Chapter 4
Lani
I can’t believe I just agreed to move in with Evan. When he had his arms wrapped around me and my head was laid upon his chest, I could hear the beat of his heart. As I listened to the strong, steady rhythm, I felt myself start to calm and finally be able to breathe.
When he said the universe decided we belonged together, it hit me—he’s right. But as much as I want to be with him, I have to fight it. I can’t allow myself to fall for Evan. My attraction to him is only rivaled by how much I fear him. Men like Evan want control, and I gave up control of my life ten years ago. Since I walked into that party, three monsters have controlled me.
Evan and I just left Maddox’s apartment and are driving in his car when I notice that we aren’t heading towards my apartment.
“Evan, where are we going?” I ask. “I need to stop by my apartment to pick up a few things.”
“We can’t go to your apartment, it might not be safe. I’ll lend you an old T-shirt to sleep in tonight and tomorrow, we can go shopping for clothes,” he informs me.
“I need a toothbrush, tampons and my birth control. I’m pretty sure you don’t have those at your place,” I retort. I watch as a grin appears on Evan’s face. It’s a change from the serious expression he’s had on his face since we both showed up at Maddox’s place, and I melt a little as I’m reminded of how sexy he is.
He cocks his head to look at me, and with a smile, he asks, “Are you on your period?”
And then he says something like that, which royally annoys the crap out of me. I refuse to answer him.
“I need my stuff, Evan,” I stiffly reply, facing forward to avoid looking at him .
“Well, then answer me.”
Ugh! I know Evan, the stubborn jerk that he is, won’t let this go until I tell him. I cross my arms across my chest and let out a frustrated huff before I finally reply, “Yes. I am. Now let’s just go.”
Thankfully, he makes a left without saying anything else. At first, I think he’s heading back in the direction of my apartment, but he pulls into the parking lot of a grocery store instead.
“What are we doing here?” I ask.
“I’m getting you your shit.”
“But I can’t get my birth control here.”
“Call your refill in and we can go pick it up.” He has an answer for everything—I already know I’m going to hate living with him. In an effort to show him that he can’t control me, I don’t get out of the car when he does.
He must know that I’m not budging because he starts laughing before I hear him activate his car’s alarm system. Dickhead. As he walks off, I try to clear my head and make a game plan. A smart person would avoid the high school reunion, but I can’t. I’m so close to getting Jackson and I’m hoping I get to him before he gets me. Evan said he’d hire security for me and I reluctantly accepted it. I hated taking Evan up on his offer knowing that all I had to do was call my parents and ask for a security detail. I didn’t want to worry my parents; plus, they would probably want me to quit my job and go work for them.
A few moments later, I hear the car alarm disarm and see Evan coming back with several bags in his hands. He probably picked up some groceries while he was in there. The man does love to be efficient.
“Here you go,” Evan says abruptly as he opens the car door and sets down his purchases. I peek into the bags and stare at him.
“Why did you buy like fifteen boxes of tampons???” I ask incredulously. He did—he bought every brand, absorbency level, scent, and activity type. Was he expecting me to bleed out and need to use a box a day?
“I’m not exactly an expert on menstrual cycles. I had no clue what you needed,” he states indignantly. “Now call in your birth control,” he gruffly adds. I realize I’m going to have to pick my battles with him, so I call my prescription refill in. I don’t bother to argue on this one because there’s something else that I want.
“Okay, but Evan, I still need to go home,” I tell him.
“Why? What else do you need?” he asks, sounding a little irritated. He’s so snippy. I wonder if his masculine pride took a major hit with his little trip down the feminine product aisle. Good, the douchebag deserves it for being so controlling! Imagining Evan Stone grabbing box after box of tampons off the shelves makes me smile.
“A dress,” I answer.
“I said we’d be shopping for clothes tomorrow,” he firmly reminds me.
“I know, but this is an important dress that I picked out to wear for Saturday. It was expensive and I love it.”
“What’s on Saturday?” he questions. His nosy ass certainly picked the right profession.
“My high school reunion.”
Evan
Her high school reunion? What the fuck? She wants to risk her safety just so she can catch up with her old high school friends???
“You’re not going to your reunion,” I declare resolutely.
“Yes, I am. And you’re not stopping me,” she responds adamantly.
