Chapter 32
ROSE
Angelos wipes his red eyes and sniffles as I enter his room.
He wouldn’t come down for food, so I let him eat chips and pizza in his room while he cooled off.
He clutches an old stuffed toy, a resemblance of the dog we had when he was a child.
I couldn’t take the dog with us when I fled and Angelos has never forgiven me.
I sit on the edge of the bed, Sir-Pounce-A-Lot creeps through the gap in the door and jumps up, pawing at Angelos’ chest as if he senses his anguish as well.
“Want to talk about it yet?” I pat his arms as he lies on his side, curled into a ball. “I hate it when we fight. I love you.” I close my eyes for a brief moment. It’s just been me and him all this time. He’s never had to compete with anyone for my affection before. Not even Magnus.
“I’m sorry, okay.” He lets go of the stuffed toy and lets it fall to the ground as he sits up in the bed and takes the drink of milk I’ve brought him. After taking a big gulp, he wipes the milk from his top lip. “I just don’t understand why Dad can’t move back in with us when he’s out of prison.”
“Because there are things that you’re too young to understand. But when you’re old enough, I’ll tell you. Magnus and I don’t love each other.”
He huffs. “So you love Dan now?”
I twist my hands together. I haven’t declared my love for Dan to anyone, not even him, but I can’t deny it any longer. “I enjoy having him around. Will you give him a chance? For me?”
Angelos shuffles back down the bed and hands me the milk. “I don’t have to like him.”
“No, but while he’s here, you have to respect him.” I rise from the bed, not wanting to get into another argument. I pull his duvet over him and tuck it around his neck, placing a kiss against his cheek. “We’ll talk more tomorrow. Night.” I flick his light out.
“Night Mum.”
“Love you,” I whisper before I pad back into my room.
Dan looks up from his phone with a wrinkle in his brow. “How is he?”
“He apologised, but I still don’t understand what’s got into him.”
“Maybe he’s realised I’m a permanent fixture.” Dan places the phone on the bedside table with a sigh.
“Everything all right with you?” I take the few steps to the bed where he’s sat and run my fingers through his hair.
“Yeah, just waiting for an important text or a phone call about a job.” His hands slide up the back of my legs and I wish I didn’t have jeans on, so I could feel his rough palms against my skin.
I don’t pry. I know he won’t tell me any more, so there’s no point.
He rises from the bed and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’m gonna take a shower.”
I nod and change into my pyjamas, then sit at my dressing table and take off my makeup.
Dan’s phone rings on the bedside table, making me jump.
Steam billows from the en suite bathroom and I lift the handset to take it to him in case it’s important. His phone vibrates in my hand, and the name Magnus dances across the screen.
My body freezes on the spot, my feet glued to the carpet, unable to move. The ringing pierces my ears, even though the phone’s gone silent. My hand still shakes as if the phone’s still vibrating.
There’s more than one person called Magnus. My brain tries to rationalise, but the seed of doubt is rooted so far into my heart, telling me not to trust this man.
He used me before. He could do it again.
A shiver wracks my bones, my heart racing as my temple throbs with a sharp stabbing pain in my head. I place his phone back on the night stand and clutch my belly, nausea taking hold as my stomach ties itself into knots.
I could just ask him who Magnus is. But he wouldn’t even tell me the truth about what he showed the cop the other day. This man is a master of lies. He’s been perfecting his game face since I was a teenager.
A cold sweat coats my skin. I sit on the bed staring at the phone. My body trembling. I take in deep breaths and regulate my breathing. He can’t hurt me anymore. Even if he finds me, he can’t hurt me anymore.
“You all right?”
I lift my head.
Dan leans against the bathroom doorjamb, a towel wrapped around his waist, water dripping from his hair onto his chest, dampening the inked feathers there.
Magnus might not be able to hurt me anymore, but there’s something else that terrifies me. Something that deep down I’ve known all along. I’ve let my guard down again with Dan and he’s betrayed me.
Again.
