Chapter 5
Noah frowned at the fear in Addie’s eyes, fingers still wrapped around her wrist. “Are you okay?”
Her gaze shot behind her before she looked back at him. “I’m fine, sorry. I just…I thought I saw something but—”
“What did you see?”
“A shadow. But it was dark. You can’t see a shadow in the dark.” She slapped a hand over her eyes. “God, I feel stupid.”
He scanned behind her, then back to the driveway. He would argue that in the dark, a shadow could still be the outline of a figure.
He slipped his hand from her wrist to the middle of her back, not even caring if the touch was too intimate, before nudging her forward. “Come on.”
Awareness from where he touched her warmed the skin on his palm, shooting up his shoulder. He’d been driving home from the park when her call had come through. It had surprised the hell out of him to see her name on his screen, but in a good way.
“You always keep pepper spray on you?”
A hint of a smile curved her lips. “I could start an store with all the pepper spray I own, courtesy of my father, so I may as well keep one in my purse.”
Good. Noah liked that she had a way to defend herself. Not that she should have to.
When they reached the front door, he handed her the canister and pulled out the flathead screwdriver and slim tension wrench from his back pocket.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m getting you into your house, Addison.”
“With a screwdriver?”
He slipped the tension wrench into the bottom of the keyhole and applied just enough pressure, as if he was turning a key. Then he worked the screwdriver into the lock and felt for the pins.
“You look like you’ve done this before,” Addie said suspiciously.
“Many times, and not just as part of my SERE training. You’d be surprised at what we learn in the military, and maybe a bit scared.”
“Yeah, my dad comes out with some crazy skills sometimes. Once, the power went out and Dad left the room. I thought he was getting a flashlight, but he came back with jumper cables, an old car battery and a ball of wire. I don’t know how, but he turned them into light.”
Noah chuckled. He probably would have gone with a simple flashlight, but her dad’s method sounded impressive.
The lock turned with a soft click, and he stood and opened the door. “Done.”
Addie’s eyes were wide. “Wow. I’ve completely lost faith in door locks.”
“Don’t worry, this is a specialized skill your average house thief probably doesn’t have. Although, I always recommend a house alarm.”
“You sound like my father.” She glanced at her car in the drive, then back to him. “Let me repay you with food.”
“Food?”
“I have enough Chinese to feed a family of five. Maybe more.”
Dinner with Addie. Alone. At night. That didn’t sound safe, in more ways than one. “Addie—”
“And before you say no because of anything that occurred between us”—the muscles in his shoulders twitched—“we decided to forget about that. Remember?”
He’d never agreed to forget about it, because that would be fucking impossible.
She lifted a shoulder. “And it’s just food.”
But it wasn’t…it was her. Her house. Her company. Her sweet scent that would surround him the entire meal.
“Sure.” The word slipped out and he had no fucking idea how.
Her eyes brightened. “Great. I’ll get it from the car.”
Ten minutes later, the takeout was spread over the coffee table, and she was right. It was a lot of food.
He shoved his hands into his pockets and glanced around her small living room.
It was a quarter of the size of his, but it felt cozy, and not just because of the size.
The throw over the couch, the copious number of cushions, the fluffy purple rug that should look out of place but didn’t… it was all Addie.
He cleared his throat as he turned back to the Chinese. “You ordered all this food for yourself?”
“Sure did. When people ask me what my hobby is, I tell them eating. They think I’m joking… I am not.”
His lips twitched. This woman was a walking contradiction.
Her hair was perfect, her nails always a different color, and she constantly wore heeled boots.
She looked high maintenance. But she wasn’t.
She was as down-to-earth as they came, and she made him laugh more than anyone else.
“That explains the chocolate you carry in your pocket.”
She paused, mid-scooping a huge spoon of fried rice onto her plate. “How do you know that?”
“I saw you pull a peanut butter cup out of your pocket while you were waiting for your drink outside the food van today.”
Anyone else might look embarrassed. Addie laughed. “I like food, but chocolate is king of the foods. And a day without chocolate is a day wasted.”
