SALT
What the hell did I just do? A mistake. A humongous one, given that I actually had a ‘plan’ and managed to blow it within minutes.
The ‘keeping my distance’ thing, hello!
Focus. Discipline. No distractions, and definitely not the kind that come in the form of a young, damn hot alpha.
So how exactly am I supposed to undo the damage now, when we have already crossed the line and tasted a sample of sex?
The only option left is to throw everything into reverse and pretend this never happened.
"What is it?" I ask, my voice stiff and guarded.
"Can we talk?" Eliano exhales.
"About what? Whatever just happened, we are not talking about it. It cannot happen again."
"What? It was fucking amazing… Wait." There is hesitation in his voice now. "You didn’t like it?"
Snorting, I squeeze my eyes shut. Salt, calm down! I might be an asshole, but I’m not that kind of asshole. That was his first blowjob, and I’m not gonna ruin the experience for him.
"That’s not it. It was amazing. I have no complaints. It’s just that I… I can’t do this. This whole thing. Case closed."
Something like a mix of relief and unease flickers across his face.
"But if it was good, then why…?"
"I don’t want to talk about it!" I snap, painfully aware of my body reacting to the fact that his hand is still wrapped around my bicep. What the hell is this? Why does he get to affect me like this?
"Why?"
"Can you just drop it?" I hiss.
My eyes flick to his fingers clenched around my arm. Silence stretches between us, broken only by the sound of our breathing.
When I look up, I meet Eliano’s intense golden eyes. His gaze drifts to my mouth, and for one reckless second I let myself imagine our lips meeting, but I can’t allow that. Nope.
And by now, it’s not about me anymore. I like to think I’m a decent judge of character, and I know Eliano isn’t a bad guy, not someone I’d ever want to hurt on purpose.
But it does not change anything. I can’t stay, I can’t be his, and this island will never be my home.
I have to avenge Senu. Honor demands it.
The sheer weight of the sacrifice he made for me demands it.
I am not some unprincipled bastard who would let his murderer walk free, the man who tortured, raped, and killed my beloved brother, someone good to his very core, kind, compassionate, and endlessly caring.
The thought of what Senu endured, of the sad shape his life took, and how brutally it ended snaps me out of the stupid pink haze I fall into whenever Eliano touches me.
Suddenly, I see his eyes slowly slide down to my forearm, to my tattoo, ‘Justice for Senu’.
I yank my arm out of his grip with a sharp motion.
Eliano straightens, his brows knitting together.
"What is your problem, Salt? Why did you even want to join this program? You know, something has felt off from the very beginning. Are you trying to make a run for it? Do you see this as an opportunity?" He gestures vaguely around us.
I freeze. Damn it. Is he that intuitive, or am I that transparent? Shit. I need to wriggle out of this somehow.
"What are you even talking about?" I mumble, avoiding his gaze, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. My heart starts to race, and I am certain that his alpha hearing can pick it up.
Eliano leans in slightly, locking his eyes on me.
"Tell me the truth, because if that is your plan, if this is all just a setup for you, then I am not going to make a fool of myself trying something between us."
I swallow hard. Fuck. There is no good way out of this. If I tell him the truth, I am sure he will report it to someone. We are nowhere near close enough for me to trust him with my plan.
On the other hand, if I deny it outright, he may move on to the next step and actually try ‘something between us’.
The dilemma gets settled for me by outside interference. Three people are heading our way, deep in conversation.
It is a program couple, an alpha and a beta, along with another beta with bright green dyed hair, wearing a T-shirt marked Sector C, clearly a staff member.
"Oh," the beta says cheerfully, "perfect timing. I am guessing you must be Salt and Eliano, right?"
Eliano nods slowly.
"Welcome to the island!" the man exclaims enthusiastically. "I am Pip, your entertainment coordinator. I would like to invite you today after obed to an erotic movie screening. Tonight’s feature is The Invader!" And he winks.
I open my mouth to say that I have zero interest in erotic film screenings, but then I remember how things work here. Technically, you can refuse, but in reality, not really.
Eliano seems to understand that too, because he nods and says, "Sure, we’ll stop by. Which room is the screening in?"
