Chapter 16
Something brushed across Addie’s cheek, tugging her out of sleep. She didn’t want to wake up though. Her dream had included Noah and chocolate and a lazy day on the couch.
Another stroke of her cheek. A finger maybe? She squeezed her eyelids tight before slowly opening them to see a wide chest and broad shoulders. Clothed broad shoulders. Noah was fully dressed and perched on the edge of the bed, while she was completely naked beneath the sheets.
A slow smile curved her lips as she rolled to her side, making sure to keep the sheet above her chest. “Hey. Where are you going?”
“I have a therapy session.”
She frowned. “That’s at nine.”
Amusement twinkled in his eyes. “It’s eight thirty.”
What? She’d slept in until eight thirty? Crap. “I promise I will be ready to start my workday at nine on the dot.” Maybe nine thirty.
One side of his mouth lifted. “You start whenever you’re ready.”
That was a good perk of dating the boss. “How did you sleep?”
“Good, actually.” He frowned. “It’s strange. It’s only when I sleep with you that I actually sleep.”
She reached out and braided her fingers through his. “That’s good.”
“I don’t understand how that works.”
“Maybe you feel safe with me.” She wanted him to feel safe with her. As safe with her as she felt with him.
“You’re right, I do.” A slow heat gathered in his eyes. “Are you going to be okay here by yourself?”
“Without you here to distract me, I might actually be able to get some work done.” Yeah, freaking right. She’d come to the realization that productivity and working from home did not come hand in hand for her. At least not while so much else was going on.
“You think I’m a distraction?” he asked, far too innocently.
She could have laughed. “Yesterday, I was fixing a broken link on the website when you picked me up, carried me to the bedroom, and threw me onto the bed.”
“I didn’t hear any complaining.”
“Well, of course not. You took off your shirt. Have you seen you without a shirt?”
His smile widened, and he lowered his head and kissed her, his lips lingering before he finally lifted again. “I’ll lock up after myself. Keep the house locked and alarmed.”
“Damn, there goes my idea of having an open-house rager.”
He shook his head. “What am I going to do with you?”
“I can think of a few things.”
He laughed, and the second he stepped out of the room, she missed him. It was instant and it made the room too quiet.
Gah, she was becoming far too obsessed with the man. She pulled the pillow over her face.
What she needed was a shower. A long, hot shower.
After a full thirty minutes in the shower, she dressed in black leggings, an oversized sweater, and wooly socks before popping two pieces of bread into the toaster.
She’d just lowered to the couch with her toast and laptop when her phone rang, Jules’s name on the screen.
“Hi, Jules.”
“Addie, honey, I’m just checking in to see how you’re doing.”
A small smile touched her lips. Jules had been checking in regularly, and Addie was so grateful for that. “I’m okay. I’d be better if they arrested the person who tampered with the ropes, but I keep reminding myself that it will take time.”
“I know you haven’t said it, but you think it’s Rhett, right? After he grabbed you the way he did in that parking lot?”
She squirmed uncomfortably on the couch. She’d intentionally not said his name to anyone because they had no proof of it being him. “I’m not sure.”
“Well, I’m glad those boys fired him anyway after the way he treated you.”
“Me too. Have you heard from Buck?”
“I’m taking him a big container of pasta this afternoon.”
Of course she was. “He’ll love that.”
“I’m bringing you one too.”
“Oh, you don’t need—”
“Of course I do. Feeding people is my love language. And what about a slab of chocolate brownies? The recipe I make is divine. My secret ingredient is walnuts.”
“Walnuts?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll drop both off this afternoon.”
“Jules, you really don’t have to do that. I’m okay.”
“And you’ll be even better with my chocolate brownie. Text me your address. I’ll see you later, honey.”
Jules hung up before Addie could protest a third time, but honestly, would a third protest do anything? Doubtful.
Addie had just set her cell on the coffee table when the doorbell rang.
Good God, the universe really didn’t want her to start work today.
Slowly, she crossed to the front door and looked through the peephole to see Indie, Noah’s sister, holding a tray. Had Noah known she was coming?
She opened the door. “Hi. I’m sorry, Noah isn’t here.”
“That’s okay. I can drop this casserole off to you.”
“A casserole?” Was feeding her an Amber Ridge thing?
“Noah told me about your scare on the rock-climbing wall. I just wanted to help in some way.”
It was official, she was never moving back to Bozeman, because people here were too nice. What would have happened if she’d actually been hurt? Food for a week? A month?
Addie stepped back. “Come in.”
“Thanks.” Indie crossed over to the kitchen, where she set the casserole down. “Man, I love Noah’s house. Isn’t this butcher-block countertop just amazing?”
After locking and alarming the door, she joined Indie in the kitchen. “The house is really beautiful. He mentioned he did some of the work himself.”
His sister chuckled. “Yeah, because completely tearing the old park apart and putting it back together wasn’t enough for him. That man doesn’t know how to stay still.”
“I think staying busy helps with everything.”
Indie frowned. “Everything?”
Shit. She’d just assumed Indie knew. They were siblings. And they were close. Indie visited the park all the time, plus she was married to Colt.
“Um…” Shit. Say something, Addie. “I’m just referring to transitioning back into civilian life after being in the Marines for so long.”
Indie’s frown deepened before she stepped closer. “Addie, did something happen to Noah?”
Oh, gosh, she’d really put her foot into it. “You should really talk to him about it.”
Indie seemed to consider her words for a moment before nodding. “I’ve kind of had a feeling something was going on with him, and I kept waiting for him to open up to me. But so far, he hasn’t.”
“Sometimes it’s hardest to share things with those we’re closest to.”
“Maybe. Or maybe he thinks he’s protecting me after what I’ve been through.” She shook her head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be dropping this on you.”
