Chapter 20 Amy
TWENTY
AMY
The stars were bright in the moonless sky when Cal drove me back to the ranch. Butterflies were dancing in my stomach the whole time. I had a crush on him in a big way, which was silly for a widowed mother of a little boy. But I couldn’t help myself.
Who could? Cal was gorgeous and sexy, good with Henry, and he treated me like a partner, not a possession. And every moment we spent together, my attraction toward him increased.
It didn’t hurt that, thanks to Cal, I was now convinced that the rodeo would be a success and the community center would get rebuilt.
I was still floored that when people tried to congratulate and thank Cal for agreeing to headline the rodeo, he’d re-directed the attention and credit to me.
Luke would never have done that. Luke had always accepted all recognition as his due.
It was just another way that Luke and Cal weren’t alike.
I peeked at his profile as he drove. I’d had a great time at Buckman’s.
It felt so good to let loose and have some fun.
I might have forgotten what that was like, it’d been so long.
We’d laughed over drinks, talking about everything and anything.
He told me more about his sister’s kids, and I’d shared with him my love of movies, thanks to my mom’s influence.
I’d flirted a little with him, too. My skills were rusty, but it felt good to spend time with him in that way.
As a matter of fact, the more I thought about it, the more certain I felt that having a crush on him was emotionally healthy, and a step in the right direction for me.
I was certain there was no danger to it because I’d keep my hands to myself, and he’d leave town soon enough. I frowned in the darkness, not liking the thought of him leaving. None of that, I told myself. I could enjoy his company as a…friend. A friend who made my heart flutter and my pulse race.
When we pulled up to the ranch house, he cut the engine and reached for his door handle.
“You don’t have to see me to the door,” I said, unsnapping my seatbelt. He’d done the gentlemanly routine during our practice date, but this evening had been different, lighter and more fun.
“I want to.” He got out of the truck before I could argue and came around to my side. He took my hand, lacing our fingers together as we went up the steps. The romantic gesture surprised me, but the real shock came on the porch when he pulled me close and kissed me.
Exactly like our first kiss, he delicately teased my lips, and I opened to him. He deepened the kiss and I gripped his broad shoulders when my knees threatened to buckle. With one hand on my hip to steady me, he combed his fingers through my hair before cupping the back of my head.
I moaned, surprising myself at the intensity of my response to him. When he backed me against a post, I felt the full heat of his body against mine.
“Amy, Amy,” he murmured as his lips left mine to rain small kisses over my cheekbone and jaw. “You are so beautiful.” His stubble added an extra layer of sensation, and I couldn’t get enough.
But…
I opened my eyes and exerted a little pressure on his shoulders, making him take a half-step back. “You don’t have to do that,” I said, my voice shaky with desire. “We already had the practice goodnight kiss the other night.”
“I’m not practicing now, and I wasn’t then.
But you went into the house so damn fast, I didn’t have the chance to tell you that.
” His fingers coasted over where his lips had been.
“I want to kiss you because I think you’re amazing.
I want to touch you because I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out.
I want to be with you, Amy.” He kissed me again, softer this time before continuing.
“I can’t pretend that I know where things will go between us, but this is no game to me and I need you to understand that. ”
“Oh.” My breaths were ragged, and I struggled to process his words. He wanted me? Half of my instincts cried out that dating Cal was a bad idea. I could get hurt, and so could he. The other half relished the idea of being with him. Kissing him, touching him, making love.
I had to think, so I pushed off the post and walked a few feet away.
There were so many reasons not to get involved with him.
The first was that he’d leave town as soon as the rodeo was over.
The next was how it would look to the Thorne family and to everyone in town.
I sucked in a breath, not liking the scenes I imagined.
“Talk to me, Amy,” Cal said, coming to stand in front of me.
“I’m not sure I can do it,” I whispered.
“You don’t like me?” His voice was equally soft.
“I like you.” I couldn’t keep the smile from my face.
“A lot. But a relationship is never just two people. What will Laura and Jake and Brian think? I don’t want to hurt them.
” I sighed. “Plus, there’s the folks in town.
They’ll gossip about us and speculate that I’m only with you because of your resemblance to Luke. Small towns generate big gossip.”
