Chapter 18
June had gone by in a flash. Tanner worked hard on his wish list. The first step was getting moved out of his condo and into Lance’s house. It had been relatively painless since most of Tanner’s family had helped with the heavy lifting. No one had been surprised by Tanner’s decision to move in with Lance. In fact, they’d all looked inordinately pleased.
The next item on the list was more time consuming. Tanner researched all the training and certification programs in aircraft mechanics that weren’t too far away. When he toured a few technical training schools, he was told at each one that most of his military training was directly transferrable to his desired degree program. All he had to do was take some refresher courses and pass a series of examinations administered by the FAA. That news alone convinced Tanner that he could do this. So, he gave his two weeks notice to Mark and worked on setting himself up for college. After completing the official enrollment process at A&P Technical College, he was scheduled to start in August. That would allow plenty of time to buy textbooks and re-familiarize himself with aircraft repairs.
The only major hurdle left was the matter of coming out to Lance’s family, and surprisingly enough, it was Tanner’s reluctance that delayed the process. Lance had offered to call his mother several times, but Tanner kept saying it wasn’t the right way to do it. Lance understood, he really did. Both worried about how Lance’s family—especially his mother—might react, but Lance kept saying he just wasn’t sure it was worth the headache. After all, he’d practically raised his brothers while his mother had been busy rebuilding a life for herself. He’d protected his family. He had nothing left to give them, and if they decided that Lance’s choice of life partners was too much for them to handle, then—that was out of Lance’s hands. Or so he claimed. Tanner wasn’t so sure it would be quite that simple when the time came to share the news. He hadn’t known Lance for long, but he knew him well enough to recognize he wasn’t the type to find it easy to walk away from anything or anyone he cared about.
Breaking the news sooner rather than later was for the best. Especially now that Tanner was living with him. But Lance decided to wait until after his mother’s 4 th of July party to talk to her. She always got stressed out when she threw parties. Maybe a day or two after this one, he could drive down for dinner and tell her. That should work, if they could just make it through her 4 th of July bash in one piece. Tanner wasn’t a fan of parties. Not since he’d made it back to the US. Lance himself had looked far from thrilled about going, but since his mother had called him no fewer than four times in the past week to make sure he’d be attending, cancelling was not an option. Tanner had tried to bow out of it because fireworks were a real problem, but Lance had checked with his mother, and she’d assured him there wouldn’t be any. So, now they were both stuck going to the party. Yippee!
When Tanner awoke the morning of the 4th, it was to a cold, empty bed. After pulling on some sleep pants, he headed downstairs. His left leg was especially achy and stiff. Moving at a snail’s pace, he descended the stairs with extreme caution. He hated that constant feeling of precariousness every time he put weight on it. Unfortunately, he might have to consider some injections like Dr. Williston had suggested. No way should he be this achy after merely sleeping for seven hours. Mulling this over, he limped into the kitchen to find Lance at the stove.
Lance turned and said, “Good morning, sunshine!” with an excess of enthusiasm considering the hour, before returning to flipping something in a skillet.
“Mornin’,” Tanner replied, rubbing sleep from his eyes and smiling back at his boyfriend. He still wasn’t used to saying boyfriend, but it was getting easier now that they lived together.
“You’re up bright and early,” Tanner said, padding over and wrapping his arms around Lance’s waist so he could lean his chin on his shoulder and see what was in the skillet.
“I promised my mother I’d bring biscuits to the party tonight. I had to get up early today to get those going,” Lance said, as he flipped three pancakes.
“Yeah, well—slight problem, Rain Man, those are not biscuits!” Tanner observed with a laugh as Lance transferred the pancakes to a plate next to the stove.
“Look at you using your big boy deduction skills,” Lance said, voice mockingly sweet. “Those are for breakfast,” he said, pointing at the pancakes. “Biscuits are in the oven.”
“Ahhh,” Tanner said, kissing the side of Lance’s neck. He felt momentarily dizzy as his head swam with warmth. It was still so new to him—this peculiar flutter in his stomach—this sense of absolute safety when he held Lance.
“You sleep okay?” Lance asked, turning to face Tanner.
“Like a log,” Tanner declared. He leaned forward, pressing his lips firmly to Lance’s, feeling an electric zing all the way down to his toes.
“I woke up a couple of times last night, and heard you talking in your sleep,” he said, noticeably concerned.
Tanner really didn’t want to get into this. He just wanted to get some coffee and have breakfast. No drama, please. Calmly, he stepped away from Lance.
“Yeah, I’ve been doing that since I was a kid.”
“It was more like yelling, actually.” Lance’s voice was soft and empathetic.
