Chapter 13
Chapter 13
It occurred to Lance that transitioning from friends to lovers was a whole lot easier than what he thought it would be. Not much had changed between him and Tanner, except for the discovery that sex between them was incredible. Worlds away from anything Lance had ever experienced before. Other than that, everything else remained the same. Every day they got together, smiling like absolute morons before reaching for each other and indulging in total body hugs that would make Lance’s college bros cringe. Tanner liked to do this thing where he seemed to inhale Lance. As if grounding himself in Lance’s presence, which Lance loved only slightly less than the amazing kisses they shared afterwards. They’d cook, or watch TV, or work on home repair projects, all while talking and touching like horny teenagers. They discovered each other’s sensitive spots. Lance loved the sounds Tanner would make when he kissed the back of his neck or traced his healed scars with the tips of his fingers. Tanner mastered the art of making Lance blush every time he whispered sweet nothings in his ear. Their relationship revolved around companionship and good humour, making it incredibly deeper and more fulfilling than they could have ever hoped for. Good God, there were orgasms on top of more orgasms. More than Lance had had in the past ten years combined. It was a goddamned miracle that he could even stand up or walk straight.
While driving home from the office, Lance’s phone rang, Tanner’s name popping up on the dash display.
“You’ve reached the Department of Unanswered Questions. What’s puzzling you today?” Lance said after pressing accept. Tanner always had funny greetings at the ready whenever Lance called, and it had become a contest to see who could outdo whom. If Lance was honest—he’d done a Google search and saved a bunch to use whenever Tanner called him.
“Good one!” Tanner responded with a laugh. “How’s my favourite accountant doing? Fingers falling off from punching keys on your calculator all day?”
“I was actually attending meetings with clients today, so my fingers were spared from hard labor.”
“Oh—are you heading home anytime soon?” Tanner asked somewhat hesitantly.
“As we speak. I’m like two minutes out. Everything okay?” he asked, concerned about Tanner’s change in tone.
“Everything’s great, I just—well, I was wondering—do you think you’d like to get a little dressed up and go on a date?” Tanner sounded pretty nervous. Lance smiled to himself, amused and charmed by Tanner’s invitation.
“Tanner Casey, are you asking me out?” Lance laughed.
“Stop making fun of me or I’m putting all of your designer shirts in the dryer on high heat for a whole hour! With a bright red sock!”
“Them be fightin’ words, son,” Lance drawled. “What time should I be ready? And where are we going?”
“I’ll pick you up at 6:00, and don’t worry about where we’re going. Just—wear something nice but comfortable and slightly stretchy,” Tanner advised. His wardrobe advice made zero sense. Lance disguised his laugh with a cough.
“Right—stretchy,” he repeated, fighting to keep his voice steady. “I’m sure my superhero costume from the third grade still fits. That’s stretchy—it would work, right?” he asked in mock seriousness.
“It all depends. What superhero are we talking about? I’m not dating Superman, he’s too much of a bitch. Spiderman is also out of the question—and, no, I won’t be taking questions at this time—” Tanner replied, always quick with the comebacks.
“Alright. Noted. I’ll see you in a bit,” Lance agreed with a quick laugh.
“Awesome,” Tanner replied with a smile in his voice. “See you soon!”
Lance wasn’t blushing nor was he smiling like a lovesick fool as he drove the rest of the way home. Not at all.
*****
For the life of him, Tanner couldn’t figure out exactly what had gotten into him. He’d been driving back to the office after his last meeting of the day, feeling young and—oddly content. It was spring—spring heading into summer—and every bone in Tanner’s body felt warmed by the clear blue skies and the fresh spring breeze. He wanted to be out and about for the first time in months. He felt human again and wasn’t that just goddamned amazing. Fully aware that life with Lance led him directly to this moment, he wanted to do something special with his man. He wanted to show Lance off. Wanted to fucking live for the first time since he’d returned to the US.
So, giving into some insane urge, he called to make a last-minute reservation at a place that he’d frequented before joining the military, and hoped Lance would enjoy going there, too. He’d felt like a high schooler asking Lance out. Nervous, fumbling, and stuttering—but, hopefully, by the end of the evening, it would be worth it.
When Tanner got to Lance’s house, he walked in the front door and called out, “Hi, honey, I’m home!”
Lance had shouted back from the second floor that he’d be right down. While he waited in the front hall, he looked in the mirror to check on his mostly-out-of-control hairstyle, since he’d driven over with his window down. His hair almost touched his shoulders, which would have made his Army Gunny furious. He’d never worn his hair this long before, and he’d tried to tame it with styling paste, but it didn’t work too well. Frankly, he just needed to get his ass to a decent salon. But hey, at least he’d found some nice clothes for his date. After telling Lance to get dressed up, he figured he should too. Wearing a pair of ridiculously expensive designer jeans that Cameron insisted he just had to have, he’d topped them with a burgundy Henley and slipped into his well-worn Doc Martens.
