ELIANO #5
"Thanks, it worked like a charm. One rusty needle, and they weren’t eager anymore to beat us…
At the same time, I tried hard to get a normal job, but I kept getting kicked out after a few days because of my…
acting out. Back then, my brain problems were really bad.
So Senu kept supporting us alone, and when we were starving, I was grateful that he brought back some money. Trust me, hunger changes a person."
Again, I say nothing. I may not have experienced months of living on the streets, but I had a small taste of it, enough to imagine how desperate someone can become. Some even are willing to take food out of trash…
"Back then, Senu sometimes had a regular client who would come by the gas station and leave him an extra tip after a good blowjob, and over time Senu managed to put some money aside.
He kept pushing me to see a doctor about my outbursts and lack of self-control, and he had just enough cash to cover the visit.
The tests showed minor damage to my prefrontal lobe.
The doctor said there was not much he could do, although some famous guy from Malden Pharmaceuticals was running an experimental treatment and was taking people straight off the street who were willing to try it. "
"You don’t say. Blue Lowen?" I ask.
"Yeah. Exactly! The genius dude. We went there and somehow a miracle happened. I got in, got the meds, and stayed on them for a couple of months. And it actually helped. Not everything just magically vanished, but I got solid enough to start looking for a job again. That’s when I met Darius, who owned a tattoo parlor.
I told him my story one night, just on impulse, and he said I could start apprenticing there.
So for the first few months I worked for free, but Darius said I had real talent, and after a while he hired me and paid me my first decent money. "
"I have seen your sketches. They are beautiful. You really are talented."
Salt is quiet for a moment, then mutters, "Thanks. So. Things actually started to look better. I could finally take care of both me and Senu, and he didn’t have to see clients anymore, which was a huge relief for him.
He got to go to college like a normal student.
I really thought we were back on track. Senu also landed a job at a decent family grill bar, and I was sure our lives were finally heading somewhere good.
But after a while, I started noticing stuff was off with him.
At first it was small things. That empty stare, the way he’d just kind of shut down and slump.
Turned out he’d started doing drugs. He kept it hidden, made sure not to touch anything at work, but nights were a whole different story.
Sometimes I couldn’t get through to him at all, like he wasn’t even there.
Totally checked out. Sometimes he’d swear he was done for good, a week would go by, and then it’d start all over again.
He had anxiety, panic attacks, the whole mess.
The shit he’d been through before, all that violence, it just wouldn’t let him sleep at night… "
Salt reaches for the wine bottle and takes another sip. Thankfully, his drinking does not seem excessive, and that’s good, because I wouldn’t want this night to turn into drunkenness and a blackout.
"But I refused to give up on Senu, because he never gave up on me. If he hadn’t dragged me to that doctor back then, my situation would never have gotten better.
After two years of that half-assed life, riding ups and downs, good times and bad, I finally talked him into rehab.
His boss was chill enough to grant him a month off, and Senu ended up in a solid facility.
They gave him therapy and real support, which finally got him clean.
The last two years were better for both of us.
He finally managed to finish college and stayed off the drugs.
He started dating again, one beta and then another, but even though they were good people, I think Senu still had some demons to deal with.
Sometimes I could see the sadness in him, a kind of weird longing.
One day he told me he dreamed of meeting his True Mate, that he thought it would fix everything.
He got a little obsessed with the idea, reading everything he could online about how to make it happen, but of course no one had a magic solution… "
"Apparently he never met Storm Nolan," I say cynically.
Salt does not respond.
"All that time, the last four years, I was working at the tattoo shop and doing alright. And that was when the thing that messed everything up happened. One day Senu’s boss called me, saying Senu hadn’t shown up for work.
I went looking for him, and after three days I found out that the Tanners had taken him, these vile bastards running some underground porn operation… "
Salt’s fists clench tighter. I use the moment to gently slide my hands along his forearms and curl my fingers around his tightened ones. He lets me, even though he does not seem entirely comfortable with it.
"I went to their house and heard them talking about him.