“Maybe it was a sexy dream. I bet you were on your knees and I—”
“Tanner,” Lance interrupted, making Tanner jump slightly as he realized the man was now standing behind him. He turned around to see Lance smiling.
“I don’t need details. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Lance reassured him, then gave him a soft kiss.
Tanner heaved a sigh of relief.
“I’m great,” he replied, giving Lance a quick kiss of gratitude.
Tanner finished making coffee for himself and Lance, moving over to the counter where Lance was serving breakfast. Lance had really outdone himself this time.
“Holy smokes! What’s all this?” he asked, smiling as he gazed in wonder at the stacks of pancakes adorned with whipped cream, strawberries, and blueberries, with rainbow sprinkles on top like confetti.
“I knew there was brain damage,” Lance muttered. “Those are pancakes, honey. You remember? You saw me make them.”
He flicked Lance’s ear as he sat down next to him and heard a very satisfying yelp from his chef.
“It’s the 4 th of July! I have to honour my veteran! Patriotic pancakes seemed like the right choice.” He began amusing himself by shaking his fist in the air to the time-honored chant, “U.S.A, U.S.A., U.S.A.” like he was a spectator at the Olympics.
“Right. Cuz in the Army, when they wanted to commend us, they busted out the pancakes and served them with fruit and sprinkles!” he joked, taking a sip of coffee. “But seriously, thank you, these look great,” he added with a warm smile.
“My absolute pleasure,” Lance replied, just as Tanner dug in.
“Jesus,” he said in disbelief. “These are fucking amazing!” he declared a few bites later. Lance laughed and nodded, clearly pleased.
“Glad you enjoy ‘em,” he said, then narrowed his eyes at Tanner and leaned forward. “Come here.”
Tanner arched his eyebrows in confusion but readily obeyed. He watched, crossing his eyes, as Lance reached up and swiped some whipped cream off his nose. He snickered as he brought his thumb to his lips and quickly licked the cream away while maintaining eye contact with Tanner.
“That should not be as hot as it was—” Tanner remarked, his eyes locked on Lance’s face. Lance rolled his eyes, and Tanner resumed working his way through his stack of colorful pancakes.
“Pancakes were always Parker’s very favorite thing to have for breakfast. I used to make them every Sunday for him and Jeremy.”
“Will your brothers be at the party?” Tanner asked. Although Lance had invited him to attend as his plus one, he had yet to get any details about the event.
“Unless they want to be hunted down like fugitives from justice, they better be,” he laughed. “My mom doesn’t fuck around with party planning. There’ll be lots of people. The neighbours. Her co-workers. My stepdad’s family.”
“Are you sure she won’t mind that I’m coming with you?”
“I already told her I was bringing you. She thinks the more the merrier when it comes to throwing a party.”
Tanner nodded, but he still had his doubts about attending this shindig. He hadn’t made a very good impression the first time they’d met, though that was more on her than it was on him. He’d done nothing wrong. His general appearance of being a bad boy biker and all-around bum was one that all mothers loved to hate, and she’d been no exception.
Lance reached over and picked up his hand, frowning slightly.
“Are you sure you’re alright with pretending to be just friends? Ideally, I’d have already broken the news to her, but—”
“Lance, babe, don’t worry. I’m okay with being friends. We agreed doing the phone thing was not a good idea. Best not to give your mother a heart attack before the party,” Tanner assured him with a wry grin.
“Right, it’s just that I feel like shit for making you pretend you’re my good friend Tanner instead of—”
“Handsome man extraordinaire?” Tanner interjected smugly. “And don’t forget sex god!”
“Right—and there’s that brain damage again,” he joked. Tanner merely smiled.
“Just relax, Lance. It’ll be okay. I don’t see the problem in sticking to the original plan.”
“You sure?” Lance asked yet again, worrying about dealing with his mother’s pretentiousness while having to protect Tanner at the same time. It made him seriously cranky.
“Dude, why should I give a flying rat’s ass what people think about our relationship?”
“Okay, but didn’t we agree weeks ago that we wouldn’t hide anymore?” Lance asked, playing his own devil’s advocate.
“Sure, and we won’t, but a party with a big bunch of people is not the place to tell your mom that we’re in a committed relationship.”
Lance sighed, relieved that Tanner understood him so well.
“Well, unless you are trying to give the woman a heart attack.”
“Not the plan,” Lance replied with a chuckle.
“Then it’s settled—I’m your handsome bachelor friend who’s been helping you fix up your house. See how easy that is?”
Lance chuckled and reached over to squeeze his hand in a show of solidarity and affection.