“Watch me.”
“Evan, I have to go,” she insists .
“No, you don’t. Besides, I’ve met Jase. That twig is incapable of protecting you if you got into trouble.”
“Stop being rude,” she replies. “And no, he’s not going.”
As happy as I am to hear that the pompous prick won’t be joining her, I’m pissed that she’s planning on going alone. “Well, then you’re crazier than I thought. You’re planning to attend the reunion by yourself? You can’t be serious. Although, in your defense, you’d probably do a better job of protecting yourself than Jase could if he escorted you. The most he’d be able to do is bore someone to death.” I may be wrong, but I thought I heard her snicker.
“I’m going. End of story,” Alani asserts stubbornly.
“Fine. Do I need to wear a tux?” I ask her pointedly. If she insists on going, it won’t be alone. She gives me a death glare, but I wait patiently for her answer. She has to know that she’d be safer with me by her side.
“No, just a suit will be fine,” she concedes with a sigh.
When we finally pull into the parking garage of my condo, I open the car door for Alani and escort her to the elevator. She seems nervous, being unusually quiet and avoiding any eye contact with me throughout the ride to the penthouse. I don’t know how or why, but this little girl manages to unnerve me as well when I open up my door and let her into my place.
“Would you like a tour?” I ask, breaking the uneasy silence.
“Sure,” she quietly replies. I first show her the living room, dining room, and kitchen. Then, I take her back to the spare bedrooms and reveal her three options to choose from. As I open all the doors, I hear her ask, “Why do you need so much space?”
“I don’t. I just loved the building and all its amenities. There’s a twenty-four hour gym, indoor pool, and room service.”
“Where’s the bathroom? I’ll take the bedroom closest to the bathroom.”
“The bedroom at the end of the hall has an en-suite, so you can have your privacy.”
“Ok, thanks. And Evan, thank you for doing this for me. I really appreciate it,” Alani says sincerely.
“Not a problem, I like knowing you’re safe.” I want to say so much more, but she isn’t ready to hear it. And honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready to admit how hard I’ve fallen for her.
“Can I get that T-shirt? I’d like to shower, then head to bed.”
“Sure,” I respond before heading to my bedroom. I open a dresser drawer and pick out a plain white T-shirt for her. I want to see her wear it after her shower—the white fabric sticking to her wet skin, making it see-through and outlining her nipples and pussy. Jesus. I’m instantly hard—Alani is living in my home. For over two years, I’ve wanted to get close to her and now, it’s finally happening.
When I get back to her room, I find her sitting on the bed, looking scared and uncertain. I walk over and stand in front of her, handing her the shirt.
“Alani, you’re safe here. For the next few days, you are not to leave this place—not until we have a plan and security in place,” I dictate. It has the desired effect, there’s fire in her eyes.
“Evan, I have to work,” she argues.
“You’re not leaving this penthouse unless I’m with you,” I tell her adamantly.
“You can’t be serious. You can’t keep me locked up in here,”
“Oh, I’m serious. I have no intention of making you feel trapped, but we need a plan for your safety in place before you start working again,” I assert. I tried to keep the aggression out of my voice, but I know I failed. She lets out a sigh and stands up with my white T-shirt in her hand.
“Alright. Good night, Evan.” With that, she turns me towards the door and gives me a shove on the back .
I head out and don’t turn back around. I’m already starting to find it difficult to walk away from her, so I simply say, “Night, Alani.”
I let out a deep breath and exit the room.
Lani
I wake up with the sun shining through the sliding glass doors leading out to a private patio—Evan’s place is amazing. From what I saw last night, his penthouse is nicely decorated, but impersonal. Every room has one solid color and the color scheme of the furniture within it match perfectly. There are no family photos or decorations to add personal detail. It’s so much like Evan—cold and uninviting.
I head out to the living room wearing the T-shirt Evan lent me (it comes down to my knees, so it’s more like a nightgown) and my jeans from yesterday. I expect to see Evan, but there’s no sign of him. I notice a piece of paper on the otherwise immaculate coffee table, so I go to pick it up. It’s a note from Evan.
