Chapter Twelve
GRAY
THE TREES are sagging with the weight of the sleet that’s been falling all day. The aggressive, frustrated breath that puffs into the air in a white cloud in front of me is quite the opposite of the peaceful, soft glow of the moon that’s reflecting off the thin sheet of ice covering everything.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I lean against one of the posts of the wrap-around porch.
This side of the house is the part that faces Marley’s stable, it’s also the part of the porch Dad had professionally built out and decorated for Marley after she was raped and beaten by a classmate at her senior prom.
She spent a lot of time out here by herself after that happened.
It nearly killed Dad and Mason that it changed her so much. Mason was protective of Marley before, when she was still confident and outgoing, but after she was attacked, he was at her back at all times. He became a force to be reckoned with.
She went from being a fun-loving, high school barrel racer to a skittish, withdrawn woman who prefers spending time with horses more than people.
It was during her time alone on this porch that she told dad she wanted to rehab abused horses to find them good homes.
He had the stables and paddocks built for her within the year.
She’s been caring for horses that have been beat down at the hands of men, to make them whole again ever since. Her protective nature toward them is fierce as a bobcat, I think it’s partly how she helps herself feel whole.
I think Mason being forced to join the service made Marley feel like she was losing another part of herself, in addition to what she had lost because of the attack. It was the first time they had been separated.
It was also one of the worst times of our family. We all hated watching both of them go through that. After Mason left, Marley was worse for months. I tried my best to fill in for him how I could, but I knew it just wasn’t the same for her.
It changed all of us. I just wish Mason would have finished the fucker off instead of the near-death beat-down he gave him.
The sleet falling sounds like sizzling meat and I wish I would have finished my dinner, but I couldn’t sit at that table for another minute. It’s been a long time since anyone has managed to knock me off my mount quite like that woman has.
When I woke up this morning, aside from the bad weather, it was a normal day. But the next thing I know, a bloody, beautiful little woman is walking up my driveway. When she asked me to let her warm up before I made her leave, my heart hurt for her.
I’d have been more likely to give my left nut than make her leave when I heard the desperation in her voice and felt her small body against mine. Lord knows when I threatened to send her back to her car, I was full of shit.
When she stepped closer to me in the office and lifted her chin in defiance, the faint smell of peaches drifted up to my nose and I had to stop myself from leaning closer to take a deeper breath.
Her fiery amber eyes and the way she squared her shoulders mixed with the sweet scent pushed all reason from my head and I was just…
mean. It was the only way to quickly hide the stirring desire I was trying to shut down.
If she weren’t working on the other side of the fence, I would say that little vixen getting her back up at me was cute as fuck.
But she is working against us.
After that little dust-up, the air in the house was stifling, so I bundled up and strapped my shoe spikes on my boots to come out and check on things. The weather man predicted we’ll most likely lose power in rural areas, and we should prepare for it to be down for more than a day.
I’ve double-checked the generators to the two stables and made sure all the horses are covered, a couple of Marley’s rehab horses won’t let me near them, so I had to look in on them from the corridor to keep them calm.
Then I checked the generator that’s connected to the house, it won’t support all the electronics in the house, but the refrigerator, deep freeze, and a few other bigger items will be usable.
It’s only five degrees outside, but I’ve been stomping around in the ice, running on frustration since I walked out of the house, and my hat feels too hot for my head.
Pushing the brim up with my gloved finger to let some of the heat out, I shake my head because I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next few days being so close to someone so beautiful and off-limits at the same time.
The creak of the screen door pulls me out of my thoughts and I hear my dad’s boots on the wood porch. I don’t look at him, I know what he wants.
“Was that really necessary?” His tone is sharp.
Looking out at the pond, I say, “She walked in on me, she asked for it.”
“You don’t think you asked for it with your little outburst during dinner?” His question bubbles out on a scoff.
Resisting the urge to duck my head in shame, I step away from the post and turn to him. “She’s not supposed to be here, Dad. Mason and I told her not to come back. Fucking forgive me if I’m not feeling all warm and fuzzy toward her.”
He takes a step toward me as he pulls the collar of his wool coat up to his ears and then shoves his hands in the pockets. “What’s really got you so riled, son?”
How do I tell him that just being in the same room with her pisses me off? That beautiful smile pulls me to her in a way I don’t fucking understand, because I know it’s all a facade, just a mask to get what she wants.
Just being close to her feels like I’m on a carnival ride that’s tilting me into her when I should be running away as fast as I can.
The last thing I need is to have Lainey Rai around any of her manipulative bullshit. She’s a corporate girl through and through, not someone I should give any of my energy to, much less let my daughter around.
Sucking a deep breath into my lungs, I look out over the yard before I answer, “I just don’t want Lainey Rai to worry.”
His eyes move over my face, knowing I’m not telling him everything.
His poker face is securely in place to see if there’s anything else he might get out of me, but I learned the art of poker faces from the best. “I know you want to shield her from the hurts of the world, son, but she’s only going to learn how to cope and forge ahead by feeling those things you want to protect her from.
She’s a strong little girl, and she has all of us. She’ll be fine.”
Nodding my head, I grunt in agreement and start walking to the door. The last thing I want to do tonight is argue with him, because when it comes to my daughter, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she's safe and happy.
Taking my hat off, I hit it against my leg to dump the sleet that's accumulated on the brim and open the back door, Wilson is sitting next to it, waiting for me. He cocks his head to the side and looks at me with his one icy blue eye and one brown eye, he always looks like he’s smiling.