“Admit it, you just want to be able to hit on all the older, rich women,” Lance said with a wink.
“Oh, my heavens, no! Now my plans are completely foiled!” Tanner said in a falsetto voice, putting a hand up to his forehead like a damsel in distress.
Lance laughed at Tanner’s ridiculousness. It wasn’t a magical fix, but as far as Tanner was concerned, if all he ever accomplished in life was easing Lance’s worries even slightly, then he’d die a happy man.
The party was in full swing by the time they arrived. Cars lined the street.
“Jesus, she really does go all out for her parties, doesn’t she?” Tanner asked, as he took in the number of people who’d shown up.
“I hope somebody brought extra beer to this thing, cuz I’m gonna need it,” Lance said as he got out of the car and picked up the plastic containers of his homemade biscuits from the backseat.
Tanner laughed and relieved Lance of two of them.
“You sure you’re okay with this?” Lance asked, as familiar feelings of anxiety and concern about Tanner’s welfare returned with a vengeance.
“A 4 th of July barbecue? I think I can manage.”
“But you’ll tell me, right? If it gets too much? If—if you need for us to leave for any reason.”
Tanner looked puzzled for a moment, then nodded and smiled.
“Pinky promise,” he said, lifting both containers and extending his pinkies. Lance laughed and gave him a quick shoulder bump.
His mother spotted him immediately as they rounded the corner of the house. Like a target lock on a missile, she headed straight for him. Stylish as always, today she wore a linen dress with blue and white stripes that matched her sunglasses and hat. She’d always been a sharp dresser—even when they’d had far less means.
“Lance,” she said, hugging him tightly. “I’m so glad you’re here, baby.”
He returned the hug and stepped back.
“You remember my good friend Tanner.”
Although his mother smiled politely, it never quite reached her eyes.
“Well, of course I do! Here let me help you with those containers,” she said as she reached for the two containers that Tanner was holding.
“Thank you, ma’am,” Tanner replied cordially.
Lance put his biscuits down on the table next to Tanner’s. After she’d arranged them to her satisfaction, she turned to face them again.
“You boys need a drink! Parker’s playing bartender, so please do me a favor and go check on our liquor supply!”
Lance nodded and gave a quick laugh.
“Sure, Mom!”
He grabbed Tanner by the arm and gave it a quick squeeze. “We’ll catch up later.” He leaned forward to kiss her cheek and then led Tanner towards the bar.
His mother’s house wasn’t huge, but the size of the yard was truly impressive. She’d set up a makeshift bar on a platform where people could go to order drinks. Parker was busy mixing and pouring drinks like it was his regular day job, rather than his usual role of frat boy who thought Gatorade and vodka tasted good.
“She knows all these people?” Tanner asked, as they worked their way around groups of guests to get to the barn.
“My mom’s a bit of a socialite,” he answered with a shrug. “She didn’t used to be—with my dad—” He just left it at that, because he didn’t really want to talk about what life was like with his dad while wading through a crowded party on a beautiful summer day. “She was ashamed, back then, so she didn’t have much of a social life. But then she married Jeff, they moved here and then joined the local country club—well, let’s just say she found her calling.”
“Wait. You said she was ashamed?” Tanner asked, looking confused.
“My dad was loud. Threw shit, yelled, broke stuff. The neighbours would hear them fight, and she hated it. Actually, we had to move a couple of times when it got really bad. She was too ashamed to stay too long in places where the fights were the worst.” He tried to be matter of fact about it. After all, those days were long gone.
“Hell, that’s not—” Tanner shook his head, as his hand closed around Lance’s forearm. “That must have been horrible. Like—not just your dad, but your mom being ashamed of the family and—”
“It doesn’t really matter anymore.” Now it was old news. Old thoughts. Old feelings. Old pain. He’d been so young, and while he’d hated the way his mother sometimes looked at him and his two brothers like they were ruining her life, he’d also understood. It was true, in a way. There had been no doubt in Lance’s mind that the only reason she stayed was because of them. If she’d never had kids, she’d have left her husband long before things got as bad as they did.
“Yeah, but Lance—”
“It’s old news, Tanner. Seriously. She’s moved on and completely turned her life around. You can see that we’re all better off now, so—” he interjected, not wanting to answer any more questions. He hated his visceral reaction every time the subject came up. He was desperate to put all that shit behind him and had zero interest in talking about it. Not even with Tanner. Maybe especially not with Tanner.
Tanner looked as if he wanted to know more, but they were approaching the bar and needed to place their orders with Parker. Definitely not the right time or place to dig up old family history.
They moved forward as the couple before them left with their drinks, and Parker smiled with delight when he saw them.