SALT
The first week after Eliano leaves the island passes with me in a constant state of rage and feeling completely broken inside. It feels like waking up in hell and being unable to find a way out.
A trap. Anger, frustration, and hurt mix together into something torturous. And on top of that, the panic, the slowly growing sense of dread.
Day after day, I curl up on my bed. I barely get up to use the bathroom, barely drag myself to get food. I feel sick.
Since I am no longer in a pairing, I am not expected to participate in group activities on the island anymore, so I only show up for meals, and even that not always.
But to go step by step, it started like this: already on the first day after Eliano left, I run into a certain situation: a knock, and two people standing at my door, staring at me intensely.
Bashir and Fred.
The situation quickly becomes clear. This asshole Eliano left me under their fucking care. Some ‘protector’ shit.
I protest and tell them to fuck off, but Bashir crosses his arms over his chest and says there’s no way I’m walking around without my mate among alphas who already had their eyes on me before. It won’t end well.
Eventually, I give in, only because I’m mentally exhausted and don’t feel like arguing with idiots.
I'm escorted to the dining room, wearing a sulk on my face.
Also, a new chief arrives on the island. Mr. Gomez.
He calls a meeting for our sector, explains how things will work now, apologizes for what Sidorov did, and says the council has opened a case against him and Drax. They’re also trying to get compensation for the people affected. I only half listen, stuck in my own head.
Bashir and Fred aren’t the only ones suddenly acting like they need to orbit me.
Evan and Roman sit with me every single time.
I’m honestly surprised they don’t ask where Eliano is, but that mystery doesn’t last long.
Later that same day, I can't stand it anymore.
So I corner them and ask straight up if Eliano said anything before he left.
They hesitate, then admit he talked to them before leaving the island and asked them to keep me company.
I have to bite my tongue not to snap. Like, wow. Thanks for the performance. You used to avoid us like we were contagious, and now you’re lining up to play supportive best friend? But I keep my mouth shut. I just can’t waste my energy on one more thing.
To their credit, they don’t push, pry, or make me figure out my feelings, which wouldn’t be possible anyway. So the first week goes by like that, under new management, but mostly the same daily routine.
Gomez does introduce a new program, though. Couples now have a choice: besides the ‘natural’ stimulation from island activities, they can opt for chemical stimulation, something this place never offered before since it used to be handled elsewhere. It basically turns the facility into a hybrid.
All these changes and rotations barely register with me. I’m consumed by constant anger at Eliano, the situation, the world, my own choices, the Tanners, basically everything.
A few days later, I start to quietly appreciate that Eliano talked Bashir into being my protector, and for some reason, that makes me oddly upset.
One evening, I go for a short walk to clear my head, and I decide to stop at the dining room for a late snack. It’s open until 11 pm and offers sandwiches.
Then I see two alphas standing near the entrance to the cafeteria, talking animatedly. They notice me, and one of them turns.
"Hey," he calls out. "Wait."
Reluctantly, I slow down. "What do you want?"
The alpha presses on. "Salt, right? I’m Steph. Do you know there’s some gossip about you?"
My face must say enough, because the alpha laughs and adds,
"I heard that on the outside you were called the Alpha Slayer, that you killed four of us. Do you have something against alphas?"
"I have something against alphas who kidnap and rape omegas, yes."
The other alpha laughs like my words amuse him and snorts,
"Where did you lose your own alpha? Killed him too? Scared away? Or were you just insufferable?"
"Not your fucking business," I snarl and try to walk past, but then the other one takes a step toward me, blocking my way, and says, "Isn’t it a little lonely? Missing some alpha dick?"
Before I can answer, the dining hall door opens, and none other than Bashir steps out, calling from the doorway, "Steph, Carl! Can I have a word with you?"
I take the opportunity to slip past the two alphas and head inside, while Bashir stays outside with them for a moment.
In the dining hall, I can see Fred sitting at a table, staring at the window that shows Bashir talking to those alphas. They obviously came here for a late-night snack too, but noticed me and decided to intervene. Hmm. I must say, I’m glad they were here.
