Chapter 10
Chapter 10
Lance had a very restless night. The stress of the day threw his sleep pattern way out of whack. He was too hot, then too cold. The mattress was too soft. If he was at home, he’d go for a run to wear his ass out to the point of exhaustion. But he wasn’t at home, didn’t know the area, and he didn’t want to wake Tanner. The pilot had passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow—like a toddler in the aftermath of a sugar rush—and Lance refused to disturb him.
He was about to give up on trying to sleep and get up anyway just as Tanner said something. At first, it was just some muttered words in a foreign language. Then, suddenly, he began shouting and thrashing around. When he sat up and banged the back of his head against the headboard, Lance had to intervene.
“No! No! Ahmed! Ahmed!” Tanner screamed, as Lance reached for him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
Tanner’s eyes flew open, and he clasped Lance’s forearm, trying to push him away. There were no signs of recognition. Tanner was miles away, completely lost to time and space, staring at Lance like he’d never seen him before.
“Tanner. It’s me. Lance. Hey, you with me, buddy?” he asked, keeping a gentle touch on Tanner’s shoulder.
“Lance,” Tanner finally responded, sighing heavily as his hands went from trying to push him away, to clinging to him instead.
“You were dreaming and got kinda loud,” Lance said.
Tanner released his hold and sat up, running a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I told you I had nightmares. I should probably go sleep in the damned truck.” He scooted over to the other side of the bed. He looked so small. So fucking small in this huge bed, and for some reason, Lance couldn’t bear even this much distance between them.
“Hey, no, come here,” Lance protested, his tone low and soothing.
He hadn’t intended to do a full body hug, but it felt easy—so amazingly— right . Tanner fit in his arms like he belonged there.
“You alright?” he asked, his lips brushing Tanner’s ear.
Tanner took a shaky breath and gave a small nod. With a sigh, he gradually relaxed against Lance’s chest.
“You’d think I’d be used to them by now,” he chuckled with forced humor.
Lance felt an immediate pang of sympathy and silently hugged him closer.
After another minute or two of holding him, Lance figured he’d better ease up on the hugging before it got awkward. He might be enjoying it, but it was definitely more hands-on than most hetero bros would be okay with. With a sigh, he eased back and pulled the covers over them.
“Told you I should have slept in the truck.”
“Stop that,” Lance ordered with a shake of his head. “I’m just sorry you can’t be rid of them.”
It was dark in the room. They’d pulled the blinds closed so the morning sun wouldn’t wake them. The only sources of light were the old-fashioned alarm clock on the bedside table and the nightlight in the bathroom. It was barely enough to make out Tanner’s shape in the dark, but Lance smiled at him anyway. The darkness felt comfortable—creating a kind of safe zone.
“I don’t know what I would’ve done without you today,” he confessed quietly and sincerely.
“What are you talking about? All I did was play taxi driver and get you a pizza.”
“That’s not all you did for me. I was a fucking sobbing mess before you called. I don’t know that I would have—” he faltered and shook his head. It didn’t matter. The specifics didn’t matter. It wasn’t what he’d meant to say.
“I’m so fucking glad I met you,” Lance finally admitted, his voice breaking at the end. He knew that guys didn’t normally talk to each other like this. Not unless they were falling down drunk with no one else around. They certainly didn’t talk like this while sharing a bed in the middle of the night. He’d drive Tanner away with that kind of talk if he wasn’t careful, but the events of the day had rocked him to his core. They’d forced him to examine his own mortality in a way he never had before. His brother would be fine, he knew that, but what if he hadn’t been? What if all his brother had gotten was 17 fucking years? And then, what of himself? What if Lance died tomorrow, having accomplished nothing important in life? He didn’t have any close friends anymore, having lost touch with them years ago because of spending all his free time with his ex and working on the house. Of course, he had Tanner, now. But for how long? And could he really afford to go any longer without telling the people in his life what they meant to him?
The room was silent for the next few minutes. They were at a tipping point, and Lance didn’t know what Tanner would do—nor exactly what he wanted the man to do. Knowing Tanner as he did, Lance half expected him to make a joke before pulling away and finding an excuse to change the subject. Hell, maybe he’d say something about needing a shower just so he could get some emotional and physical distance.
Lance prayed hard that Tanner wouldn’t take the easy way out.
A moment later, Tanner released an unsteady breath and, rather than pull away, leaned forward to place a hand on Lance’s forearm before speaking.