He was still fussing with his hair when he heard footsteps behind him. He spun around, forgetting anything he might have said as he stood there tongue-tied, just taking in the glorious sight of Lance Kingsley, dressed up for date night.
A forest green sweater that lovingly wrapped around his impressive biceps and mile-wide shoulders topped a pair of tan cargo pants that were just tight enough to advertise his assets in the front and back. His closely trimmed beard accentuated his Hollywood good looks and looked just rough enough to make Tanner crave feeling it all over his body.
“Fuck, you clean up well,” Tanner finally managed to say, awestruck by his exceptionally handsome date. He had a sudden urge to strip Lance right there on the stairs and drag him off to bed. Fuck the date. This man was his and no one else’s and, while he might want to show him off, he desperately needed to put his hands all over him right here, right now. No delays. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
“You’re looking pretty damned good yourself,” Lance responded.
Tanner suddenly recalled their early morning calisthenics in the shower and all sense of decorum vanished, leaving him hot and bothered.
“How about we stay home instead of going out, and I fuck you against every wall of the house?” he growled suggestively, closing the distance between them and wrapping a hand around the back of Lance’s head to bring their mouths together.
Lance laughed as their lips touched, firmly pressing his crotch to Tanner’s. “What if I want to do the fucking?”
“Then I’ll happily bend over every available surface.” He was being perfectly serious. Hell, if tonight went the way he’d planned—and he had planned for such an eventuality—he’d be offering his ass up to Lance on a goddamned silver platter. The surprise currently nestled up his ass made him wildly impatient to fast forward to that part of the evening.
Lance started laughing so hard he had to step back to catch his breath.
“Date first, fucking after,” Lance said, shaking his head. Then he leaned close to whisper in Tanner’s ear, “I want to show you off before I take you apart.” Tanner was so turned on as Lance pulled him out the door that he couldn’t remember his own fucking name.
The Backyard Inn had always been a popular night spot for the locals. Surprisingly enough, this was Lance’s first visit. Tanner loved this place, recalling how he’d spent half his teenage years hanging out in the parking lot until closing time so they could jump the fence and play on the bowling court free of charge. The fence was incredibly high now, so jumping over it was a thing of the past, but the rest of the setup still looked the same.
The concept was quite simple. It was an exterior bowling alley, except you put the pins back yourself, and you played with a soft rubber ball—instead of a regulation, hard plastic one. The rubber ball still had three holes, but it didn’t hurt anyone if it accidentally rolled into a neighboring lane. Each lane came with a table for four, allowing you to dine while you played. Some people only came for the food and never bowled, so Tanner refused to recognize them as real patrons. The real ones knew how to pace themselves, so they weren’t too full to bend over and pick up the ball. They also knew when your game was up, you needed to leave to make room for others to play. Hogging the tables just to eat was so not cool.
“I’m really confused about how this deal works,” Lance confessed as they claimed their reserved table. All of the other lanes were busy—Tanner mentally patted himself on the back for calling ahead—and Lance was watching them play like he’d never seen anyone bowl before.
“You’re a numbers guy—you’ll get it eventually,” Tanner said confidently, elbowing him amicably. “What should we get to drink? You feeling fancy or—”
“A pitcher works for me,” Lance replied, looking around at all the tables and seeing pitchers of beer on most of them.
“Pitcher it is,” Tanner declared, and raised his hand to summon a waitress.
“You’ve been here before, I take it.”
“We used to come here a lot when we were kids. Good food, lots to do, keeps the neighborhood kids occupied and off the streets. When I was a teenager, the back fence was only a few feet tall, and we used to jump it at night after the place closed. We’d set up old pop bottles and have a game after hours.”
“Well, it looks as if they found a way to correct that little oversight,” Lance said, nodding towards the substantial twenty-foot hedge that separated the back of the courtyard from the parking lot. Tanner snorted and nodded.
When a waitress stopped by their table, Tanner ordered a pitcher of beer and a basket of wings.
“How spicy would you like those? We have sweet, mild, medium, and the devil’s tears.”
“The devil’s tears?” Lance asked, chuckling at the name.
“Yup, straight from down under,” the waitress confirmed with a wink.
“Ha! I always knew the devil was Australian,” Tanner said, which got a laugh out of Lance and the waitress. “How about we start with medium? We can always ramp it up later!”
“Great, I’ll be right back with your order.”
“You okay with getting some wings? Sorry, should have asked before—” Tanner squirmed with discomfort.
