Chapter 61
Levi hadn’t said a word since leaving Derecho. Jon looked at him from the passenger seat. His heart pounded in his chest. This was not how he had expected this weekend to start. James had sent a text soon after Levi had tried to stay at the bar. Jon had called Gus. Gus was the one to make Levi leave and told him he had to go to Louisiana. The conversations that followed were hard, but Levi had eventually agreed that Gus was right. He always was.
Levi’s right hand was on his thigh. Jon reached over, interlacing their fingers.
Levi glanced over and smiled, squeezing his hand. “Are you ok? You seem a little nervous.”
Jon’s heart raced. “You’re asking if I’m ok? Your mother died. We’re going back to your hometown. I should be the one asking you if you’re ok.”
Levi chuckled. “Well, no one there knows me the way they think they do, and even then, they probably won’t recognize me. Remember, I haven’t looked back or been in touch with any of these people over the years. I’ve tried to forget this place.” His voice thickened and Jon could tell there was more, but he didn’t press the issue. He wondered if it had to do with his mother’s death, or the unhappy memories he alluded to, but never shared. But Levi was right, he was a little nervous. It wasn’t important. He didn’t know anyone in Persier, and he didn’t care. Levi was his only concern.
“I know - and I’m here for you. I love you more than life itself.” He squeezed Levi’s hand again. “And I wasn’t talking about the people there.”
“I know, babe. I promise, I’m fine. Remember, I wrote her off a long time ago.” He sighed. “But I am a little pissed that we’re not on the beach like we were supposed to be. It’s almost like she’s giving me one last ‘fuck you’.”
Jon nodded. He couldn’t help thinking of his own plans for their weekend. “I know you’d rather be in Galveston, but it’s not like this was something we could avoid.” He was worried. Since they had left the bar, Levi had been quieter than usual.
Jon turned toward the window when Levi didn’t respond. He stared out the window, hating the silence hanging in the air. He didn’t want to push Levi to open up, but he knew there was something going on. Jon couldn’t be sure what was happening inside Levi’s head, but he was determined to be there for him.
“Is there anything I need to know? Like you know, when you go to the zoo, they tell you not to make eye contact with the animals.”
Levi looked at him and burst into laughter. “I needed that. That’s a good start. Think of it like going to the zoo. Don’t make eye contact for too long and don’t trust anyone. Be friendly, but don’t be too open in conversation. Think of it like going back to high school. Everything you say and do will come up again later and will be used against you. No reason to give them a chance to judge you even more than they already will be.” He sighed. “You know I appreciate you coming. I was just trying to protect you from them. Please don’t think it was because I was trying to hide. I’m not ashamed of who I am, or who you are to me.”
Jon squeezed Levi’s hand. “I know. You’ve never given me a reason to doubt you, and I would never put that kind of pettiness on you. I’ll try to play shy, but God help anyone who tries to give you any shit. Just let me know if you want me to drive.” He stared at the GPS on the dash. It was the reason he had insisted they take his car. That, and the weather said they might hit rain heading east. He didn’t want to get caught in a downpour in Levi’s old rag top.
“I will, but I think I’m good. We’re about 30 minutes to our exit, and we should probably stop for some fuel and coffee because it’ll probably be at least another hour after that if it rains. You can get some sleep if you want - I know I’m not being much of a conversationalist tonight.”
“Are you sure? I hate to do that to you.”
“I’m sure. No use in both of us being awake.”
“Ok, but don’t you dare hesitate to wake me if you need to. You know, if you want to talk, or if you just want me to talk.”
Jon released his grip on Levi’s hand and leaned into the passenger door. The heavens opened up. With Levi being so quiet, and the monotonous thwack-thwack-thwack of the wipers, Jon was asleep in no time.