Alani,
Sorry I had to leave early this morning. I’m in the middle of a case that can’t be ignored. I won’t be long, but in the meantime, make yourself at home. I’ve let the staff know I have a guest staying with me, so feel free to call in room service. Whatever you do, don’t leave the place. I’ll call to check on you later.
Evan
The man is infuriating! After already verbally telling me several times last night to stay put and hearing me agree not to go anywhere, he still feels the need to put it in writing the next day. And the anal jerk has the nerve to tell me that he’ll be checking on me like I’m some truant child! I already know I’m going to hate living here, but it’s not like I have many options.
I decide to explore the condo...more specifically, where Evan sleeps. I tell myself that I’m not snooping—it’s for educational purposes. After all, you can tell a lot about a person based on their personal space, and nothing is more personal than someone’s bedroom.
I thought his bedroom would be different, but it’s just like the rest of the place—beautifully decorated, but impersonal. The furniture is made from a dark, expensive-looking wood and everything goes well together with his blue walls, down to the dark blue bedding on his king size bed, which is perfectly made. Glancing around the room, one would think that Evan has the perfect life—rich, immaculate, polished, and beautiful. He’s well put together and has everything in order. But if you look closer, you’d see what’s missing—all of his personal stuff, they’re hidden. Aside from the furniture, the place is barren and doesn’t look lived in. Looking around his room, it makes me sad to see that it’s all for show. His life is a smokescreen, so no one can truly see him for who he is. The realization leaves me with a lot of unanswered questions. Part of me wants to dive in and dig up what Evan is hiding, to find the place where he keeps his secrets and all the hurt locked away. But, I need to respect his space—if he’s hiding something, it’s probably for a good reason. Besides, the Evan I know already scares the hell out of me. I don’t think I’m ready to uncover the part of him that he keeps hidden. While I understand that he’d never physically harm me, I don’t know him well enough to know what he’s capable of or what he’s thinking at any given time.
I close the door to Evan’s bedroom and make my way back to the main living area. Gaining a bit of insight into the puzzle that is Evan only serves to confuse me more, along with my feelings about him. Right now, I’m confused and I’m pissed...and I need a drink. I’m pissed that the three monsters from my past still control me, forcing me to stay at Evan’s and stranding me with the one man I was hoping to avoid. Hopefully, a bit of alcohol will help sort me out. I search for Evan’s stash and find a well-stocked wine cabinet—it’s a wine lover’s paradise. I recognize a lot of the brands since my parents keep stock of a few of them in their hotels. I decide to try the Latour a Pomerol 2010. I find a glass and pour myself a drink. WOW, this is good! I finish the glass in no time and pour myself another. I can feel the alcohol kick in and my body starts to mellow, my worries slipping away. I go turn some music on and Avicii’s “Wake Me Up” begins to play. As I hear the lyrics, I wonder if Evan downloaded this song because he related to it or just thought it was a catchy tune.
The view outside catches my eye and I head out to the balcony to sit and enjoy the Chicago skyline. It’s surprisingly chilly out for an August morning, but deeply breathing in the cool air helps to calm me down. Chicago is already amazing, but it’s even better when you can view it from way up here. I loved growing up in Chicago—my brother Nick and I had an amazing nanny who knew the ins and outs of this city. I remember Nanny Melanie taking us to different attractions like the Chicago Children’s Museum when I was six. She played all day long with my brother and me—she basically raised us. I know my parents loved us, but they were extremely busy building their business. They missed a lot of things as Nick and I were growing up, so I never felt a connection with them. It used to bother me that my parents never showed up for any of my stuff, and that’s why I refuse to have children. I love my job and want to be able to dedicate 100% to it. I don’t want to have kids if I can’t devote my time to them like my parents. Don’t get me wrong, I love Molly’s boys, but spending time with them confirmed that I didn’t want my own. They’re adorable, but when Landon or Lane start to cry, I always eagerly passed them back to their mom, or whoever can comfort them. I’d never be able to provide that for them—I don’t have the maternal instincts that people think all women have.