We found him and his two siblings when they were pups in a box at the end of the driveway by the front gate, they were so sick that one of them couldn’t even stand up. All three of them were blue merle with little stubby tails and marble eyes.
We couldn’t believe anyone would dump them, Australian Shepherds are extremely smart dogs. They could have at least taken them to the shelter.
His siblings died, but after a night at the vet and IV drugs for the parvo in him, he pulled through. She’s never said it, but I think that was when Breanna decided she wanted to be a vet, she was so disappointed when the other two pups died she cried most of the day.
“Hey, boy. Lainey Rai in bed?” I scratch him between his ears, and he gives me a little whine before his tongue lolls out of his mouth. He wouldn’t be down here looking for me if she were up still. He knows his job is to stay close to her, she’s never known a day without him.
I glance at the clock on the wall over the breakfast nook table; I got so wrapped up in trying to work out my frustrations outside that I lost track of the time. Dad walks in behind me, pulling his coat off.
“I tucked Lainey Rai in about a half an hour ago. She asked where you were, I told her you were making sure the generators were hooked up.” He keeps walking, his coat in his hand.
Guilt squeezes my chest. I try to always tuck her in and give her a goodnight kiss. I need to get my fucking head on straight.
Just as dad is about to go around the corner, he stops and turns around, “By the way, I moved our guest to Breanna’s room for the time being, she didn’t want to take your room.”
I bow my head and squeeze the bridge of my nose, I forgot I put her in there. “Okay. Thanks.”
As I pass by the family room on the way to the stairs, the TV is on, and Mason and Sloane are cuddled on the couch under a crocheted throw mom made when I was little. I have a vague memory of her working on it in the evenings as I curled into her while I watched TV.
The fire in the fireplace is crackling, and I smell popcorn. I sigh and remember what it felt like to have the woman you love next to you and start my ascent on the stairs.
Lainey Rai’s door is cracked open, she doesn’t like for her door to be closed all the way before she goes to sleep.
I quietly walk to the edge of her bed, but she’s already softly snoring, she sleeps like a starfish and her covers are already half off her.
I grab the edge of her star covered pink and purple comforter to pull it up over her and bend over to kiss her forehead.
“G’night, pumpkin.” I whisper.
She stirs enough to turn on her side away from me and mumbles, “Night, daddy. Love you.”
I’m daddy, again. A slight smile tips my lips up.
That’s what I needed. Hearing her sweet voice telling me she loves me is the grounding I need to bring everything into focus. I whisper back, “Love you, too, sweetheart.”
Her long dark-brown hair fans over her pillow, the same color as her mama’s hair, and she tucks her hands under her cheek. I listen to her soft breathing for a minute as all the stress across my shoulders unravels.
As I quietly pull her door closed, my bedroom door next to it opens. Elly steps out and crashes into me, I grab her arms to hold her steady. A warm buzz travels up my arms as I look down into her brown eyes.
“Hells bells!” she whispers and slaps her hand over her heart. “I didn’t know you were out here.” Her eyes volley between mine for a moment, her head tipped back to look up at me.
The bandage over her eye is gone and the small gash over her eyebrow is angry in red and purple colors.
Her smile is back, and she looks nothing like the little spitfire that was in my face earlier.
She looks friendly, like someone I would go out of my way to talk to under different circumstances.
Her phone is in her hand, and I put my finger over my lips and point at Lainey Rai’s door.
Her eyes dart to the door in surprise and she nods her head as she holds her hand up in front of her in surrender as she takes a step away, taking the warm smell of peaches with her. My hands fall to my sides, and I miss the contact.
“Sorry.” She mouths in a soft whisper. “I left my phone on your nightstand.” She holds it up in front of her like she needs to prove why she was in my room. “Would you happen to have a charger?”
Her eyes search my face as I look down at her, the voice of reason in my head is telling me to apologize for my behavior earlier, but I don’t want to be friendly with her, there’s no sense in being friendly with someone who'll use it against me and be gone in a few days.
Nodding my head, I keep my voice low and my face slack, “There are chargers in the kitchen you can use if they fit your phone.”
“Great, thanks.” She clears her throat and those amber eyes soften beautifully. “I want to apologize for my outburst earlier, I was out of line.”
Here’s my chance. I could take this olive branch and be nice, try to be the person I was raised to be. Instead, I look over her face and say, “Don’t worry about it.”
The small glimmer of hope in her eyes flickers out and her eyebrows pinch ever so slightly before she nods. “Okay.” She hesitates for a second like she is going to say something else but decides against it, “Well, goodnight.”
I nod once, “Night.”
She turns and pulls the sweater tight around her, the damn potato sack hugs her curves and round little ass as she pads down the hall to Breanna’s room in Marley’s fluffy socks.
I step to my door but watch until she gets to her door.
I expect her to walk right in, but she looks over her shoulder, her eyes meeting mine as she turns the knob and offers a tight smile before she disappears into the room.
The sigh that escapes my chest is a silent wish for different circumstances and I go into my room. I’m suddenly exhausted from the day’s events and trudging around on the ice, and all I want to do is get into my bed.
When my head hits the pillow and I pull my blankets over me, the soft smell of peaches floats into my nose. Every nerve in my body wakes up and my cock instantly gets hard.
Damn it to hell.