“I don’t remember the last time I felt this way about anyone.”
Lance laughed, surprised and elated by this heartwarming admission.
“I know exactly what you mean,” Lance replied in a hushed voice.
Trembling with nerves and excitement, Tanner moved his hand from Lance’s arm to cup his jaw, gently running his thumb across Lance’s cheek.
“Tell me this is all in my head,” Tanner whispered, leaving Lance breathless and hopeful at the same time. Lance didn’t speak for fear it would ruin this fragile, tender moment. “Tell me no,” Tanner practically begged him as he leaned closer.
“If it’s all in your head, then we’re both done for,” Lance finally said, as a powerful yearning for more of Tanner’s touch washed over him.
A second later, Tanner’s lips were brushing his, and Lance’s mind went blank.
Lance had never been the king of celibacy. As a quarterback and member of a popular fraternity, he’d had zero problems scoring a date whenever he wanted one. His good looks were just icing on the cake. But never, at any point, had he kissed another man before. He hadn’t been all that interested in kissing anyway, since he just wanted to get to the main event. But kissing Tanner was nothing like those perfunctory, just-get-it-over-with experiences. This was electrifying and hot—damned hot! So much so, that his heart was trying to pound itself right out of his chest.
Their kiss began as a gentle exploration, gradually learning the taste of one another. It was tentative. Neither one claimed dominance nor attempted to push too hard for more, yet there was no denying the growing heat between them. Every shift of their lips, every graze of Tanner’s fingers against his jaw, every hum of pleasure, sent chills of excitement down Lance’s spine. He was swimming in ecstasy, having trouble recalling where and who he was. Even more surprising, Lance felt himself hardening and grinding against Tanner. Holy hell! His body was responding far quicker than his mind could keep up with, and before he could lose himself completely, he broke the kiss to catch his breath. He looked at Tanner feeling stunned, thoughts swirling. But one thought emerged with startling clarity—the certainty that he wanted so much more.
“Please don’t go,” Tanner implored, his voice quivering. “You can hate me, or fucking punch me tomorrow, but—please—stay here tonight.”
It was as if Tanner had read his mind. He couldn’t help chuckling ruefully. Despite the dim lighting in the room, it was impossible to miss the intensity of Tanner’s gaze. Tanner. This was Tanner, Lance reminded himself. Despite Lance’s confusion about his newfound interest in kissing—or anything else for that matter—he couldn’t help but respond to Tanner’s pleas. Lance tightened his hold, amazed once more by how well Tanner fit against him. The pilot was still too thin, but the shape of him, the hard outline of his chest and square shoulders—felt right to Lance in a way that his exes never had. He closed his eyes and marveled at how emotionally and physically fulfilling it was to be with Tanner.
Lance began humming an old song that he liked, not even knowing the words. The melody was all he knew, so he just kept humming and began rubbing gentle circles across Tanner’s back.
“Is that an old Rolling Stones song?” Tanner asked with a chuckle.
“I’m not sure what song that is,” he admitted. “I just felt like humming.”
“Sounds like something my grandpa might say.”
“You often kiss your grandpa like that?”
Tanner looked away, uncertain as to what kind of response Lance was looking for. Lance regretted his attempt to tease Tanner that way, but at the same time, he felt it was necessary to step back and take a good look at what was happening between them. Jokes were the cornerstones of their relationship. Even in this instance, when their relationship had suddenly shifted into high gear and was heading in an entirely new direction. He placed two fingers beneath Tanner’s chin and lifted it slowly.
“And just so we’re clear, I don’t want to punch you,” Lance clarified, because Tanner’s earlier warning bothered him. “And I sure as hell do not hate you. Am I surprised? Abso-fucking-lutely. Shocked even, but—I’m not mad or anything remotely like that,” he assured the other man, blushing from head to toe as his aching cock reminded him of just how much he wanted Tanner. Fuck, hating Tanner was the furthest thing from his mind as he forced himself to rein in his lust.
“Yeah, well get in line. I got on the surprised train first,” Tanner replied with a snort.
“Wait—hold up. You mean—you’ve never—with a guy?”
“Hell no!” His answer was coupled with a chuckle of disbelief. “You?”
Lance shook his head without hesitation. “Never even thought about it—before you.”