“You look pale.” Dan walks over from the doorframe and reaches out a hand to my face.
I flinch, sickness rising in my throat. “I’m gonna be sick.” Barging past him, I rush to the bathroom and wretch into the toilet. The contents of my evening meal expels out of me as I wretch again.
Dan gathers my hair in his palms. “Shit. Do you think it was the pizza?”
I curse myself. I haven’t been like this in a long time.
Since Magnus’s incarceration, I’ve had nothing to fear.
But it’s not Magnus I’m afraid of. I’m scared that I’ve given away my heart to a man who doesn’t deserve it.
I’m scared I’ve put my son in danger by admitting all our secrets, and I’m terrified that if the phone call is completely innocent, what if I’ll never be able to fully trust Dan after what he did?
I thought I could. I thought I could move on, but it’s clear.
One little thing and my mind goes to the betrayal.
I can’t live with someone I don’t trust.
He hands me a glass of water. “You feel better now you got that up?”
I nod as I take a drink with my shaky hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Dodgy fucking pizza, that’s what’s wrong.” He helps me to my feet. “Did Angelos have any of your ham and pineapple?”
“No. Just me.” I step out of the bathroom, out of his arms, and breathe a little easier. “I just want to go to sleep.”
“I’ll check on Angelos.” Dan pulls on a pair of grey joggers and leaves the room.
I rush back into the bathroom and open the mirrored cabinet. Tablets clatter against the sink as my trembling hand knocks them off the shelf in my search for a bottle of old sleeping pills. I need to buy some time.
“What was that noise?” Dan lets out a sigh of relief as he enters the bathroom. I thought you’d collapsed.”
“I was looking for my peppermint capsules. Thought they’d settle my stomach.”
Dan’s brow furrows. “Is this anything to do with your condition? Do you need a drink of juice or anything?”
I nod. “Would you get me a drink?”
He disappears out of the room and I pop two capsules from the bottle of sleeping pills, then quickly empty them into the half drunk glass of water on his side of the bed.
He returns to the room and hands me a glass of juice.
My shaky hands take it from him and I bring it to my lips to drink.
“Angelos is fine. Fast asleep.” The bed dips as D’Angelo climbs into the bed, his warm palm slipping around my waist as he nuzzles behind me. “Can I get you anything else?”
I shake my head. “I just need sleep.”
“If you feel ill again in the night, wake me.” He presses a kiss to the side of my face, then turns, drinking his water before turning out the lamp.
Guilt claws at my throat, almost suffocating me as I lie on my back, staring into the darkness, unable to sleep.
I need to know once and for all who he is. I can’t be having an episode every time someone named Magnus calls, but I don’t trust Dan enough to just ask him.
Unable to sleep, I lift his hand from my stomach and slip out from under the duvet.
Creeping around the bed, I reach his side and the phone on the bedside table.
I chew on my bottom lip, knowing what I’m about to do is wrong.
I’ve never once invaded a person’s privacy, but I need to put my mind at ease if I’m to get any sleep tonight.
I’ve never drugged anyone either. I guess there’s a first time for every thing.
Holding my breath, I slide the phone under the duvet and use Dan’s thumb to unlock his screen.
His gentle snore into the pillow keeps my heart rate steady as I sneak into the bathroom, scrolling through his messages.
Let me know when you’re back in the UK
Just checking in. Haven’t heard from you.
Get in touch. I have some information about your wife.
I’m in Manchester. Meet tomorrow outside the cathedral and you can tell me what you have on my wife and the kid.
My hand shakes, tears blur my vision, making it difficult to read the rest of the messages. Details about me and my son. My life laid out in black and white, cold and clinical, as if I’m nothing more than a report.
A target.
A mission.
I swallow the thick air, my chest tightening as pictures of a young Angelos fill the screen.
My boy. Bile claws up my throat. They’re photos I recognise.
Family photographs I took, the last one of him and Magnus before he went to prison.