Once Addie’s plate was full, he filled his own. “Anything you don’t like?”
“Pineapple on pizza. Yuck. I hate it so much that even the smell of hot pineapple makes me gag.”
He leaned back with his plate. “You’re not a pineapple-on-pizza kind of girl?”
“It doesn’t belong there.”
“A lot of people would disagree with you.”
“A lot of people are wrong.” She aimed a suspicious frown his way. “Do you like pineapple on your pizza?”
“I don’t feel safe answering that question.”
“Oh my God, you’re one of them?”
“Them?”
“Pineapple-on-pizza-loving crazy people.”
“Now I’m definitely not answering.”
She almost looked angry as she shoved a forkful of Kung Pao chicken into her mouth.
“How are you finding it here?” he asked, a change in conversation topic feeling safest.
“I miss my parents, but it’s good for me to have a little separation from them. My mom’s my best friend, and I rely on my dad far too much.”
“That’s what parents are for.”
She chuckled. “Yeah. And they’re the best. They actually adopted me after they couldn’t have biological kids, and they’ve always treated me like they’re the luckiest two people to be chosen as my parents. I love them to pieces.” She looked back at him. “What about you? Close with your mom and dad?”
“They died in a car accident when I was twenty-two.”
Addie’s fork clattered to her bowl, and she pressed a hand to her chest. “Oh, Noah, I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks. It was a really hard time. I was in the military and couldn’t get as much leave as I wanted. My sisters were a mess, and they struggled in different ways. Indie cried a lot. And Bonnie just left.”
“Left where?”
“She went to San Francisco. She cut contact with everyone. I’ve only just reconnected with her.”
Addie’s eyes softened. “That would have been really hard to lose her and your parents.”
“It was. Indie found it hardest. I have hope that Bonnie will come home when she’s ready.”
Addie nodded, but there was a tinge of sadness in her eyes.
For the next hour, they chatted and ate.
They talked about anything and everything.
Big stuff. Small stuff. Addie showed him the chipped sloth mug that she, for some reason, used over all her non-chipped mugs.
He asked when her chocolate addiction had begun, which was so long ago she couldn’t remember.
Addie was easy to talk to. So easy, he almost forgot that she was thirteen years younger than he was and that he was her boss.
Hell, he didn’t even think about what he’d done to her a few weeks ago, or the demons that lived inside him.
And that was the biggest reason he liked her company—when he was with Addie, all he could think about was her.
How good it felt to be in her presence. And the peace that came with it.
“So,” she said, leaning forward once they were both finished. “I have ice cream in my freezer.” He could have laughed. Or maybe he did, because she frowned. “What?”
“We just ate an entire family-size portion of Chinese food.”
“That went into my savory stomach. My dessert stomach is still empty and ready for food.”
Jesus, she said it with so much authority he almost believed dual stomachs were a thing. “How about I clean up while you eat what I presume is chocolate ice cream.”
She shook her head. “No. That’s not fair on you.”
“Of course it is. You fed me, I clean up. It’s how I was raised.”
“Noah—”
“I’m starting now.” He lifted plates and took them to the kitchen.
Addie sighed as she headed toward the freezer and pulled out a tub of Huckleberry Chocolate Swirl ice cream.
He’d nailed it.
She perched on the edge of the counter and dug a spoon in. He was about to glance away when her gaze went to the window, a flicker of fear crossing her face.
He followed her look, but nothing was there. Nothing that he could see, anyway.
“When I got here, you thought you saw someone,” he said slowly, turning back to the dishes. “Do you know who it might have been?”
“No.”
The answer came quickly. Too quickly?
“Has something like that happened before? Or has anything happened to make you scared?”
There was a pause, and even though he was rinsing the plates, he could almost hear her thinking.
When the silence stretched, he turned back to look at her. “Addie?”
“Okay. I’ve had this feeling like someone’s been…watching me.”
The fuck?