“That’s a little fucked, isn’t it?” Tanner asked, blowing out a breath and frowning like he was attempting to solve the riddle of the meaning of the universe. Lance shrugged and sighed.
“No,” Lance refuted with absolute confidence. Like he’d already fully processed it even though kissing Tanner hadn’t occurred to him until just a few minutes ago. Where was this sense of calm coming from?
Without any mental rehearsal, Lance spoke from the heart.
“You said it yourself. I haven’t felt like this about anyone in a long time. I’ve spent the past two weeks coming up with every possible excuse to be around you. It really—I really shouldn’t be as shocked as I am that I’m—you know—” he shrugged. “Into you,” he concluded, blushing furiously, but thankfully it was too dark to be seen.
Lance waited patiently for a response, staying silent while Tanner thought this over.
“That—was very 13-year-old of us. When did we start sounding like crushing teenagers?” he asked, shuddering in disgust at the mushiness of their conversation.
Lance laughed exuberantly. He saw Tanner’s smile stretch across his face like that of a lazy cat in the sun. The little bastard was clearly proud of himself for coming up with that little quip, so he leaned over and pressed a firm kiss to that smart mouth to shut him up.
“I hope I kiss better than a teenage girl,” he whispered against Tanner’s mouth.
Tanner was struck speechless for a moment but then quickly recovered.
“You sure as fuck do,” Tanner said with a sexy growl before diving back in to explore Lance’s mouth and prove that he was equally skilled at kissing. This one was neither chaste nor quick. By the time they separated, Lance was hard as a rock and fighting to get his breath back.
“Holy shit,” Lance whispered against Tanner’s lips.
“Fuck. Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s pitching a tent.” Tanner pleaded breathlessly.
Feeling brave and curious in equal measure, Lance reached for Tanner’s hand to place it on his erection, groaning at how good Tanner’s firm grip felt, even through his sleep pants. His hips lifted automatically, seeking more of Tanner’s touch.
“Oh, fuck—you feel—oh, fuck,” Tanner moaned as he hesitantly ran his hand up and down Lance’s shaft but then stilled. Lance gasped in protest, but Tanner suddenly thrusted his hand down the front of his sleep pants to grasp him, skin to skin. Lance cried out at the feel of Tanner’s cool, firm touch on his hot dick, as he began stroking him from the head to the base, and back up again, over and over.
“Fuck,” Lance whispered next to Tanner’s mouth. He was so lost to sensation that he began to press kisses along his jaw and then lowered his mouth to Tanner’s neck, sucking hard enough to leave a trail of hickeys all the way down to his shoulder.
Tanner’s confidence soared in his ability to pleasure Lance. He tightened his hold and ran his hand over the head, gathering pre-cum to smear down the length of him, repeating the motion every few strokes.
“I’m getting close!” Lance found Tanner’s mouth and kissed him feverishly. As he got closer to the edge, Lance ached to feel Tanner as well. He clamped down on Tanner’s hand to stave off his climax.
“Can I touch you?” he asked between moans, and Tanner simply growled his approval, as Lance bit down on the skin of his neck and then licked away the sting.
Lance eased his hand past the waistband of Tanner’s boxer briefs to find his dick was equally hard and leaking copiously. Lance wrapped his hand around him, gave him a few firm strokes, and spread the pre-cum up and down his shaft.
“Oh, my fucking God,” Tanner cried, as Lance duplicated Tanner’s movements.
Then it was only them. Just them, panting against each other, foreheads pressed together, lost in the feel of firm strokes on velvety skin. Tanner whined briefly in protest as Lance paused his strokes so he could stretch out on top of Tanner. As Lance’s weight settled on him, Tanner groaned, enjoying the increased pressure on his dick. Lance groaned as well, as this new position heightened the sensations of everything. Tanner cursed as their balls made contact. With a quick, shouted warning, he exploded, throwing back his head and moaning in ecstasy.
At that moment, Tanner’s grip tightened almost painfully on Lance’s dick, triggering Lance’s own powerful release as he shot so hard cum hit Tanner’s chin. When the spasms finally stopped, he collapsed and fell to Tanner’s side. Wrapping his arms around Tanner, he struggled to catch his breath, mind completely blown. He wasn’t sure what to think. Wasn’t sure how to make heads or tails of the man lying against him, or how to handle the rush of intense emotions he felt while gazing at Tanner. It was another big first and it had been one helluva ride.
