Quotes from the Bliss-isms Bible™ （Deluxe Unclenched Edition）
(Filed between chapters and chakras.)
Vibe-Based Practical Nonsense
“Never trust a man who doesn’t believe in moon water. Or tip well.”
“Charge your phone and your crystals. In that order, if Mercury is in retrograde.”
“You can’t align your chakras if you haven’t had a snack.”
“If it’s weird and it works, it’s sacred.”
“Spiritual downloads hit faster in a linen robe and nothing else.”
For the Boys / Emotional Chaos
“Men crave softness. They just don’t know how to ask for it without breaking something first.”
“If he cries during the cacao ceremony, he’s yours now. That’s just how energy bonding works.”
“Let him scream into the forest. Then hand him tea and a crystal dick and tell him it’s okay.”
General Spiritual-ish Vibes
“You are not broken. You are just misaligned with your moon crystal.”
“Healing isn’t linear. It’s spiral-shaped, and sometimes it makes you dizzy and cry in a hammock.”
“Every man has a wounded inner boy. Some just hide him behind protein shakes and emotional constipation.”
“If you can’t feel your feelings, dance them out in the moonlight. If that doesn’t work, wine.”
“Stillness is where the soul whispers. Or farts. Either way, you learn something.”