She shook her head. “But I haven’t actually seen anyone.”
“But you’ve felt them?”
“I’m just freaking myself out because I’ve never lived away from home before.”
“Addie—”
“I shouldn’t have said anything. Don’t worry about me.”
He did worry about her. Even though he’d barely known her for a couple of months, there was this strange need for her to be safe.
“What about you?” she asked quietly, concern in her eyes. “How are you doing with everything?”
The muscles in his forearms tensed. He didn’t want to talk about him or the demons that plagued him. The ones she’d gotten a small glimpse of the day he’d thrown her to the floor beneath him.
Did she want the truth? That he couldn’t close his eyes without returning to the day from hell? That he barely slept? That since the incident in the office, he walked around in fear that he’d have another flashback and do it again to someone else?
He cleared his throat. “I’m fine.” Two words strung together to make a lie.
He went to step around her to put some of the Chinese into the fridge, but she grabbed his arm and tugged him close, the ice cream forgotten on the counter beside her. “Hey. You don’t have to do that.”
“Do what?”
“Pretend to be okay. I know we haven’t known each other for long, but you can talk to me. Or if you want to talk to a professional, my dad has an amazing therapist who specializes in veterans suffering from PTSD.”
Her words wove inside him. She wanted to help. But he’d done therapy. He’d had to after that last mission. It hadn’t helped. Not at all. What it had done was get him a one-way ticket home. “You don’t need to worry about me either, Addie.”
“I know. But I do anyway.” Her thumb brushed over his arm, making his skin fucking tingle.
His gaze shifted between her eyes. They were the deepest blue he’d ever seen, like the ocean when the water was really deep.
“Can I tell you something?” she whispered, her warm breath brushing his face.
He wanted to say no, because he was sure that anything she said would just drag him deeper into whatever the hell this was between them. “Sure.”
“A part of me knows there are all these reasons we shouldn’t kiss…but I can’t seem to bring myself to care about a single one of them.”
His pulse thudded low in his throat. Not panicked. Just loud. “But we should care…shouldn’t we?”
Was he asking or telling? He had no idea. But right now, he couldn’t seem to give a single fuck about any of the reasons he shouldn’t feel this woman’s lips against his. Why he shouldn’t tug her to the edge of the counter and let her thighs wrap around his waist.
Maybe that’s why he inched closer. Why he didn’t care that her hands eased up his chest, then his shoulders, then his neck.
Step away, Noah. Get the hell out of this house.
But he didn’t listen to the voice of reason in his head. He was too focused on the warmth of Addie’s touch. The way her soft palms made the roughness of his skin feel smooth.
“This is a bad idea,” he whispered, his head lowering to hover over her mouth.
“The worst.”
Then that space between them disappeared, and he was kissing her. He wasn’t sure who made the final move. He didn’t care.
He grazed his lips across hers, his grip tightening on her hips.
Her lips were just as soft as the rest of her. And Jesus Christ, they felt good against him. The kind of soft that made blood rush loudly between his ears and his cock turn to stone.
He pulled her hips to the edge of the counter, and at her gasp, he slipped his tongue past her lips. She tasted sweet like chocolate, and her tongue was cold from the ice cream. It was exactly how he’d expected Addie to taste—and he wanted more.
She moaned as she ran her tongue against his, her fingers now in his hair, grasping at the strands, her hips moving, grinding against his cock.
Every part of him reacted to her. Every part of him needed to be closer. To touch her. Make her need him like he needed her.
He slipped his hands beneath the material of her shirt and touched her soft, warm skin. Immediately, she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer to her core.
It sent him fucking wild.
When they finally came up for air, they both heaved, like the simple act of getting oxygen into their lungs was too much.
She touched her forehead to his. “Still think it was a bad idea?”
Honestly, he had no idea what to think. Nothing about that kiss had felt wrong or the least bit like a mistake. “I don’t know.”
One side of her mouth lifted. “Want to know what I think?”
“I’m not sure.”
“I think that was the best decision I’ve made in a long time.”