Chapter 13
13
PAIGE
I was drinking too much.
But in my defense, Cole was here, and I hadn't seen him in weeks. The last time I'd actually seen him was the night at his apartment. I stayed for the rest of the movie and another one but fell asleep. When I woke, I realized I was somehow sitting up but had my head on Cole's chest who was also sound asleep. I’d grabbed my phone and saw it was five in the morning. Then I’d made the quick decision to leave. I didn’t want to ruin the fun we’d had the night before with an awkward morning. Grabbing my things, I tiptoed out of the living room, opened the door, then locked it behind me and left. I was in my car before I sent him a text.
Me: Thanks for last night. It was fun.
I wasn’t sure what else to say, and I’d just pulled into my driveway when my phone beeped. I grabbed my stuff and went into my townhouse before setting it down and checking the text.
Cole: Did you get home okay?
Me: Just got here.
He didn’t say more, and neither did I. The awkwardness I’d wanted to avoid seemed to plague us anyway. I’d decided to go home and spend Christmas with my family that day. Lanie had invited me to the Dimarcos, but I told her I missed my family and wanted to spend it with them. It wasn’t a lie. I did miss my family, but I could’ve easily split my time between them and Lanie. I’d done it for years, but I decided I needed something different this time.
I’d just gotten back in town when Bree called. She came up with the idea to set up for Lanie’s New Year’s Eve party the night before to leave time tomorrow to fix anything we may have forgotten. I was confident we hadn’t forgotten anything, but since I’d gotten to know Bree a little more, I realized she was a perfectionist, and anything less was unacceptable.
I completely agreed.
But I hadn’t agreed when she decided to ask Cole and Ben to help with the heavy lifting. I should have realized where Ben went, his brothers and their wives went, so this had turned into something of a pre-party. A bonfire was burning, and everyone was drinking while they worked or sitting around the fire, reminiscing about their lives together, whether it be their childhood or since they met their girlfriends and wives. It was fun to listen, but I didn’t have a lot of experiences with the Dimarcos. I had Lanie, and it had been just me and her for as long as I could remember. It never bothered me before that she had moved on. I was happy for her, but for some reason, seeing everyone paired off tonight made me sad.
Which made me drink even more.
Shaking it off, I flicked my gaze to Cole, who was hanging the fairy lights with Ben. I watched as they secured the final strand of fairy lights and smiled as they twinkled brightly against the night sky. It was a beautiful night, cool enough that the fire was appreciated but not cool enough that everyone wanted to go inside. I loved this about North Carolina, so that was why I wanted to move here permanently with Lanie. We could and often did have snow in the winter, but it never lasted long before the temperatures would rise enough to melt it. We’d been having an unusually warm winter without one snowflake yet, but that made this night even better, considering we could be outside for some of the evening. Tomorrow looked to be the same weather. Everything from the weather to the decorations was perfect, and the fact that I had a hand in making it that way for my best friend filled me with a sense of purpose I hadn’t felt in a long time. After planning this and feeling this way, I was seriously considering quitting my job and finding something as fulfilling as this had been. Life’s too damn short to be doing something that doesn't bring me any satisfaction.
Grabbing another drink from the cooler on the bar that Ben and Jake had set up, I turned and immediately felt eyes on me. Lifting the bottle to my lips, I took a sip and searched the yard until my eyes found Cole’s.
He was watching me.
Excitement filled me, and while I knew the smart thing to do would be to look away, I couldn't seem to convince myself to do that. He lifted the bottle he was holding to his lips and took a sip before starting across the yard toward me. Someone called out his name, but his eyes never wavered from mine.
I didn’t move—not because I was making him come to me but because I literally felt glued to the spot while I watched him walk. He was confident and smart, two qualities I found sexy in men, but were also two qualities that at times made me feel inadequate.
He stopped in front of me and glanced around before his stare met mine. I was curious as to what was going on in his mind. He was a bit of a closed book. He never said much, and he was hard to read. I was used to spending time with men who were an open book and didn’t take life too seriously. Playthings. That was what I always surrounded myself with because I knew how to handle them, knew what to expect, and never got my hopes up that it would amount to more than a good time.
Cole wasn’t that type of man, and I had no idea what to do with that.
“Merry Christmas.” He grinned. “Belated.”
I smiled. "Merry Christmas.”
“How was your family?”
I tilted my head to the side. “How did you know I was with my family?”
“I asked Lanie.”