He was never a good father, but he never laid a hand on him and I’m grateful for that, at least. Angelos always idolised him, like a little puppy dog, just following him around for the tiniest scrap of affection, never understanding his dad would always leave him hungry for more.
The edges of my vision blur with panic, the screen trembling in my grasp. This isn’t a suspicion anymore. This is proof. Proof that the man sleeping soundly in my bed has been tracking me. Using me. Again.
My throat closes up, making it difficult to breathe.
I glance back at Dan asleep on the bed, peaceful in his lies. His betrayal squeezes my heart. My lungs feel starved for air, like I’m drowning on dry land.
Maybe he can explain, my heart whispers, clinging to hope like a fool. Just like I did all those years ago. But my head screams louder. I won’t be that silly girl again.
I stood up for him tonight. I let him into my home, my bed, my life. And he’s been lying to me, every step of the way.
I defended him before, thirteen and a half years ago. I kept thinking there was a mistake, that he hadn’t just slept with me to get to my father, to pull the trigger, then disappear like I never mattered.
My brother’s words ring loud and clear, like an alarm bell buzzing in my head. Are you completely stupid? Look at you, Rose. Why would a man like him date a girl like you?
I don’t know what’s real anymore. He never came back for me, never even answered my letters. And he’s already confirmed everything—so why I gave him the benefit of the doubt this time around, I’ll never know.
A broken sob catches in my throat, but I smother it. I can’t wake him. I can’t let him see me fall apart. Not now. Not when I know the truth. The man I trusted with my heart, and my son, is the very same man who could destroy us.
I swallow down the panic clawing at my throat and slip the phone back onto the bedside table, my hands trembling.
I can't stay here. Not another second.
Quiet as a shadow, I book an Uber, and gather what I need. Angelos’ bag by the door, my purse, the spare house keys. I nudge Angelos awake, my heart twisting at the confusion in his sleep-heavy eyes.
"Come on, sweetheart," I whisper. "We have to go."
His eyes flutter open, fear creeping in. But he doesn't ask questions. He knows this drill.
This isn’t our first escape. We fled in the middle of the night before, when he was five—after Magnus’s incarceration, after I realised I was still a prisoner in that house.
Not even all that wealth and luxury could keep me there, not with his men eyeing me every five minutes as if I were just another possession.
My son wasn’t going to be raised by gangsters.
Minutes later, we slip out into the night, the door softly closing behind us like the final seal on my heart.
Sir-Pounce-A-Lot is nowhere to be seen, but I know Mrs. Aranda will take care of him.
“Where are we going?” Angelos asks, rubbing his eyes in the back of the taxi.
“Helena’s.” My voice cracks, my throat dry as dust. “Then I’ll think about what to do next.” The sun paints the horizon in a red hue like a warning beacon. A magpie flies in front of the car, and I remind myself it’s not a bad omen, just a bird foraging for food. Not a sign. Not a sign.
“Is this because of Dad?” He stares out the window, the veil of darkness lifting from the trees in the distance.
“Why would it be about Dad?”
“Because he said you might try to run from him.”
My head whips to the side, cold dread seeps through my ribs. “When did he say that?”
“He came to see me. Why didn’t you tell me he was out of prison?”
The words slam into my chest like a brick. My breath catches, my pulse roaring in my ears. “When?”
“After my birthday.”
“What else did he say?”
“He said that Dan will try to poison you against him. That Dan’s trying to break our family up.”
My stomach drops, heavy and cold. My nails dig into my palm to stop my hands from trembling. Dan. Always Dan. My heart splinters again. “Is that why you were in a mood when we picked you up yesterday?” I rub the throb in my temple. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“He told me to keep it a secret.” Angelos’ voice falters. “I’m sorry, Mum.”
“Did you tell him where I live?”
His gaze drops to his lap. His whisper is barely audible over the hum of the taxi's engine. “I think so.”
I stare out the window, watching the estate disappear behind us, swallowed by the rising dawn.
Deep down, I know I won’t be coming back.