“They do,” he agreed with me, but his hands slipped to my waist again.
I made myself look him in the eye. “I’m not sure I’m brave enough to date you with everyone watching us.”
“Put that aside for a second,” he suggested. “The real question is do you want to be with me?”
“Yes,” I whispered because I couldn’t deny it.
“Good.” He smiled, and that flutter only got stronger. “Then we won’t let them watch. We’ll keep this private until we figure out where it’s going. No more public dates unless it’s related to the rodeo or we’re with your friends and you’re being friendly,” he emphasized.
Cal was full of surprises, and I added this to the “Unlike Luke” list. Luke had often treated me like a trophy, showing me off to his friends and frat brothers in college.
He’d even told me how to dress. I’d been too young and in love to realize how controlling it was, how invested he was in making sure I looked good on his arm.
The same had been true when we’d come to Poplar Springs after our wedding.
Cal didn’t seem to have that kind of ego.
He didn’t need me to be on display. More notably, he encouraged me to stand out.
He seemed to love that I was better than him at axe throwing while Luke would’ve pitched a fit and insisted we leave.
“Give us a chance, sweetheart,” Cal said. “We’ll be discreet.”
He really didn’t care if we kept our deepening relationship a secret until I was ready. That made him even more special in my mind, so I reached out and grabbed his jacket, bringing him closer before kissing him.
My body hummed with desire and all I could think was that I wanted him in my bed. “Stay the night with me,” I whispered when we finally parted to take a breath.
“I’d love to, but…” He didn’t need to finish the thought.
I lived with my dead husband’s family. My bedroom was isolated on the opposite side of the house from Laura’s and Jake’s rooms, but the morning would be the problem. That was a complication. I thought quickly. There had to be a solution.
“We can say you slept on the couch because you had one too many or you were too tired to drive back to town. Brian does it sometimes when he and Jake hang out. In fact, Laura keeps blankets and a pillow in a basket in case it happens.”
“I should say no, but I can’t seem to do that with you,” he said and kissed me again.
The decision made, we went inside and took off our shoes, so we wouldn’t make any noise on the hardwood floor.
Holding his hand, I led him through the dark house, guiding him around furniture and quietly passing Henry’s closed door. Fortunately, he always slept heavily.
Oh, God, I was sneaking a man into the house. I never did anything like this as a teen but here I was, at thirty, doing exactly that. A nervous giggle escaped me as I reached my bedroom door and led him into the room.
“Something funny?” he asked, softly closing the door behind him.
“No, I’m just…” Before I could finish, he pulled me into his arms and started a kiss that wiped out my nerves and any final misgivings. Everything faded except for the two of us. I pulled his hat from his head and tossed it aside so I could run my fingers through his hair. It was thick and soft.
“Unbutton my shirt,” he whispered against my lips. “I’ve been dying to feel your hands on me.”
With trembling fingers, I unsnapped his western style shirt until it was open down the front. He shrugged out of it, dropping it to the floor at our feet. My hands molded the firm muscles of his chest and shoulders and lingered over his toned stomach.
“So good,” he said, kissing me again, and worked the zipper of my dress down my back. I felt the tug and waited for him to finish removing the garment, but he paused, his hands coming to my face. “Amy, tell me again that you want this.”
“I do. I want you,” I said and wiggled my shoulders, so the dress slithered down my body.
He held me at arm’s length from him, his gaze traveling over me. “So lovely. Every part of you.” His fingertips trailed along the tops of my breasts and then went lower until they found the waistband of my panties. “We should get in the bed. I want to love you.”
He scooped me up and placed me in the center of my bed.
I sat up to watch him shed the rest of his clothing.
He caught me watching and grinned at me.
“You’re beautiful.” As soon as I said it, I wanted to take it back.
That wasn’t something you said to a man, but he truly was.
His muscles were shaped from long hours in the saddle and the rodeo competitions he participated in.
He was long and lean in all the right ways.
He looked pleased at the compliment, preening a bit as he pulled down his boxer briefs and kicked them off. My mouth dried. Every part of him was long and perfectly formed, and I shuddered in anticipation.