Chapter 6
Alicia was waiting for him. She was still wearing the same clothes, and it didn’t look like she had slept.
“Jon! What the fuck were you thinking? You embarrassed me last night.”
“Good morning to you too, Alicia.” He didn’t want a confrontation, and he was unsure why she was so angry.
“I’m just gonna get changed right quick. Levi’s going to show me around town.”
“Oh, so Levi is going to show you around town? There weren’t supposed to be any fags there last night.”
“What the fuck Alicia, do you think gay people live in some kind of apartheid state where we’re only allowed in certain parts of town?” He tried to get past her to get to his room, but she blocked his way. He was panicking inside.
“Oh, so it’s ‘we’ now, is it? You’re sure you’re a fag? Last night, you were supposed to get drunk and hook up with one of my friends. That would’ve convinced you to be normal. But NO! You make a blithering fool of yourself and disappear. What the fuck did you do last night? You didn’t sleep with that guy, did you?”
He didn’t reply, but his avoidance of making eye contact gave him away.
“You did! Oh, God.” Her face went pale, and he took advantage of her shock to rush past her and to his room. He slammed the door and locked it.
He sat on the bed and could feel the tears forming in his eyes. “Why is this shit happening now?” he thought. He sent a text to Levi. “ Alicia’s being a bitch. Be out in a few. I’m sorry. ”
His phone vibrated almost immediately. “ It’s no problem, babe. Let me know if you need backup. ” Jon desperately wanted to ask Levi to come in, but didn’t want to further antagonize his sister. He sat there, unsure of what to do.
She pounded on the door. “You know you’re going to hell, right? Piece of shit. I know you can hear me.” She rattled the handle, trying to force her way in.
“If you felt this way, why did you push me to ask him?”
“Because I was hoping he would beat the shit out of you.”
Jon stared at the door in disbelief. His sister wanted him to get assaulted. He could feel the tears streaming down his face.
“Just leave me alone.”
“I will NOT. This is my house. I only agreed to take you in because I thought you were confused, and we could help you understand you weren’t like that. You can just get your shit and get out. If you aren’t out of my house in the next 15 minutes, I’m calling the fucking cops and saying you and that faggot out there were trying to kill me.”
Jon’s head dropped. He rapidly sent another text. “ I hate to ask, but do you mind taking me to a cheap hotel while I figure things out? We may need to reschedule our date .” Levi’s reply was just as quick as his last. Jon hoped he couldn’t hear the commotion from the driveway.
“ I don’t mind a bit, babe. Don’t leave anything behind .”
For the second time in a week, he hastily prepared to take everything that he owned away from what he had thought was a safe place. No time to be sentimental. No one to help him. “They all fucking hate me,” he mumbled between sobs, “but why the hell do I still love them?” He stuffed the last of his clothes back into the suitcase from the pile he had left the day before. God, that was a lifetime ago.
He heard Alicia on the phone from the next room. It sounded like she was talking to their mother. While he couldn’t make out everything, he heard her apologizing, saying she tried, and something about him being irredeemable trash.
He grabbed his laptop bag and his pillow from the bed and double-checked that he had his phone charger. “Alicia, I’m gone. You don’t have to worry about me anymore. I want to tell you I’m sorry. Tell them that too. Maybe one day y’all will come around.”
“Don’t count on it, you piece of shit. Leave my key on the counter. I don’t want your faggoty ass sneaking in here.”
His head dropped. He wanted to lash out, to tell her to go fuck herself, but he couldn’t. He placed the keyring with the lone key to her house on the counter, and took a deep breath, wiping his eyes. The last thing he wanted was for Levi to see him crying.
He walked out the door. Levi was still waiting in the car. “Is that everything?” His question was so loud, Jon wondered if he wanted Alicia and the neighbors to hear.
He nodded silently in response.
“Just put it in the back. Let’s get you the hell out of here. You deserve better.”
Jon was certain now that he wanted Alicia to hear. Through the pain, he smiled. This man, who was a stranger not even twenty-four hours prior, was rescuing him from his family. Once they were on the road, Levi asked him something, but he couldn’t hear the words over the screaming in his brain “What the fuck am I going to do? I don’t have enough money to spend more than a few days in even the cheapest roach motel. I don’t have anyone, and there’s no way I can impose myself on Levi since we just met. Should I ask him to take me into Houston, so I’ll be closer to jobs, even if I am living on the streets? Is that the final ‘fuck you’ from my family? You met this man you are interested in, and we are going to fuck it up for you?”
He put his face in his hands and wept.
He felt a hand on his shoulder. It was comforting, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up. He didn’t want to say goodbye, but he knew that this changed everything.