He pulled his shirt off and wiped the cum off Tanner’s chest, before doing a quick wipe down of their cocks. As he swiped the tip of Tanner’s, it began to harden again, making him hiss at the overstimulation.
“Kick your pants off,” Lance suggested, knowing how uncomfortable they’d feel coated in dried cum.
Once they were naked and stretched out again under the covers, Lance pulled Tanner close, settling his head on his chest. Lance began to worry as Tanner had yet to say anything. He ran his fingers through Tanner’s hair in a soothing, repetitive way.
“Thank you,” Tanner said softly, just as Lance was about to drift off, thinking there would be no post-coital discussion tonight.
“What for?” Lance asked, feeling muddled as he fought off sleep.
“For staying.”
Lance kissed his hair, hugged him closer, and they both fell fast asleep.
*****
Come morning, Tanner was awakened by the gentle tapping of laptop keys. He opened his eyes and memories of the past evening’s events came rushing back. He’d known the sense of peace he’d felt as he’d drifted off to sleep would fade come morning, and now he wasn’t exactly sure what his next move should be. Sitting up and looking across the room to the small table in front of the window, he expected Lance to pretend either nothing had happened or to be ashamed. But this was Lance. Golden boy, strait-laced, loveable and genuine Lance. Tanner really should have known better. Lance smiled when he noticed Tanner was awake.
“Morning, sunshine!” he said, his gaze firmly locked on Tanner’s as if to say, “ I will not hide from this. ” The humorous tone did not go unnoticed even as Tanner blushed at the words. Tanner wasn’t sure where Lance found the courage to be so obnoxiously cheerful and confident, but he wasn’t nearly as brave. Rubbing sleep from his eyes, he took a good look at his bed partner. Lance had his laptop open next to a tray of pastries and two large takeout cups of coffee.
“You went out to get us breakfast?”
“No, I just ordered stuff for us through DoorDash,” he explained. “Since I woke up at 5:00 and couldn’t go back to sleep, I thought I’d do some work and order breakfast. We have no milk, so I got you a latte with an extra shot of espresso,” Lance offered, nodding towards the cup.
“Latte?” He repeated, wrinkling his nose as if the drink was offensive.
“What? Too gay?” Lance asked with a deadpan expression.
Then, “Too soon?” he added, when Tanner paused a moment too long before responding.
“Too soon,” Tanner agreed with a slight smile.
“If you get dressed, I’ll even let you have one of my croissants,” Lance said, nodding to a pile of clean clothes on the chair on the opposite side of the table. There was no way to get to the clothes without crossing the room in his birthday suit.
“You’re baiting me? That desperate to check out the goods?” Tanner snorted in amused disbelief.
“Well, it was at the top of my list of things to do today . . .” he admitted with a shrug and smirk. “Besides, I was kind of afraid you’d decided never to leave the bed again.”
Tanner laughed, slowly rolled out of bed and stretched from side to side. Lance ogled him and wolf whistled.
“You get one hand job and now you expect me to put on a show?”
“Honestly? I was mostly curious about whether I’d get a hard on from seeing you walk around naked.”
“And?”
“Rock. Hard.” Lance relaxed back in the chair, took a swig of coffee, and waggled his eyebrows.
Tanner was surprised to find his own erection stirring, not because he wasn’t sure he was attracted to Lance, but because ever since his time in—well— away , his erections had been non-existent. In fact, until he’d met Lance, he hadn’t had an orgasm in over three years. He knew just how abnormal that was for a guy in his 20s.
He dressed quickly, pulling underwear and pants on first, moving his left leg carefully to avoid falling on his ass. After he put on his shirt, he turned to find Lance looking at him with an unreadable expression. Taking a deep breath, Tanner walked over and smiled as he placed a hand on his shoulder. He ran a finger over a faint love bite on his neck and chuckled.
“Morning, sunshine,” he said, as obnoxious as possible while echoing Lance’s earlier statement in his best sultry tone. Then he leaned down to deliver a tender kiss.
This was it , he thought. In the light of day, there was a fair chance that Lance would pull away in disgust and that would be the end of that. But Tanner should have known Lance wouldn’t be like that. Lance did the opposite. He thrust his fingers into Tanner’s hair and tilted his head slightly for a more thorough kiss, humming happily. When they parted, both were flushed and breathing hard.