It shouldn’t make me as happy as it was to hear he’d asked about me, but it really did. “It was fun. I haven’t been home for that long in a while.”
“So you were ready to come back,” he teased.
Laughing, I nodded. “Definitely.”
He gestured toward the yard. “You did a great job with the party.”
I smiled softly and repeated his gesture. “This was pretty much all Bree.”
“That’s funny because she said she couldn’t have done it without you, and you had a lot of ideas she never considered.”
That made me feel amazing, but I wasn’t sure how to take the compliment because of our history. I didn’t have to wonder long. “I can tell you think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. We’re both impressed.”
I had no idea how he read me so easily when I found him so challenging, but I decided not to question it. “Thank you. It was a lot of fun, but let’s wait and see how tomorrow goes before we celebrate too much.”
“It’ll be fine. Hell, half the people who are coming tomorrow are here tonight.”
I laughed. “I’m not sure how that happened.”
His eyes landed on my lips, and his smile widened. “That’s just how our family is.”
When his eyes slowly slid up to meet mine, I swallowed hard before turning and leaning my back against the bar to look out across the lawn. I couldn’t hold his stare, afraid he’d see that this, our attempt at a relationship, even if that was only friendship, meant more to me than it did to him. “I'm so glad Jake moved in next door to Lanie and was able to give her this family.”
“I heard she didn’t have it easy growing up,” he replied, his voice low.
“Lanie would tell you she didn’t have it bad at all,” I explained. “But she didn’t have this.”
He snorted. “Not many people do.”
I laughed softly. “That’s very true.”
I saw Harper heading in our direction, and I glanced at Cole. “She get you back yet?”
He grinned and shook his head. “Nope.”
“Does that feel as scary to you as it does to me?”
“Nah.” He flicked his wrist. “She’s just trying to figure shit out before she decides on her revenge.”
Harper walked up to the bar and reached around me to grab a bottle from the cooler. “What are you two whispering about?”
“Wasn’t aware we were whispering,” Cole answered.
Her eyes flicked from Cole to me, and she watched me closely. “It seems like you’re getting along better.”
Cole glanced at me, and with a mischievous smirk, he shifted his attention back to Harper. “We have an understanding.”
It was easy to see she was intrigued when she tilted her head. “What kind of understanding?”
“The kind I don’t talk about with my little sister.” He lifted the bottle to his lips, and I tried very hard not to widen my eyes. I couldn’t believe he was messing with her again. Until the Friday night we spent watching movies together, I’d never seen Cole be playful or mischievous, but I was enjoying it.
She looked back and forth between us. “I’m not sure if you’re lying, but I’m gonna find out.”
She gave us one more long look before walking toward the fire, but she glanced over her shoulder a few times.
“She’s so easy to fuck with.”
I looked up and met his stare. “She’s going to tell everyone something’s going on.”
He shrugged. “She’s drinking, so they won’t take her seriously.” Turning his body slightly, he leaned down and whispered, “Is she looking this way?”
Clearing my throat, I turned my body to face him but glanced at the fire. “Yep.”
He dropped his head to my neck, and I closed my eyes when arousal settled low in my belly. He smelled so good, and feeling his breath against my neck made me think about all kinds of things I shouldn’t, considering this was just a game.
I heard him snort out a laugh and turned my head to see what he was looking at. Harper was staring at us, her eyes wide, like she honestly couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
He pulled his head back but kept his face close to mine, and I couldn’t resist asking, “Why are you doing this?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’m drunk and a little bored.” I laughed, appreciating his honesty, but the smile fell from my lips when he continued. “Plus, it’s giving me an excuse to be this close to you. If I wasn’t messing with Harper, you wouldn’t let me.”
We were entering very dangerous territory, but I was also drinking too much to care. Any inhibitions I’d had around Cole disappeared when he buried his head against my neck. “You don’t know that. You haven’t tried.”
His lips tipped in a grin. “You telling me you like me being this close?”
Lifting my bottle, I put it to my lips, taking a long sip, purposely dragging out my answer. I loved this little game we were playing, and I wanted to say exactly the right thing to keep it going. Flirting with Cole turned out to be my favorite part of the night. His eyes dropped to my lips when I slowly licked the sweet drink from them. Groaning, he wrapped his hand around my hip and squeezed.
“What are you gonna do about it if I say I do?”
He yanked my body against his and leaned down, putting his mouth next to my ear. “I’m gonna get closer.”
