Chapter 36
Hunter
The house is quiet when I get home. Mom’s car is gone, but Theo’s is still here. He’s not downstairs, so I make my way up the stairs to our room.
I didn’t want to leave him today. There were shadows dancing in his eyes, and he seemed… off. But he also didn’t want to go with me, and we needed feed. It was a tough choice, but I’m not sure I’ve ever made that feed run so quickly in my life.
When I push open the bedroom door, I’m not sure what I expected to fine, but it certainly isn’t Theo sitting criss-cross applesauce on our bed, something open in front of him and his phone balanced on his knee.
He looks up at me, his eyes sad. “Hi.”
“Hey, sweetheart. You okay?”
He nods, dropping his gaze to the… book in front of him. Walking to the bed, I climb up beside him. “What’s this?”
He drags a finger over the page, and I glance down to see a photo of a woman holding a baby. It takes no time to realize it’s Theo’s mom. He looks just like her.
“My mom.” He turns the photo album, tilting it toward me so I can see easier.
Flipping through, he shows me his life in perfect photos, explaining the ones he can. The times he remembers.
“This one,” he says, pointing to one with him standing in front of a gate, a huge grin on his face, “is from when I was eight. I wanted to visit the zoo for my birthday. I was upset they wouldn’t let me touch the animals.”
I grin. “Always been an animal lover, huh?”
He lets out a sad laugh. “Yeah, I guess so.” He sighs. “I want to call my parents.”
I nod slowly. “Okay. I think that’s a great idea.”
“I’m afraid.” His throat bobs, and he turns his head as tears fill his eyes.
“Hey,” I whisper, reaching for him. As soon as I do, he reaches back, letting me pull him into my lap.
I wrap my arms around him tightly, squeezing him to me as I rock him gently. “Why are you afraid?”
“What if they don’t want to talk to me?” His voice is muffled against me, and I slip my fingers into his hair.
“You won’t know unless you try, and either way, I’ll be here for you. I think they’ll want to hear from you, though. Can’t imagine a world where they wouldn’t.”
Theo lets out a hoarse chuckle. “Your mom said basically the same thing.”
“You talked to Mom about this?” I ask, smiling at the thought.
He nods. “Well, kinda. She talked to me, and all the stuff just kind of spilled out.”
“She’s a great person to talk to.”
Humming, he snuggles deeper into me. “She is. But yeah… I want to call them, but I’m just afraid. I’ve typed in the number like seven times, and I keep chickening out. I wanted to wait until you got home. Will you sit with me while I call?”
“Anything you need, sweetheart.”
“Can I stay here?”
I look around in confusion. “Sweetheart… you live here. Unless there’s something you wanna tell me.”
He groans. “I meant here. In your lap.”
Duh. I press a kiss to his head. “Course. Call them.”
Taking a deep breath, he nods, then picks up his phone and types in a number. His shaking thumb hovers over the call button, and finally, he presses it. It rings once, and he inhales sharply then hangs up, the phone trembling in his grasp.
“Theo… It’s okay,” I whisper. “You can do this.” I carefully work the phone free from his hand and pull up the number myself. “You ready?”
He nods, though he doesn’t actually look convinced.
I dial the number. He jolts when it rings, and I tighten my arm around him when he tries to reach for the phone. “Theo, it’s okay, just breathe.”
He does, his chest rising and falling in time with each ring. My heart sinks when it starts to seem like no one is going to answer, but finally, finally a woman’s voice comes over the line.
“Hello?”
I can tell right away that it’s Theo’s mom. Not because of her, but because of him. Because of the way his breath catches and the way his body tenses against mine.
I nod toward him, raising my eyebrows, trying to encourage him.
“Hello?” she says again. “Is anyone there?”
“Hi, ma’am,” I say, since it’s clear Theo isn’t quite ready to talk yet. “My name is Hunter Lock, and I’m calling about Theo—”
She interrupts me with a broken sob. “He’s dead, isn’t he? Oh God. I’ve been terrified of this call for a decade.”
My eyes widen, and Theo whimpers. “No!” I practically shout. “No, he’s not dead. He’s—”
“I’m here, Mom,” he whispers, his voice croaky and strained. “I’m not dead.”
There’s silence and then a long, deep exhale. I feel the relief in that exhale. The years of wondering and hoping and wishing and letdowns. I think Theo does too, because tears well up in his eyes.
“Theo,” she whispers. “Is it really you?”
“It’s me, Momma.”
My heart clenches at the soft tone of his voice. It feels like I’m holding eighteen-year-old Theo in my arms, his voice broken and his heart open and vulnerable. I press a kiss to his temple, letting my lips linger there as I breathe him in.
“How…” Her voice trails off.
“I’m sorry,” Theo chokes out. I rub his back, keeping my lips against his skin, hoping it’s soothing to him. “I should have called sooner. Way sooner, but I was scared and ashamed, and I—”
She shushes him softly through the phone, like he’s a small child, and my heart tumbles. I know that our brains can be mean to us. They can make us believe things that aren’t true, but that Theo thought for even a second that his mom wouldn’t want to talk to him again breaks my heart.
