Chapter 23
Zach
Moira’s given
me the silent treatment almost the entire trip to North Carolina. I
was waiting outside her room when Randall exited.
He gave me a smile
and clapped me on the shoulder. “She’s a special woman,
Zach. Tread carefully with her.”
I merely nodded at
him in understanding, feeling pretty fucking low about myself. I
breached Moira’s trust in me by revealing our secret, but I was
so tired of hearing her fears. I knew Randall wouldn’t care and
would even be happy about it. But I couldn’t get her to see
that, so I took matters into my own hand. And I knew she was going to
be pissed at me, but I did it anyway.
Randall’s
words to me… to be careful with Moira… punch me in the
gut, because the thought of hurting her shreds me from the inside
out. I know I hurt her just now, and I know I’m going to hurt
her when I leave.
But I have to return
to Caraica. There is nothing for me here. Nothing except Moira, that
is. But what is she going to do? Take care of me? Let me live with
her in exchange for providing her orgasms? I have nothing to offer
her. Nothing that I’m good at except hunting and raiding, which
are skills that are absolutely useless here in this society.
I entered her
bedroom to find a suitcase on the bed and her putting clothes in it.
For a brief moment, I thought maybe she was still going through with
her plan to quit but then, in a clipped voice, she said, “You
should go get packed if you still want to go with me to visit Lisa.”
The grin that popped
out on my face was spontaneous, so relieved I was that she wasn’t
quitting her job.
Quitting me.
She glared at me in
response.
“How long are
you going to be mad at me?” I asked.
“I haven’t
decided,” she sniffed, and my grin got bigger. I’d let
her have her pique for now, but if she wasn’t talking to me by
the time we went to bed tonight, I’d fucking demand that she
forgive me. I figured I’d fuck her back into line if I had to,
just so I can have her smile and laugh again.
I’ve tried
several times to strike up a conversation with her during the ride,
asking her more about Lisa and her family. Her words were short, but
she wasn’t about to be totally rude to me. So she gave me some
minimal information, but managed to still radiate angry vibes toward
me.
My cock was hard
half the time, thinking about getting into her pants so I could make
her warm up to me again.
When she pulls into
her sister’s driveway in Wilmington, in front of a cute beach
cottage of gray shingles and white trim, I turn toward her. She shuts
the car off and starts to grab for the door handle. My hand snakes
out and I let my fingers slide along her jaw, where I grip it firmly.
Turning her face toward me, I wait until I have her attention and
say, “I’m sorry.”
She glares at me, so
I pull her face toward me and slide my lips along hers. “I’m
sorry,” I tell her again… sincerely.
Stiffness radiates
off her, and I know I’m not forgiven just yet. I kiss her again
and say once more, “I’m sorry.”
Pulling back, she
looks at me with accusing eyes. “You could have ruined my
career, Zach. You put this entire project in jeopardy.”
Anger surges through
me because I’m tired of being considered her test subject. I
know she certainly doesn’t feel that way when I’m lodged
balls deep inside of her. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Moira. I
don’t give a damn about your project, but I knew Randall wasn’t
going to be mad and I was right, wasn’t I?”
“That’s
beside the point,” she sputters, and I kiss her again to shut
her up.
When I pull away, I
clasp her face. “I’m not your pet project anymore. I
don’t fucking need you to help me adjust because let’s
face it… I’m doing just fine here. I’ve played by
all your silly rules. I eat with my fucking utensils, and I don’t
go around killing people on a whim. I understand your rules, and
nothing about this world freaks me out. And I was tired of fucking
hiding what we have. Do you know how much it kills me not to be able
to touch you when I want, or to keep my eyes averted for fear someone
might guess that we’re fucking each other? I was sick of it,
and I’m glad I did it, and I’d do it again. So be pissed
at me if you want, but I’m fucking the remaining bitterness out
of you tonight.”
The anger finally
seeps out of me as Moira stares at me with wide eyes over my rant.
Her chest rises and falls in tune with my own.
“You don’t
need me anymore?” she asks in a small voice.
Pulling her into my
arms so her face is buried in the crook of my neck, I squeeze her and
growl, “I do fucking need you. More than I want to admit. But
not as an anthropologist. I need you the way a man needs a woman.”
“But you
already have that,” she tells me. “I give that to you
already.”
“Maybe I want
more,” I tell her impulsively, because maybe it’s time to
lay it all out on the line. Maybe it’s time to give a voice to
these feelings I’ve been having.