“Are you apologizing for ordering wings?” Lance asked mockingly. “It’s true that I’ve recently acquired a taste for cock, but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t mean I’ve lost my love for wings.”
Caught by surprise at Lance’s bawdy sense of humor, Tanner burst out laughing. Lance looked mighty proud of himself.
“You’re a bastard,” Tanner said with a chuckle. Lance shrugged but didn’t disagree. “I should have brought you somewhere nicer. I just—the weather was so nice, and I figured—”
But Lance didn’t let him finish. He placed his hand on Tanner’s shoulder and leaned in close.
“Stop. This is perfect. I don’t want to be wined and dined, T. God knows I hate pretentious food, and I wouldn’t know a good merlot from a boxed mixed red, not even on my best day.”
With a relieved sigh, he smiled, then looked at Lance questioningly.
“T?” he repeated. It wasn’t the first time Lance had used that nickname, but it was the first time he’d gotten to react to it honestly.
“You don’t like it?”
“Kind of love it,” he replied with a playful wink.
*****
The wings were just right, and the beer was ice cold. Tanner smiled across the table at Lance as he poured him another beer and they dove into a basket of wings. Lance thought he might be losing his mind because he’d only kissed this man for the first time a week ago and yet tonight, he was just one beer away from speaking those three little words that had no business showing up so soon. But there was no denying how he felt when Tanner looked at him with stars in his eyes.
Tanner rose from his seat to take his turn at bowling, and Lance tried to get his head back in the game. He wanted to win this competition. Loving on his man could wait.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake! What the hell was that?” Tanner yelled, pulling at his hair, watching his throw go wild again and end up in the gutter. He limped down the alley to retrieve their ball, muttering disconsolately the entire time about being scoreless.
“You sure you’ve been here before?” Lance teased him as he got up to take his turn.
“Zip it, Rain Man. Not a word out of you!” Tanner pointed his finger at him in warning.
“Or what?” Lance dared him while reaching for the ball.
“Or—insert the words that I can’t say in public with so many young ears around,” Tanner replied. Lance laughed and snatched the ball away.
He concentrated on the nine pins at the end of the alley, recalling the correct posture and motions he’d used years before when he’d bowled with his frat brothers. He stepped forward and released the ball, watching it roll down the lane and take out all the pins.
“Strike!” Lance shouted triumphantly, punching the air with his fist.
Tanner pretended to be furious and tried to frown but was smiling too much to pull it off.
“Lucky throw!”
Lance laughed as he went to re-set the pins and retrieve their ball. When he returned to their table, Tanner was busy scribbling away on the scoresheet.
“I don’t know if you should be left in charge of the scoresheet when you’re losing so pathetically. Might be tempted to cheat,” Lance joked as he plopped down next to him.
Tanner smirked and shrugged.
“Don’t worry, princess. You might be a no-good, rotten little cheater, but I’m a man of honour. I’ve written down every filthy point you’ve scored,” he declared, as he flipped the scoresheet over so Lance could see the numbers. “Here, you can check for yourself.”
Lance didn’t bother and simply winked at Tanner.
“Nah—it’s alright. Even a simple G.I. like you can do basic math,” Lance said as he handed him the ball.
Tanner huffed an incredulous laugh as he got to his feet. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were riling me up on purpose just so you’ll win.”
“Except you’re already losing badly so—” Lance countered, enjoying the lighthearted bantering. It turned him on when Tanner responded so quickly. He was clever and astute, and Lance loved the challenge of that as well as his quirky sense of humour.
Tanner was about to give him a snarky comeback when he was suddenly interrupted by a woman’s voice calling out, “Hi, Lance!”
Lance automatically turned around, surprised to see Julie standing next to their table.
Julie Piers had not changed since the last time he’d seen her. Her dark brown hair was still shoulder-length, perfectly styled in loose waves. Her almond-shaped brown eyes reflected her mother’s Asian heritage and were perfectly made up to accentuate their brilliance. She was wearing a dark red dress Lance had never seen before, carrying one of her matching, designer handbags Lance had never understood her obsession with. Despite her cover model appearance, he felt nothing more than superficial familiarity, like running into an old acquaintance at the supermarket. It seemed strange to be so completely detached so soon after their recent breakup. Nevertheless, there was no trace left of the feelings he’d once had for her.
“Just hey? That’s all you’re going to say to me?” she asked, disgruntled by his lackluster response.
“Uh—” was all he could manage as she stepped closer.
“Well, come on then, give me a hug,” she demanded, holding out her arms expectantly.
Lance hugged her politely then stepped back out of reach. He really didn’t want her manicured claws on him again any time soon. Better still, make that never again.
“How have you been? Business alright?” Her well-practiced, toothpaste commercial smile that he didn’t trust was firmly in place.