I tilted my head to the side and shivered when his lips skimmed along the side of my neck, but then just as quickly as it began, he pulled back and glanced toward the fire when the music was turned up.
“Lanie!” Jake yelled and pulled Lanie from her seat. “Come on, we’re dancin’.”
I watched her laugh, and a smile graced my lips when everyone else started to stand, joining in.
“Walk with me.” My head snapped to Cole when I felt his hand wrap around mine.
“What?” He didn’t answer, and I didn’t question it again, just followed him into a darker part of the yard where no lights were strung. I kept glancing over my shoulder, but it didn’t seem like anyone noticed we’d left, so I moved quickly, curious about his plan. He moved around the side of the garage and tried the door. Pushing it open, he grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. It was dark, the only light coming from the motion light on the house, but it was just enough for me to see his face.
He shut the door, locked it, and leaned his hand against the wall beside my head. “I don't want an audience.”
“An audience for what?”
He grinned, but he didn’t answer me. Turned out he didn’t have to with words when he dropped his lips to mine. He felt so damn good, just like the night at Crush, a night I both loved and hated to remember.
He dropped his hands to my waist and pushed his body tight against mine. I could feel his arousal, and a confidence I usually lacked around him soared through my body. This was a bad idea, but I didn’t care. I wanted him. I’d wanted him since I met him even though I wasn’t sure I liked him. And I needed to get him out of my system.
Pulling back, he leaned his forehead against mine. “This probably isn’t a good idea.”
“Probably not.” I ran my hands over his chest.
He wrapped his hands around my hips and pushed his body tighter against mine, but his words contradicted his actions. “We’ve both had way too much to drink.”
Assuming he would stop this before it started, I decided to take action. I didn’t care if it was a bad idea. I needed this. Wrapping my hand around the back of his neck, I yanked him forward, slammed my lips against his, and kissed him the way I had at Crush.
This was not a sweet kiss. This wasn’t just making out and having a good time. This was carnal. It felt necessary to be this close to him. Reaching between us, I pulled his shirt from his pants and ran my hands under it, excited to finally feel his skin beneath my fingers. He was hard everywhere from the hours he put in working. He wasn’t someone who went to the gym, but he didn’t need to.
His hands ran under my sweater, and he yanked down the cups of my bra to cover my breasts with his hands. Breaking the kiss, I leaned my head against the wall and sighed while he pushed the waistband of my yoga pants over my hips and down my legs. I kicked off my shoe, and he yanked the pant leg off before standing.
Our eyes met, but we didn’t say a word. We didn’t have to. The heat between us said everything, and moving at the same time, we came back together. He ran his hands over my body, but there was no need for foreplay. We both needed the release we’d been craving. I unzipped his pants, then pushed them down along with his underwear and wrapped my hand around his steely cock. Satin over steel. It felt like an appropriate metaphor for who he was.
He groaned against my mouth, grabbed my leg, and pulled it up to his hip. I shoved my thong to the side and moaned loudly when he slid deep inside me. I should’ve been a little embarrassed that I was so wet without any foreplay at all, but I wasn’t. This was Cole. It was what he did to me without much more than a word or a grin.
“Fuck,” he muttered against my lips. “It’s too good.”
Smirking, I laid my hand against his butt and pulled him closer. “No such thing.”
He returned my smirk and began pumping his hips, but we both kept shifting to make the angle better. Irritated, he pulled out of me, turned, and moved us to the vehicle parked in the garage.
Placing me with my chest against the hood, he leaned down and growled against my ear. “Hold on.”
Smiling, I did just that and cried out when he thrust back into me, this time going deeper than I’d ever felt anyone and hitting places inside me that sparked a fire. With the orgasm rushing through my body, I couldn’t even form a coherent thought, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to enjoy this and revel in the feelings only Cole had ever caused.
I shouted out my orgasm, and it wasn’t long before he collapsed against my back, his body sweaty and his breathing just as labored as mine.
I didn’t know how long we stayed that way, but our bodies eventually cooled, and our breathing slowed.
He cleared his throat and slowly pulled from me, fixed my thong, and moved away. I felt the cool air hit my back and wondered if that was the universe telling me that we went too far. That a fire like that could only be followed by a chill.
Turning, I fixed my clothes and watched while he did the same. What could we say after that? I tensed when I thought about all the things he could say and how that would feel like a dagger. After all, for Cole, this was physical, only chemistry. For me, it was more, but I would only admit that to myself.
He ran his hands through his hair. “That shouldn’t have happened.”