It’s easy to tell from her relief and the tone of her voice that she’s been waiting for this moment. Praying and wishing for it.
“I’m gonna give you some privacy,” I whisper.
He shakes his head. “Don’t leave me.”
If he wants me to stay, I’ll stay. It’s a no-brainer. I nod, holding him a little tighter.
“I’ve missed you so much, Theo. Where are you?”
Theo looks at me, so I nod. “I’m in a tiny town called Silverpine with Hunter. He’s my boyfriend.”
Another sigh of relief. “No more Damien?”
“No, Momma. I divorced him. Years ago. But now he’s dead. You were…” Theo’s voice gets choked. “You were right about him. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you.”
“I want to see you. Can I see you?”
Theo’s about to break down; I can tell, so I nuzzle his cheek, trying to remind him I’m here and he can do this.
“Yes,” he whispers. “Please. You and Dad both?”
He holds his breath.
“When? We’ll leave tonight as soon as he gets home.”
He exhales, his eyes falling shut. “Can Hunter text you the address?”
“Of course,” his mom says. “We just want to see you. We’ve wanted to see you for twelve years.”
He’s wanted that too. And I don’t think he fully realized how much until this very moment.
“Okay,” he whispers. He’s getting closer to the edge, his breathing growing more ragged, and his eyes shining with unshed tears. “I… I have to go for now,” he chokes out, trying to keep himself together. “But Hunter will… He’ll—” A hiccuping sob leaves Theo, and he clamps his mouth shut.
“I’ll text you the address and get everything ready for you,” I interject. “Just let us know when you think you’ll be here.”
She’s crying too now. Or at least it sounds like it.
Her soft sniffles are carrying over the line, and when she speaks again, her voice is as thick and choked as Theo’s.
“I’ll call your dad now, and he’ll leave work early.
We’ll leave as soon as he gets home. I—I need to pack.
” She inhales a shaky breath. “Thank God you’re alive. Thank God.”
My stomach twists at the thought that he almost wasn’t. Not even because of Damien, but because of his own mind. This could have easily been a different phone call.
“Bye, Mom,” he whispers, voice shaking. “I love you.”
“Bye, baby. I love you too. More than anything in this world,” she says, sounding just as emotional as him.
When I hang up the phone, I immediately send her a text with our address. The second the text is sent, Theo turns in my hold, pressing his face against my throat as he sobs brokenly into my skin.
His tears are dripping into the collar of my shirt. Each sniffle and whimper that leaves him has my heart cracking wide open. I rub his back, rocking him gently in my arms. “It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re okay.”
“I was… a-already having a bad day a-and… and,” he cries, his back heaving under my palm.
“Shhh, sweetheart,” I whisper, cradling him to me. “It’s all gonna be okay.”
I can’t quite tell if these are painful sobs or healing sobs, but it doesn’t matter. Either way, I’m gonna do everything I can to be exactly what he needs.
“I was scared…” He sniffles hard, shuddering in my arms as he starts to calm down. “I woke up feeling so icky.”
I could tell. I’ve been worried about it, about him, all day.
“And then, I just kept looking at that photo album and thinking about my parents. But also about you and Luca and Arlo and how I have friends now and people who care about me. I can’t remember the last time I had people care about me. But that’s not true because it was them.”
He inhales a deep breath, his body jolting with a shiver. “It was my parents. They tried to tell me not to go with Damien.” When he pulls back to look at me, his eyes are glistening with tears. “I thought they’d hate me.”
I cup his chin, brushing my thumb along his jaw. “You’re impossible to hate, sweetheart.”
He melts into me. That’s the only way to describe it. His head falls back against my shoulder, his body slumping in my hold.
“Hang on, sweetheart,” I whisper. “Let me get us situated better.”
After sitting up, he carefully crawls out of my lap. I move to the headboard, placing pillows behind me. When I get settled, I pat my lap again, and he climbs right back into it. Curling up against me, he buries his face in my throat.
Each of his breaths gusts over my skin as he goes boneless in my arms. I hold him close, toying with the strands of his hair. It’s not until his breathing evens out a few minutes later that I realize he’s fallen asleep.
Good. He could use a little nap. It’s been an emotional day.
Closing my eyes, I soak in the warmth of his body. He’s so damn perfect. So strong. He’s survived so many things that were meant to destroy him. Things that no one should have to experience or live through.
“I love you,” I whisper to him. Maybe if I say the words enough, they’ll sink into his subconscious and make him feel loved even when I’m not around.
“I love you,” I say again, letting the strands of his hair slip through my fingers.
That’s all I want. For him to know that he’s loved. Unconditionally. “I love you.”
I press a kiss to the top of his head, then lean back against the headboard. A nap sounds like a good idea, and with Theo’s gentle weight against me and the soothing feeling of his breathing, it’s surprisingly easy to fall asleep.