go and start trusting me, Lucky, or this will never work. I’m not trying to rush you, but I think we both understand where this is headed…
so let it get there. Please. I’m heading back out on the road in a few days and I need to know what I’ll be coming home to in the weeks after that. ”
I swallow hard, my eyes roving the ground below for any sign of an intruder. Seeing none, and not wanting him to stop, I nod. “Okay.”
I brace myself with my hands on the metal loading table behind me as Sloan drops to his knees in front of me.
Holy fuck, this is actually happening.
He slides the stiff fabric down my legs and palms me through my boxers where a wet spot is already forming, causing my head to fall back and an obscene groan to escape my lips.
“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about this, Luke? Finally giving in to the pleasure I’ve wanted to bring you. If it makes you feel better, you can tell me how much you hate it while you fill my mouth.”
The heat from his mouth touches me though my boxers and my hips flex, making him groan this time.
“How much I disgust you,” he taunts, continuing to tease me through the fabric.
“Fuck, Sloan. Just do it.”
Sensing my desperation, he obliges and frees my cock from my boxers. His face hovers an inch from my dripping tip, but I’m too turned on to be embarrassed at the proof of what he does to me.
“Shit, Luke, we’re going to have to flip a coin for bottom when we get there.” Before I can ask him what that means, he starts talking again. “I’m going to come just from having you in my mouth.”
In the next second, he pulls me into his mouth and fireworks explode behind my eyelids. My knees buckle and threaten to send me to the floor but Sloan’s hands are at my hips, pushing me into the table behind me to keep me upright while his mouth takes long pulls on my rigid cock.
He knows exactly how to move, twist, and suck to drive me right to the edge. I’d never thought about it before, but I guess having the same equipment as your lover makes sense in some ways. Knowing what feels good because he is a man, allows him to know exactly how to please a man.
I’ve never crested the wave of an orgasm so fast in my life. I’ll blame it on the years of pent-up desire. My legs start shaking and I try to warn him that he needs to move, but all that comes out are unintelligible grunts.
“Sl…uh…need to…oh…”
He pulls his mouth away from me, replacing it with his hand. “If you think I’m not prepared to swallow every fucking drop, you’re in for a rude awakening, soldier. Now come.”
And I do. For the first time in my life, I come at the hands…well, mouth… of a man.
As I wait for the shame to slam into me, I’m more than shocked when the only thought I have in the aftermath of the most earth-shattering orgasm I’ve ever had is, why have I wasted so many years?
When I’m finally able to open my eyes again, Sloan’s grinning at me from his knees. “I think swallowing a bunch of cum is just what the doctor ordered to make my throat feel better.”
I’ll be damned. His words come out almost normal.