Chapter Thirty #3
Colton eyes his father warily from across the table. Suddenly, it hits me…
My project at work is one that was left unfinished by a woman, named Miranda, who had tried to do something similar years ago, but all that progress was halted when she suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. Miranda… Waters.
There’s no way that her last name being Waters is just a coincidence. Wow, holy shit. Not for the first time, I’m sitting here amazed at just how small this world really is.
Caleb squeezes my hand underneath the table to get my attention. “You okay?” he mouths at me.
I nod. “F-A-T-E,” I subtly fingerspell to him and his brows pinch. “I’ll explain when we get home,” I add.
“Okay,” he replies hesitantly. Then, he shifts forward to stand. “I’m going to go get Aaron a piece of that cake.” He glances up at Marcus. “Swap places with me?”
Marcus nods, and the two of them trade places.
Marcus sits next to me and beams with a mix of such honest affection towards me and complete confidence in himself that I can’t help but smile back at him.
Sarah giggles at that, and I’m almost positive that it’s because the sight of me displaying such an earnest expression of contentment, while in public, is quite foreign.
I can’t help it though. I’ve just realized that I’ve missed out on far too much by lurking in the shadows of what should be everyday life.
Me being here, at a bar, is the equivalent of Caleb being out on the ski trip with us back in December.
It’s me being strong and working on overcoming the fear that has rooted itself deeply in me.
This is me, Lauren, letting the wind fill my sails and take me wherever it desires, and knowing I have the strength and fortitude to withstand whatever lies ahead.
I wouldn’t have done it without either of the men in my life either.
I never would have gotten out of my head enough to do so.
But to miss out on this—meeting a whole community of folks who have helped change the landscape around here into something more fluid and accepting of that fluidity—would mean that I’d be complacent and anchored in my old ways.
I don’t think that’s who I want to be anymore.
Marcus gently pats my thigh. “Polo,” he says, prompting me to peer up at him. “I’m proud of you, babe, for coming today. I’d ask you how your first meeting went, but I’m positive I don’t have to. I’m sure you nailed it.”
“Thank you,” I reply, blinking back the stinging sensation behind my eyes. Tears of joy have managed to spring up. “I’m proud of you too,” I add.
“Would you like something to drink?” Marcus asks. “Taryn, the kid who just bought this place, is one hundred percent trustworthy, but, if you want, I can go make sure it’s something bottled.”
I lick my lips. The young man across the table, sitting next to Morgan, is eyeing me expectantly, waiting for an answer. He must be Taryn, I presume, and if I also had to guess, he’s Gordy’s son. Other than being blond and having no tattoos, he’s the spitting image of Gordy.
“Um, could I get a mimosa, please?”
“Absolutely,” he says, nodding.
I will myself to keep my eyes on Marcus, rather than watching Taryn mix the drink, just to see if I can do it—if I can let that other fear go.
Knowingly, he never breaks that eye contact with me.
I can feel Caleb’s penetrating gaze from the other side of me as well, and I can practically hear the silent cheers they’re directing my way.
Brooks goes so far as to nudge my foot underneath the table.
Taryn slides the drink to me before asking if he can refill anyone else.
While most everyone else’s attention is elsewhere, I take a tentative sip.
It’s amazing. Not because there’s premium orange juice or top shelf champagne, but because I trusted and am firmly able to believe that nothing bad will come of this.
I swallow down an even bigger gulp right after, smiling.
Discreetly, Brooks does a little fist pump, winking at me. Marcus gently strokes my thigh before giving it a reassuring squeeze. Caleb sets down the plate of cake he’s been slowly feeding Aaron and flashes his hands at me.
“You’re one hell of a brave woman, Lauren,” he signs.
Aaron makes a noise. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say even he is in agreement. To my right, Sarah gives me a cheeky double thumbs up. Gordy—the only other one observing me having this quiet breakthrough—nods his head, looking down at his lap and fidgeting with his cuticles.
No matter the cheerleaders in my corner, however, I’ve done it for myself, and I’m wholly proud of myself for having done so.
In fact, I’ve been doing a lot of things for myself lately.
Opening myself up to love, transitioning to a new career, and extending the walls built around my heart to let more people in.
And, one thing is for certain, treading unfamiliar water has never felt so damn good.
I’ve got this.
We’ve got this.
As if mentally in sync with me, as always, Marcus assures me, “We always make things work…”