Chapter 4 #2
from it. You have to experience things yourself to really learn.”
“Like
kissing?” Zach says with a slow smile.
“I’m not
teaching you how to kiss,” I growl at him, and his eyes twinkle
at me.
“Who said I
need you to teach me how to kiss. One thing I’ve learned
from the short time I’ve been here… you’re not the
only woman in this new, modern world, Moira Reed.”
My jaw drops open at
the implication of what Zach just told me, and it’s true. There
are so many things… sex in particular, that Zach could learn
from someone else. He truly doesn’t need me for that, and maybe
all I need to do is introduce him to someone and let nature take its
course.
But no…
that’s ridiculous. Zach is nowhere near ready to enter into a
relationship with someone. While he may be a confident, Caraican
warrior, he’s really just a babe out of the womb when it comes
to learning about relationships, sexual or otherwise.
And besides that…
the thought of him being with another woman just doesn’t set
well with me for some reason.
“Now, this is
your first lesson in pop culture,” I tell Zach as I slip the
DVD of The Notebook into the Blu-ray player. On the way home
from lunch, I stopped and rented a few movies. “And it just
happens to have a little lesson on kissing as well, so you can thank
me later.”
Our afternoon has
been busy. After a stop to get the movies, I came home and started a
batch of chocolate chip cookies. While they were baking in the oven,
I pulled my laptop out and searched YouTube for videos on kissing.
Sure enough, there
were several, and he spent a few minutes watching the videos with
curious eyes. He even laughed… a beautiful sound truly…
when we watched one video of an exuberant German guy apparently
explaining all the ways he kisses his girlfriend. We had no clue what
he was actually saying, but he was having a good time, no doubt.
Then Zach was lost
to the chocolate chip cookies. I busied myself with checking my email
while he ate an entire plate, actually sighing with pleasure at the
first bite. I just smiled to myself and kept my eyes glued to my
computer screen.
Now Zach sits on one
of my couches, his long legs sprawled out in front of him. The sun is
just setting outside my windows, and the late afternoon light washes
him in a soft glow. He is such a beautiful-looking man, and I never
tire of looking at him. I am thankful, however, that he seems to have
forgotten, for the moment at least, of his “no clothes in the
house” policy. I seriously don’t think I can sit on the
opposite end of the couch and watch an entire movie if he were nude.
I have a hard enough
time paying attention to the movie as it is. I slide my gaze over to
Zach every once in a while, and he seems absorbed with what he’s
watching, but only in the way in which I’ve noticed he
carefully observes everything.
Today, I’ve
made some amazing progress with Zach. I’m not sure if it was
buying the Cocoa Puffs for him, or maybe it’s the fact he is
finally seeing that this world may hold a slight bit of interest to
him, but he is nowhere near as defensive or withdrawn as he has been.
I can only hope that we continue on the same path, and that he will
continue to be open to experiencing this new life.
The movie finally
gets to the scene where Noah and Allie kiss on the dock in the
pouring rain, and I slide my eyes back toward Zach. He’s in the
same position, legs stretched long in front of him with his hands
resting over his taut stomach. He doesn’t move, doesn’t
acknowledge anything about the kiss. The scene changes, and Noah and
Allie are in his house, kissing passionately while he pins her up
against the door. Zach just continues to placidly watch the scene
before him, moving not a muscle, making not a sound.
Noah carries Allie
up the stairs, and then they are making love on the bed while they
kiss each other with hungry passion. Zach wanted to know what type of
kissing was involved in sex, and now he has his answer. Although he
seems completely unaffected by the sensuality on the screen before
us, I unfortunately can’t help but imagine what it would be
like if Zach kissed me that way. Would he find pleasure in it? The
buildup… the foreplay? Or is he a man that only needs to mount
a woman from behind to seek his relief, not caring a bit if the woman
is ultimately satisfied as well?
Those thoughts have
me slightly squirming in my seat, but I make myself sit there and
watch the rest of the movie while dirty notions run through my mind.
When the credits
finally roll, I stand up, grab the remote, and turn the TV off.
Turning to Zach, I ask, “Well… what did you think of the
movie?”
“It was
boring,” he says.
I laugh in response
and tell him, “Congratulations. You have suffered through your
first chick-flick.”
“Chick-flick?
What does that mean?”
“It’s
just a term we call movies that are specifically designed to appeal
to a woman, and not a man.”
He nods in
understanding. “I remember seeing a movie with my parents once.
I don’t remember the name of it, but it was about a little boy
that played some type of game with this little girl, and he was
sucked away into the game, where he was transported to a jungle. He
lived there for many years and grew to become a man. Later, some
other children found the game and played it, and the man was brought
back out of the jungle… back to the modern world.”
My jaw drops as I
stare at Zach, completely shocked over this memory and the irony of
the one movie he remembers from his childhood. “I remember that
movie… it was called Jumanji . It starred Robin Williams
who was a brilliant actor… my favorite actually.”
Zach shrugs his
shoulders. “I don’t remember the name, but I remember I
liked it as a child. Do you have that movie?”
Shaking my head but
with a hoarse voice filled with raw sadness for Zach, I tell him,
“No. But we can get it for you to watch.”
Zach gives another
shrug of his shoulders, as if he really couldn’t care about the
prospect, and stands from the couch. “I’m going to bed.”
“Okay,”
I say quietly, wanting to engage with him further on this memory,
because I know the frightening similarity of the movie memory to his
real life has to be weighing on him at this moment.
Instead, I stay
quiet and watch as he walks toward the hallway that leads to the
bedrooms.
Just before he
disappears from my sight, he turns and says, “The kissing part
was interesting… in that movie we just watched.”
“Do you
understand now how kissing can play a role in sex?” I ask in my
best teaching voice.
“I saw it, but
I don’t really understand it. But as you said… I’ll
have to experience some things for myself to truly learn, right?”
“I suppose,”
I hedge a little.
“Then I look
forward to learning about that type of kissing… with someone
that can truly teach me,” he says with absolutely sincerity and
turns away from me again.