Chapter 49
Jon fell onto the couch. He hadn’t slept. He had barely made it through work. It was worth it, though. He had stayed with Robbie most of the night. They had talked and laughed together. They had cried about the circumstances that had brought them back together.
Jon and Robbie had helped Levi clean up and close the bar. True to his word, Levi had paid him generously. Jon knew he paid more than he normally would have and loved him even more for it.
He closed his eyes. He longed for sleep. His limbs were heavy. Just when he was welcoming sleep’s warm embrace, there was a knock at the door. He rolled onto his side, willing the disturbance to leave. Another knock. He yelled, “Just a second” and sat up and let out a heavy sigh that ended in a yawn. He trudged to the door, and upon opening it, wished he’d kept ignoring the knocks.
“Alicia? What are you doing here?”
She scowled. “Why the fuck are you answering your door naked?”
He looked down and shook his head. “I’m not naked. I’m wearing sweatpants.” He cocked his head to the side. “And it’s my fucking house. I can answer the door however I want and for your information, I was about to take a nap.”
“Sorry to disturb your beauty sleep.” Her sarcasm felt softer than he had been expecting. “I need to talk to you.”
He looked at his sister. Expecting malice in her eyes, he found only concern.
He sighed. “Come in. Have a seat and I’ll go find a shirt since you think I’m naked .”
He walked into the bedroom, pulled a t-shirt from the dresser, and slipped it on. Alicia called out to him.
“Didn’t you work today?”
He chuckled as he returned to the living room. Alicia had taken a seat on the couch. He sat in the recliner. “If I didn’t tell you, I work from home. I didn’t have any meetings today, so I just stayed comfortable. It’s definitely a perk when you are going on zero sleep.”
She nodded. “What happened last night?”
He eyed her suspiciously. “A friend was having a rough time. We hadn’t talked in a while, and I guess time just got away from us.”
Her eyes narrowed. “And what did you tell Robbie?”
His mind raced. How did she know Robbie had been in town, and how did she know that’s who he was talking about? His heart raced. He was cautious. “What do you mean?”
She shrugged. “Mom called me. She got a call from his mother. Thanking her.”
Jon raised an eyebrow. “For what?”
“I don’t know what Robbie told you last night, but apparently, she thought he was going to die. She had to cut all ties after another failed stint at rehab and hadn’t talked to him in a couple of years.”
“He mentioned that. I hate it, and I feel responsible. I shouldn’t have just disappeared on him like that.”
“Why didn’t you keep in touch with him?”
Jon thought he heard genuine concern in her voice. He shrugged. “I was afraid.” He could feel her eyes boring through him, and he responded before she could ask. “He was my first crush, and I knew that eventually, I would have to come out and was terrified of how he would react.”
Alicia looked away. “I thought your first crush was that girl in your first-grade class. I forgot her name, but you know who I’m talking about. The one that beat up that older bully that time.”
“Shit, I’d forgotten about her. I don’t remember her name either. But I lied about that. Everything on tv and at church was always talking about how wrong gay people were. I might not have understood all of this then, but I knew they meant boys couldn’t have crushes on boys…so I lied. I had a crush on Robbie, but when anyone asked, I always said it was her. It was safe because she seemed to hate everyone.”
Alicia hadn’t moved. She was staring at something on the end table. “You knew then? So, you’ve always felt this way?” Her head cocked to the side. “Who’s this picture of?”
He followed her gaze and chuckled. “So, Grampa and Grandma Doyle came over for Sunday dinner with us. There was some weird thing between Grampa and Levi. Levi made the connection first after some conversation and pulled that picture out of his dad’s guitar case. That’s Grampa Doyle, Grandma Doyle, and Levi’s dad. They were apparently pretty good friends when Grampa lived in Baton Rouge.”
“Wait, that’s a lot to unpack. Our grandparents came to visit you and your boyfriend?”
He smiled. He’d told her something she hadn’t already known. “Yeah. It was nice. Gus came up from Galveston and manned the grill.” He watched the confusion creep across his sister’s face and decided to rattle the foundation a little more. “They really liked him, and then when they saw this picture it was a flood of old stories and good times I’d never heard before. I told Levi we should frame it.”
“I see.” There was an audible gulp as she gathered her thoughts. “So that explains why Mom and Dad have been acting weird. I think they’ve been arguing about something.”
Jon dropped his head. He never liked it when they fought. “Grampa emailed me and said he’d been talking to dad. Do you know what the fights are about?”
“No. I didn’t know about the visit. I thought they were arguing because you’d upset Grampa by coming out or something… I didn’t realize he was upset…” her voice trailed off. “Anyways, Mom was confused because she got this call from Robbie’s mom thanking her for raising such a wonderful son. She sent me over to find out what you had told Robbie.”
“We talked about everything he’d been through, his fight for sobriety, and how he was trying to get to Houston for some sober living program. We put him on the commuter bus, gave him some cash to get him settled in, and promised to stay in touch. He sent me a text this morning when he arrived and he’s going to call this weekend once he gets settled into the program.”
“So, you didn’t tell him to reach out to his mother and have her call?”
“Alicia, do you really think that I would be that manipulative? I’ve made my peace with everything. I can’t force you all to love me or accept me, and I know I can’t force you to love and accept Levi. Y’all may have pushed me out the door, but I’ve landed, and I’m grounded now. I don’t want a relationship with y’all if you don’t accept me for who I am and accept Levi as the man I love. Sorry if that’s mean or blunt, but I’m done with anger and tears. I’m just telling you the truth. I don’t play games.” He paused. “I told Robbie what had happened, but I didn’t vilify anyone. I just told him that maybe one day when he’s better he and his mother could rebuild their relationship, but if they couldn’t he could find a family here that loves, supports, and cares for him just like I have. Sis, I hope we can reconnect someday, but I won’t force it. I can’t make you love me, and I can’t make you love Levi. I can cut you out for being bigoted, just like you all cut me out for existing. At least you all have a chance to change. Y’all are the only ones who can fix this shit.”
Alicia nodded. A tear trailed down her cheek. “I see. OK. I need to be heading out. I’ll tell mom that you didn’t tell Robbie to have his mom call.” She stood. “Thank you. You and Levi have a nice home here.”
He walked Alicia to the door and locked it behind her before turning and falling against it. He wasn’t sad, but told himself that he should have been. Instead, he was filled with happiness. His sister understood, and while she hadn’t embraced him, he had hope that she would someday. He had said what needed to be said. He had his family. If his parents and his sister wanted to be a part of that, the choice was theirs, not his. He smiled as tears filled his eyes.