“Things are good, yeah,” he replied, looking down and then over at Tanner, deliberately avoiding her gaze and wishing with every cell in his body that she’d just disappear. Tanner, on the other hand, looked perfectly at ease and smiled at the two of them.
“Eh—Julie, this is Tanner—Tanner, this is Julie, my ex.” He could feel sweat trickling down his back during the introduction. He didn’t know what to say or do about the elephant moseying across the courtyard.
“Pleasure,” Tanner said, extending a hand, which she shook briefly.
“Tanner, huh? I don’t recall Lance ever mentioning you. Did you go to college with him?” She examined Tanner—or maybe appraised was a better word for it.
“No, ma’am,” Tanner replied cordially, shooting Lance a quick look that asked, “What do you want me to say next?”
Lance had no idea where to go from here. And Julie was obviously waiting for him to speak up.
“So, Julie, are you here alone?” He was desperate to steer her away from the Tanner situation and, hopefully, leave posthaste.
“God no!” she replied, shaking her head vigorously and giving a shudder. Her reaction didn’t exactly surprise him. He’d never bring her to a place like this. If he had, she’d have skewered him and never let him live it down. That alone said a lot about their compatibility, or lack thereof. “It’s my nephew’s birthday and he begged us to come here,” she said, with the same measure of enthusiasm one might show when going to visit the dentist.
“It’s a cool place,” Lance remarked, feeling oddly protective of its casual, fun atmosphere even though it was new to him. “Tonight’s my first time. The wings are amazing!”
Julie looked him up and down, snorting like he’d said something patently ridiculous. Then her gaze sharpened with interest.
“Are you—” she looked around, realizing there was just the two of them, “waiting for some friends to join you or—?”
“We’re on a date,” Tanner said, smiling broadly, eyes twinkling with merriment. He seemed so relaxed, acting as if he always dated men, so there couldn’t possibly be a problem. He was so confident that it took every ounce of control Lance had to hold back his laughter.
Julie turned to Lance to say something, but Tanner kept going.
“So, if you wouldn’t mind—” his tone jokingly dismissing her, as he nodded towards the kids’ party table across the courtyard. He was authoritative yet good-natured as he smiled and casually waved his hand in the kids’ direction, encouraging her to move along. Lance couldn’t help but smile in open admiration, vastly enjoying Tanner’s unique brand of showmanship.
Julie gave a soft chuckle of disbelief as she assessed Tanner from head-to-toe. After a moment of deliberation, she turned back to Lance and nodded approvingly.
“You did pretty good,” she whispered, leaning towards him conspiratorially like they were old friends. “You boys have fun,” she added in a normal tone of voice, winking at them before she walked off.
Tanner relaxed back in his seat, laughing at what had just transpired. Lance smiled, loving Tanner’s straightforward, no-shits-given attitude. And he was reminded once more why he’d fallen ass over heels for Tanner.
“Was that okay?” Tanner asked.
“Fine, yeah—just—” he shrugged and gave a wry laugh, still a little dazed by how Tanner chose to handle Julie’s interruption of their date.
“I didn’t mean to out us, but I also didn’t know—I mean—” Tanner struggled to find the right words.
“No, no!” Lance said, holding up a hand to stop him. Smiling, he reached for Tanner’s hand. “That was perfect,” he reassured him. Lance took a deep breath of relief as he thought about Tanner’s deft handling of her and his own sense of awkwardness when she’d first walked up to them. “You’re absolutely perfect.” He lifted Tanner’s hand to kiss the back of it gently. Tanner looked away, pretend-gagging at the sweetness of the gesture, but he couldn’t disguise his blush.
Lance had expected Julie’s sudden appearance to cast a shadow over their evening, but it didn’t. They carried on as if she’d been nothing but a fly, having buzzed in, and then, just as quickly, left again. They resumed their efforts to outdo one another in bowling, with Lance kicking Tanner’s ass repeatedly, as they sucked down more beer and snacked on wings. By the time they left, they were more than ready to head home and get naked.
As soon as the front door closed behind them, Tanner pushed Lance up against the door and began kissing him voraciously while tugging at his clothing.
“Too many layers,” he whined. Lance chuckled and tugged off Tanner’s shirt, before pulling his own over his head. Dropping their clothes along the way, they headed for the stairs. His hands worked Lance’s fly while simultaneously pulling his pants down and walking backwards. It was a glorious sight to Lance, if a slightly amusing one, as he watched Tanner’s features contort in concentration as he navigated the steps carefully while hungrily groping Lance’s body. They tripped a few times on their way up, giggling whenever they hit the wall or banister. By the time they reached the bedroom, Lance was down to his underwear, and Tanner was staring at him like a starved lion stalking a gazelle. Except the furthest thing from Lance’s mind was the urge to run away.
