18. Misely
eighteen
Misely
T alon was not in the bedroom when I finally convinced myself to emerge from the bathroom. I’d stretched the time by combing and drying my hair, applying my facial products, and then standing and staring at my reflection in the condensation coated mirror.
He had in fact left a large mark on my neck. My cheek, still bruised from Chicago, was now rosy from the extended time it’d spent pressed into the frozen ground. Usually when I looked in the mirror, it was to prepare myself; for work, for an evening out, to just face life…It didn’t matter. When I looked in the mirror, I was reminded that I was fierce. That I stood out. That nobody and nothing would ever make me feel small.
Because I was good enough for me. I knew I was beautiful and smart and outspoken and I didn’t care if that made me vain. It didn’t matter if nobody else ever saw me because I did . Except now, when I looked at myself in the mirror, I did not recognize the woman that stared back at me. It wasn’t the uninhibited, unhinged sex. It wasn’t even the man I’d had it with, a thought which in and of itself was disturbing.
It was the sheer lack of emptiness I felt. I looked in the mirror and saw a marked woman and I didn’t feel numb or sad or ashamed or any of the things that had become synonymous with my detached sexual encounters.
I felt satisfied.
I stared at myself, feeling like I was high for the first time and desperate for more. It was confusing and dizzying and most of all, frightening.
When I walked back into the room and saw Talon wasn’t there, I struggled with the dueling disappointment and relief that washed over me. From the tray of lunch that had been left on the end of the bed, it was easy to assume that he had left me alone on purpose. Add that to the mind-fuck of the day— he’d left me alone, again, after I’d already run away once, without trying to detain me to the bed with handcuffs.
I took the food to the table by the terrace doors, trying and failing to conjure up the resentment I’d had for Talon only a few hours before. It shouldn’t have been so difficult. I just needed to remember how I ended up at this gorgeous hotel to begin with. I needed to remember why Birdie and Milo were forced to move all the way to Oregon in the first place. I should have remembered the surveillance my parents were unknowingly under. It should have been that easy, but it wasn’t.
Because I couldn’t manage to feel any such thing while staring down at the extra slice of cheesecake that lay on the tray.
“The Lodge has been here since 1905. It’s had a few different names and a few different purposes, but overall, it’s been a stopping point for travelers going on their way to rest.” Susie was beaming as we paused in front of another aged photo on the wall.
She was giving me a tour of the hotel, proudly reciting all the rich history. I did my best to absorb it all—if I were here under literally any other circumstances, I would have been fascinated. But, unfortunately for us both, my mind was elsewhere. Somewhere with a man with piercing gold eyes and callused hands.
Talon was avoiding me. It was obvious. Even at dinner he was nowhere to be found. If it weren’t so confusing, I might have been offended. Just that morning he had been so concerned that I was a flight risk that he’d kept me handcuffed to the headboard of our bed. Now it had been hours since our last interaction, and I had no clue where he was.
That was, at least, until Susie and I reached the end of one of the second floor halls. Susie’s face contorted with confusion and then morphed into concern when the sound of Talon’s angry whisper shouting floated around a corner wall. She opened her mouth to say something to me, but I shook my head.
“I should see what’s going on,” I said to her with a reassuring smile. “Could you go down and see if I could get a cup of hot tea before bed?”
She hesitated, inspecting my expression before deciding to leave me to it. The moment she was out of sight, I crept to the corner on the tips of my toes, thanking the old floors for not creaking as I did.
“I don’t need you to call every goddamn day and remind me,” Talon hissed. “Stay the fuck away from Leo.”
Leo ? I hadn’t heard that name before. As far as I knew, Milo only had the two siblings, an older brother and sister. I pressed my back into the wall firmly, doing my best not to miss anything.
“What do you think I’m doing? I told you I’m following a lead.” A pause. “I’ll tell you once I’m sure that I’m on the right trail. You don’t need to know.” I could hear the furious way he pulled in a breath through his nose. “Threaten him again, I fucking dare you. I’ll break your other arm so the fractures match the one Milo gave you.”
That narrowed down the who he was talking to easily enough, a satisfied smirk pulling at the corner of my mouth. I’d been at Top Shelf Pins Bar & Bowling when Milo had snapped his uncle’s arm for touching Birdie, the memory pinned in my mind like a tattoo. That had been the first time I’d seen Talon.
But this information only opened the floodgates to more questions, leaving me reeling. Talon was being threatened. Talon was being threatened? From the information Birdie and Milo had shared with me, in their attempt to have me as prepared as possible to defend myself if need be, Talon was the muscle in their weird little drug dealing family. He was the threat.
Sensing that he had ended the call, I stepped away from the wall quickly. As I rounded the corner, I smacked directly into Talon’s chest with a hard thud . He glared down at me, fuming. I had the good sense to be genuinely scared of what he might do to me for eavesdropping.
“T-Talon,” I stammered, struggling to find the words to explain myself. All I could come up with was, “Who’s Leo?”
His upper lip curled into a nasty snarl, looking meaner than I’d ever seen him. “Mind your fucking business.” His shoulder hit mine hard as he stormed past, bounding down the old stairs loudly. I stood there dumbstruck for several long moments, unable to find the will to move.