“More?”
she asks hesitantly as she pulls back to look at me, and it kills me
to see the fantasy of a happily ever after in her eyes. Because I
don’t see how I can give that to her, yet I know I’m
not ready to let her go right now. I’m a selfish fuck.
Scrubbing a hand
through my hair, I let out a breath and try to clear my mind. “Look…
Paraila wanted me to commit to a year here before I considered going
back. I know I haven’t exactly given in to that idea, but what
if I did that? What if I just committed to a year here… with
you… and we see what happens?”
Hope fills Moira’s
eyes and I feel wonderful and wretched all at the same time, for
offering her something I’m still deep down not sure I can
fulfill. All I do know is that I don’t want her mad at me, and
I want to be here with her right now with an absolute vengeance.
“Commit to a
year here?” she asks.
“Yes. We can
stay in Atlanta until you have to start back at Northwestern for the
winter semester. We’ll move into my parents’ house
because as much as I like and have come to respect Randall, I don’t
like sponging off him. I’ll get a job. Then we can go back to
Evanston when you have to start work. We’ll stay there until
next summer, and I’ll decide what to do then.”
I know I’m
hedging on that last statement because my mind hasn’t been
changed. At least not as of this exact moment, because I still feel
deep down in my heart that I need to return to Caraica. It’s my
true home, and as much as I’ve come to care for Moira…
as much as I think I’ve come to need her… my loyalties
are still with Paraila and the tribe. The biggest part of my heart is
still there.
Moira gives out a
stuttering breath. Her voice is shaky when she says, “Okay. I
think that’s a good plan.”
I smile at her then
because, for now, this crisis has passed. “It’s a plan
then.”
Moira surprises me
when she grabs ahold of my face and kisses me deeply, plunging her
tongue in, and I’m helpless to resist. I kiss her back,
grateful to return to where we were… a mutual need for each
other that we are both willing to satisfy by living in the here and
now. I can do a year here. No problem. Not with Moira by my side.
Pulling her lips
back slightly, Moira whispers, “I think I still might be a
little pissed. I think you’ll definitely need to fuck that out
of me tonight.”
I groan at the
thought and wonder if I could just fuck her right here in the car, in
broad daylight. My hand drops to the front of her jeans, and I work
at her button. At the very least, I could probably get her off really
quick.
Knock, knock,
knock.
Moira springs away
from me, whipping her head to the driver’s window, where a
woman stands peering in at us. This is no doubt Lisa, as she has the
same red hair and green eyes as Moira. She’s slightly older but
they look remarkably alike, except Lisa is a little more rounded in
the breasts and hips, probably from childbirth. I’ve noticed
that happens to some of the Caraican women after they’ve had
children.
Moira doesn’t
spare me another glance, just pushes the driver’s door open and
flies into her sister’s arms. I watch them hugging through the
window for a moment, reach down to adjust my hard-on, and then get
out of the car.
I turn to look at
them over the roof of the car as they smile at one another.
Lisa shoots me a
glance and then looks back to Moira. “Sorry to have interrupted
your… um… whatever it was you were doing. But I’ve
been hanging out at the window watching you since you pulled in, and
I couldn’t stand not giving my baby sister a hug another moment
longer.”
Moira laughs and
pulls her sister back in for another squeeze before releasing her. I
shut the car door and walk around the back. When I reach the sisters,
Moira introduces us. “Lisa… this is Zach. And Zach, this
is my sister Lisa.”
Lisa reaches a hand
out, and I shake it. “It’s a pleasure, Zach. Moira’s
told me a lot about you.”
She then turns back
to Moira and punches her lightly in the arm. “But apparently
not everything. That was some kiss I was watching.”
“Stuff it,
Lisa,” Moira says with good nature, and then reaches her hand
out to take mine. I don’t hesitate a second, linking our
fingers together in what is our first public display of affection
around someone we know. It feels… nice… not to have to
hide my attraction to Moira.
“Well, come on
in,” Lisa says as she turns toward the flight of stairs that
lead up to the porch of her stilted cottage. “Adam should be
home soon, and I’ve got some steaks to throw out on the grill.
The kids are so excited to see you.”
Almost as if on cue,
the front door bursts open and two red-haired children… a boy
and a girl… come barreling down the steps screaming, “Aunt
Moira.” Moira told me in the car that the little girl is eight
and the boy is just six years old. I watch as she falls to her knees
and opens her arms, then both kids are crashing in to her for hugs.
She wraps them in