Trial and error had taught them that it was easier if Tanner wasn’t putting weight on his bad leg, so they stretched out on the bed facing each other. Their heavy breathing was the only sound in the room as Lance began running his hands over Tanner’s chest and abs while kissing his neck.
“Lie back,” Lance ordered, then nipped Tanner’s ear playfully.
Tanner looked at him curiously and then dropped back against the pillows, legs dropping open, his cock painfully hard.
Leaning over him, Lance slowly moved down his body, each kiss more languid and teasing than the last.
As his mouth kept Tanner distracted, his hands reached for the waistband of Tanner’s underwear, easing them down and then tossing them over his shoulder. Only the nightlight was on, casting a warm glow over Tanner’s skin. As Lance increased his efforts to please Tanner, he could feel his own dick plumping up and sought relief by gently rubbing himself back and forth against Tanner. As his dick began leaking pre-cum onto Tanner’s hip, he increased his rocking motion, planning some ways to take both of them to the edge together. If he did this just right, they would go off like Roman candles at the same time. He smiled to himself as he got busy.
Tanner hissed as Lance’s hand grazed his cock. He hadn’t intended to tease him this way, but he loved the way Tanner’s body contracted beneath him. Every muscle tight and responsive to Lance’s touch. With a chuckle, he took Tanner in hand, squeezing gently. Tanner’s cock stiffened even further, like smooth velvet over steel. Lance began to move his hand up and down, while running his beard over Tanner’s neck and chest, relishing Tanner’s moans of pleasure. He ran his thumb across the head, spreading the precum down the shaft, continuing to move his hand up and down at a slowly escalating pace.
Feeling himself approaching release, Lance sat up and used his free hand to fondle Tanner’s balls, finding them heavy and full. He cupped and squeezed them firmly, eliciting a high-pitched cry of “Oh, God, don’t stop!” Lance almost came right then and there.
“Fuck—Lance—please,” Tanner cried out in pained pleasure. Lance chuckled, as he licked and kissed Tanner’s chest while firmly jacking him off. By the time he’d licked down the length of Tanner’s happy trail, he’d added a slight twist to his wrist, making Tanner gasp and groan even louder.
“Oh, fuck, baby!” Tanner was reduced to babbling as Lance placed one last kiss to the edge of Tanner’s pelvic bone. He glanced up then, stilling his hands momentarily. Tanner’s eyes opened in shock at this disruption of his pleasure, but then his eyes closed again when Lance lowered his head to Tanner’s cock and licked the tip once before wrapping his lips firmly around the head. Tanner’s back arched with the intensity of this new sensation when Lance’s mouth joined the party. He chuckled as he traveled up and down on Tanner’s cock, working the base with his hand. He sped up and increased the suction, alternating that with licking up the length of Tanner’s shaft in time with his firm strokes. Tanner was reduced to guttural moans by the time Lance had exhausted his reserve of ideas. Tanner’s right hand grabbed at Lance in warning, something unintelligible that only encouraged Lance to work him harder. Tanner came in his mouth a second later, and Lance—who was still a newbie at this—proudly swallowed every drop. It was too much—a lot more than Lance could handle—as it triggered his own powerful release. He moaned and shuddered with pleasure as he pulled off Tanner and fell to the side.
Breathing heavily, Tanner stared blankly at the ceiling.
“You alright?” Lance asked, not really worried so much as just puzzled by the silence of his—boyfriend? Lover?
“Alright?” Tanner asked, like he’d forgotten what the word meant. “I don’t—” he swallowed audibly and grunted. “Think I forgot my fucking name there for a second,” he confessed with a laugh. Lance snickered while stretching out next to Tanner and resting a hand on his chest. Humming with contentment, he shut his eyes and just—breathed the other man in, enjoying the afterglow.
“Your mouth—” Tanner stopped and sighed with pleasure. “You’re way too good at that.”
Lance cracked one eye open and smiled faintly.
“My ex didn’t think so,” Lance whispered. Tanner rolled his eyes and moved towards Lance, cupping the back of his head and leaning in for a kiss.
“Your ex looked a bit stuck up, in my opinion,” Tanner stated flatly, and Lance had to laugh at that because—yeah, it was true.
“I don’t want to talk about my ex.” Lance reached for Tanner’s ass and gave it a firm squeeze. Tanner yelped in surprise and retaliated by pinching Lance’s hip. Then he sat back and gazed at Lance thoughtfully.
“What? You look like my brother when he’s trying to con me into something—” Lance looked suspicious as he eased back a few inches.
“I want to try something,” Tanner said hesitantly.