At first not everything sank in, but then I heard his name and how Daniel Tanner was raping him and choking him, how he was torturing him.
I snapped. I shot them. Then the cops took me in.
Yeah. So. That is my story," Salt takes a deeper breath.
I don’t respond for a moment, my fingers moving gently as they weave between his, then I lean in and place a soft kiss against his temple.
I know immediately that the gesture is too much for him.
It belongs to the realm of a relationship, and a subtle wave runs through his body, something caught between tension and a flicker of fear.
I straighten up, easing my mouth away from his temple.
"Thank you, Salt, for telling me all of this. I know it must have cost you a lot, and I really appreciate the trust you showed me. What happened to you and Senu is truly the kind of story nightmares are made of…"
Salt exhales and lowers his head slightly.
"When I look back on it now, I think there were so many things that could have been done better…"
"Do not blame yourself. You were both overwhelmed by the trauma, and you were dealing with serious health issues on top of that," I say.
Salt snorts softly.
"Yeah… okay. But enough about me. This topic is like an ever-flowing river, I could keep going, but I don’t really want to. I have spent hours of my life stuck in what-ifs. Now I want to hear your story too, because I am sure you did not have it easy either."
We fall silent for a moment. Salt’s hands relax a little now, resting more softly in my grip. I look at his fingers, slender, with thin tattoo lines of threads running across the backs of his hands, shaped like an ornate web.
"Why spiders? Out of all the ideas, you chose this one. What were the reasons?"
"It’s a piece of the life Senu and I had back then.
In abandoned, ruined buildings where we squatted during the time we were homeless.
Those spiders… they were everywhere. I’d wake up and they’d be crawling on me.
At first I was scared, but then I just gave up.
Sometimes I even let them crawl over me.
It sounds silly, but it felt like… a symbol of my downfall.
My worthlessness. The lack of a future. And the web…
slowly covering me like a protective cocoon.
And what was left? Just this hope that maybe someday I’d come out of it in a better time. Changed. With my brain healed."
I swallow. "I’m sorry that you… suffered like that, Salt. I understand. No one should have to go through something like that."
Salt lets out another impatient snort. "But it’s still all about me… and I know you have your own story, and it’s no less tragic. Will you tell me?"
To be honest, I really don’t want to talk about it. But I get the feeling that for Salt this is the first moment when we actually start getting to know each other, and if we are about to have sex, it kind of makes sense to build at least a basic sense of trust and understanding first.
I can see why it matters, even if I am not in the mood to face my own inner demons. I would much rather move this to the bedroom and keep getting closer that way. Still, it feels important, so I start.
"Well, there are really only a few events that led me to where I am now.
In my family, out of three brothers, my uncle Tito was meant to become capo.
My father was second in line, and third was the youngest, Anzo, the only beta.
He was the sharpest of them all, and because of that, my father and Uncle Tito bullied and tortured him. "
"Tortured their own brother?"
"Yeah. It was horrific. Truly beyond words. Mafia upbringing taken to an extreme. But then my father unexpectedly found his True Mate when he was just eighteen. That changed him. He stepped away from the mafia and from his past, and he apologized to Anzo. But Anzo never forgave him, nor Tito. When I was a toddler, Anzo decided to take his revenge on his brothers. One day he went to Tito’s house and killed him.
Then he came to ours. He killed my dad, and the energy coil between True Mates snapped, killing my father. "
"Oh, fuck! Does it actually work that way?"
"Sadly, yes."
"That is a rare way to die, but so horrible. I’m so sorry… I didn't know your parents were True Mates," Salt says, his voice uncertain.
I shrug. "Yeah. People often say True Mates are hard to kill, but it’s bullshit. In a way they are much easier to kill than anyone else. You pull a plug on one and the other dies instantly."
"Well, but they can regenerate if they… you know. Enter the Joining, join their body in healing sex."
I snort in amusement. "Yeah… maybe for a wound that can let you stay alive long enough to do it! But not from a headshot. Sorry."
I can hear Salt swallowing loudly. "Right."