And there they were. The words I didn’t want to hear. A second before he spoke, I knew what he was about to say by his expression, and I couldn’t bear to hear him tell me this was a mistake.
But that was exactly what he did.
I laid my hand on his chest and smiled the fakest smile I could muster. “One-time thing, right?” When he didn't answer right away, I dropped my hand. “Chalk it up to drinking too much.” He jerked up his chin, and I continued. “We should probably keep this to ourselves, though.”
He studied me closely, and it seemed like he wanted to say something, but he never did. “Yeah, probably.”
I pointed at the house I knew to be on the other side of the detached garage. “I’m gonna crash at Lanie’s, I think. I definitely can’t drive.”
He jammed his hands into his pockets. “I’ll walk you inside.”
He was a gentleman, like all the Dimarcos, it seemed, but I didn’t want him to walk me inside. I needed to be alone. I needed to go into Lanie’s house and call someone to pick me up so I could get the hell out of here.
Thanking Cole at the door, I quickly went inside and shut the door before he could say anything, then went straight to the couch in the living room to sit down.
I have no idea how many numbers I dialed, hoping for anyone to answer and be willing to come get me, but eventually, I quit when it was obvious I wasn’t getting a ride home tonight. When I heard the door open and close, I cringed, praying whoever it was would just walk past and not notice me.
“Hey, what are you doing inside?” I slowly turned my head and faced Lanie, who was smiling. “You know the party’s outside, right?”
I pasted on my very best fake smile. “Yeah, I know. I decided to call it a night.” I lifted my phone to show her before laying it on the couch beside me again. “Trying to find a ride.”
“You never call it a night before the party’s over,” she answered suspiciously and moved to sit beside me. “What’s really going on?”
“I’m saving my energy since we’re literally repeating this same party tomorrow night.” I tried again, but she didn’t believe me. I loved a party. I didn’t think I’d ever left a party early, and Lanie knew me well enough to know that.
She narrowed her eyes at my neck and reached up to push my hair off my shoulder. “You have a hickey.”
I slapped my hand over my neck. I had no idea he’d even done that or when, probably because I was so wrapped up in the feeling of him, but leave it to Lanie to notice. “That’s not what that is.”
She shifted back and stared at me incredulously. “I know what a hickey is, Paige. I’m married to Jake, remember?” When I just laid my head against the couch and stared at the ceiling, she touched my arm. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I just did something stupid, which is normal for me.” Rolling my head, I smiled at her. “It’s really nothing. Just drank too much.”
“How stupid?”
“As stupid as you can get,” I answered honestly. “Now, go back to your party. I’m fine.”
“It’s winding down.” She shrugged. “I’m honestly okay with that. You know I can only be surrounded by that many people for so long.”
I smiled sincerely. “Yeah, I know. I’m surprised you lasted this long, considering you have to do it again tomorrow.”
She laughed and sat back, leaning her head against the couch cushion, but she rolled it so we could face each other. “Will you tell me who?”
“I shouldn’t,” I admitted. “We agreed that wasn’t a good idea.”
“That bad, huh?” I knew the minute she figured it out because her eyes slowly widened. “Cole?”
“Yep.”
“Oh no.” She frowned. “How?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. We were talking and then flirting just to screw around with Harper, and then we were making out. It all happened so fast.”
“And then what?”
“Then I came here, and he left.”
“That’s it? You didn’t talk about it?”
“I told him we’d chalk it up to being drunk, and he said it shouldn’t have happened.”
“I’m sorry.” She wrapped her hand around mine. “I hate that he keeps hurting you.”
“He didn’t hurt me.” I rolled my head to stare at the ceiling again. “He doesn’t even know he can.”
“Maybe if he knew…?”
I was already shaking my head, which forced her to trail off. “I don’t want him to know that his words have hurt me in the past. That would make things complicated, and I don’t like complicated.”
“I know you don’t.” She sighed loudly. “I’m so mad at him.”
I laughed, which I wouldn’t have thought possible a few minutes ago. Lanie was the absolute best friend a girl could have. It didn’t matter that I was as much to blame for all the shit between Cole and me; she had my back every time.
I squeezed her hand and rolled my head to face her. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
I thought about all the things I wanted to say, all the things she deserved a thank-you for, but I finally landed on the one thing that encompassed it all. “For being my sister in every way that matters.”
She smiled and laid her head on my shoulder. “Thank you for being the same for me.”
I settled further into the couch and sat quietly with the only person in my life who never let me down.