Lance wondered if this was another one of Tanner’s branching out experiences. In that case, he couldn’t wait to get started.
“What’s that, sweetheart?” Lance said, letting the warmth of his voice and his roaming hands reassure his lover that whatever he wanted to do was fine with him. More than fine, actually. “What do you want, T? Anything at all. I’ll give you anything you want,” Lance assured him, voice low and sultry, as his hands skimmed teasingly over Tanner’s body.
In response, Tanner reached for Lance’s hand, placing it firmly between his ass cheeks and gliding it downward until the tips of Lance’s fingers encountered hard plastic.
Startled when he realized what Tanner had done, Lance was wide-eyed with amazement.
“Holy shit!” Lance said, his heart hammering with excitement. “Are you sure you want to go there?” He prayed hard that Tanner was truly ready to take this next step. He’d love to be with Tanner this way, but he needed him to be sure.
“Fuck yes,” Tanner replied with a firm nod, gazing at him hungrily. “We need lube.”
He laughed as Lance enthusiastically leaped from the bed, nearly bouncing Tanner off onto the floor. Raiding the nightstand for condoms and lube, he grabbed the supplies and turned back to Tanner, now stretched out, legs parted invitingly while lazily stroking himself back to hardness.
“I think it’ll be easier this way—” Tanner suggested with a shy, uncertain smile.
Wordlessly, Lance pressed a kiss to Tanner’s lips again as his hands travelled to his ass. He found the flared base of the butt plug and gently pulled it out just as he sharply nipped Tanner’s bottom lip. Tanner arched off the bed with a strangled moan.
“No wonder you sucked at bowling with something that big lodged in your ass,” Lance said, surprising himself and Tanner with his crude frankness. Tanner barked out a laugh and lightly slapped Lance’s chest in reprimand.
“Shut up and fuck me already!”
The time for talking was over. Lance’s cock was rock hard, and Tanner’s ass was dripping with lube and waiting to be filled. Lance took his time, breaching him with a few fingers first. He’d done it to girls before, so he was familiar with what needed to be done, but they had never moaned and lifted their hips in pleasure the way Tanner did. He got to three fingers before Tanner began begging him to stop teasing him and get on with the fucking.
With a chuckle, Lance relented and pulled his fingers out. He put on the condom and covered it with lube, almost coming from the anticipation of burying himself inside Tanner’s hot body. Pressing the head to Tanner’s entrance, he felt the first ring of muscle tighten then relax, as he paused to let Tanner adjust to his size. With each slow thrust, rocking back and forth, Lance finally worked his dick into Tanner. The pressure was exquisite, and the sound of Tanner’s moans and desperate pleas filled Lance with a need unlike any he’d ever known.
After those first few minutes of pleasurable torture, he finally bottomed out and they both gasped with relief at the sensation. Lance swept the hair out of Tanner’s face, and he pressed kisses to his forehead, neck, and lips. He was concerned about Tanner’s comfort but before he could ask for reassurance, Tanner read his mind.
“You feel amazing,” Tanner promised, and then with a touch of humour, added, “Huge, but amazing.”
Lance snorted but gave an experimental thrust. Tanner clutched his shoulders compulsively as he groaned in pleasure and lifted his hips.
They were off to the races after that. Their bodies found a rhythm like that of a languid dance. Rushed thrusts, followed by longer, drawn out pushes and pulls. Lance kept kissing Tanner, feverish with need, trying to hold off his orgasm. He was being driven wild by Tanner’s desperate pleas for more, his fingers scoring Lance’s skin, as if trying to dig into Lance. Then there was the heat. Like a pool of liquid magma building steadily between them. The pressure built until he lost control of his hips completely. He slammed into Tanner with everything he had, encouraged by his shouts of pleasure. Suddenly, he found himself teetering dangerously close to the edge.
“Fuck—Fuck! Lance, I’m gonna—I need—" Tanner shouted brokenly, while Lance knew he was right there with him but didn’t have the breath to speak.
Instead, he reached for Tanner’s cock, jacking him to the rhythm of his pounding, pulling him over the edge with him. Lance almost blacked out as he came so hard.
They were both speechless for awhile. Lance rested partially on top of Tanner, putting most of his weight on his elbows so he didn’t crush him. He was still hard and wanted to stay inside Tanner for a few more minutes. As his cock slowly softened, he reached down to grab the condom at the base of his dick and pulled out slowly. Tanner moaned as he slipped out completely.
He marvelled at the overwhelming sensations, wondering with some amusement how it could be like this. How— how —could it be this, when it had never been anywhere near this amazing with anyone else. How had Lance stumbled his way through life to find Tanner? It felt ridiculous and serendipitous all at once, and while Lance was willing to just run with it, he thanked his lucky stars for this wonderful man in his bed.