"You shouldn’t walk around alone. Some alphas found out you killed four of them and are upset about it," he says quietly.
"The Alpha Slayer can always add some more of them to his killing list," I mutter sourly, though I’m well aware that without a gun as a force equalizer, I’m screwed.
Fred keeps a neutral face as he answers, "Please, for your own safety, let Bashir take care of this."
"Fine!" I growl and go get my sandwich.
I’m annoyed, infuriated, and all over the place. I don’t want Bashir’s protection. I would rather Eliano do it. But oh well, I did actually scare him away. Steph was right. That’s on me.
The next few days I spend mostly locked in my unit. From time to time, I can hear footsteps behind my house and someone knocking on the windows or the walls, as if they’re hunting me, encircling me, cornering me.
One day, I find "Alpha Slayer’s Lair" graffiti on the side wall.
Yeah, I’m pretty pissed off about it, because I remember the last time I had to live in constant fear of violence from alphas, and that was when Senu and I lived on the streets. I promised myself never to end up in a similar situation again, but here I am, and it just sucks.
Well, I guess I’ll just have to live with the consequences of kicking Eliano out, won’t I?
Then one day, music bands arrive on the island, local ones, brought in to play for the third anniversary of the facility’s opening.
Each band is assigned to a different sector. Gomez has no intention of mixing the crowd.
Our band is scheduled to play Latin music, and it is clearly meant to be a cheerful event.
Evan and Roman knock on my door for a good five minutes before I finally open it.
After some long negotiations, they manage to drag me out of my module, despite my justified resistance. I explain the situation with the alphas to them, but they promise that Bashir will be there and that he’ll keep an eye on me.
They insist I need some fresh air, since I’ve been locked inside for too long. I get the impression they’re worried about my mental state.
We sit at a table and talk. Or they talk. I’m sulking.
Bashir is seated at the next table, engaged in conversation with three couples who hold seniority on the island.
At some point, I notice two other alphas nearby, drinking beer at the bar, chatting, and watching me. They’re not the same ones I talked to before, but they’re clearly into me.
Unexpectedly, they grab extra mugs and come over to us.
"Mind if we join you, gorgeous?" one of them asks me. "Want a drink?"
"I don’t think so," a voice sounds from behind them.
It is Bashir again. He clearly has been paying attention.
"Guys, your betas are waiting at your table. I doubt they would approve of this. I suggest you head back there. There is nothing for you here," he says firmly.
"And what is it to you? Stay out of things that are not your business," one of them snaps.
"While his alpha is absent, I am his protector," Bashir says, his tone sharp.
A deep silence falls.
The two alphas do not try to argue. They turn around and leave.
Bashir looks at me, his face expressionless.
Honestly, I should probably say thanks, but I’m still low-key pissed that I even have to be protected.
Still, I also have no desire to deal with horny alphas whose betas have bored them and who are looking for a free hole.
So I just keep my tongue in check. Fine, I’ll survive this. And my pride will too.
When Bashir walks away, I listen to the music, and it slowly dawns on me that, as infuriating as Eliano could be, he didn’t just leave me on this island to fend for myself without caring what might happen.
He still gave a damn, even after all the hate-yous I threw at him.
Somehow, that just makes it harder to accept he left for good.
But anger mixed with gratitude is the worst possible combination. It leaves me with a two-day moral hangover.
The second week sucks even more.
The only thing that got better is that after I gloomily told Bashir that alphas were giving me a hard time by knocking on my walls at night, he started doing random scouting trips near my unit and scared them off.
So yeah, I get more peace and quiet now, but that doesn’t mean I have any peace inside at all.
Interestingly, my anger at Eliano starts to change, slowly turning into deep sadness and hurt.
At the same time, my body’s acting all weird too. Something’s definitely up with me. I feel hot all the time, always tired, not really hungry, and food doesn’t make me happy like it used to.
Then, one day, another turning point rolls around.
It comes with a chat I have with Roman and Evan.
During dinner, we join Bashir and Fred at their table. The conversation flows easily, and for the first time I learn why Roman is here.