“You promised coffee,” Tanner said playfully as he stepped back. With a chuckle, Lance picked up Tanner’s cup and held it out to him. Tanner plopped down in the other chair and snatched up the coffee with one hand and a croissant with the other.
“What’s the plan for today?” Tanner asked, looking around the room for his phone. He didn’t know what time it was but figured it was probably around 7:00 a.m., his usual wake-up time even when he didn’t set his alarm.
“I called the hospital around 8:00, and the nurse confirmed that Parker’s discharge should be done by 11:00. So, we have about 45 minutes to eat breakfast before heading out to pick him up. After that, we can take him to his dorm and pack up for him. What do you think?”
“Hold up!” Tanner jolted upright, nearly spilling his coffee before he’d even taken a sip. “What time is it?”
“Eh—” Lance looked down at his phone. “10:12.”
“That’s impossible! I never sleep this late!” he declared, to which Lance only shrugged.
“Guess I tired you out,” he said with a cocky grin.
Tanner kicked him under the table just as he started to take a sip of coffee, almost causing it to spill onto the laptop.
“Quit yer bitchin’ and eat your breakfast,” Lance ordered while checking his laptop for possible coffee damage. Tanner grabbed another pastry and then he took a sip of his coffee. He normally liked it with just a splash of milk, but the added espresso gave it a pleasant depth that made the latte just right. He hummed in appreciation.
Guess liking dick wasn’t the only gay thing about him anymore. Apparently, he’d also acquired a taste for lattes. Who knew?
“We’re driving Parker to your parents’ house after getting his stuff out of the dorm, right?” Tanner asked, between bites of croissant.
“Yeah. I talked to my mother this morning. It was already planned for him to spend the summer there with my younger brother. He’ll just be a few days early.”
“She didn’t drive up to see him yesterday?”
Lance shook his head and frowned. Tanner raised an eyebrow in inquiry, wondering what was up with her.
“My mother doesn’t do well in stressful situations. I didn’t want to tell her anything until I knew for sure how he was doing. And since he’s perfectly fine, there was no need for her to drive down today.” His expression and tone were carefully neutral.
Tanner supposed it made sense. But his family didn’t quite work that way. It was increasingly obvious that they had experienced very different upbringings. Tanner’s mother had practically lived in his back pocket for most of his teen years, right up until the day he’d shipped out for basic training in the Army. From what Cameron had said recently, their mother had been so crushed by his presumed death in the sandbox that she’d moved out of state to get some time and space to grieve. After a few years absence, she’d moved back to help Cameron look after Clara and Lucy. His mother had always cared deeply for her children and grandchildren. When Tanner had been shot down in the stolen helo, his mother had been the first one on a plane to the German hospital he’d been transferred to. She’d stayed there for weeks as he’d drifted in and out of consciousness. Most of the time he was heavily sedated and didn’t even know she was there, still she’d waited by his bedside. When he’d finally returned to the US, he’d healed enough that she returned to her house, giving him some much-needed space. She still called or texted frequently, and he made it a point to visit her at least once a month. But he realized that he hadn’t been by to see her since the day he’d met Lance. He needed to fix that pronto, or she might show up at his door one of these days with a packed suitcase and move in. Regardless of anything else going on her life, his mother would never sit around waiting for a phone call. She’d have dropped everything, rushed straight to the hospital, and stayed parked at his bedside until he was discharged. Apparently, Lance’s family operated under vastly different rules.
“I’ll grab a shower, so we can go,” Tanner said, and finished his coffee. Lance placed a hand on Tanner’s and smiled into his eyes.
“Mind if I join you?”
Tanner swallowed convulsively as a surge of arousal hit so hard it took his breath away. He nodded quickly, pulled Lance up from his chair, and led him to the bathroom.
It should have been awkward. After all, he’d have sworn he was straight until just a few days ago. Sharing a tiny shower, completely naked with all of his scars on display next to the god-among-men Lance Kinsley should have been beyond awkward. Yet, as Lance proceeded to kiss him all over, Tanner’s dick grew harder by the second and he wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable. In fact, he was so goddamned relaxed that it was all he could do to remain standing as Lance’s hands explored his body, and his own hand traced Lance’s hard planes and curves.
Jesus fuck! When did happy trails and well-developed biceps start doing it for him? He’d only just begun to contemplate the finer points of that when Lance’s hand finally closed around his cock and took him to paradise, making Tanner’s thoughts fade like mist in the sunlight.