“I’m really down with the whole gay thing—but falling asleep covered in jizz is just a tad much, dude,” Tanner declared with a snort, breaking Lance out of his trance, and making him laugh.
Tanner tried to get up, but his left leg wasn’t cooperating, so Lance pressed him back down to the bed with a thorough, heated kiss.
“Stay,” he ordered and went to the bathroom, wet a washcloth with warm water and returned to clean up Tanner.
After he’d cleaned himself up as well, he slid back under the covers to cuddle closer to Tanner. The nightlight next to their bed afforded just enough light for Lance to read Tanner’s expression.
“Are you doing okay?” Lance could not help himself. He wanted so much to take care of Tanner, seeking reassurance that all was well so he could get some sleep.
Tanner thought about it for a moment. “I’m much better than just okay.”
Lance smiled and pressed a kiss to Tanner’s forehead.
“Good night, sweetheart,” Lance said, remembering how Tanner responded so positively to that endearment earlier. There was some muttering about pet names, which made Lance chuckle, and then they drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 14
It seemed as if Dr. Jones knew Tanner had something special to talk about that Tuesday. Maybe she came equipped with some sort of spidey-sense/shrink-feelers that warned her in advance of his arrival. Another one of life’s greatest mysteries.
Tanner just had the best weekend of his life, and it was all because of Lance. They’d fucked like rabbits and, during their rest breaks, watched sports on TV, had a few beers, and finished up several house projects. Tanner hadn’t had a single bad dream, and while he knew it wouldn’t always be this way, he felt so much better now than when he’d been buried in a pit of despair prior to meeting Lance.
Dr. Jones was all smiles as Tanner took his usual spot on her large leather couch. She looked him up and down, appraising him as one would cattle at the stockyard. Whatever she saw seemed to satisfy her.
“You look good,” she told him, getting right to it.
“I feel good,” he admitted with a shrug. She waited for him to offer more information. Usually, this was the part where Tanner squared off with her, refusing to budge—to protect himself, but today—it felt like too much work. He’d been hanging onto so much luggage for so damned long. And all for what?
“I met someone.”
She nodded like she already knew. He pulled one of her decorative pillows into his lap, playing with the fringe along the seams to help relieve his nervous tension.
“A man,” he added, because he might as well come out and fucking say it, right? It was the whole point of sitting here once a week for an hour, forcing his ass to stay parked on this huge leather couch, wasn’t it? To admit to things, usually for the very first time. To come to terms with making decisions, right or wrong. He needed to man up and deal with this momentous decision he had made to be with Lance. Didn’t they both deserve his honesty?
She gave him a soft smile, looking neither surprised nor shocked. Perhaps she did already know, or maybe she needed a whole lot more than that to be surprised or shocked. Impossible to tell either way with her.
“Would you like to talk about him?”
Yes. He would like to. Just not for the reason he’d expected to. He talked about him mainly because Lance had started putting pieces of him back together. Pieces of his soul that he had thought were broken forever. He hadn’t thought it was possible. He talked about Lance because it was all he could think about these days. Because Lance was a safe place to land, and Tanner hadn’t come across one of those in over three years. He talked and talked, and she listened to everything. Tossing around ideas with him whenever he needed help with some aspect of the blossoming relationship that concerned or confused him. When Tanner ran out of things to say, he looked at her expectantly, waiting for her opinion.
Dr. Jones smiled and said, “I don’t see the problem.”
“I never said there was one.” He crossed his arms over his chest defensively.
She didn’t speak. But her sympathetic gaze told him you didn’t have to say it.
He sighed and leaned his head back against the couch. He squeezed the pillow a little tighter, pondering this one last thing about Lance. The one little thing that was tripping him up.
“He’s always taken care of others. His brothers, his mother—what if he’s not actually into me, but just—” he didn’t finish. He couldn’t. Words became trapped in his throat.
“What if you’re just someone else to take care of?”
He nodded because she’d hit the bullseye.
To her credit, Dr. Jones didn’t dismiss his fears. She sat back and thoughtfully tapped her pen against her note pad.
“You said he was in a relationship before you.”
“Yes, for several years.”
“Did he take care of her? Was that the foundation of their relationship?”
Tanner thought it over. Even after meeting Julie the other night, Tanner hadn’t asked much about her. He hadn’t felt the need to. From Tanner’s point of view, she was just the backstory to the clutter in the guest bedroom. When he’d met Lance, he’d seemed annoyed about how things ended, but it hadn’t been much more than that, so he hadn’t dug any deeper. Yet from what he did know—
He shook his head.
“They were together for about three years. It was more for the sake of convenience than anything else, and when her career took her to New York—” he thought of how Lance had put it. Of the way he’d described their breakup. “He didn’t want to live that life.”