"Room three. You are very welcome!" Pip flashes a wide grin. "Have you settled in on the island yet? Can I help with anything, maybe give you some tips?" he offers with enthusiasm, but I am convinced he is just another Miller type. Polite on the surface, something else underneath.
Unexpectedly, the alpha speaks up. He and his beta husband have been standing slightly aside, but now the man steps closer.
"Welcome to the island. I should introduce myself as well. I am Jeff, and this is my husband, Shane. We are from unit one," he says, with a noticeable emphasis.
I realize that if I understand this correctly, the residential units must be assigned by seniority or arrival order. Does that mean they were the very first couple here?
It dawns on me that the whole row of modules goes up to number 71, ours being the last inhabited. But there are only 41 pairs, so they’re clearly keeping the units left behind by couples who made it through the program, like quiet reminders that it actually works.
So. Unit one… They are veterans.
"I wanted to come talk to you because tonight we are having one of our little games, called Last Man Standing," Jeff grins.
"I thought I would invite you. The guys are getting a bit bored when it is always obvious Bashir is going to win.
A new alpha is fresh blood, always good for stirring things up. "
I glance at Eliano, whose expression tightens slightly.
"You know… I would rather get familiar with the island and Sector C first, ease into things a bit. Maybe another time?" he says politely but firmly.
I have already noticed that Eliano has a stubborn streak. If he does not want something, he is not easy to sway.
Then Pip cuts in. "I really encourage you to at least come watch. It is a very dynamic spectacle. People have a great time!"
Throughout all of this, Shane has been quietly watching us. His face is like a mask. At one point his eyes meet mine, and I see his lips twitch ever so slightly, as if he wants to say something, but he stops himself. There is something unsettling about the emptiness in his gaze.
I have to admit, he’s a very attractive beta. He has long, bleached blond hair with strawberry-blond strands and heavy makeup around pale blue eyes. He has a tragic, melancholic aura a lot of guys dig. His lips are clearly done, the upper one plump in that distinctive Instagram influencer way.
"Well… maybe we will come just to watch," Eliano says, though his tone promises nothing.
Pip, Jeff, and Shane say their goodbyes and head off. I take the chance to bolt down the corridor, guessing correctly that it cuts through the entertainment area, past the cafeteria, and out the other side.
Eliano walks next to me without saying a word, clearly lost in his thoughts. Part of me is almost glad we ran into Jeff, because Eliano now looks stuck on this whole Last Man Standing thing. At least, that is what I hope is on his mind. His expression is still grim.
We return to unit seventy-one without another word.
As soon as we get there, Eliano plops down on the couch and grabs the laptop, not saying a word.
I was actually hoping to look something up online about the ocean currents around Calsing Island, but that can wait. Given his mood, it’s probably better to just let him have the laptop.
The papers from the contract are still lying on the windowsill, printed only on one side. I flip them over, they’ll do. Luckily, among the stuff I brought in my toiletry bag is a black fine-liner. I sit on the bed and start sketching tattoo designs.
Silence hangs in the room. Eliano stares at the screen, not even sparing me a glance.
Honestly, that works for me. I guess? The more I talk to him, the harder it will be later not to talk to him. I have to maintain that status quo at all costs.
We don’t leave the unit again until our wristbands beep, it is time for the so-called obed.
Eliano keeps quiet the entire time, even during the walk.
In the cafeteria, though, he spots Evan and Roman, and we join them. Unexpectedly, it is Roman who speaks first this time.
"I am guessing you have already had your first fun visit to our medical office," he says with mild amusement.
I lift my head, the topic instantly putting me on edge. Before I can answer, Eliano speaks up.
"Yes. That place is stranger than I initially thought," he says dryly. "And it seems like they push to fuck people pretty hard."
"That is true. We were lucky we had known each other for almost two weeks before coming here," Evan adds.
"After we signed our contract, there were some delays with paperwork.
Roman was able to stay with me during that time, wearing an ankle monitor, before we were transported to the island.
So it was much easier for us. But we have heard from other couples that the first medical visit…
was not exactly enjoyable," he says, holding back a smile.
"We met literally the day before, so it was a bit… unexpected," Eliano adds with a hint of bitterness. A very forced smile crosses his face.
"It feels like everything here is only voluntary on the surface," I dare to mutter.
Evan’s expression shifts slightly, turning awkward.