My thoughts are interrupted when I hear “American Boy” by Estelle and Kanye West come on in the background. I nearly fall on my ass laughing that it’s even on Evan’s playlist. I jump up and dance my way into the living room with my empty wine glass. I refill my glass and muse that Evan will be coming home to a drunk. Oh well, that’s what he gets for forcing me to stay inside. Eyes closed, one hand raised above my head and wine glass in the other, I move my body to the music, getting lost in the song. When I open my eyes, I see Evan standing a few feet in front of me, looking pissed. I stand there, frozen in place by his steady gaze. Not breaking eye contact, he starts nodding his head to the music. Before long, his shoulders are grooving from side to side and he’s loosening his blue tie as he makes his way towards me. He reminds me of a sexy predator, stalking his prey. I feel my face start to heat up, unsure if it’s from the wine, the embarrassment of being caught acting like a fool, or the sexual longing rising in me as he slowly pulls his tie out of his shirt collar and tosses it on the couch. Playfully dancing around me, he smiles and begins to unbutton the top two buttons of his shirt. I now realize that I made a mistake thinking his intense gaze was out of anger—I would have fared better had he just been pissed. I’m not prepared for this side of Evan, the one teasing me like he’s my own personal male stripper. My jaw has to be somewhere in the vicinity of the floor next to the puddle of my saliva.
Coming up behind me, he puts an arm around my waist, encouraging my body to move along with his to the rhythm of the song. “Come on, Alani. Don’t let me stop you from having a little fun,” he seductively whispers in my ear. “Whatever’s keeping you so wound up, just let it go.”
The feel of his hot breath against my skin sends shivers down my spine. I’m hypnotized by the way we’re gyrating together. I need to get away from him before I wind up doing something I regret.
“I can’t. I’m sorry, Evan,” I reply with a shake of my head while simultaneously breaking his hold and moving away from him. As I try to walk off, he grabs my hand to stop me. The music changes to a slow tune, Sam Smith’s “Stay with Me”. Great, perfect timing, as if Evan needed any help! I send out a few curse words to the universe for conspiring against me.
“Come on, Alani, let loose with me,” he persuades, pulling me towards him. I know I shouldn’t, but I allow him to draw me into his arms. Evan’s right, I’m always wound up. A little dancing wouldn’t hurt.
Evan
Alani feels so good in my arms. Why doesn’t she get that? I don’t know why she insists on fighting what’s between us, but I’m not going to rush her. I keep my hands in a light grip on the small of her back. She’s probably not even aware that she’s pulling me closer against her, wrapping her arms tightly around me and placing her head on my chest as we sway to the music. The woman wants me and she’s mine—she just has to admit it to herself first. The song ends and she steps out of our embrace.
“Sorry I drank your wine,” she awkwardly apologizes, gesturing lamely to the nearly empty wine glass in her hand. Apparently, we’re going to avoid talking about us and it pisses me off.
“Don’t sweat it,” I reply gruffly, abruptly walking away from her. She can be incredibly frustrating! When I look at her, I see all woman, but her actions and words are those of some annoying high school girl. I realize I don’t know much about her and maybe she’s right, saying my obsession is based on the idea I have of her and not who she is. Someday, we’re going to need to sit down and talk about us, but because of all the shit that’s going on, I know it won’t be anytime soon. So for now, I’ll settle for her friendship and hope that she accepts mine.
Lani
I’ve been staying at Evan’s for a few days now and things have become awkward and tense between us. I haven’t figured out how to act around him or what to say to him ever since he stalked off after our dance. I know I could have probably handled things a lot better than stupidly apologizing for drinking his wine right after the moment we shared, but I was still reeling from it and trying to sort through my feelings. I know he was pissed, but having him walk away before we could discuss things didn’t help. I felt rejected when Evan turned his back on me and walked away, like I wasn’t worth his time and effort. It brought back some of my childhood insecurities and I haven’t been able to act normal around him since.
Neither of us seems comfortable being around the other, always being polite and treading lightly. I’ve noticed that he keeps wearing those long sleeved button up shirts, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of me. My presence here has to be intruding on his life and disrupting his normal habits and routines. It irritates me that he can’t relax in his own home by putting on shorts and a T-shirt like he probably would if he was by himself. It’s not that I just want to see more of his skin, but he should at least be able to wear something more comfortable. If he’d loosen up, then maybe I wouldn’t feel like I’m imposing on him so much. In an effort to give him some of his space back, I’ve been avoiding him and mostly staying in my room. Hopefully, I can figure something out soon so he can get his bachelor pad and life back.