Dr. Jones nodded and scribbled some notes before she looked back at him.
“I won’t tell you that you’re wrong. I think there is a valid reason for your feelings. Children who’ve grown up in difficult homes and who learn to take care of others often repeat that behavior in their relationships throughout adulthood. It’s—soothing to them.”
Tanner didn’t feel reassured at all. He opened his mouth to make a comment, but she continued before he could interject.
“That in no way means you’re a project to him. It’s probably his—love language of sorts. How he shows his love to those who really matter. Same way you want to fix his entire house or help move his younger brother out of his dorm.”
Tanner blew out a breath. He understood, he really did, he just wasn’t sure it was all that reassuring.
“Does he resent them? His mother, his brothers?” she asked.
Tanner thought of the animated way in which Lance spoke about his siblings, about growing up and going to all their football games. It was never anything but positive, like he’d genuinely enjoyed it.
“No,” he replied, shaking his head.
“Then I don’t see why he would resent you.”
“But I’m not one of his brothers,” Tanner pointed out.
“Exactly. You are not an obligation. He chooses to be with you—a choice, not an obligation. That makes a world of difference in how he treats you and shows his love for you.”
He sat in silence, thinking hard about the possibility that she was right about this, and he’d been looking at it all wrong. With a soft sigh, she cocked her head to the side thoughtfully as she sought the right words to summarize Lance’s behavior in a way that would put Tanner’s heart and mind at ease.
“People like Lance—caretakers—they don’t resent the people they love. Not unless they feel the relationship is one-sided.” In her gentle, sensible way, she just handed Tanner the final piece of the puzzle he’d been looking for all along.
Tanner laughed and flopped back against the couch. “I have a feeling you and him will be the end of me, Doc!”
She laughed along with him.
“The end of broken Tanner, maybe, but the start of a much happier one. Of that, I have no doubt.” Tanner held onto those words the same way one does to those spoken by a prophet. He could have left it at that, and he almost did, but then he glanced at the clock and noticed he still had a few minutes. Noticing his hesitation, she smiled encouragingly.
“I have time,” she assured him. It wasn’t the first time she’d said this, but every other time, he’d been recalcitrant, and she’d simply been waiting him out.
Tanner sighed and returned to fidgeting with the fringed pillow.
“I don’t remember the last time I felt this way—” he said, unable to meet her gaze.
“What way specifically?”
“Happy? At peace?” In love , but he didn’t want to go there. Not because he didn’t feel that way, but because that wasn’t the issue. He knew he was falling for Lance—hell, that he’d already fallen for Lance in more ways than one. It didn’t scare him. Everything else did. But not the feelings he had for Lance.
“You’ve been through a lot,” she acknowledged sympathetically while waiting for him to complete his train of thought.
“Right—” he agreed with a nod. He wondered for a moment if he could take it all back and just walk out. He didn’t want to go down this rabbit hole. So maybe—
No. If he walked out of here with these thoughts still whirling around, he’d be a wreck all evening, and he didn’t want to bring his shit home. Not when he didn’t absolutely have to. Wasn’t he dragging enough fucking baggage around with him as it was?
“What if it’s too much pressure? He can’t be responsible for my happiness—for my peace of mind— what if—” Tanner halted as he suddenly choked on the emotions tightening his throat.
Dr. Jones’ smile softened, and she nodded, pleased with his observations and his line of questioning.
“It’s important to find sources of happiness not tied to the wishes or actions of others,” she began, addressing Tanner’s valid concerns. “However—” she paused for a moment, carefully choosing her next words. “While it’s a good thing to have your own life vest and be able to just—float around independently in the water, when someone’s been literally drowning for years—it’s also normal to offer them a raft to rest a little before throwing them back in—does that make sense?”
Tanner thought it over, trying to make connections between his life and that metaphor. He thought he might understand it. Meanwhile, she carried on.
“You were drowning, Tanner. Taking on water and fighting your damnedest not to give in to the currents—but—you weren’t just drowning in a lake, or—or a river—you were lost in the middle of the goddamned ocean during a storm. And by your own strength of character that is quite extraordinary, you have managed to survive this long. But don’t you think you deserve a little rest? Someone to ease the pressure you’re under for a little while so you can catch your breath?” Dr. Jones asked, and in all the hours he’d spent spilling his guts, it was the first time that he’d ever seen her facade slip, allowing raw emotion to show.
Tanner nodded slowly, understanding gradually dawning on him.
“You’re terrible at metaphors, Doc,” he replied, voice rough with suppressed emotion.
She flipped him off before reaching for the tissue box next to her chair. If she wiped away a stubborn tear of her own, neither of them commented on it.