Chapter Ten
Icould be completely off base here, but Caleb and Marcus have some wildly obvious sexual chemistry still simmering between them.
The animosity appears to be dwindling as they hash out their past hurts with one another.
There haven’t been any new discoveries, beyond what was discussed between Caleb and I at the gym, at least. And, for the record, I’m impressed that Marcus actually admitted that he was quite gutted when he and Caleb parted ways.
He obviously got more emotionally attached during that time than I think he was even aware of.
Outwardly, he portrayed it as more of a two-time summer fling type of situation, but it’s apparent now that he’s been minimizing the value of what they had together in the years since.
Caleb, on the other hand, confessed that he wasn’t in it just for those summers at all.
He fell hard for Marcus, loving every minute they spent together—which, I will say, was a lot more than I even remembered it, apparently.
Marcus even went so far as getting to know Caleb’s family, which should have been a huge beacon right there that things were much deeper than he’d even known.
It’s easy to see—now, in hindsight—why Caleb reacted the way he did when Marcus broke it off.
Was what he did right, per sé? Definitely not, but I do understand lashing out disproportionately when you’re hurting.
I’ve stayed silent, only here acting as a mediator in case things got too intense, but so far, I’ve just been a silent bystander. This has left me with ample opportunity to work out other things in my head. Things such as what Micah and I touched on, prior to Caleb showing up at the gym.
The notion of a throuple.
Honestly, the thought, at first, seemed utterly dismissible.
Not only do I have Brody to take into consideration, but how Marcus would choose to handle that as well.
Caleb has made it abundantly clear, to both me and Marcus, that what hurt the most about their split was Marcus’ insecurity about coming out.
In order to make something like this work long-term would mean that eventually, he would have to admit to being in a relationship with Caleb too.
That is, if I’m technically in a relationship with Caleb as well, which… I’m not sure I am at this point, am I?
We've been on a few really good dates so far, we have been texting non-stop in the times in between, and he seems like he wants exclusivity… so, maybe? I don't know! I'm bad at this! Ugh.
Regardless, the last thing I would want for Caleb is for him to feel like a dirty, little secret all over again.
He’s not. He’s suffered enough heartache, and deserves affection and care.
Receiving that from two people? Well, I don’t see why that should be an issue, but that’s obviously not how the rest of the world sees things.
That old adage about how love should be multiplied and not divided has never seemed truer than it feels right now. Not that I’m in love with Caleb right now or anything, because I’m not. But, like… it’s a possibility that it could go there, isn’t it?
At any rate, I’m getting way ahead of myself here. Obviously. Right now? It’s all about Marcus and Caleb being able to see things from the other’s perspective, and it seems to me like they’re doing fine. They’re on the same page.
Ope, they’re on the same page and they’re hugging now too. Tears. I see streaks from them on both of their cheeks. They’re smiling though, so I suppose that means happy tears?
Is now a good time to bring up the prospect of trialing a throuple situation? Shit, I don’t have a friggin’ clue how any of this works. Clearly. I kneed a guy in the balls on our fourth date, and then I ended up nearly reduced to tears over the whole ordeal.
Tell me I’m not a total dumpster fire without actually telling me I’m a burning ball of hot mess express.
“It’s super late. I should get going,” I see Caleb signing. “At this rate, I’ll only be able to get a couple of hours in before we have to be down at the docks.”
Marcus snorts. “From what I’ve seen over the past couple of weeks, Gannett is late every fuckin’ morning. I doubt he’d even give a shit if we overslept.”
“Regardless of whether he is or not, I’d rather not set that bar for myself, that it’s okay to be late.”
“True. Yeah, you’re right. Wouldn’t be a good look for the new hires, would it? Slacking off within the first month…” Marcus asks hypothetically.
“Want me to pick you up on my way?” Caleb asks him.
Marcus shrugs. “Sure. I’ll prep some coffee for the two of us. You still like yours black?”
Caleb nods. “You remembered?”
“Uh, duh. There’s so much I’ve never been able to forget about you, C.”
Bright red streaks flare up Caleb’s neck as his eyes turn down to the floor, as if there’s something interesting on the linoleum. Crumbs aren’t what I consider interesting, however. His gaze flicks back up to Marcus.
“I’ll see you tomorrow morning then,” he signs, then spins to me. “Sorry, you’ve just been so quiet over there…”
I shrug. “No biggie. Just figured it wasn’t my place to interject.”