“It’s absolutely fine. It’s nice to have someone to talk to. And it’s good to have a distraction from work, which I’ve discovered I am not good at doing from home. Why don’t you stay for a coffee?”
“I thought you didn’t drink coffee?”
“I don’t. But you do. Plus, I don’t have a lot of work to do while the park’s closed anyway.
You’ll be doing me a favor.” She moved to the coffeemaker, and over the next hour, she sat and talked and laughed with Noah’s sister.
She hadn’t spent a lot of time with Indie, but the other woman was easy to talk to.
When it was finally time for Indie to go, Addie stepped outside with her and waved goodbye. She was about to close the door when a sound came from the side of the house. Almost like a foot against ground. It could be an animal.
It could also not.
Quickly, she closed the door and flicked the lock.
Then she got angry. Angry that she was living in fear. Angry that something as small as a quiet sound beside the house could make her heart rate shoot up.
This person needed to be found, and they needed to be arrested now.
“How did you feel when you saw the rope almost snap?”
Noah’s hands balled into fists at Toby’s question. “Scared. Really fucking scared. Then I was relieved after I helped her down. Then angry again that it happened.” Hell, angry barely touched the surface of what he’d felt.
“Angry at who?”
“The person who did it.”
“But you don’t know who that was?”
“I have a pretty good idea. But the asshole not being behind bars doesn’t help the anger.”
Toby nodded, his face neutral like always. “Is this person the only one you’re angry at?”
Did Toby see it that easily? “I’m angry at myself too.”
“Why? You didn’t hurt her.”
“It happened on my watch. I should have checked all the equipment myself.” It was his damn park. And he was her boss. He was the reason she was up there.
“That sounds like guilt.”
“Yeah, maybe it is.”
Toby’s brows flickered. “Are you two dating?”
“Yes.” They hadn’t given what they were doing a label, but hell, there was no other word for it.
“Did seeing someone you care about almost get hurt bring back what happened on your last mission?”
The muscles in his forearms twitched. “It was different. She’s different.”
“I know that.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, maybe it did bring stuff back up. But the second I held her last night, that stuff quieted like it always does.”
Another nod from Toby, like he was considering everything Noah said. Then he leaned forward. “There’s something else going through your mind though, isn’t there?”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “The more I care about her, the more I wonder if I’m being…”
“What, Noah?”
“Selfish. She’s good for me, but I’m not sure if I’m good for her. Not yet anyway. I’m getting better, but I’m not completely there yet. And even though I haven’t hurt her, it’s not an impossibility.”
“Are you saying you want to break things off with her?”
Fuck, even thinking about that hurt. “I’m saying there’s this voice in my head that keeps repeating to me that the only way I can truly keep her safe is by putting some distance between us.”
There was a heavy pause. “It might not be a bad idea…for now. At least until you’ve put the work in to make yourself better.”
Frustration twisted in his gut. At the idea of being separated from her. Of her not being his. “But I also can’t leave her unprotected.”
“What if she wasn’t in danger? Would you still be dating her? Or would you give yourself more time to heal first?”
How the fuck would he know? “I don’t know. But I do know that I care about her.”
“Okay. But I want you to really ask yourself if it’s fair to her or you for you to start a relationship with someone just because she’s in danger. And what if next time, something worse happens to her? Will it set you back? And will that in turn hurt her?”
“You think I should break things off with her.”
“I think you’re still struggling with your past. That could put both of you at risk in different ways. And she deserves the best version of you. Sometimes, healing is about doing the hard work when the comfort isn’t there.”
A band wrapped around Noah’s chest. Because nothing Toby said was anything he hadn’t already thought himself.
“Let’s leave it there for today,” Toby said gently. “We’ve covered a lot and there’s a lot for you to think about.”
“A lot” being Addie. He was supposed to think about leaving her.
He drove straight home after the appointment.
He still needed to go to the park today and do a couple of things, but he wanted Addie with him for that.
Yes, she was in his locked and alarmed house right now, but with him, she was always safer.
Exactly why the thought of breaking up with her felt fucking crazy.
Yet at the same time, she did deserve the best version of him.
He’d just pulled into his drive when his cell rang, Bonnie’s name on the screen. A smile tugged at his lips as he answered the call. “Bonnie. I was starting to think you’d forgotten about me.”
A soft chuckle sounded over the line. “Forget about my older brother, who used to grab me in a headlock and mess up my hair? Impossible. How are you?”
He glanced out the window, a lie on the tip of his tongue. But the lie didn’t fall. “Not great.”
“How come?”
“I’ve got some shit I’m working through from the military. And I’ve also just started dating someone. Everything feels…complicated.” An understatement.
“And you’re not sure if the timing is right.”
“Yeah.”
“Is she pretty?”
Noah chuckled because of course Bonnie asked that. “She’s beautiful.”
“What do you like about her?”
“She makes me laugh. I feel like I can’t breathe around her, but in a good way. Her chocolate addiction is kind of cute. And when I’m with her, I just feel this peace that I don’t get anywhere else.”
“It sounds like she’s helping you.”
His fingers tightened around the cell. “Yeah, but maybe I’m not helping her.”
“Noah…you’re the best guy I know. Even a slightly injured version of you is in the top one percent of guys.”
“You have to say that. You’re my sister.”
“Not true. Most would say the opposite.”
He laughed. “Thanks, Bon.” He spent another few minutes talking to her before finally hanging up and heading inside.
And the second he saw Addie, his heart did that thing where it squeezed and ached. Ached to touch her. Hold her. Breathe in her sweet scent.
She turned and looked at him, and her mouth stretched into the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen before she crossed the space between them and stepped into his arms. And it was only while he was holding her that those words whispered back to him.
Maybe he was being selfish. But was he even capable of giving her up?