He strides over and presses a sweet kiss on my cheek. “Will I be seeing more of you in the future?” he asks me hesitantly.
I offer him a reassuring smile. “If you’re not too nervous to be near my rambunctious knee…”
His throat bobs on a silent laugh. “Going to take a whole hell of a lot more than a knee to scare me away. Adrenaline junkie, remember?”
From the corner of my eye, I see Marcus still standing in the kitchen, shifting awkwardly. “What about my husband, who still obviously has the hots for you?” I ask Caleb.
“Hey! I never said—” Marcus squabbles, but I cut him off.
“It’s okay if you do, babe. And it’s okay if you do too, Caleb. I promise, I’m perfectly fine with it,” I admit, feeling emboldened enough to test the waters with them both present.
Their heated gazes meet, but neither of them seems to know how to respond.
So I continue, “It, like, wouldn’t bother me if you—if we—all gave dating each other a try.
Or whatever. Just to, I don’t know, see how that would work.
I mean, obviously you work together now, so you’ll be spending boatloads of time with each other.
Heh, pun unintentional.” I anxiously pick at the inside of my cheek with my teeth.
Marcus clears his throat, but it does little to clear the rasp from his voice. “You mean, like, you and him… and him and me?”
I nod. “And me and you.”
“So, a T-H-R-O-U-P-L-E?” Caleb asks me, fingerspelling what is so foreign that I’m not even sure there’s an actual sign for it. At least, it never comes up in any medical appointments I’ve interpreted for anyway.
I nod. My cheeks feel like they’re on fire right now. Oh god, I’m going to keel over in embarrassment, aren’t I?
“Babe, I don’t know…” Marcus hedges. “Are you sure that’s such a good idea?”
“I know I’m not personally in any shape to be making such big decisions tonight,” Caleb admits. “Can I go home and think about it?”
“Oh, yeah. Absolutely. If, I mean, if I read the room wrong, you’d be honest and tell me though, right?”
Caleb nods. “Yes. This is just a lot for one day, and I’m wiped. You?” he asks Marcus.
My husband sighs, his expression unreadable. “Yeah. I agree, too much to unpack at midnight. Best we just sleep on it.”
On that, Caleb gives me one more kiss and then shows himself out. When I get done brushing my teeth and changing into sleepwear, I find Marcus in bed with the light still on, waiting for me. He flips back the covers on my side and pats the mattress.
“I should apologize for not telling you about Caleb,” he murmurs when I flip off the light and slip in next to him, curling myself in under his arm.
“It’s okay,” I tell him.
“No it’s not. I don’t keep things from you. I never have. It didn’t sit well with me.”
I let my hand caress the silky material of his slip on his side.
“I can pretend to be madder about it, if it makes you feel any better. But I’m truly not, Marco.
Caleb explained to me that it was on him for not telling me sooner.
Listen, I appreciate you always looking out for my well-being as if I'm fragile, but every once in a while, it'd be awesome if you just, I don't know, take my word for it the first time when I say I'm okay.
It helps to make me feel less broken, if that makes sense.
I'm stronger than you give me credit for sometimes…”
He blinks at me, clearly unnerved by my request. I get it. He's so caring that it'll be hard for him to let go of that instinctual need to coddle me, but I can be patient with him as he struggles with it.
“So, we’re good?” he finally asks.
My hand wanders between his thighs, underneath his nightdress. My blunt nails lightly dancing on his flesh. “We’re good, baby.”
My palm slides up, cupping his semi-hard cock.
Gently I stroke him, through the fabric of his underwear, until he’s fully hard.
This literally never happens without gay porn playing in the background, but I’m not complaining by any means.
Multiple times tonight I was brought to the brink of caving and giving myself over to Caleb, but something deep within me kept wanting for the safety and security of Marcus.
“Mmph, that feels good,” he sighs, his hips hitching up into my hand.
“Do you want me to suck you off while I play with myself?” I ask him, keeping my voice as low and smokey as I can make it.
“No. I want Earl,” he whimpers as I stroke him with a little more force behind my grip. “I want you to fuck me, Lo.”
I roll over to get my toy and some lube out of my nightstand. “My nails popped off,” I note. “Want me to prep you?”
He nods, having removed his thong and taken over stroking himself while I get Eggplant Earl situated in me. I grab my pillow and nudge his ass to encourage him to lift his hips so I can slide it beneath him. “That’s a good boy,” I coo when he does.